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So always you perish
my not so far past

my not so far past

I woke up after that encounter and walked into the kitchen while my father was making lunch. “Wow kid, you look like shit.” My father had said. I gave him a sarcastic smile.  “Thanks, dad.”

I grabbed my plate and put some food on it. My dad stopped me in my tracks.

 “I smell liquor.” my father said, worriedly.

 “It was just a bit.”

 “Don’t lie to me, please.” He said, his face serious. “Couldn’t you have just waited until you got to the party to start drinking?”

 “Nope,” I responded as I popped open a beer bottle and started chugging it in front of him, his face was of utter disgust. Dad was getting older, I had seen,  and more vulnerable. His beard now graying, his long black hair with new-found white streaks staining it, I walked out of the door and went

to the party, my dad had heard a knock at the door. He opened it and his heart sank. He was staring into the mask of a Project Red member. 

Meanwhile, at the party which is somewhere I’m never at, I spy Cecilia. 

 She’s quite cute for a rich bitch. Her round Harry-Potter-ass glasses, her plump body, The girl could be a supermodel… At least, in my eyes, the only red flag is she dated our fuckin’ teacher. I waved at her and asked her if she’d seen Conan or Melissa. 

“No sir” She said softly, and there they were, the Wonder Twins, they are the youngest in our little friend group. Conan being 16 and Melissa being a year older, Conan’s neon yellow hair with a semi Mohawk shone bright as the fuckin Sun and this lit up the party room, they always wear this tank top with the Nirvana logo and some ripped jeans, and in all honesty, their transition is working, that’s for damn sure. 

Melissa came looking cute as a button, as usual, she’s small for her age but she makes up for it in the fighting abilities that even rival mine. I’ve known her since she was a little thorn in my back. I love her hair pinned back, her cat-like ears flapping cuz of the loud music. She has this blue crop-top and short skirt on. 

Most people would cat call her, but she always spends her time huddled up next to me because people don’t even try. A good idea, too, because I carry my sword on my back everyday which is against protocol. The sword is only out when combat training is happening but since I’m graduating soon, nobody

gives a fuck. I walk around with my little mystery gang following me like we’re in some damn Scooby-Doo cartoon. I spot my boy Niko.

 I put my hand out, telling them to wait here, and I walk up to him. He’s looking like new money. Fresh Nike’s. Like, he just bought ‘em. Blazer jacket, I damn near developed another crush on him. Then I remembered how after dating him for a while he spoiled all other male partners ‘cause they all couldn’t compare. 

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I think he caught me looking at him because he touched my face and said “Ya know we can get out of here and sneak somewhere.” I pushed his hand away and smirked “Nah man I’m still tryna forgive you for what you did.” 

“The fuck did I do?” I growled jokingly.

 “Bro, after you dumped me for that bimbo Sarah I tried to date other men but they were all shitty-ass partners compared to you.” Niko pushed me a bit. Too hard, almost, as if my words stung him.

 “You might wanna put your drink down Niko. Don’t want it spilling on your new shoes.” I say walking back up to him. “Oh, so we really doin’ this?” 

“I don’t know, are you gonna push me again?” He growls and waves his hands in my face in a threatening motion. Fortunately, Wonder-Woman Cecilia comes and grabs my arm. “Control your man,” she says “And in return, I will control your mouth,” she said walking me back to the group. “This why I fucking hate men.” 

Suddenly my phone blows up with a barrage of texts. I open my phone and it’s texts from my father.  ‘This ain’t good.’  I 

thought “Where the fuck are you?” 

“Hey, Jacob? Come home. Now.” 

I cursed under my breath and grabbed my car keys. I walked off. My friends followed behind me as I got in my dad’s old 1972 Ford Pinto.

 I put in a CD to calm my nerves. My favorite songs are on that playlist but there’s something about the song that played next. “How to Save a Life by The Frays reminded me of a friend. Melissa caught wind of my mood   and sighed. “Strange, it’s only been two years since Pandora.” She made a cutting motion that hurt my soul. Pandora was one of our friends despite being the youngest of the Group. Melissa had always known everyone I knew. She’s pretty much the founding member of our friend group. Pandora had killed herself two years ago, at least that’s what the police report said, we believed it as long as we could.

 But I’m sure she’s still out there.  I turned up the music to get lost in my feelings for a bit. Soon after, I turned off the music, got out of the car, and got to the house. The lights were off. “Shit.” I grumbled. I told my friends to stay in the car.

I walked into the house with my key, I turned on the light and I saw my father gasping for air, a pool of blood surrounding him. Someone else’s or his own…? 

“FUCK!” I screamed. I kneeled towards him.

 “I’m fine.” He said weakly.

 “Come on, I’m gonna drive you to the hospital, come on.” I tried lifting him up. He was heavy. I tried checking his pulse.

 The room went quiet.

 His eyes grew pale and I could feel he was gone. I cradled my father in my arms. “Don’t do this to me dad,

please.” I rocked back and forth, sobbing quietly. I walked back to the car and got in. My friends are kind enough to not talk to me and all I said was “He’s gone.” 

Silent terror and dismay struck their hearts. They all loved my father, almost like he was their own. Hell, he was every- ones father. Now he’s gone.

 I drove Melissa home first, then Cecilia, then Conan. I got a text from Melissa and I stopped the car in its tracks.

 ‘I called some people to help get your dad’s body out of the house. They’re gonna have to keep you away from the house for a little bit. I’ll keep you company in my apartment, I love you.” She sent the kissing emoji she always sends. I could only text back “Ilyt.”

 I was too sick and tired to write it out like I normally do. I drove around for a bit and ended up at her apartment. I knocked on her door and she opened it. She welcomed me inside and I looked at the couch. 

She had made it up as if it were a bed, she’s always so considerate. She kissed my cheek and nuzzled me. 

 “I’ll be in the kitchen cooking breakfast for tomorrow” she said softly. I laid down on the couch, covering myself in a blanket. I was haunted by nightmares and flashbacks. 

I woke up nauseous. I covered my mouth and rushed to the bathroom and puked. I got up from the couch. 

 and washed my hands and face. I went back to sleep trying to get the nightmare from my head….

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