CHAPTER 23: TWENTY THREE

Something is seriously seriously wrong with me.

Not only was I in love with someone I wasn't supposed to and while I was commited to someone else

But I had just agreed to go with that someone else to the lake for the weekend.

Yes. I am a horrible person.

"Aaaannnd this is exactly why I am NOT in a relationship" Mitch bragged over the phone. Mitch had

gone away to school a few days ago, as well as Claire and Kenzie, while I was locked up in my room

the whole day with two piles of clothes segregated into "college" and "lake".

"Dude, you were dating Justin's friend a few months before graduation" I stated as I folded a top and

thought of which pile I was gonna put it.

"Okay one, I think you've mistaken me with Claire and Kenzie, and two, we were benefits" Mitch said

"Friends with benefits, you mean" I said as I threw said item of clothing onto the college pile.

"No. Just benefits. We didn't really know anything about each other aside from our names, and how to

get each other off" Mitch said, making me laugh.

"You're such a slut" I said in between laughs

"And you weren't?" Mitch stated "Dude just break up with Justin and be with your hot stepbrother

already because seriously, you are stressing me the fuck out with this love problem of yours"

My eyes grew wide. I didn't want Luke—while conveniently playing really loud music in his room—to

hear me talk about how I was really feeling about him.

I mean, to be fair, he knows how much I liked sleeping with him.

But feelings? Now that's a whole new level of embarrassing.

"Keep it down would ya? You do know his room is literally next to mine?" I told Mitch, who just rolled

her eyes "It's not that simple. You know that"

"Ohhh right. That's why you're currently packing for your weekend getaway with the guy you're dating,

instead of spending that time banging your stepbro before he leaves for god knows how long" Mitch

stated.

Damn, I haven't even thought about that.

Well, not the part about me spending Luke's last day sleeping with him, but the part about him leaving

tomorrow.

Yep. That's right. To-fucking-morrow.

And to make matters worse, we haven't made up yet.

I mean I wouldn't consider what happened a few days ago a fight, but still.

The guy's been avoiding me like the plaque.

Not even a confrontation could make him tell me what was going on.

"Yeah, well as much as I wanna hang out with him, minus the hooking up part, I told you he's been

avoiding me like the plaque" I said

"Ahhh. Right. The guy you're in love with is avoiding you" Mitch said "Have you even entertained the

thought that he's avoiding you because he's also in love with you?"

I stopped.

I mean, I've thought about it, I just didn't wanna think about that possibility.

But hearing someone else confirm what I've been thinking was suddenly making me feel...some type of

ways.

It was making my situation even more difficult to cope with.

"Luke? In love with me? Get your head out of your ass Mitch. The guy's a fuckboy" I said "Why would

he be in love with someone he met at a bar AND had a one night stand with AND become stepsibs with

benefits?"

Mitch simply shrugged

"You tell me. I'm not Luke. Nor Justin. I don't love you like that." Mitch said before bursting into fits of

laughter "Damn you are a lost cause in complete denial"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, but Mitch wouldn't stop laughing

"Nothing. I gotta go. Goodluck!" Mitch said, and before I could press on any further as to what she

meant, she hung up.

I turned to look at the two piles of clothes on my floor.

Clearly, the college pile was bigger than the lake pile (considering that I was only gonna be at the lake

for a few days).

I sighed and decided to take a break from packing and go down to get some snacks.

Who cares if I was gonna go to Justin's lake house tonight and I was still not close to being half done?

I'll skinny dip on the lake for all I care.

As I passed by Luke's room while munching on some chips I got from the kitchen, I noticed that his

loud music had stopped.

I paused in front of his door for a while.

I really really REALLY needed to talk to him.

Not even about how I was feeling for him. I just wanted to talk to him because talking to him makes my

day apparently.

And I've been emotionally dead these past weeks.

"Luke?" I said in a low voice as I knocked at his door. It took a couple of seconds before he opened his

door so slightly that you could only see half of his face.

"What?" He asked, a bit irritated, catching me off guard. "Sorry. What..what is it? I still gotta pack a lot

of stuff"

"I...." love you, miss you, need you

Before I could say, however, what I was gonna say, something—or rather, someone, interrupted.

"Ready for another round?" Luke turned around, giving me a chance to peek inside his room.

And sure enough, some blonde bimbo was standing there with a towel wrapped around her tiny body,

obviously she had just finished showering.

