The temple of Knowledge reminded Seras of old pics of libraries, back when there wasn’t the net and people needed to store their information is thousands of paper books. While the word library had stuck around to the modern-day Seras had never once seen one in real life.

She looked around and saw acolytes and priests hard at work, some perusing the shelves, some studying at tables, while others were scribbling notes. “Why bother with the books anyway? Can’t your goddess just port all the info into your brains directly?”

He tilted his head in confusion until a strange look crossed his eyes and he nodded his head. “I would recommend trying to drop the otherworldly slang from your speech, if not for the goddess then everything you said would have gone over my head.”

“No dice, I already do a lot to clean up my speech, this is how talk and I’m not changing it any further.”

The priest shrugged “to each their own. And to answer your question, because our church venerates the pursuit and preservation of knowledge. An acolyte who had everything ‘ported’ into their heads wouldn’t truly value the goddesses’ gifts. It gives us a true appreciation for what we hold so dear.”

Seras nodded her head, but didn’t actually understand. If you could cut the hard parts out of a job then that just left more time to actually do something with all that knowledge. It was such a foreign idea to her that most of the people on this world didn’t have a vast wealth of knowledge at their fingertips. She couldn’t comprehend setting aside entire lifetimes just combing through books to extract the useful data. How did anything get done?

Lenny paused in his steps and gave her a curious look.

“What?” Seras said defensively.

“The goddess just told me why you might find the way we do things strange. I’m just intrigued by the revelation. Do the people on your world truly have unlimited access to all your world’s knowledge?”

“Yup, I’ve even got a sizable amount on me right now.”

“Fascinating. We have often wondered what it could be like if all the world had easy access to the things we did. Many believe that such a blessing would be the dawn of an enlightened era.”

Seras winced. “Yeah, that’s a no. True giving the smart people access to unlimited knowledge and instant communication sped up advancement, but the stupid people also have the same access. And those outnumber the smart.”

The priest looked confused “Would they not have the ability to educate themselves, to elevate themselves to a higher understanding?”

“Yes, which makes what they actually do with that all the more tragic. At best they spend their time watching old cat videos or jacking off, at worst they scream conspiracy theories at the topic of their digital lungs. Hidden mushroom people under the surface, how the moons are actually alien eyeballs, or that the CEO’s of the mega corps are actually a cabal of evil cultists. That sort of stuff.”

Now Lenny looked sad.

Seras felt bad “I take you’re one of the era of enlightenment dudes?”

The lion man looked sheepish. “Despite all my years and what I’ve seen, I still had a small bit of hope.”

“It’s not all bad. One upside to the net is that people born without the Chits for an education and a desire to learn can still make something of themselves.” That’s what Seras had done.

The Leonid gave her a soft smile. “Yes, I understand what you mean. I was just an orphaned brat living on the streets, but I wanted to learn, so I found my way to the temple of knowledge. My story is one that isn’t a rare one, but it is uncommon. I’m glad on your world’s people…” he trailed off and then looked very sad.

“I take it she just told you about my world.” Seras guessed.

The Leonid nodded. “Yes.” He said shortly.

Seras nodded, Lenny struck her as an optimist, unfortunately people like Lenny didn’t hold onto their positive outlook on Ruin. She had seen enough broken by the weight of a dying world to recognize the look in his eyes. Even if it was second hand.

They walked through the stacks of books in silence, until they reached a place within the temples in sanctum.

“Through this door you’ll meet the goddess.” Lenny said, his voice dripping with gravitas.

“Any advice?” Seras asked, an unconscious jittery feeling setting her on edge.

“Know that you cannot lie, know that you cannot hide anything, but while she knows all she cannot predict our futures.”

“Why not? Surely if she knows all then she could plot our lives along a chart or something.”

Lenny looked amused. “She knows everything about us, all that made us who we are. She knows our thoughts, conscious or subconscious. She even knows what challenges we might face. But despite all that she cannot accurately predict what people will do. Such is the nature of free will.”

Seras gulped. “Alright, that’s, I don’t know what to do with that, but thank you.”

“Of course. One last thing, while she knows your mind, and can see all your questions, you still need to ask them out loud. That is the way.”

