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Sleeping Through the Apocalypse
Chapter 4: Red Carpet

Chapter 4: Red Carpet

The goblins had found me. In hindsight, I really should have seen it coming. There was a thick trail of my blood leading to my door from my first kill, and I’m pretty sure my door was the only one with papers and writing on it. As soon as morning came, they were at my door, but it’s not like I could have done things differently. I didn’t have a steam vacuum to remove stains, and I’m reasonably sure the beasts might have noticed me vacuuming the hallway even if I had one.

I watched the four goblins shuffle around, and they nervously stared at my door. Every apartment in the building had a small camera mounted in the door frame and a video display on the intercom inside. Generally, it only activated when someone rang the doorbell or toggled the intercom, but I could turn it on manually as well. Three had clubs, two of which were broken wooden furniture legs, and the third had a hammer. The fourth, of course, had another kitchen knife.

The knife-wielder had to be my first target. I absolutely did not want to get stabbed again, although that hammer could do some serious damage if those beasts had any strength at all. Choosing a priority target was pointless until I figured out how to surprise them. Their focus was entirely on the door, and none of them looked the slightest bit drowsy. I could charge them, but my front door opened inwards, which meant I had to pull it back before charging rather than bursting straight out.

I didn’t want a fair fight. I didn’t want to get hurt again, but I couldn’t get around the fact that the moment I opened that door, the beasts would be ready. I would be trapped in here until I starved unless I dealt with this. They were guarding my door, but they were only guarding my door. I grabbed my new wrench and walked back to my living room. I raised the improvised metal club over my shoulder and slammed it into the wall like a baseball bat. It punched right through the drywall and insulation until it hit a metal stud in the wall and painfully jarred my arm. I realized a batter’s swing wasn’t the best way to do it.

It didn’t take long until I had cleared a hole through to the old woman’s apartment next door. The studs were 16” apart, so just knocking out the space between one allowed me to slip through. The apartment was selectively in chaos. The bedroom, closet, and pantry had been ransacked, but the living area was almost undisturbed. The goblins hadn’t broken through the door, so I could only assume this was the work of the old woman who lived here. I walked to the door, but I realized this room wasn’t going to work. The old woman had armed the security system before she left. Unless I wanted to alert everything in the building to my presence here, and not sleep until I found every siren and tore them out of the wall, I needed to try another room.

I broke through into the next apartment and found it was empty, aside from the stock furniture. Whoever lived here had moved out before the apocalypse, the lucky bastards, and the room had been cleaned and looked just like the pictures in the brochure. Well, I hoped they were lucky. I hoped that outside of this city, there were places not swarming with monsters. I especially hoped that there were places without dragons.

There were some large military bases down south. They might have held out, and the army and marines had stopped the monsters from taking over the cities. Maybe they would come to retake San Francisco. Could a squadron of F-25’s take down a dragon? Could the artillery on a ship? Was the whole world a warzone? Was it just cities that were under attack? Were the suburban and rural areas safe? Had everyone fled? Did they simply vanish? Or were they all slaughtered?

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I sunk to the floor and shuddered as I realized I didn’t even know if any other humans were still alive. I assumed there had to be people like me, isolated and hidden, but were there any large groups still alive? Was anywhere safe? I panicked, but no matter how long I sat there, I knew the goblins weren’t going anywhere. I was stuck here and now. I had no way of contacting anyone. I pulled myself together and checked the door. It must have been left open for potential residents to tour because the alarm was disabled.

I pulled the door wide open with a slight squeak and hid behind the door. There was absolute silence for a few seconds, and then I heard muttering. The muttering turned into arguing, and then I heard shoving and angry grunts before silence returned. I closed my eyes and focused my entire mind on listening. After a minute, I heard slow, soft, and shuffling steps. It sounded as if there were two distinct patterns- “Ding~!”

Skill Unlocked: Detection (Perception Skill) Pay attention to the world around you. You never know what might be skulking in the shadows. Increases the chance of detecting enemies by %1 per level. Current level: (1)

I almost shouted in surprise. These damn windows always had the absolute worst possible timing. I swiped it away and prayed I hadn’t shifted or made enough noise to alert the beasts. I gripped the wrench in my hand so tightly that my knuckles went white. I needed to calm down. I needed to focus- “Ding~!”

Skill Unlocked: Stealth (Agility Skill) Remain hidden and avoid detection. Improves chances of avoiding notice by %1 per level. Current level: (1)

My heart couldn’t bear much more of this. The new skills were lovely. I simply wished they could wait until I finished murdering these goblins.

I heard the soft shuffle of bare feet on carpet again, and it was much closer this time. I waited. I heard them so close I was sure they were just on the other side of the door, and still, I waited. I saw the two guards through the crack between the open door and frame made by the hinge as they shuffled into the doorway. They looked terrified. It seemed my attacks had made an impression on the little beasts. Still, I waited. I saw the first one enter the apartment, and as soon as the second one cleared the door, I slammed it shut and lunged at the closest one.

My pipe wrench crushed the skull of the closest goblin before it could even begin to react. The second one turned and started scrambling and screeching towards the door, but it would take time for its friends to break through the door. That was time this little beast didn’t have. I swung my bloody wrench, but the creature dove to the side. It was a quick little bastard. It smacked my side with its improvised wooden club, but before it could retreat or strike again, my wrench slammed into its arm and crushed it against its side. The goblin shuddered and gasped for air. Its arm was bent as if it had a second elbow in the middle of its bicep, and there was a dent in the goblin’s ribs that meant many had been broken or shattered. It looked at me with those same terrified eyes that my other victims had, and I put it out of its misery.

Skill Improved: Sneak Attack Sneak Attack has reached level 3