In my almost 18 years of existence, the closest thing to physical assault I had received was when I was

six or seven, and I had just recently learned how to ride a skateboard.

Some kids learned how to ride a bike, I learned how to ride a skateboard.

Growing up, I had been a bit boyish.

My mom had a friend who loved me very much and treated me like her daughter because all her kids

were boys, who were a bit older than me. They were the ones who taught me how to use a skateboard.

So anyways, one day, I was playing with the skateboard down the road when I ended up in a road

going down.

To make matters worse, as I was sliding down the road, a car was heading up.

And the only thing that could keep me from getting hit by the car was if I stopped the board using my owns © this.

legs.

And I did. And that's how I ended up with a huge bruise on my leg.

I mean, the scar's faded, but it was definitely the closest thing to being physically hurt that I've gotten.

Sure I've had more scratches here and there, but it wasn't anything as traumatic as that skateboard

incident.

Then a couple of years after that, my mom dated this guy. And this guy was absolutely the best.

Growing up without a dad, this guy actually made me feel like I was part of a complete family.

Don't get me wrong, Dave's amazing, but this other guy, he literally became my dad.

So you could only imagine how much it hurt me when he and my mom broke up. It was like witnessing

your parents get a divorce or something.

I still keep in touch with him tho. But when he left, I was devastated.

Then come high school.

Yes, this is going to be the cliche back story of why I became a huge slut who slept around during

weekends.

I'm not gonna bore you with details, but yes, it was because a guy who I was mad in love with, broke

my heart.

Those are the top three things that devastated me the most.

But when I saw the half-naked newly showered bimbo standing in the middle of Luke's room, all of a

sudden, the three painfully devastating events that happened to me before were suddenly nothing

compared to how I was feeling right now.

Seeing Luke sleeping with someone else gave me closure. The closure I needed.

That not only was he not in love with me, but also it explained why he was playing really really really

loud music earlier. To muffle the said bimbo's moans most probably.

I stood frozen for a while before snapping back to reality and just walking back to my room. I think I

faintly heard Luke call my name for a sec before I closed my door and before he was dragged back to

his version of heaven.

I slumped down the floor upon closing the door and cried my eyes out as quietly as possible, before

hearing the music blare loudly through Luke's speakers again.

I don't expect him to get hints about my feelings for him, but dammit! Was he really that insensitive?

I had to get out of there. I just had to.

"Hey. You done packing? I can't wait to see you later and have you all to myself tonight" Justin said

upon answering my call.

"Could you meet me right now?" I hurriedly said as I walked down the stairs.

"Uhh sure. Where at?" Justin asked, completely confused. "Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No, just... meet me." I said "By the park, near school"

"O..okay. See you" Justin said before I hung up and began walking.

I was supposed to meet Justin tonight and we were supposed to head to his parents' lake house for the

weekend.

I was supposed to get laid tonight and tomorrow, and the next day.

But change of plans.

I got to the park 20 minutes later as the sun was setting.

I wouldn't be surprised if Justin got there before me, considering that I had taken a lot of detours before

actually heading to the park.

And thank god there weren't people anymore.

Okay that was a lie. There were probably a couple of people here and there, but not enough that you'd

think it was a Sunday morning and the mayor was hosting the annual family day.

I'm guessing it rained a bit earlier, considering that the sky was slightly gray and the concrete benches

were damp, so I resorted to waiting for Justin, who weirdly enough isn't here yet, by the swings which I

wiped off with the hanky I conveniently had in my pocket. (Which, I'm not gonna lie, is currently filled

with snot and tears from the 20 minute walk I took from my house to here)

I'm not sure how long I was just sitting alone at the swing like a creepy teenager ready to sell kids

some crack, but Justin soon found me. He began running over to me, and seeing that he was already

panting made me realise that he had probably parked his car at the school parking lot, which was a

good 5 minute walk to where I was.

"I was walking around the park looking for you" Justin said while gasping for air. "So what's up?"

I just looked at him, unsure as to how I was gonna break it to him.

"Wait, have you been crying? What happened?" He asked before moving closer to me to wipe the tear

stains off my cheek.

"Justin I..." I began "I wanna break up"

The worried look on Justin's face was now replaced with a shocked look, then a confused look, then a

hurt one. Basically, his face was now a canvass of mixed emotions.

"Wh-what?" He asked

"I wanna break up Justin"