It was going to be a terrible day. Someone was coming in from Sacramento, and I don’t think anything

upsets my master more than one of them poking around and asking silly questions. They usually don’t

find too much to complain about, but it makes him nervous. We were all healthy, growing well and

strong. Their pens were clean, spotless, in fact. All of the other dogs were not sure why, but they, too, could

feel the raw edge of emotion that lingered in the air. One of them whined softly in his cage, pacing to and

fro before plopping down with a thump. I did not pace but lay silently, only my eyes betraying my

nervousness as they traveled around the room.

The room contained stainless steel tables and racks filled with test equipment. I didn’t normally have to

stay in my cage like the others, but today, as I said before, was special. Josh wore his white lab coat and a

tie. He rocked back and forth, his balance shifting slowly from toe to heel and back again as he listened to

the woman with the intriguing perfume and the husky low voice.

“I know you have made cuts, Dr. Martin,” she said apologetically, “but the budget is a mess and we have

no choice”

“Donna, you know that these animals show far more promise than anything we have tried before,” he

replied, a small sliver of anger creeping into his voice.

“Some progress has been made,” she admitted, “Save your research materials and publish. You can

always start where you left off when discretionary funds for things like this become available again.”

Josh crossed his arms and remained silent. I could tell he was counting to ten. I thought he was going to

raise his voice, but when it finally came out, it was almost a whisper.

“Let me show you something”

He walked to the side of the room that held the wire cages and turned down my row, stopping directly in

front of me and bent down. His body blocked the harsh fluorescent lamps above. I could hear the click of

high heels as the woman followed.

“This is Joan,” he said, opening the clasp on the cage door and pulling back the wire mesh. I stepped out

onto the cold tile floor and into the light.

I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just stood there and tried to wag my tail. I have never been able to do that

well. The enhancements the human scientists had made to my brain had also served to remove that

primitive reflex. I had found, though, that people expected it. When a dog doesn’t wag, people assume she is

unfriendly and might bite them. Since I had only been able to accomplish a couple of feeble swings, I did

the next best thing and licked her hand. It tasted like the inside of a purse.

“What a beautiful girl you are,” the woman crooned, “Yellow Labrador?”

“That’s right,” Josh replied. “One of the smartest breeds to begin with... and now...” he trailed off.

Turning his attention from the woman, he knelt and put one hand on my head.

“Joan,” he said softly, “I would like you to help me convince this nice lady here that what we are doing

here is important.”

“I whele do mah bhest Yosh” I huffed, the airy sound of my barkspeak sounding strange even to myself.

The woman made a strangled cry and stepped backward too far. Her outswung arm and then her

shoulder crashed into the cages bringing forth a deafening chorus of cries, barks, and howls from the

frightened occupants within. The smell of their fear, mixed with hers, flooded the room. She turned and

fled, leaving behind a single stiletto heel. I picked it up and carried it gently as I followed Josh after her

and out of the room.

We caught up with her at one of the security doors, pulling frantically on the unyielding handle. Her

surprise and fear turned to anger as she whirled about.

“I ...I... should have been informed about this!” she stammered as a red flush began to replace the white

of fear. Standing on one shoe, her torn stocking bunched up and hanging at the base of her foot, an inch off the floor, she looked rather ridiculous. I dropped the shoe where she could pull it toward

her with her toe and tried to wag again. I was pleased to see no drool on it. She eyed me suspiciously.

“What does it really understand?” she finally managed to whisper.

Josh had been standing silently with an amused smile on his face, but I could still smell his anxiety.

“Quite a lot, actually,” He replied softly. “I’d like you to get to know Joan a little. Would you be willing

to give us a little more of your time?” She looked back toward me, and I finally managed to get a couple

of synchronized tail movements together. That must have finally done the trick because she nodded

slowly and gave a little affirming grunt. I nosed the shoe toward her again, and she bent down to slip it

back on. Her eyes remained locked on mine until she stood again, assuming her business-like demeanor.

“Where to?” She demanded briskly. I turned and led the way down the hall, my toenails clicking softly on

the white tile. This should prove to be interesting.

I wanted my mouth helper since I figured I would have to answer many questions. I turned right at the

corner instead of left into the lab and pawed at Jimmy’s door. Jimmy was surprised to see me but opened

the door. He was even more surprised when he looked up and saw Josh and an unexpected female visitor

turn the corner and come up behind me. His eyes betrayed the questions he wanted to blurt out, but a look

from Josh stopped him cold.

“Mmowf pwees,” I huffed, surprising Jimmy even more, if that were possible. Another look from Josh

and Jimmy turned and disappeared into the room, reappearing in a few moments with an elongated

opaque white plastic device shaped suspiciously like the underside of my jaw. He attached it as usual,

placing the back of it under my collar, and flipped the small toggle switch.

Jimmy is a bonafide genius, even for a human. He has a couple of engineering degrees from Cal Poly

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

San Luis Obispo. He had fashioned this ”mouth” for me using a combination of touch-sensitive pads and

microphones. It helped me compensate for shortcomings I found rather annoying about canine lips.

With it, I could use my strong jaw muscles and subvocalization to cause the plastic “mouth” to

create an approximation of human speech. The synthesized voice came out of a small speaker located at

the base of my collar. I liked that it was female. Jimmy had fed recordings of the voice of one of his old

girlfriends into a computer for the basic sounds and timbre, letting a synthesizer fill in the gaps. He had

also said she was hot, but that just sounded uncomfortable to me. You humans don’t appreciate how

warm we can get covered with fur and lacking sweat glands.

“Where to boss?” I asked, looking at Josh. “What do you have in mind?”

