“Isekai protagonist number five-hundred-ninety-three-thousand-ninety-nine? Would the isekai protagonist number-five-hundred-ninety-three-thousand-ninety-nine, please proceed to reincarnation terminal six-C.” Tifael sighed, scanning the white hallways. He is late.

“That’s me!” Running footsteps. A twenty-year-old boy hurried up to the gate she manned, panting.

Tifael suppressed her frown out of sheer professionalism. “I must apologize. A staff member would have guided you here under normal circumstances.”

“Fret not. The fault is entirely mine. You know us humans, we’re occasionally a little slow on the uptake.” The boy bonked his head, his tongue stuck out. “Such is the limitation of a primate brain.”

Tifael simply nodded, and extended her hand. “Your ticket, please.”

“Here you go.” The man handed her a shard of divine energy.

“Thank you.” Tifael inspected the address and a list of divine boons the boy’s guidance deity had given him. She raised a brow. Eithuriel had granted this boy more powers and abilities than thousand regular protagonists put together. Odd, but entirely within his jurisdiction. Perhaps he wished to send the last one off with a bang, as they say. A sentiment she could sympathize with.

Tifael inserted the ticket to a reincarnation gate and motioned the boy to step in. “Please stand in the center, with arms to your sides. You may feel as if your body is disintegrated on a molecular level. This is perfectly normal. When you die again, your soul will belong to local deities, so I advise you to make the most out of your new life.”

“Understood.” The boy saluted and made an odd pose. “This human understands.”

“Oh, do wait a moment.” Tifael’s lips twisted with doubt as she reached into her breast pocket. This was not entirely professional conduct, but what the heck. You only live once. She couldn’t let Eithuriel outdo her.

“Here.” She handed the boy a mint lollipop. “A little something to remember us by.”

The boy’s eyes drew wide. Tifael gave herself a mental high-five. She knew it. Humans still loved lollipops.

“Thank you…” the boy said, staring at her gift.

“You are very welcome. And now, have a good life.” Tifael pulled a lever.

Reincarnation gate hummed to life, filling the lobby with light. The boy’s temporary body dissolved as his soul began to teleport across dimensions. One last smile lifted his lips in a familiar expression.

“Farewell, Tifael.”

Tifael blinked. “How did you know my…”

Light flashed and he was gone.

“Huh?” She shrugged and turned the gate off.

Who could have imagined the last reincarnation from Earth would be such an odd fellow. Well. That’s it. Time to close shop. A twinge of nostalgia stirred Tifael’s soul as she strode past the empty rows of seats of reincarnation terminals. From pre-antiquity to space-age, she had watched countless noble souls pass by these halls. Now they echoed with the clink of her heels.

She found Eithuriel in his office, staring out of a window with a frozen expression. Outside, leftover shards of Earth floated amongst cosmic energies of the broken universe.

Around one such shard, two bolts of energy danced in a dogfight of city sized explosions and reality bending techniques. One was a near deity-realm cultivator. The other looked to be an almost deity-tier wizard, though the man also utilized several [System] skills.

What had Eithuriel so entranced in their bout? Tifael took a closer look.

[God’s Eye]

Invisible energies flashed painted Tifael’s vision with palettes outside the spectrum of light. Mana, Qi, and fate itself unfurled before her eyes. Still she could not spot anything spectacular about the two combatants. Oh, but what was that ball they were competing over?

Between the fighters floated an archaic gaming console trapped in a force field. The humans were battling over an ancient video game. Tifael pulled back. Earthlings, huh. Weirdest humans of the multiverse. She was going to miss working with them.

“Eithuriel,” said Tifa softly.

He continued to stare out the window, muttering.

Tifael cleared her voice. “Eithuriel.”

No response.

She raised her voice to the upper limits allowed by professional etiquette. “EITHURIEL.”

“Jesus!” Startled, he nearly fell over.