Seras nodded, and then without any outward signs of apprehension she pushed through the door.

The inside was mostly unadorned. There was a statue on one side with candles. But other than that, there wasn’t much to look at. She thought that the most sacred place of a goddess would be a bit fancier.

Without any idea what she was supposed to do Seras walked to the only thing of note in the room. The statue was of an alabaster skinned women holding a thick book, and a little padded mat in front. Seras had no idea what they were for though.

“The basic idea is that you pray.” A soft voice said from behind her.

Seras turned to look at, well, herself. Or at least what she would look like if she stayed a meat bag. She wore her hair in the same style as Seras, but instead of her glossy metallic color the women had mousy brown hair. The eyes were the same shade of hazel her’s had been before she got them replaced, and her skin was a shade darker than Seras’ and had all her old blemishes. The mole of her neck, the scar from the cut on her lip, and the small pock marked scars of a girl who had the worst case of acne imaginable.

Seras’ mind began to work. “You knew I’d be suspicious.”

“Suspicious?” the women said in Seras’ own voice.

“I turn around for a second and then you appear, if you looked like anyone else then I might think you slipped through a hidden door without my notice. And if you looked exactly as I am now then I’d assume it was some sort of essence power. So instead, you took the form of something only I would know.”

Seras’ face smiled, and the weird, mismatched dimples on her cheeks irked Seras. “You’re quite astute. You’re right, I knew that you would be skeptical of any tricks so I chose this form.”

Seras already felt a migraine coming on. “So, I guess you’re the real deal then.”

“Yes”

“Could you, could you chose a different form to take?” Seras asked.

“Does your own face really disturb you that much?”

“More than it should.” Seras admitted.

The goddess then changed, it didn’t happen in the blink of an eye. It was like more like Seras stopped paying attention for a moment, and in that moment someone new was standing before her.

“That is uncanny.” Seras muttered.

“Its why I don’t often change the form I take.” The new women said. This one had lightly tanned skin with dark black hair pulled into a long braid. Soft brown eyes met Seras’s own. She looked like a local.

“I’m supposed to ask questions now aren’t I?” Seras said awkwardly.

“Yes.” She answered.

The big questions came to the forefront of her mind, but as much as she wanted to ask them she was afraid of the answers. “Right, mind if I ask some smaller questions, before I ask about the big stuff.”

“If you wish.” The goddess said.

Seras took in a deep breath. “You kept giving Lenny knowledge of my world. Does that mean you also know about my world?”

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“In a way.” The goddess answered. “I am not a goddess of your world like you’re wondering. I only have sway over this one. But my domain is knowledge of everything in this world, when you came into it through that astral space you brought knowledge of your world with you. I know because you know.”

“So you’re only a part of this world. But what about mine, do we, or did we-?”

“Yes, your world had gods just like Pallimustus.”

“Pallimustus?”

“That is the name of this world.”

“And you know that all from my memories?”

“Yours, and others from your world.”

“There are other Ruinite outworlders here?”

“No, you are the only one from your world right now. But you’re not the first outworlder to get shunted from your world. Though the last one was a long time ago, back when you still called your world Vestal. I know what your world was like from his knowledge and your own, I extrapolated from there.”

That meant he was from before the calamity. That meant that Seras was still all alone.

Something about the Goddesses’ word choice sparked an idea within Seras. What if she wasn’t really a divine being but a-

The Goddess sighed “No, I am not some AI. I’m sorry if the word extrapolate gave you the wrong impression.”

Seras blushed. That was a dumb idea anyway, no AI would have the ability to read her mind or know what she used to look like. Religious skepticism seemed too deeply ingrained.

“Any more small questions?” the Goddess asked.

“About a million, but I can’t seem to think of any right now.”

“Then on to the big questions,” the Goddess offered.

“Yeah, yeah,” Seras tried to collect her thoughts. Being a person from a different world left her with a lot of questions, but only a select few of those were appropriate to ask an divine immortal repository of knowledge. “When I arrived here, I had an essence in my hand. It was from my world, which shouldn’t be possible since my world doesn’t have magic. Was it somehow defective?” Seras asked.

