25

Back in the tavern, he told Polly and the driver what he had found.

“So I suggest you go fix the wheel right now,” he said, “and we’ll get going straight away. We both know what’s in the stable, and that the carriage will magically be ready the second everyone’s finished dessert.”

From the kitchen, Bill called out, “No dessert on the menu.”

Mick continued, “Moreover, I’m thinking that everyone’s journey home’ll be free, and you aren’t going to pull this kind of crap again. I’ll be keeping an ear out to make sure.”

“Sir, be reasonable,” said Polly. “Half the people are already eating, and Bill’s still cooking up bream for the rest.”

“If it is bream you’re serving. Wouldn’t surprise me if you’ve lied about that, too.”

“It’s bream,” said Bill.

“Look,” said Mick, “I’m not one to see all that food go to waste. That’d just annoy me even more. So, I suppose we’ll wait until peoples’ bellies are full. But it’s only fair we all get our meals for free, considering how we ended up here, no?”

“I’m just trying to run a business.” She looked at the driver now, screwing up her face. “If this gentleman has…”

“Gentleman! That’s a laugh. Stop with the pretending. A fool could see that you two are sweet on each other. No wedding band – but then, that doesn’t prove a thing. No law in the world says you have to get married.”

“How about you eat for free?” said Polly. “You and your daughter.”

“That’s my niece.”

“You and her, free meals for the next….month.”

“Nope. Everyone who got stranded here gets their bream free of charge. And Mr. Honest here, well, you better agree that this kind of funny business won’t happen again, or I’ll report you to the Driver’s Commission. I’m sure if they get enough complaints about poor carriage maintenance, they’ll investigate. After all, like you said, the carriage did break down.”

“Just who the heck are you?” said the driver.

“Name’s Mick Mulroon. Apprentice sleuth and head of Sunhampton’s guards.”

Token text told Mick that he’d earned more experience towards his Observation, Deduction, Forensics, and Interrogation skill trees. His Interrogation tree actually got a double boost, since he’d gotten both Polly and the driver to admit to their scheme.

“Dismiss,” he said, as he reached his table.

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Zip looked up. “You don’t say ‘dismiss’ to token text, Uncle Mick. Just ask it to go in your head.”

“Oh. Righto. How did you know that?”

“Learned it at school.”

“Oh, so you do go sometimes, do you?”

Soon, their food arrived. Sitting in a warm, nicely lit tavern while the rain poured down outside, and eating an admittedly delicious plate of fried bream and grilled vegetables, Mick began to feel a little more charitable towards the Salted Cod tavern. Only a little, mind.

“What’ll happen now?” said Zip.

“What do you mean?”

“Will the tavern have to close?”

“No, course not. They’ll just have to find another way to bring in customers, that’s all.”

Zip speared a pepper with her fork. “Was it so wrong, though? I bet it’s hard to get customers out here. It was a clever scheme.”

“If they have to trick people to get here, then it’s not a viable business.”

“Aren’t all forms of advertising a trick, when you think about it?” said Zip. “Anyhow, some of these taverns have been going for years. King Khaled ordered them built.”

“Ah. Math and history, now. So you do go to school sometimes, do you?”

“You already made that joke,” said Zip, smiling.

“So I did.”

“I go when it interests me. It just…hardly ever does. I don’t mean for it to be boring. But the war with the Right and True was alright. ‘Specially when you think how much of our lives today it decided. Like this tavern. It’s part of history.”

“Well, what do you want from me, Zip? I can hardly just pretend it’s not happening. Look at that guy over there. The one in the suit. He’s late for his son’s play. Not really fair on him getting waylaid here, is it?”

“I guess. I just feel bad for the tavernlady. Can’t be easy, is all.”

Mick pondered it while he cleared his plate. None of the sleuth or inspector books he’d read prepared him for something like this, where no law was actually being broken, yet something wrong was going on all the same. Looked at objectively, the wagon really had broken down. The commuters could have walked back to Sunhampton if they wanted. Would have taken two or three hours, but it was possible. They didn’t have to enter the Salted Cod. Moreover, they weren’t even forced to buy anything once they were here.

A part of him agreed with Zip, too. He did feel sort of bad for Polly and her kids. A family business, one presumably running for generations? You had to admire that.

“Listen, I’ll have a word with Polly,” he told Zip. “Few months back, someone shoplifted a bunch of vases from Paisley Porter’s store, and I caught ‘em. She owes me a favor. Could be that she’ll take a carriage out here and have a word with Polly. See if she can use her merchant class abilities to help her change things, see if maybe they can make a bit more honest coin.”

Their talk drifted onto other plains after that. With his mood lightened by the delicious food, Mick was happy to drop the matter of Zip’s truancy until they got home. Instead, he asked her about what was going on in her life. About her friends, the stuff they got up to. Turned out one of their hobbies was stopping by the office of Jester Hugill, the accountant who worked on Coiner’s Way. Apparently he fancied himself as a dab hand in Fancy Dice, and Zip and the others could rely on winning a coin or two from him.

“Gambling’s for mugs,” said Mick.

“Only if you lose.”

A bargirl came to collect plates from everyone, stacking them ten plates high on each arm. Mick wondered how she did it. It was almost like a circus act. After that, the driver told everyone to drink up, because the carriage was fixed and it was time to go.

“Thanks for dinner,” Zip told Mick.

“Anytime. Enjoyed it. You know, situation excepted.”

“About today, the whole thing with school, and me stealing fried potatoes…”

“Zip. We’ve been over this. I can’t let it slide.”

“Just let me tell mother, okay? I’ll do it straight away. Tonight. You see if I don’t. But please let me do it.”

“You’ll do it as soon as we get back, while I’m there?”

Zip nodded. “I will.” She hugged him. “Thank you, Uncle Mick.”