The woman looked back and forth between us, her face filled with questions. Josh smiled and surprised

me

“Let’s go outside,” he said. I felt myself getting excited. Jimmy raised his eyebrows.

“You sure, boss?” I gave him one last chance. “I might not be able to control myself”

“You will do just fine,” he replied. “I think we all need some fresh air”

Josh led the way down the hall, stopping only to slide his security card through the slots in several doors.

They clicked as he pulled them open. I could smell fresh-cut grass and began to hear the sound of muffled

conversation in the lobby as we made our way down the hall toward the large glass front doors of the

facility. Our receptionist, Amanda, looked up from her telephone conversation with a startled little jerk

as she saw us heading for the doors. Josh waved her off and pushed outward into the sunshine.

I felt giddy. The sensory overload was something I had tried to become used to, but it always took me a

while. Since I was still trying to make a good first impression, I forced myself to fall into line behind

Josh and the woman as they headed for a bench under a large tree. They sat, and I lay down in the cool

grass facing them. We sat for a while. The sounds of car traffic and distant insects filled the air. Finally,

the woman spoke.

“Dr. Joshua Martin, just what have you been doing here?” she asked incredulously. Josh didn’t answer

but reached into the pocket of his lab coat and pulled out a yellowish-green object I recognized instantly

as a tennis ball. I could not contain myself and leaped to my feet, bouncing up and down, my eyes riveted to

the new object of my desire.

“Joan is a dog” he said casually, tossing the ball casually back over my shoulder and well into the center

of the lawn behind me. I quivered with anticipation as he made me wait a few seconds longer, then I

turned and exploded away as released me with a small gesture of his hand. In just seconds, I was back,

dropping the ball at his feet, bobbing my head up and down, anxious for him to pick it up for another toss.

“She still has ninety-five percent pure and unaltered Canis Lupis Familiaris genetic material.” He

continued picking up the ball and flicking it back over me. I pivoted and bolted away in pursuit. This

time I caught it in the air, leaping forward before it could bounce twice. I wanted to hear this! He wasn’t

playing fair. I sped back.

“...The changes we have made with Joan, although significant and spectacular, are much less drastic than

those done over the last 15,000 years by selective breeding.” He continued. I got even with him by

dropping the ball slightly out of reach so that he had to reach forward drastically to pick it up. He shot me

a dirty look but retrieved it, sending me off again. I was breathing heavily and getting pretty warm by the

time I returned again. The woman had sat back with her arms crossed in front of her. A sudden wrinkle

creased her forehead just below her dark hair.

“Is Joan the only one that can... Talk” she asked. Josh gestured for the ball which I rolled obediently

toward him. He held it, though, while he answered.

“Yes... so far... We don’t even really know what we did,” he paused, “right,” he finished at last, looking

at me with that dopey loving smile on his face that I couldn’t resist. Since it didn’t look like he was going to

throw it again, I dropped to the cool grass, panting.

“I... don’t...know...how you...expect me... to talk... to... the...lady.. when you.. do... that...” I managed

to finally get out. The little speaker hissed strangely between my words at my heavy breathing. The

woman and Josh both laughed. Their voices blended nicely in combination.

“I wanted Donna, er, I mean Ms. Corbin, to know you are all dog,” he said, smiling broadly. “As soon as

you catch your breath. We can let her ask you a few questions.”

We talked for about half an hour, interrupted in the middle by Jimmy, who popped his head out the glass

door for a look around. He glanced at us, shook his head strangely, and returned inside. Donna

asked me what I could remember and how it felt to walk on four feet. These are silly questions, as I have no basis for comparison. I still can’t really understand how humans get around on two. I’m

always afraid they are going to fall over. As to my memories, I have always had enhanced brain

development so I don’t know what is normal. Other dogs seem kind of stupid, but again, my experience

is limited. Josh tells me all the dogs in our lab are all way above average but I’m not impressed. I’m

actually dreading running into the normal ones if that’s the case. I guess it would be like a human talking

with a chimpanzee. I suppose my love life is going to be a disaster. Unless Josh can figure out how he

did this to me again, I will probably have to marry for looks.

“That’s going to have to do it for today” Josh finally broke in. “I want to get Joan back inside before

people start leaving work for the day. Almost nobody else knows how far Joan has come”. Donna

nodded in acknowledgment. Suddenly aware that the mood was broken, she assumed her business-like

tone.

“I’ve obviously got some calls to make,” she said briskly. “This changes things.... I just wish you had

picked a year with less of a budget disaster in the works!” We all stood to our feet and Josh startled her

slightly by leaning in and placing his hand on her arm.

“Please don’t tell any more people than you have to...at least for a while longer” he asked. A concerned

smile passed across his face as he looked down at me. “I want to protect her as much as possible”.

Donna looked down at me then back up to meet his green eyes with hers.

“I’ll do what I can,” she replied, “but we’ve got to get the money”. She turned and headed for the parking

lot. Only I saw her look back and only for an instant. Josh and I went back through the glass doors and

into the cool dim lobby of the building. Jimmy was there, a skeptical look on his face.

“Looks like you let the dog out of the bag, Boss!” he tried to joke, forcing a grin.

“Bureaucrats!” Josh muttered angrily, stomping down the hall. I followed obediently behind him. The

grassy smell of the slightly soggy tennis ball, still clutched in his left hand, created a strange haunting

desire to chase and retrieve that I will never understand with my rational mind. I guess there are worse

addictions.

“Hey boss,” I whined, “how about lunch... All this excitement has made me hungry!” He turned around

and looked at me with a big smile.

“Joan, you are always hungry!”