“No.” The goddess said firmly. “The essence is not artificial, or at least not in the way you’re thinking. What Volta station was doing was pulling at the dimensional membrane of your world and the Astral. That brought magic into a sterile environment of technology and metal. It could have taken many shapes, but the magic formed into a technology essence. The essence formed naturally, even if the environment was artificial. Your essence is not defective.”

“But the abilities I got. I shouldn’t have been able to get those abilities without the proper knowledge and expertise.”

The Goddess raised an eyebrow. “True, you don’t have any idea how formation or ritual magic worked. But your ability has a secondary aspect, it can inscribe magical runes or circuitry. You know nothing of runes, but have a great deal of soldering experience. That is why you got the ability you did.”

“And the second?”

The goddess frowned “That is a different matter. Without proper knowledge no amount of normal awakening stones would give an ability like that. But you didn’t use a normal stone. That one had been crafted by the Celestial book specifically to give you that ability, it even included a token to invoke your racial gift evolution.”

“Token?” Seras asked.

“Yes, the Celestial book often blesses people with special tokens to give them greater mana. This just so happened to be included into the power of the awakening stone.”

“Do you know why it gave me that stone.”

“Not exactly. The Celestial book is of the Astral and is beyond my domain. But it often favors those who are likely to advance magical knowledge, it venerates exploration and discovery. Maybe it believed you would do something impressive.” The goddess offered.

Great, now she had to deal with thew expectations of an eldritch being from beyond time and space. What would happen if she disappointed it?

“Okay, I just have more questions about that, but I don’t think you’d have the answers.”

“A rare occasion” the goddess intoned.

“Must get little exasperating knowing everything at all times?”

The Goddess smiled. “It would if I were mortal. But despite the form I take I am not. This form is just an impression upon the world. Not my true self. I have always known all, it is my nature.”

“Alright, next question, is there a way home?”

“What a curious way to phrase it, home. You do not think of Ruin as home, you don’t think of anywhere as home. You had places you lived, and a place you were from, but no home.”

“You know what I meant. Can I ever go back?”

The goddess met her eyes. “As you are, barring any extraordinary luck, no. You will never return to Ruin.”

“What do you mean by extraordinary luck?”

“There is always a non-zero chance that you might end up in another magical accident and get shunted into the astral once more. From there you may by chance happen to return to Ruin, though the odds of that are so unlikely it be as well be zero.”

Seras understood the logic. In life there was always a chance that everything could go as wrong as possible. A stray bullet from a gang fight could pierce the skull of some bystander, or a vent failure could let in deadly poisons and kill a whole apartment without anyone the wiser. But the odds of her somehow getting into another magical accident and finding her way back to Ruin was so unlikely it didn’t bare thinking about.

But something else in the goddess’ answer stood out to her. “As I am now? What do you mean by that?”

The Goddess’ soft eyes became steely. “The time for dancing around the real reason you came is at an end. Ask your question.” Knowledge commanded.

“My issue, the soul/body disconnect, is there a cure? Is there some sort of way I can fix myself?”

“No” Knowledge said with grave finality.

Seras felt her heart drop. “But, that’s. No, there’s always a way.” Seras said desperately.

“Indeed. But fixing your issue requires power beyond mortals, the power of transcendent beings, divine beings.”

“Divine power, what do you mean?”

“Your issue comes from an imbalance between your soul and your body. When you came into this world your soul could not remake your body as it should have been, because you abhor the thought of your own flesh. So instead it remade the mechanical body you had before the explosion. But your body is too strong. It is bronze rank in power and ability and the process of rebirth changed the way your soul interacts with it. Your soul had found an equilibrium between your higher rank body and ordinary magic matrix, it could even maintain the balance when you began absorbing essences. But to reach the next rank you must push the limits of your essences; this disrupts the equilibrium. With every minor advancement you’ll tip the scales, until one day you push too far and your own soul is ripped from your body.”

“But if I rank up to bronze the issue should be solved right?”

The goddess looked sad, but she held her steely eyes of Seras’ “You will die before you reach bronze, no combination of essence or awakening stones will fix that. You will never advance to bronze, and the closer you get to that limit the more pain you’ll put yourself in.”

“But you said my issue requires divine intervention-“

“Yes, but not in the way you think. I can offer you an artifact that will strip your soul of the essences you have absorbed and you can continue to live the rest of your life as an ordinary cyborg.”

