“There, just flex your arm for me,” the nurse said brightly. Gail set her face and slowly moved her bandaged arm back and forth to the nurse’s delight. “Wonderful,” she exclaimed and scribbled something down in her chart. “No pain at all?” she asked, and Gail shook her head, irritated. “That’s good, it wasn’t a very deep cut, but we were all so worried it might have damaged your muscles.”
“But I’m fine now?” Gail asked her hopefully. “I can leave?”
“Of course,” the nurse smiled and Gail gratefully started to climb out of her bed. “But we’d like to have a physical therapist look at you first,” she added. “He’ll be in here at about noon to see you.”
“But that’s three hours away,” Gail complained, sinking back into her pillows. “Can’t I at least go see my dad in the meantime?”
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Bruce said from the doorway. Both Gail and the nurse jumped when they heard him. “The painkillers are starting to wear off and he’s in a bit of a mood.”
“Tom!” Gail said, scrambling out of bed. She flung herself at him and Bruce caught her, looking surprised. She hugged him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder. He endured it for a moment, and then slowly, awkwardly, he hugged her back. Gail pulled back, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“Someone told me the visiting hours,” he smiled back at her. “Oh, before I forget,” he said and reached inside his jacket. Brining out a small, wrapped package, he offered it to her with a bow. “For the healing madam.”
Gail laughed helplessly and quickly ripped open the wrapping. “Oh my God!” she said, staring at it, “white chocolate!” She tore open one of the bars and took a bite. “That you so much,” she smiled heavenly, drifting back to her bed.
“Still a sweet tooth,” Bruce laughed, following her. He sat down on the corner of her bed as she flopped back onto it. “I thought about flowers, but then realized what you probably were missing more,” he said. She took another bite, nodding in agreement. She mumbled something through a mouthful of chocolate, completely intelligible. “I’m sure,” he muttered, shaking his head.
“Well,” the nurse said quietly, hiding a smile, “I’ll just leave you to alone now.” She started to leave, when she paused and looked at Bruce carefully. “Excuse me, do I know you?” she asked slowly. Bruce winced and turned away slightly.
“I don’t think so,” he offered lamely. Gail smiled into her chocolate.
“Oh, I know,” the nurse said brightly. “You’re that boy from the circus attack! The one we had restrained in the other- oh!” she stopped suddenly. “Oh!” she gasped, staring at him, alarmed.
“No, it’s alright,” he told her. “I’m fine now.” He gave her a winning smile and nodded happily to prove it. She smiled back tentatively and backed up towards the door.
“Well, that’s good,” she said quietly, feeling for the doorknob behind her. “I’m glad to see your feeling better.” She found it and yanked the door open. “I guess I’ll be going now, again,” she added quickly and dashed out the door. Bruce frowned as the door slammed shut behind her.
“Do you always have to have that effect on people?” Gail asked. Bruce cocked an eyebrow at her and then rolled his shoulders, easing some muscles around.
“That’s the plan,” he said, flexing his shoulders absently. Something popped in his back as he did so and he sucked in his breath quickly. He bent and turned slightly, rubbing the small of his back with one hand. As Gail watched him, her smile faded quickly.
“Any pain?” she asked sympathetically.
“Some,” he admitted, “but nothing I can’t manage. Don’t be so worried,” he told her, catching her look, “I actually got off pretty easy. Clark winces every time he breathes and I think his vision’s still a little off, but he won’t admit it.”
“So he helped you after all. I wasn’t sure he was going to do it,” she remarked softly.
“Hmph,” Bruce breathed, looking at her sharply.
“What?” she asked, starting to smile again.
“I heard about that. Now what would make you think that Clark could possibly help me?” he asked her carefully.
Gail frowned and answered, choosing her words carefully, “I saw him fight Richie, and he seemed… strong.”
“He is… strong. Can’t say I’m glad you asked him,” Bruce said gruffly, “but…” his voice trailed off. “It didn’t turn out so bad. Not in the end.”
“What about for Richie?” Bruce’s face lost his warmth gradually, and something hard and cold seemed to fill it. Even though she’d known him for years, suddenly Gail felt confused and frightened. She didn’t know this person, she realized, whoever it was.
