Waking from the test, I see only Shannahi's joyous face staring down. The world I exit feels make-believe, a place only in my mind. Wondering at the difference tosses me down a rabbit hole of superposition. Either way, accomplishing this is an accomplishment. With it, we can cross beyond the Wall better prepared. For Shannai and I, this means achieving our dreams.
“Surprised you eked that out,” Shannahi humbles.
“How do you know how close I was? For all you know, I didn't even break a sweat,” I re-assert.
“You convulsed a lot, thought you might die right on the table,” She convinces.
“Geez, that’s damning,” I agree.
“Yep, ready for our midnight runaway?”
“Are they going to send people after us?”
“How does that still surprise you?”
“I imagined stuff would die down once I leave the capital. Also, there is a big difference between some thugs with grudges and a Sheik-sent hunting party.”
“Two noble families,” She corrects.
“Yeah... Before we go, there is one thing we should resolve.”
“Yes?” She asks after a pause.
“I need to look inside your brain.”
“Inside my brain?”
“Yes.”
“If it is the only way.” She relents, reaching out a hand.
I lift my sword to meet her hand. Discomfort is one of the many feelings flowing through the connection as it snaps into place. A tendril of mental magic searches out as I doubt the successfulness of my half-assed plan. I become aware of a presence, another mind that stays at the edge. Delving into her with limited practice is cautiously approached. What will be the most prudent thing to look into? The more I look, the hazier it is, so one thing that will prove the rest. I must look for her sister, the desire to find her, finding the letter? Fuck for all.
Little resistance meets my advance, slipping me into her mind but not profoundly. I project that same desire in myself, seeking out an ally.
The following two seconds are eternity. I plunge in, possibly soul-deep, falling too fast to be sure. Immediate panic surges within us, deepening the sympathetic connection. Desperate anger slaps my head, only one portion of which I make any sense of— Idiot.
“Wake now, little one, or you’ll miss all the excitement.”
“Did she leave!” the little lump under the silk and feathers shouts.
"Not yet; you have time. Let's present a picturesque little sibling to say farewells to." Nuddy fusses from the washtub on the other side of my room.
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“Slowpoke!” The child cries, running from the room in their most comfortable nighties.
Their zoom down the east wing reaches the stairs in record time. Hollers of laughter roll off the vast rafters as the struggle rages. Their mother says, ‘It is impractical,’ so they can’t use the enormous dining halls, which means the target is sipping tea on the other side of the little one.
The runaway is a tremendous person with a hard body compared to their father's, but her hugs are okay. Upon embrace, she tosses her brown hair, which has the same curlyness as the little one, making a nest of curls. She's dressed for the road with a large black cloak that adds to her largeness. The abrupt entrance stirred her before she slipped into a familiar smile and set down her pretty green cup.
“There is my wild sibling,” she greets.
“Don’t leave, I will miss you.”
"You know I have to leave. Everyone has to pay time at the Wall, little one," stupid sister argues.
“Mom can get you out of it,” the surrounding embrace smells of lilac, cotton, and the earl gray.
“I know it is hard to say goodbye, but we will see each other again. Two years is not long; before you know it, I will be back.”
“I will miss you.” Shannai cries as Nuddy finally reaches the door.
“Come now— little one, there will be time— for crying later. You can not run around the manor in that state,” Nuddy fusses, pulling them from safety.
Stupid Nuddy removes them to get dressed and bathe. Instead of spending their time with a soon-to-be-gone sister, she leaves, and the little one is now alone. How she loathes adherence to propriety as if such outdated customs will gild a family name in shining shit; maddening.
Forty-six days remain before my sister returns from the Wall. Each day tires her more than the last. Without her to lean on, I have become the single symbol for the future of our branch. I have no one to confide in. I have no one. My mother is no longer mine; she is the Speaker, raising the standard I must adhere to. Not that any of my 'friends' will let a slip pass them by.
A carriage in the distance distracts Shannai from her painting on the veranda, a garden trapped in oil. Guests in the off-season are uncommon, marking the carriage as noteworthy. The imperial mark on the side starts her across to the stairs. Could this be someone calling for the Speaker? The person driving is in formal military wear. Jumping to conclusions, this might be her sister coming home early. Maybe her moth— the Speaker has finally heard her pleas and done something.
The veranda has a walkway that connects to the front door. My sandals clack as they impact the marble. A tilting compels me forward, but nothing compares to how fast my mind rushes through possibilities. Most are of a sister stepping out of that carriage. Hopes smother under a familiar practicality as I round the corner, seeing the front door. The carriage is still a ways off, so I slam the knocker on the door.
“Welcome-. Oh, Shannahi. Why are you knocking?” Gefrez asks as they promptly answer the door.
“Could you please get my parents? There is a carriage coming with the imperial seal.”
“Right away,” they obey promptly.
Shannai’s parents reach the door as the carriage enters the driveway. Her mother takes a sharp breath upon seeing the carriage. The driver steps off, opening the door to reveal a general, General Grev’Haim, if I'm not mistaken. What are they doing here? They hold a folded flag, casting sorrow with a downward look. I can hear Shannai’s heart pound in her ears as their wingtips hit the ground. Heat gushes in her throat, welling into a ball and stopping her breath. They are talking, but none of the words remain in this remnant. Her mind forgot the lies.
"Shannai!" The Speaker yells.
“Yes?” Shannai drawls, trying to hide the slip she had noticed.
Shannai has more hair, which she’d done up in a tight bun.
“You have a chance here to be my right hand, a chance to fulfill this family's dreams. You could be at my side, and we would control the empire together. You will see in the coming years that there is no choice for you. The path I have set is not something you can refuse.”
“I know, I am apprehensive. Spying on people isn’t something that comes naturally.”
“You are to be respectable, not some pleb running about. You will do as I say, attend these functions, and keep to the schedule Nuddy has set for you. That is all I need from you.”
“His name is Pear.”
"If you need a name for him, call him a pleb. Aside from that, he is a nuddy. Your Nuddy. I would sooner call him a walking bag."
“Mother, he is standing right here.”
“This is what I am talking about, Shannai. You must present a conduct equal to the role you wish to inhabit. And you must call me Speaker.”
“How well did that work for Shari?”
“I am not evil Shannai. And I want what is best for you above everything.”
“How hard you must hurt.”
The Houses of nobility are hard to enter, especially a speaker's office. But you have a chance if you are one of the handful of spatial mages in the empire. The piece of paper that will change everything is here. She searches endlessly for two years to find the last hope in this world. Today, She will receive what has eluded her since that day: confirmation. The Sage House deals with the bureaucracy of the Wall and provides for the people. Breaking nearly sixty laws to get here, but no one will find her.
In an unremarkable top left drawer of the Speaker's desk, Shannai uncovers the missing piece of her life. The lock is simple to pick, and space magic allows her to go right through the rune. The single sheet of paper is a report from three weeks before the worst day of her life. It contains several unimportant things, such as logistics and other minutiae. The line of interest is at the bottom, a coded message that reads: Your daughter has escaped Grev’Haim.
With this, she finally sees past grief, finally sees past all of the bullshit on a silver spoon, and finally sees a future. Her sister is alive, or at least she didn't die at that damn Wall. She's somewhere outside, either in the waste or another empire. Her fate is forged in five words.