I have a confession to make
I genuinely, and a little naively, thought that if I slept hard enough I might just wake right back up into my world
But nope instead of being rudely awoken to the sounds of my mother screaming and Jacobin's bad music, I was instead awoken to a light tap on the shoulder by a Malay nurse who politely greeted me in German before swiftly disappearing back into the corridor.
As for me well to say I was a little sad a tad bit of an understatement. If someone had given me the opportunity to go back to my world right then and there, I would have cried so hard in gratitude that the tears collected would have been enough to fill Mac Ritchie Reservoir fives times over.
Like seriously I really just want to go home. Back to my normal, peaceful life, or at least as normal as being around Jacobin can be ofc.
But noooooo, instead I am dragged from one world to another and forced to wander around purposeless and not even for the lack of trying. Everytime I get close to figuring out what's going on, I get stonewalled time and time again be it an explosion or the phenomenon I just never get anyways. To be fair I have only experienced the phenomenon twice but still, it's so frustrating you know. Like what have I ever done to deserve this huh fates? Is my presence alone soo dangerous that you have to constantly put me on the edge, constantly strain my mental capabilities lest I bring on the apocalypse or smth? All I ever wanted was a normal peaceful life is that really that hard to give huh? Is normality a premium now?
As I lay there fuming over these thoughts, I failed to notice that the doctor, alongside a nurse had already entered the room. So it came as a bit of a shock when the male voice rang out of nowhere.
"Good morning Fräulein Katharine how are you feeling today? Do you have experience any headache, nausea or abdominal pain?" The doctor says in quick succession as he tapped his pen furiously against the board, eagerly awaiting my reply.
Wait... why is he speaking English. I thought everyone here spoke german here hmm. My eyes instantly start to narrow as I focus all of my attention on him. The man was young, no doubt, his constant scribbling on his clipboard doing much to betray his age. Yet his forehead was full of wrinkles a likely byproduct from all the time he spent hunched over a textbook reading till the sun was up. While unique, it wasn't inexplicably so. Despite that, I just can't shake the feeling he might be the one. Something about the mundaneness of this man made him feel, ironically enough, special Hmm they do say the fates work in mysterious ways. If that's the case maybe he is indeed the one. The one that could finally help me get back to my world! You know what brain let's give it a shot, now how do I tell him subtly I understand his message...
"Well doctor," I say in English as loud as I could "I don't feel any and I mean any" wink "sort of pains. Okay maybe a mild headache here and there but just to be sure doctor could I have a cHeCkup please?" I say with particular emphasis on the please and checkup part.
The doctor clearly not getting my message, replied rather bewilderedly
"Well Fräulein Katharine, if that's the case I do not think a checkup in order. As for the headaches, they shouldn't be too serious of a problem. Though to be safe I will get the nurse to increase the dosage for the Rad-X meds." the doctor said before motioning to the nurse beside him to which she nodded back in return "Other than that I believe that is all. Your parents are coming to see you at around 10pm tonight and if all goes well you should be discharged in about one to two days." he says before straightening up to leave "I wish you the swiftest of recovery Fräulein Katharine"
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no no no this can't be!! Why is my savior leaving without even dropping any hints whatsoever? Nope nope nope I don't care if the fates do not ordain it but I must detain this man.
"Wait a second doctor!," I said as I launched myself toward him, who in return promptly collapsed to the ground, " I have a question" I say, my hand only a hair's breadth from where he laid.
"What...what is it" the doctor says, clearly inexperienced in the art of managing patients launching themselves at them.
"Well....."
Oh crap oh crap what should I say to him....
"...I...I just wanted too know why I am taking Rad-X for?" I say smiling in the vain hopes of dispersing the strong stench of awkwardness in the air.
haha nice save brain
"Well Fräulein Katharine," the doctor says picking himself up, probably realising that talking to the patients from the ground is that professional, "it's an anti-radiation pill to help relieve any radiation poisoning caused my last night's nuclear explosion"
In one sentence, any determination I once had immediately melted away as my feeling up to that point turned from that of mildly aggressive to that of apocalypse now. Anger, sadness, fear, shock all these emotions, once stuffed deep in my heart all spilled out and I went into a state of shock.
Am I gonna die? Is this the end? Is my consciousness going to spend an eternity hanging out with other german ghosts? All these thoughts flowed freely in my brain as I wriggle uncontrollably on the floor. Then I just stopped. My sadness had now taken centre stage.
"hey mummy daddy" I said softly, tears very quickly starting to well in my eyes "I am sorry I couldn't be the perfect son you always wanted but I hope whenever you guys looks at the stars, you will see me looking back." I shut my eyes tight, letting the tears freely flow down my cheeks.
The others for their part stood there absolutely dumbfounded by my reaction, as I cried to my heart's content.
Only at the 30 minutes mark did the Malay nurse finally decide to do something, timidly tapping my shoulder asking if I was okay. But alas I was absolutely inconsolable, sitting there continuing to sob uncontrollably.
It was only at the 1 hour mark where, with the intervention of my parents, I finally calmed down.
"Shhh Katherine you are safe here, no one and I mean no one is going to take you away from us." My dad said in his ever tranquil voice as he intermittently stroked my head.
"Bu....but the bomb, the flash, the radiation..." I say trembling
"Shhh Katherine it's fine, just rest, the Rad-X pills should do the trick. Come on Katherine, Come here, let me put you back to bed." My dad said gently gesturing towards me to which I dutifully complied, feebly crawling into his arms.
As I nest snuggly in his arms, feeling the warmth of my 'father' wash all over me, I could faintly hear the screeches of my mother as she raised hell all across the ward, no doubt complaining to staff about how her child was allowed to cry for so long. In fact, I could even feel the weight of the stares from Jacobine as she stood arms akimbo in a corner, in all likelihood judging me for being such a daddy's girl.
But at that moment I didn't care. What mattered was that for the first time in a long time, I felt this deep sense of security, as if despite all the craziness around me, as long as I stayed deep within his embrace, none of it would even come close to scratching me. As though I would be safe forever and ever, within this little bubble, safe yet carefree, secure and happy.
And thus as my father gently carried me to the bed, I eased myself deeper into his embrace, unwilling to let go of this feeling and instead let myself be swallowed up by it as my mind slowly drifts off into a deep sleep.