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“Richie made his choice,” Bruce stated, his voice lower and stronger than she’d ever heard it. It seemed too strong for Bruce’s body, it came from his mouth, but it seemed to originate from something else, something bigger. “He made his choice, and he has to live with it now. For the rest of his life.”
“What happened to him?” Gail frowned and toyed with the candy in her hands. “I heard that he was arrested, but where did they take him? It’s not like he can just go to jail or anything.”
Whatever was in Bruce faded and vanished, leaving him looking only sad and weary. “The army took him somewhere. I figured that was the best for him. You’re right, no normal prison could ever hold him. If there is a cure, I figured they’d be the ones to find it.” He sighed and then smiled at her. “Let’s not talk about though. I spoke to your dad, he says to stop bothering him, and that he’s fine.”
Gail laughed and gave him a critical look. “He would say that even if he wasn’t.” She took another bite of chocolate and savored the flavor. “I can’t wait until we get back on the road. Oh,” she said, looking up again, “the circus! Who’s going to run it now that… you know,” she trailed off.
“Your dad’s been talking with a few others and they’re going to finish out the year as best they can, running the circus together. After that,” he shrugged, “who knows. He said he might take some time out to rework the act. Not that it needs it.”
“You can always improve,” Gail said seriously and he laughed. After a moment, she joined as well. “Sorry,” she said, wiping a tear from her eyes, “I don’t know what made me say that.”
“You sounded just like your dad then, so serious.” She blushed and looked away. “It’s true,” he told her. “I know you two are going to better than ever now.” He tried to say it off-hand, gauging her reaction carefully. She froze, the chocolate halfway to her mouth. Bruce winced and said quickly, “I meant to tell you earlier, I’m not coming back with you.”
She turned away from him on the bed, staring at the wall. “Why not?”
Sighing, hating himself for saying it, but saying it nonetheless, “I’m done here. There’s nothing more that I need from your father.” She didn’t answer immediately and he went on, trying to soften the blow. “I enjoyed living with you two; it was like being part of a family again. But,” he hesitated, “I can’t live like that. There’s still a lot more that I have to learn.”
“You could learn it with us,” Gail said quietly. “You’re good, but you’re not perfect yet. You could-“
“You could teach me more,” he overrode her, “but what I need, I can’t get here.” She turned back to him, her eyes brimming with tears. As she stared at him he felt some of his shields, so carefully crafted over the years, slip and he didn’t care. Everything that he felt, but couldn’t say, was in his eyes and she saw it all. Gail breathed out, her sigh somewhere between awe and sadness. Bruce tried to speak, but his tongue seemed to be stuck in his mouth. “I can’t have a normal life,” he forced out finally. He reached out and touched her cheek fondly; the first time he had touched her like that before. “I wish I could, but…”
“Don’t say that!” she yelled, but didn’t move her face away. She grabbed his hand and pressed it to her cheek. “Whatever it is, just forget about it! Let it be someone else, please,” she breathed, starting to cry. Bruce looked at her sadly, and then leaned over and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes and tears rolled down her cheeks. Bruce gently pulled his hand away and stood up, looking down at her. For a moment, he wanted to tell her everything, but he knew she wouldn’t understand. She would sympathize, relate to it, but she could never understand. Even Clark couldn’t grasp it. What he’d told him had been true, his parents’ murder had given him focus and direction, had pointed out the truth to him, but his life had been decided long before that. They could never understand that what drives a person is not what tragedies they endure, but something greater, something that is there from the very beginning.
“We are what we are, Gail,” he said quietly. “And someday I’ll become what I have to.” He turned around and walked to the door. He paused before he left, and half-turned back. “Goodbye,” he whispered and closed the door behind him. She didn’t look up in response.
Clark was waiting by his father’s truck outside the hospital, looking slightly worse for wear. There was a nasty bruise on one side of his face and a number of small cuts on his chin. When he noticed Bruce, he ran forwards to meet him. Before he reached him however, Bruce took a pair of sunglasses out and slipped them on. “How’d it go?” Clark asked him as he neared. “How’d she take it?” Bruce ignored him at first and started walking back to the car, his hands in his jacket pockets.
