"Hey Phil?"

"Hmm."

"I'm going to get a flagon of ale before the dungeon store closes. You want anything?"

"Just some tea would be fine."

"I know you're a [guard], but you sure you're not a [cleric] as well?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because both classes are in to divini-tea"

...

"I changed my mind. I'll take some ale as well."

--Conversation between two Guards, Lenorian Dungeon. AC 1621.

----------------------------------------

Luna and I spend the rest of the day getting to know our fellow trainee's. They are all coming from different dungeons and Wilhelm has been waiting here the longest. Apparently he arrived about two months ago and only now has there been enough first gen to have a training class.

The others seem pretty nice and shortly after the initial meeting, Luna peels off my shell to go talk with Mina. They're having something called a "girl's talk?" I don't get it but I wave goodbye as I try to follow Bill and Billy's conversation.

"So with the gear ratio just right, you can get additional torque for the mechanism." The other one chimes in, "Why have gears though when springs are obviously better?" The first one berates him, "Gears are plainly superior to springs, I've been trying to tell you! What do you think Crabby?"

Uh... yeah... I'm not getting any of this.

"I think both of you guys made some really good points!"

The first brother chimes in, "See? So like I was saying..."

I let them argue and try to spark up a conversation with Wilhelm. I say, "So... I guess Bill and Billy's classes are all about machines. What does [Berserker] do?" He turns from the news display and grunts. I didn't notice before, with the rush of everything happening, but... he has to be the most muscled fish I've ever seen. I try to figure out what race or species he might be, but it's difficult. There's so many different types of fish after all. I see long whiskers coming from his face so... I'm going to go with catfish. Yep, catfish sounds good. Finally, after a long silence, he responds. He says, "What does [Berserker] do?"

I nod.

"I hit things."

I nod once more, and wave a claw, plainly encouraging him to continue. He just stares at me. It begins to get a little awkward. I ask, "Uhm... yes, but what does your class do exactly?"

Wilhelm turns his gaze from me and stares off into the distance. Then he says, "I get angry." He turns back to look at me. "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

"Uh-huh... on second thought, how about we talk about something else?"

The catfish returns his sight to the SV, throwing out a last line, "The angrier I get, the harder I hit."

I just cautiously nod at him and say, "Okaayyy... buddy? I'm going to go see what Luna is up to."

He waves a fin in dismissal and I walk over to where the girls are. I hear Mina talking a thousand words per minute,

"And then, Oh my Charisma! He smiled at me! He was sooooo handsome! I mean, he's a seal, so there was never any chance between us, but a girl can appreciate you know?"

Luna seems a little off put by the rapid fire conversation, but seems to be having fun. I finish walking up as I hear Mina's last line.

"And then his song!! Pinniped is the ABSOLUTE BEST!!"

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

I hear her last words and I immediately freeze. A rush of emotions flood through me before I settle on anger. I roar, "PINNIPED!!! THAT GUY!! HE'S HERE?"

All conversation immediately halts and I realize my claws are unconsciously snipping open and closed in the water. I awkwardly stop their movement and try to get my emotions in line. Bill cautiously says, "Uh... yeah? I think he's a famous [Bard] or something?" The hermit crab seems to think for a moment, "Actually, now that I think about it, you share the same name with a character from some of his songs. Heh! What a coincidence!"

I grit my mandibles, and manage to ominously say, "Yes.... what... a coincidence." I try to play it off and ask Mina. "So... is this PINNI, *ehem*, this Pinniped guy actually in the military or just in the city?"

She looks at me like I've grown three heads. Which is silly, because I declined that evolution. She says with a wary tone, "Uh, he's in the city. He sometimes comes out to play for the military though, as part of a morale group. That's when I saw him last."

I jerkily nod and turn around to head back to the couch. I let the girls continue their conversation as I plot my revenge. Just wait until I get my claws on you Pinniped. Making songs about innocent crabs.... just you wait!

I eventually calm myself, and let my anger go. I spend the rest of the day talking to the others, getting a basic understanding of what I signed up for. Unfortunately they didn't know much more than I did, but at least they were able to explain some basics. Things like, "If the huge lobster is yelling at you, any answer you give back should be a yell as well." Also, some basic facing movements, how you're supposed to interact with others and stuff like what "toeing the line," means. They had to explain that one, as I was confused at first. They laughed and said they didn't get it either, no one in this group had toes after all.

Dinner that night was just some dried rations found in another room. I quickly fall asleep afterwards, still tired from the last few days; Luna tucked into the kelp mattress beside me.

******

*BANG!*

"RISE AND SHINE LADIES!!!"

Ah! The light is so bright! Gods, what hour is it? What's happening?

"YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO GET YOUR SORRY SHELLS OUT OF BED, BEFORE I BREAK MY CLAW OFF IN YOUR BEHINDS!! FIVE, FOUR, THREE..."

I jump out of bed and rush to do what everyone else is doing. Luna is at her usual place on top of my carapce and we're the last ones to be standing at attention in front of a brightly colored line. I see the Drill Sergeant pacing up and down the bay area as I lock my legs into place. The lobster continues yelling,

"THAT WAS TERRIBLE!! MY GRANDMOTHER COULD MOVE FASTER THAN THAT AND SHE WAS A SNAIL!!"

For a moment, my tired brain tries to figure out how that would work. If his grandmother was a snail... No! Pay attention Crabby!

The lobster continues his pacing, eventually reaching one end of the line. Then, he goes one by one, staring into the face of each of us, silent and judging. Finally, he gets to Luna and I and leans down. I look ahead, not making eye contact. In a change of pace he says, in almost a conversational tone, "Good morning Private Crabby, Private Luna."

I remember everyone saying that we could respond normally if the Drill Sergeant wasn't yelling. We both manage to call out, "Good Morning, Drill Sergeant!"

The lobster continues in a cheerful, nice voice. "Well Privates, I see that you've had an exciting time so far. You've worked together for a while haven't you? You're good friends?"

I'm caught off guard, wary at his friendly tone. No one prepared me for this. I respond, "Yes, Drill Sergeant, Luna is the second friend I've ever had, Drill Sergeant."

The lobster nods as I speak, even starting to smile a bit. He says, "Good... good! I'm happy to hear that! Now, what I want to know... is..."

His voice instantly starts screaming, "WHY PRIVATE LUNA IS ON TOP OF YOUR SHELL INSTEAD OF TOEING THE LINE WITH EVERYONE ELSE?"

We remain frozen, our tired brains trying to process the new information. Not thinking, we just showed up like normal, with Luna ready to go at her usual spot. I hadn't even thought about us being separate. Our delay doesn't help as the lobster begins waving his claws around screaming,

"MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!"

Luna clambers off my shell as fast as she can and lands flat on the floor. Her attempts at a rigid position seem to pacify the lobster and he continues speaking to everyone.

"Now listen here Privates. I know many of you..." He glares at Luna and I, then turns to the brothers and glares at them as well, "...have worked closely with other members of this team." He continues pacing back in forth in front of the line. He says, "That is good... You have already begun to forge the chains of brotherhood that will carry you to victory."

He reaches the end of the line, and begins to walk back the same way. "HOWEVER!!! You must learn to fight effectively and with complete strangers at a moment's notice. Where familiarity and friendship fail you, brotherhood and doctrine will not... DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

We yell back, "YES DRILL SERGEANT!!!"

He continues, "Good. I am Drill Sergeant Lee. I will be your instructor while you're in training. The next few weeks will be some of the most difficult times you've ever faced... even for first gen. I am one myself, and I know what you've been through."

Flashes of the [CORRUPTED] thing form in my mind, the tentacles, the skull with the burning eyes. I sincerely doubt he's seen some of the things I've seen. I keep my thoughts from my face as he continues.

"Because I am hard, you will not like me! I am hard, but I am fair! You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you! My orders are to weed out all non-hackers in my beloved Army! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

"YES DRILL SERGEANT!!"

"GOOD! Now, first thing's first!" He waves his claw and a ripple of mana extends to each of us. He says, "I've just unlocked a hidden compartment in your spatial rings. Inside is armor for each of you. If you are not sleeping, using the latrine or eating, you will be wearing it! It is enchanted with an auto-equip function! Don your gear... NOW!!"

My mind rushes to follow instructions. As I extend mana into the ring, an image of it's contents flashes in my mind. I see the armor he mentioned and extend a strand of mana towards it. A bright flash occurs and I look to see that my entire body is now strapped with metal plates. The metal covers almost every inch of me and as I try to subtly adjust my footing the Drill Sergeant waves another claw.

A ripple of mana extends once more, and suddenly the weight I'm carrying doubles. It's heavy... not heavy enough to restrict movement, but I can definitely feel it. The lobster says,

"This armor has been calibrated to account for your respective strength and dexterity. As you progress through training, the weight will be gradually increased."

I think about the stat increases I experienced in the [dungeon]; either through training or moving through the trapped corridor. This seems like another way to accomplish the same thing. Out of the corner of my eyes I see luna. She's wearing what looks to be a suit of chain mail. I idly realize that it's probably to allow for her extreme range of movement.

The lobster stops in front of our line and looks at all of us. He stands and stares for a cool moment before breaking into a grin. "Now privates.... let's go for a little run."