"FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT"

a young man shouted as he pressed the sole of his high-heels into the mushy head of a walking fungus. his teeth gritted as a screen popped up saying (youve earned 10000000000000 exp, level up come-) which he punched to the side. the screen bashed into a tree, craching and soon falling to a cyan pile of dust beneath the tree. he angerly bashed on, his pink frilly dress swaying magickly in the calm breeze. in his hand he held a pink wand think, looking eerily similar to a certain magical girl's signature want.

"CHAA"

a small red lizard jumped out from a bush, its green, pointy horns standing erect on its forehead.

"SHUT UP"

the young man threw the wand in the general direction of the lizard. the lizard burst into red cubes. another pop-up appeared (youve earned 1000000-)

"FUCK OFF"

he jumped up, his muscelar leg streched out above the screen. he soon slammed the screen onto the ground with his leg, a perfect dropkick. the screen shattered the moment it hit the ground, turning into cyan dust.

"WHERE ARE MY MOTHERFUCKING DRAGONS"

before he had even taken a step, the wand thingy flew back into his hand. he immidietly grabbed it with his both hands and slammed it into his knee, hoping to hear it krack.

"KRACK"

and krack it did. he fell to the ground, holding his mangeled knee. the wand sparkeled with fairydust, almost challanging him for another fight.

"YOU... FUCKING..."

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he shouted at the wand, hoping for an answer, but none would come. becouse it was a wand. and not even a glittering stripper sun wand would reply to that.

"SO THATS HOW YOU WANT IT, HUH???"

he got up, his knee immidietly healing, to his dismay. he bashed his foot into the ground for frightening effect, but instead he found himself wobbeling on his high-heel clad feet.

"FUCK SHIT"

he soon fell yet again, his burly chin smashing into the ground, causing a crator. hes just that chinny. the wand kept floating in midair, defying the laws of gravity. rules are meant to be broken, after all. the young man pushed his body up on two legs, wobbeling all the while. he panted as he took off, charging at the floting wand.

"AAAAAARGHHHH"

he tackeled the wand, both of them falling to the floor. the wand dissapeared with a "poof", turning into pink glitter. (you earned 10000-)

"DIEEEEEEEEEE"

he grabbed the screen and bit it in half, dust filling his mouth.

"ptu-ptu"

he spit the cyan dust out, drying his tounge on the frills of his magic dude dress. he got up, wiping his mouth and tounge. the tight dress stuck to his body like glue, and no matter how hard he tried to remove it, the author just kept saying "nope". it didnt help that his skin litelarely sparkeled in the sun, making him look like a wimpire. the serene landscape of "green random forest" didnt help him too much, and he had to keep walking.

the eventuall monsters jumping out at him were met with either a backwards roundhouse kick or a backhand to the part that looked the most like a face. soon the pop-up screens could only say (y).

"WHOS DERE"

he must have sensed something since he stuck his arms up, a bright pink light blinding him with its suicidal rays. out of the light, a pink arm reached out. soon a pink leg left the light, and eventually, an entire girl appeared. as soon as she left the pink portal, her body was suddently enshrouded in shadow. the shadow soon formed into heavy armour, and in her hand, an enormous black sword appeared.

"h-huh?"

a cute voice erupted from the massive hunk of armour. the petite voice would be very well suited for a cute little girl.

"w-why is it so... dark?..."

the hunk of armour took a step forward, soon collapsing and falling forward.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU"

the burly man said, taking a step forward towards the hunk of armour. his feet wobbeled and he soon faceplanted the ground, passing out beside the also passed out little girl.

- end of chapter one -

welp. welcome, izz meh. some dude who gave up two months ago. just wanted to do something, so here we are. thanks for reading, ill probobly never update this.