Something I have wanted to talk about is the sexual assault scene at the end of chapter nineteen. I have mulled over it and wondered if it was necessary for me to write. Kaeo and Lea were originally meant to become romantically involved by the end of the third but I want to make my thoughts clear. I don't want it to seem that I wanted to lean into the popular trope of sexual assault morphing into a "consensual" relationship.
Especially since Kaeo and Lea are both women, young girls really and I know how bad it would look to a reader. To see two characters, one revealed to be into women, assaulting a seemingly "straight" character she has a crush on would make many uncomfortable. This has bothered me the author. I wanted to get across Kaeo's naivety and possessiveness caused her to hurt Lea, her friend, and crush.
Kaeo was forced through manipulation, but she still has blame to take. I want to show how dark this world can be without fetishizing forced kissing. So, if the two ever do get together this scene is not their first kiss. This is a dark day for Kaeo where she gave in to her instincts and allowed herself to be led astray. Both girls will be negatively affected by this and it will lead to volume three's inner monologue.
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I had friends read over the scene to make sure it wasn't sexy or hot in any way. They found it uncomfortable to read and disturbing. I hope that came across well, for example, I had Lea pee herself out of sheer fear as anyone would when being assaulted. And, many women are told to vomit, pee, or be gross to freak out or disgust their would-be assaulters in social media she's defending herself unconsciously.
I'm unsure whether the scene will be kept in the second draft or will be rewritten into full sexual assault or kept a kiss. Either way, I just wanted to reflect on this scene separately from the rest of volume two.