‘So what if I asked a lady if she's pregnant before boarding the roller coaster? That doesn't mean I should be fired! Should I have asked - No. Did they warn us not to ask in training - Yes, but that's besides the point. Even if she complained to her weirdly large community on facebook and started a minor boycott, that doesn't mean they should fire me.’
These were the thoughts running through my head as I drove home from work at the amusement park after being fired.
‘I should’ve just tripped over one of the many safety hazards into a roller coaster so I could sue their --’ Interrupted, I slam on my brakes to avoid being hit by a car swerving out of their lane. In a daze after being fired, almost being killed barely even phases me at this point.
Besides that minor incident where I almost died (almost only matters in horseshoes), I manage to arrive back home to my dingy apartment unscathed. Unlocking the door to my apartment, I find… not my apartment. I also can no longer find the door.
Amidst my confusion, I caught the disapproving looks of a woman walking her dog. Clad in my now out-of-place amusement park uniform, I was clearly an oddity in the mostly empty suburban street. Ignoring her scornful gaze, I try to take stock of myself as I am clearly in the midst of a mental episode. As thoughts race through my mind, I notice something peculiar about the womans dog - “IS THAT A FUCKING YAMPER” I accidentally exclaim out loud in my confusion.
The woman stared at me incredulously, prompting me to swiftly vacate the area. As I walk, I take out my phone to try to figure out where I am, only to find something that isn’t my phone. Instead, I find something the looks fresh out of the early 2000s with a Silph Co. brand instead of the expected Samsung.
Unlocking the device, I found myself staring at a cheesy 3D render of a Pokéball on the lock screen. PokeMaps replaced Google Maps, revealing my unexpected location—Nimbasa City, Unova Region.
I decide to navigate to a nearby park to try to take stock and figure out what's going on. After arriving at the park and sitting on an empty bench, I go through my belongings to figure out what else may have changed besides my phone.
The amusement park uniform now bore Nimbasa's logo, my wallet contained unfamiliar currency, and my ID transformed into a trainer card, complete with a changed place of birth—Castelia City.
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Pokemarts are weird. Despite looking like a convenience store, they offer a shockingly useful array of items beyond what you can buy in the games. They have almost anything you can think of that a trainer might need for their journey, from tents, to camp stoves - even including food mixes for different pokemon types.
As I assessed my financial situation, a meager $464 stared back at me—barely enough to secure the essentials for survival in this familiar yet alien world. Forced to make practical choices, I began my meager shopping spree.
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
First, I am forced to buy a cheap drawstring bag for 5$ to carry everything in.
Contemplating where to find rest, the exorbitant prices of most tents forced me to reconsider. A one-person tent, the most affordable option, demanded upwards of $200, far beyond my budget. Instead, I opted for a more budget-friendly solution—a camping hammock and tarp duo, costing $120. Practicality triumphed over comfort in this financial balancing act.
Most importantly I buy a pokeball - costing 200$ alone.
Spending that last 39$ on food for myself and the pokemon I want to catch along with a 99 cent lighter, I am officially out of money on Day 1 of my stay in this world.
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Lying in my new hammock on the outskirts of the woods adjacent to Nimbasa, I realized I needed to figure out my path forward. Tackling questions one at a time:
1) Now that I know where I am, I need to figure out when I am. Where does this fall in the timelines of the games and anime
2) How does this whole pokemon trainer thing even work, the games and anime gloss over it but this is critical to my survival in this world
3) Who am I to this world? I clearly have some form of presence here judging by my new ID with a changed Birth place.
Thinking over all these questions I try to tackle them one at a time. Searching on my new phone (which miraculously has signal on these outskirts of town), I decide the best method to figure out when I am is to check Unova’s champion as this changes between Black and White (BW) and BW2. As I delved into my miraculously functioning phone, I began to decipher my temporal situation. After a few inquiries, I stumbled upon the revelation that the champion was still Alder, placing me sometime before the sequels came out. Next, I try to find evidence of whether Ash exists, which will help me pin down this timeline. A simple search of “Ash Ketchum” proves basically no results, along with any similar searches I attempt. Based off that, I can only assume that I am within the timeline of the games. Additionally, after I remember that in the games, the x-transceiver just came out recently, I decided to search that up as well. I quickly find out the product just came out last month, which means that on the timeline I am currently sitting at-
“Ah fuck”, I exclaim out loud after I come to this realization.
If my math is correctly, this places me right before the events of black and white - where team plasma decides to attempt a coup to overthrow unova’s league and they awaken the sleeping legendaries to decide on whose ideology is right. When i consider all of this my option becomes clear - steer the FUCK away from the main story. I have no desire to be a hero when there are dragons duking it out in a pissing contest when N could literally just ask 90% of pokemon how they feel.
With that question out of the way, I move on to the next, how does this whole pokemon trainer thing even work?
Skimming over what I can find online, it turns out the media was shockingly accurate besides a few small details.
First, the minimum age to be a trainer is higher, being 16 rather than 10. This wasn’t really a concern to begin with as I'm 21.
Additionally, It’s shockingly expensive to be a trainer. Although it can be lucrative to those at high levels from sponsorships and the like, for those of us who are below 5 badges, it's common to have parents pay for your journey.
Ignoring my future financial peril, I move on to the final question - Who am I to this world? Going to my new phones gallery, the only photo I can find it the background. Further more, upon googling myself (now called Silfing, a term I find utterly ridiculous and refuse to adopt) the only information I can find is an obituary for my parent. So who am I to this world - very little.