“Jesus hasn’t worked here for thousands of years. Come on, Eithuriel. Representatives of Overgod council will be here within a solar year. We best make sure the place is in tip-top shape before their arrival.”

Eithuriel stared at her in shock, then at his hands, then again at her. He pinched his cheeks and inspected his hair. With a dramatic groan, Eithuriel collapsed into his chair, his expression one of utter befuddlement.

“Is everything alright?” Tifael asked.

Eithuriel looked up, then continued to pinch his cheek. “Yeah. Mind giving me a moment? I need to… process.”

“Absolutely.” Tifael took her leave. “I’ll begin cleaning from the staff lounge.”

***

My waking up was like getting shot by a clip of twists from a machine gun, then getting the bayonet for good measure.

I learned I had died a day before Earth underwent a wombo-combo of apocalypses. System hit us first with skills, rifts, and towers. Then came a group of space wizards, followed by cultivators from a constellation of magical chinaworlds. After those three, other weirdoes kept popping up until the Earth and universe called it quits. During the aforementioned apocalypse, I was a soul-popsicle frozen in time.

Finally, today I got thawed by this gentleman in a perfect white suit telling me I was going to reincarnate a fantasy world. Pretty neat.

He gave me some cheat abilities, and by some I mean more skills than truck-kun can carry, magical knowledge, and even a cultivation base. OP doesn’t begin to describe the monster I had become. Naturally, I was stoked.

Peaceful isekai paradise, heck yeah. Here we go! That’s how I cheered.

Mid-jubilation, the bastard possessed my body and took my isekai ticket.

By the way, having your soul stuffed into the body of a deity is not fun. Within the span of a millisecond, I gained three new senses, my old ones were magnified hundred fold. Combine that with thousands of years of a god’s leftover memory scramble. My brain tapped out.

All those cheat abilities from before? Yup. The guy took ‘em all. All he left me with was his body, which, while technically that of a lesser deity, was a glorified divine energy battery.

While spasming on the floor, the worst part of my new predicament smacked me in the face. The reason behind Eithruiel’s switch lay crumbled under the table.

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A message from the Overgod Council. Lesser deities of Isekai Incorporated were to submit to what essentially amounted to the divine version of a call service job to troubleshoot mortal’s issues. Salary amounted to the honor of furthering the great cause, pizza Fridays, and the joy of belonging to the ‘big divine family’.

Now, I’m sure their cause is a fantastic one. I, however, was twenty and decidedly not ready to adopt someone else’s responsibilities. And that’s if they even allowed me to fill the original Eithuriel’s position. As a lesser deity robbed of all abilities, I was looking at an eternity of being milked for my deity juice.

I wasn’t about to bend over and let a divine metaphor for a megacorporation enslave me.

No sir.

One way or another, I was going to have my second life in a peaceful paradise.

After somehow managing to give the slip to the white angel lady, Tifael, I consolidated a plan. Fragmented though they were, Eithuriel’s leftover memories helped me loot his office of everything valuable. I picked the second best option for evading Overgod Council from the hundred plans he had concocted.

Utilizing every trick of concealment and subterfuge in my possession, I snuck out and headed for the furthest place Eithuriel knew. The place Overgod Council was least likely to come looking for me.

***

Gotta give it to old Eith. For a moralless little turd, he had an awesome plan-B.

The Crystal Archipelago of Voidwilds was a pretty normal countryside, all things considered, except for the floating islands and big crystals embedded in cliffs and rocks. It was both idyllic and breathtakingly fantastical. Plus, the fauna and flora were similar to Earth’s, so I doubted I would feel homesick too often.

After some hours of wandering, I had trouble deciding which island to claim as my home. One of my favorites was a mossy spruce forest oozing ancient vibes. Another had a rocky little lake with some pines. Third had a flowery meadow with thickets. In the end, I ended up spending a couple of days to rope them together with some sturdy roots. Considering the Crystal Archipelago had two villages across thousands of uninhabited islands, nobody was going to complain if I rearranged some of them.

