So... Kawena Kapule. I wasn't sure what to think of her, really. Part of me wanted to totally hate her for being such a cold bitch towards us, part of me thought about the stuff she'd been through and just wanted to give her a big hug--which would probably lead to a lot of pain very quickly, but I wasn't thinking about that part--and part of me was totally getting on my case about obsessing over a girl when there was actual important stuff on the line, like alien invaders, learning to use my powers, and geometry tests.

But right now I'm in too much pain to waste too much time angsting over my angsting over the last week. I just need to write this out.

There was something about the way Kawena talked about "the role of a shield" being to take hits until it breaks, that makes me wonder how close she is to her own breaking point. Eden said that it was her bond with the Fundament that made her face clear up. Not sure how that works exactly--maybe just making her healthier in general?--but if so, she can't have had it for too long. And then the rest of the team is three rookies. For all intents and purposes, Kawena is the Solar Defenders right now; if we lose her, we're left with a bunch of inexperienced kids who don't know what they're doing, facing off against relentless galactic horrors, and I can't help but feel like she can't take much more of this one way or another. So just in case the worst happens, I want this written down for someone to find. I want the world to know our story, the real one.

Anyway, first order of business. There were no funerals. No students suddenly moving out under suspicious circumstances, no announcements that any of our classmates had died, and I didn't notice anyone missing in any of my classes. That means whoever those three Defenders were, they're still around, somewhere at our high school.

About two days after the first attack, the three of us all found a new app on our phones, that we didn't install. It was just sitting there with a notification for me when I woke up: a message from Eden. "Like V said, we'll be in touch. - M" So apparently the Defenders have a special chat app that they use to communicate? I'd expected something a bit more... I dunno. Mystical, I guess. Like maybe telepathy or something?

There's also been no more attacks. It's been a week now, and... nothing. If anything, I'd have expected the Masters to strike again quickly, if they knew that they're up against inexperienced Defenders, to keep us off-balance. So that means I've had plenty of time to spend on more productive pursuits, such as trying to figure out what's been going on.

Seriously, who is Kawena to say that we shouldn't know who the old Defenders are? If they're still around, they should be with the team even if they lost their powers, as advisors if nothing else. I mean, just think how much more effective we could be under the guidance of people who know what they're doing! Josh and Jenny both think that's a great idea, but Kawena unilaterally vetoed it when we brought up the idea on IM, and Eden... she just seems to go along with whatever Kawena wants. Well, screw that. Kawena doesn't think it would be safe, but you know what's even less safe? The whole world is less safe if we end up losing, that's what! If I'm supposed to be the leader, then shouldn't I get some say in how things work? I noticed that Aderan didn't say anything about all those rules Kawena built up around his actual rules--those are all her.

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

Unfortunately, so far I've really got nothing. I probably should have paid attention last Thursday, looking for people who seemed to be having a particularly bad day, but I still didn't know if I'd need to. Or was that even the right thing to pay attention to? Should I have been looking for people who were absent that day? I don't even know! Well, I sure hope I'll have time to figure it out.

Anyway, everything at school's been pretty normal. A bit too normal, if you ask me. How can everything change like that, and then everything stays so much the same? Wake up, shower, get dressed, eat, go to school, come home, do homework... wonder if there'll be a monster attack. And no one notices. Maybe that's part of what Kawena means about being a shield? It's not just the physical attacks that we have to shield people from, is it? Wow, how in the world has she been doing this for two years?

I got a C on the Geometry test. I was hoping for a B. I guess I should have studied more.

The one thing that's really changed was at the karate meet, earlier today. There was a new guy there from East Hill, Juan Santos, and he was good. Really good! I won my first three bouts, but then the fourth was against him. He was quick and strong, and he didn't pull his punches; he fought like it was an actual fight! First round, he feinted, then caught me off guard with a hard punch to the chest. Second, I kept my guard up better, almost scored a point on him, and then he turned my strike, got my arm in a joint lock, and swept my feet out from under me, dropping me hard on my butt. I think I might have bruised my tailbone a little from that one!

I finally scored one on him in the third round. He's a few inches shorter than me, mostly in the legs, so I used a bunch of quick snap kicks to make him keep back so I could think. I felt the Fundament trying to whisper to my mind, but I ignored it; Kawena was right about that much at least. No sense in drawing attention to myself. Instead, I feigned weakness, overextending myself on one of the kicks, then dodging back when he stepped in to take advantage, catching him with a quick shuto strike to the chest.

That earned me a little nod of respect, but this time he was ready for me. He came in fast, and when I tried to throw a kick to make him back off, he dodged sideways and caught me just below the ribs with a side kick that totally made me crumple to the mat. 3 points, match goes to Juan, and... ow. Three hours later, that still hurts.

Juan almost took the whole tournament. He went up against Kawena next. It was a bit more even, and she got in the first point, but he still beat her, 3-2. We only barely managed to take home the title when he ended up facing off with Blake Underwood for the last round, and even then it was close. I'll say this much for him. Blake may be a thug, but he's really good at karate.

That just makes me hate him even more.

A bunch of us asked Sensei about Juan afterwards, and he said he didn't know anything about the guy, but he'd try and find out, since we'd probably be facing him again next month. It made me idly wonder, for a few moments at least, if there's any way to voluntarily give up a Fundament and hand it off to someone, because Juan is way better than me. He'd probably be better as a Defender than I ever will!

Oh crap! I don't believe this! As I'm sitting here writing this, we just had a big thunderclap and lightning bolt, and now my phone's lighting up with a message from Kawena. And I'm really in no shape to fight!

Well, here's hoping that this won't be my last entry...