“That’s possible, just taking out my essences?”

“Yes, but only through divine power. And only with your own consent. And it would not come cheaply.”

“I didn’t think a goddess would have need for a poor outworlder’s coins.” Seras spat bitterly.

“I’m not talking about coin. The kind of power I would use to strip your essences out would be costly for someone not a member of my order. But if you were to join I would see no issue in giving this boon. Alternatively, we could go the opposite direction. Instead of stripping you of your essences I could remake your body as it should have been.” She gestured with a hand and another Seras appeared.

She, unlike the other form Knowledge had used, was a perfect copy of Seras. Metallic grey hair, sharp silvery eyes, and fine-tuned features. But something about it made Seras’ smart skin crawl.

This form looked like her, but wasn’t her at all. It was made of gooey flesh and blood, brittle bones and obtuse inner workings. This was the sort of thing she spent her whole life avoiding, years of slowly ripping off weak flesh for the sleek precision of metal.

Seras reached out and poked its cheek. The flesh gave with no resistance, and Seras felt a warmth on her finger sensors. Her stomach churned with disgust.

“So that’s it.” She said after a long moment, her voice was shaky. “I either strip the magic out of my soul, or I abandon my body for that thing. And in return all you ask of me is devotion?”

“It is not so bad as you make it sound. I do not keep a clergy of impoverished slaves. I would provide you with your final essence, and even help you obtain the rest of the awakening stones you’ll need. You can stay here and train, you’ll have access to my vast collection of knowledge, and you can even start introducing ideas and technologies from your world. I will even lift the restriction on your net access ability so you can have all the worlds knowledge at your fingertips once more. And most importantly, you would finally have a home. No more running and hiding in forgotten basements, no more distrusting the people around you, no more fighting just to survive. You would have a place here.”

That, that all sounded nice. Knowledge was right, Seras never really had a home. Ruin had never been her home, and she couldn’t care less about the people there. Traveling with Dustin had been one of the nicest times of her life, and that said more about her life up until now than it did about how tasty trail rations were. Maybe Knowledge had a point… “You sneaky bitch!” Seras cursed.

The Goddess looked surprised. “Pardon?”

Seras began to pace as she got her thoughts in order, she didn’t know where the revelation came from, but as she thought through their meeting something became clear to Seras. “You’ve been manipulating me. From the very start of this meeting you’ve been leading me to a certain choice. That stunt with my old body, the bullshit about how Ruin was never my home, it was all the manipulate me into making the worst mistake of my life.”

The Goddess no longer looked stunned. Seras had only surprised her with that outburst because Seras didn’t even know why she had said it. But as she got her thoughts in order the Goddess also got to see the truth her subconscious mind had pieced together.

Knowledge smiled “Even after all these years you mortals continue to surprise me. But you are wrong about one thing, it wouldn’t be the worst decision of your life. I meant what I said. You would have a home, you would have a purpose, and with a personality like yours I’m sure you would reach gold, or even diamond rank with your dogged persistence. Turning away would the worst mistake of your life.”

“It would mean rejecting who I am. This is me, this is the body my soul built because it couldn’t imagine any other form. And you want me to give it up?”

“It is not as bad as you think. While normal rank bodies are as frail as you fear, the bodies of high rankers are a different matter. At a silver ranker you can regenerate any part of your body, even your head, so long as you have the power. And with magical healing now available to you there would be no need to fear disease or sickness. This isn’t Ruin. Your flesh wont melt in the rain, rats and roaches won’t cover your skin to feast on your flesh, your lungs won’t feel like they’re on fire with every breath. You will be normal.”

“Fuck you” Seras shouted as she wheeled on Knowledge; her temper rising with every word the goddess said. “I am normal, I don’t care what you backwards primitives think about me.”

The consoling look in the goddess’ eyes vanished, in its place was something harder. “No, you’re not.” She said, her every word landing on Seras with a physical weight. “You’ve been told of how the Death essence changes its user into an inhuman creature. Undead Lichs, Wraiths, Ghouls, Vampires, and other abominations. But did you know that there was a cyborg confluence? Death, iron, and Technology.” The image of Seras was replaced, in its place was a gross amalgamation of flesh and rusty machinery. It was still Seras, but it lacked all the graceful elegance of her own body. Instead, it looked like some mad mechanic had stappled machinery directly onto a person’s flesh, wherever metal met flesh there was gross red and puss filled skin. It was horrifying. “This could have been you, and it still could.”