I would probably eventually add other islets to it, if I came across fun ones that nobody else is using. For now, this would do as my little heaven.

After my first labor, I rolled a nice blocky rock to the edge and relished a cup of coffee while watching the otherworldly horizon dotted by stars and celestial bodies. Owls hooted in my woods. The meadow rustled. Air tasted of nature and adventure. I drew a deep breath and let my body settle.

I felt... free.

Free of Eithuriel’s cursed legacy.

Free of expectations I’d had in my mortal life.

Free of the need to make something of myself. I was already a lesser deity. My body was superhuman. My lifespan endless. If I wanted to climb in power, I would need to dedicate centuries, possibly thousands of years of my life to cultivating followers or battling other deities for their powers. So why bother?

I felt at peace.

My next endeavour would be to build a shelter.

I gathered perfectly blocky rocks to the center of the three islands, and piled them in various ways, toiling day and night, until sweat drenched the traveling clothes I’d bought.

First attempt went pretty well for being a first time attempt. I’ve got no excuse for the other twenty. Though, I will say that it was a fun learning experience.

While I had always pined after rustic country-life, I wasn’t a country boy. You tend to think that watching a single youtube video on cabin construction gives you all you need until the time comes to apply it in practise. I’ll straight up admit that I had no idea how to begin to make cement or lime to glue rocks together, or how to make a cabin. All this was new to me. My appreciation for workmen and people of the past soared.

Most of my creations got dismantled, though I did leave a small shelter up. Two vertical slabs holding up a roof. Some rock towers surrounded it. It looked kinda neat.

I ended up moving my sleeping bag to a small cavern and furnished it with crude log tables and stump-chairs. Oh, there was one big win I had! Lesser deity’s raw strength allowed me to carve wood with my thumbnail, so I had a collection of funky spoons, lopsided cups, and uneven plates.

It was all temporary, The abode and furniture. But it was mine. My abode. My furniture. Gotta say, it felt damn satisfying to step back and realize for real that this place was mine and I could do anything I pleased.

***

Golden hour kissed the world. I sat on a cliff-side rock, figuring out my next move, while trying my luck at catching some of the glowy fish that came out at night. Translucent manta-rays flew in the distance. Schools of ghostly fish danced around tiny floating rocks.

So far, I had caught one fish. It sizzled happily in a campfire, tempting me with a juicy, fatty scent. Without noticing it, I’d burned through a week of supplies since my arrival. Though I wasn’t sure if a divine body even required food, I had begun rationing what I had left, supplementing them with berries, nuts, and, most recently, magic fish.

There was still a lot to do to make the place livable.

House was a priority. While my body seemed to be fine after skipping several nights of sleep, sleep felt nice. I like sleeping. Who doesn’t? Psychopaths, probably.

My plans included trying out some farming, at some point, maybe. Alternatively, I’d need to figure out some other way to get a sustainable income. Perhaps I’d forage the floating islands and look for stuff to trade. A little adventure here and there would be good for the soul.

Making a trading trip to my neighbouring settlements was another high priority. I needed more supplies and help with house building.

To do list seemed endless, though not in an exhausting way. Things could always wait another day. I could take life at my own pace, relish at the gradual progress of bettering my condition. Hopefully, with friends.

“Dao of heavens, I curse you a thousand times as you have cursed this Hu Ha!” cried a frustrated voice.

Downhill from my fishing spot, a scrawny young teenage boy in black shawls banged his fists at my little stone shelter. Rocks rumbled as one of my more precariously balanced stone piles collapsed. The boy cursed again, this time kissing his tender knuckles.

“Outer Gods! Beings of the Void! Hear this Hu Ha! I’ve renounced Dao! I will trade my soul if you grant this meager wish to be released from his curse. Thus swears this Hu Ha!” The boy kowtowed thrice towards my little hut.

Crap. Were there outer gods in the Void?