“That bad, huh?” Clark asked, falling in step beside him. “How are you dealing?” he asked, eyeing Bruce carefully.
“I’ll get over it,” he remarked laconically. They were walking away from the car, but Bruce didn’t seem to care. He walked on, his face set stoically, not acknowledging Clark at all. Clark was tempted to stare through the sunglasses, but decided not to. If Bruce wanted to talk, he would; there wouldn’t be any forcing him.
“I’ve decided to take Lex up on his offer,” Bruce said finally, surprising Clark.
“What offer?” he asked, confused.
“He offered me a sizable share in his plant here, in return for some funding, he’s willing to ‘teach’ me about how to run a business,” Bruce explained, staring off in the distance.
“I guess that’s great,” Clark said slowly, not sure how he felt about Bruce staying in Smallville.
“Don’t sound so excited,” Bruce remarked, catching the tone in his voice. “It’ll only be a temporary thing, I already know how to run a business.”
“The circus teach you that to?”
“No,” he laughed, “I apprenticed myself to some of the world’s leading economists and former business moguls. All confidential of course.”
“In addition to learning karate and being an escape artist,” Clark rolled his eyes.
“Don’t forget judo, kung fu, jujitsu, ninjitsu, gymnastics, Greco-Roman wrestling, hunting, detective work…” he went on.
“Alright!” Clark said, stepping in front of him. “If you already know about it, why take Lex’s offer?”
“Because I like it here,” Bruce remarked. “It’s interesting. Things happen here that I would never find anywhere else in the world. It’s the perfect proving ground.”
“Proving ground?” Clark asked him.
“Do you know what I found out after all my studying and training?” Bruce asked. “That even with all that, I still felt as unprepared as when I first began. I’m not ready yet,” he said, a trace of bitterness in his voice. “There’s something not right, something missing. I don’t know what it is, but maybe I can find out here. That is,” he smiled, “unless you have something against me sticking around for a little while longer?”
“No, of course not,” Clark said quickly. Bruce smiled, glancing away.
“I guess I’ll have to find a room somewhere,” he muttered. “You know any good motels around here?”
“I don’t know,” Clark said reluctantly, his better half forcing it out, “you could always stay with us…”
Bruce glanced back at him, his eyebrows peaking over the rims of his sunglasses. “No thanks,” he said quietly. “As good as your mom’s food is, I wouldn’t feel right staying there.” Clark sighed inwardly in relief; he hadn’t been sure what he would have said if Bruce had accepted.
“So you’ll be working with Lex,” he remarked, mulling it over.
“Keeping an eye on him is more like it,” Bruce muttered.
“Don’t tell me you buy into to all those rumors too,” Clark complained. “You sound just like my dad.”
“Then he’s a wise man,” Bruce said. “The stories about me are all true, but only because I needed them to be. Lex did the same kind of things because he wanted to. Oh he’s cleaned himself up a lot now,” he admitted, “but frankly, that only makes me trust him even less.”
“What’s the matter with him then?”
“I don’t know,” Bruce said, looking thoughtful. “There’s no real reason for me not to like him, it’s just a gut feeling. Part of it might be that he’s desperate to get back at his father. He lives to spite him, even before he came here.”
“Yeah, Lex and his dad don’t exactly get along. But you can’t hold that against him. Lex’s dad has his own issues.”
“Hmph.” Bruce shrugged and started back to the car. “If Lex wants to go after his father, I suppose that’s his own business. But if he expects me to help, he’s in for a rude surprise. Childhood resentment isn’t enough of a motive for going up against Lionel Luther.”
“You sound almost worried,” Clark teased him.
“You obviously don’t know him,” Bruce remarked dryly. “Lionel’s ten times more heartless than Richie ever could be. I’ve heard horror stories that pale next to his corporate takeovers. His father will gut him and hang him out to dry, and it probably won’t bother him in the slightest. But,” he shrugged, “best of luck to Lex if he wants to compete with his old man. Who knows, he might even do it. Here’s hoping he actually read Nietzsche though,” he said under his breath.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, it’s just an old quote,” he explained. “ ‘Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster…’ I guess it applies to us too,” he laughed harshly.