“No” Seras muttered. “No, no, no. You’re lying.”

Knowledge looked offended “I do not lie.”

With her words Seras felt something wash over her, something vast, no, something limitless. It pressed down on her and Seras knew that this was the power of divinity. It could squash her like a bug, or atomize her with just as much effort. She was small, and powerless before it. And more over Seras felt her nature. This was a being of incomprehensible knowledge and scope, she saw all at once, and knew everything that had been. And more over she did not lie, ever.

Her breaths came in ragged gasps, she felt disoriented, and the room spun.

In the face of all that Seras had only one reaction. She ran.

She burst out of the room with no effort to hold back her strength. Lenny caught one of the door splinters before it could burry itself into his face, but he didn’t stop Seras as she sprinted out of the temple at full speed.

The light of the noon day sun nearly blinded her as she entered the divine square. Her eyes adjusted quickly, and she saw Dustin looking at her. The kindness and concern she saw was too much. She turned away and fled from him.

“Seras!” he shouted.

She didn’t turn back.

~~~*~~~

Lenny watched the girl run out of the temple. From her Aura the girl was practically on the verge of having a mental breakdown. From what the Goddess showed of the child he knew that it took an exceptional amount of stress to cause this sort of reaction.

He did not chase after her, though he had wanted to. He stayed because a tall Leonid women stepped out of the room and stood next to Lenny.

“My lady” Lenny intoned to the Goddess Knowledge. “I take it that went poorly.”

“It almost worked out. She surprised me. Despite all my knowledge you mortals hardly ever act the way I expect you to. It truly is a wonder.”

“So this reaction was to being manipulated?”

“Not entirely, though it did upset her. No once I saw that there was no chance she would accept I changed tack. I shocked her and pushed her into this state intentionally.”

“If I may ask, why?”

The goddess smiled “You know you can ask any question you like Lenny.” She teased.

“But you reserve the right to withhold answers.” Lenny added.

“Of course.”

They were silent for a minute before the goddess answered. Lenny knew that unlike with other people his goddess didn’t pause because she was gathering her thoughts, she paused because it was what someone else would do in this situation.

“My dear Lennias, what is the true power of knowledge?” the Goddess asked him.

This was an ancient question, dating all the way back to the first days of their order. There wasn’t a single answer to the question, it was something each worshipper of the goddess was supposed to ponder upon. Though there was a very common answer to the question that had arisen over the years. “Knowledge is power.” He said with a wry smile.

The Goddess chuckled “Indeed. And you know there are many uses for power. Some are forceful impositions of will. And others are softer, a light touch that puts things in motion.”

“So that was you pushing her down a certain path. Why?”

Her mirth faded. “Because as she is right now she could become a great threat. The gods are not the only solution to her problem, there is another entity she could turn to, one that will offer everything she wants for a cost that she won’t hesitate to pay as she is now.”

Lennias did not speak. But he did not need to, the Goddess knew what he knew. “Does that mean she could also be powerful ally?” he instead asked.

“Yes, she could. In general, Outworlders come in two varieties, the kind that die immediately, or the kind that survives everything the world can throw at them and become all the more powerful. She is brimming with other worldly knowledge, and more importantly she has the intelligence and ingenuity to make good use of it.”

“But if she will die as she is now, and her only option is to cure her issue is to ally with ‘that’, then what chance does she have to change her path?”

“Because, as she is now she will die, and there is no cure in existence…yet.”

Lennias was a silver ranker who had served the goddess for many, many years. He thought he knew her ways, but this surprised him. “If you knew a possible solution-”

“I do not know a possible solution, but I am Knowledge, everything that is or was is within my domain. But what could be is not. Someone with Seras’ intelligence and drive has the potential to create something truly special”

“I see.” He said suddenly understanding her meaning. There was no way for Seras to cure herself at this moment, but that didn’t mean one couldn’t be created.