“Oi! Stop praying to the Void,” I shouted. Like Hell was I going to let some nutty cultivation kid lure Cthulhu to my lawn and ruin a good thing before it got good.

Hu Ha froze with his face to the ground. He began shivering.

My senses began to pick up things about the boy. Though I had no Qi or magic myself, I could see the faint outlines of their flow. Hu Ha’s dantian was a shriveled void devouring itself, his joints had arthritis, his muscles had atrophied, and he had a budding heart condition. One boy had the full crippled protagonist package. Just living had to be unimaginable pain. Heck, even watching him hurt.

There wasn’t much I could do, but from what remained of Eithuriel’s memories, I knew cultivation had the potential to fix all mortal physical ailments and defects. I picked up my grilled ghost-fish. I didn’t have Qi, but I did have divine energy. In certain ways, it was more limited than Qi or mana or skill-points. It could only act according to a deity’s portfolio or domains, which for me meant it did nothing. Almost nothing. It could change into other energies. Since Eithuriel took the skills with him, I had to improvise using an incredibly inefficient and untested transformation method.

I squeezed a small droplet of my divinity, turned it to Qi, and slathered it over the grilled fish. Ghostly white turned neon-blue. I hoped it remained edible. It wouldn’t heal whatever was wrong with Hu Ha’s dantian, but he could sustain cultivation on the extra Qi for a while.

“Eat this and cultivate!” I tossed the grilled Qi-filled fish before the kid.

He raised his head, eyes sparkling with awe. “The Void answered…”

“Not the Void,” I snorted. “Just me.”

Hu Ha looked at me, eyes widening.

I raised my hand and waved my fingers. “Hello.”

“This one gives a thousand thanks! This Hu Ha will strive to be worthy of your benevolence!” Hu Ha faced me with frankly embarrassing determination, his head still bowed. Now I kinda wish I’d seen the first meeting between these cultivation folk and earthlings. Must’ve been a hilarious culture clash. Hmm, wonder if anyone wrote a guide to how to interact with cultivators?

“Eh.” I waved my hand. “It’s no biggie. Void is full of fishies, and I’ve got time.”

“This one asks to know if there is any way to repay the gift.”

“Hmm.” I tilted my head in thought. Would’ve been embarrassing to ask for supplies or help. I could earn those myself fair and square. “Well, you could visit again. Maybe bring other people with you. I just moved in and I’d love to get to know my neighbors.”

“This will be done.” Thrice again, the boy kowtowed, before hobbling off with his walking aid.

Poor guy. Kinda regret what I said about his protagonist condition. That stuff is not funny when it’s real.

When a fish bit my bait, I realized I’d forgotten to introduce myself. Oh well. He would come back. We can clear up any misunderstandings then. I wasn’t going to be open about my divinity, but besides that, I had no plans of pretending to be someone I’m not.

“Yesh.” I pulled in my second ghostfish. “Come here delicious!”

***

Hu Ha, the son of Ha Shin heaved laborious breaths as he fled the mysterious stone shrine. In his hour of folly, he had dared to glance a glimpse of the source of that heavenly voice and witnessed the divine.

At the top of the hill had sat a man-shaped silhouette surrounded by a halo of blinding golden light. He radiated strange confidence and power. This being had conversed with Hu Ha. Listened to his prayer, and accepted his soul in exchange for granting him a boon.

And what a boon? Purest Qi positively crackled beneath the palefin wraithfish. This fish. Nay, this treasure contained more Qi than ten immortal realm pills.

To think that he, Hu Ha, a mere first stage mortal realm cultivator cursed by heavens could have received this! Such an unthinkably fortuitous encounter!

Hu Ha set his walking aid down to climb the floating steps towards home. This morning he had left home with great shame, tears on his cheeks, his heart determined to beseech the powers of the Void. He would’ve been content to sell his soul to a lesser outsider. Who would have thought that he would come across a benevolent deity?