When Bread awoke, he wasn’t where he thought he’d be.

All around was white. A space of complete white. Nothingness. It was colorless otherwise.

But it wasn’t empty.

He saw people walking around. No, they didn’t seem like ordinary people. They almost looked dead if it weren’t for the fact that they were still moving about. Most had sunken cheeks, dark circles under their eyes, tattered and torn clothing. They didn’t look all that life-like, wandering around as if they were lost.

It didn’t help that there was nothing else around. Other than the people, it was completely empty. Just a void of white space with no end in sight.

“Welcome.” A voice sounded from behind. When he turned, he was greeted with yet another weird sight.

There was a woman before him. She was clad in armor as black as night, hair like oil—void of any color. Her pale, pale skin almost seemed translucent. Like he could barely make out the shadows of bone underneath her skin.

Bread had never seen such a person before. She didn’t seem human, and not in the robotic sense. She didn’t seem to be alive either, just like all the others around him.

Where even was he? This didn’t seem like the real world. If it were, he’d much rather be in a simulation. No, this couldn’t have been the real world. Val wasn’t here, and Coach wasn’t either.

“Have you ever heard of a place called purgatory?” the woman spoke for the second time. Her eyes lacked any kind of light to them. It was almost creepy the way she stared at him.

But purgatory? His records told him of a place like that. It was supposed to be a place between life and death. A place that wasn’t real. It was supposed to be a fairy tale made from the beliefs and worship of a higher power.

“That’s what we decided to name this place. At least the ones who were sane enough to come up with a name.”

Wait, did that mean he had died? But he wasn’t even real. How could he…

As if reading his mind, the woman spoke, “You’re not dead. And this place… I wouldn’t say it’s the most accurate definition of being in limbo. After all, we just took inspiration.”

What did that mean? Where was this place then?

Again, she spoke as if she could read his mind. “This is the place where the lost are kept. Those who die within cyberspace and those who don’t have a physical body are naturally placed here when they lose their worth.”

“W-what?” Cyberspace? Was he still in Simular then?

“In simpler terms, NPCs and people who die in the real world while still connected to the system end up here.” She watched the ghoulish people from afar. She almost looked sad for them. “What an unfortunate sight.”

“B-but… if I’m not dead, why am I here?”

“You’re lost. And this is also where those who are lost end up.” She watched her fingers glitch through her surroundings, phasing in and out of color. She didn’t seem surprised by it though. “If you stay here for too long, you’ll lose yourself. Memories constantly looping, bodies losing their physicality.”

“W-what?!” No, he couldn’t let that happen. Val was waiting for him. His new life was just around the corner. “I-I need to get out of here!”

“Most can’t.” She watched with sunken eyes, staring at him squirming about. “They’re stuck here, slowly losing their sense of self over time… But I guess time isn’t really much of a concern here.”

“No…” Val promised him she’d show him the world. He wanted so much to see. He had so many things that he’d wanted to do…

“Tell me,” the woman replied. “What year is it outside?”

“Outside?” His records had told him one thing—when he’d woken up under snow, he’d known off the top of his head—“2112?”

“2112? That’s… That’s far longer than I had imagined.” She smiled. Her expression was soft, mellow. “I’ve been here since 2101. I can’t say I’ve had much of a place to call home except here though. Would you like to hear my story?”

“I need to… get…” She looked so sad, lonely. It reminded him of Dad. That sad smile, and the way she tried to hide it with that seemingly tough exterior. It was all too familiar, and he hated it. He hated seeing people hurting so much.

If he could, he wanted to make people happier. He’d realized that it made himself happier in the process. Just like how he’d done for Dad. But Dad didn’t want him. Right now, this person needed him more, and he felt appreciated because of it. He liked that feeling.

“I… Okay. I’ll listen.”

“Thank you.” She started, “I was a psychiatric patient. Part of the modern day mental asylum. Who would’ve thought insane, old me would end up here of all places.”

Insane? She didn’t seem all that insane to him.

“I didn’t realize until after the fact, but most patients became experiments sold to corporations. I was no different.”

“Experiments?” Kind of like himself. They were birds of a feather. Maybe that was also why he instinctively felt compelled to listen.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

“Yes, a failed experiment. Simular, when it was first introduced, advertised near human NPCs. That was because they were human.” A chair materialized from nowhere. She sat down, gesturing for him to do the same. “Sit. It’s uncomfortable.”

A chair? From where? How did she even do that?

“Just imagine it.”

Imagine it? He couldn’t fathom the act, but he did as he was told. And the moment he thought of a chair, immediately, it phased into existence. A gasp—he couldn’t help it. Out of all the unnatural things that had occurred since, like teleporting and disappearing dumpsters, this was the most unusual.

“Sit.”

Bread sat on the chair, still mesmerized by the absolutely reality-breaking phenomenon that he had just effortlessly performed.

She continued, “They used those like me—who were abandoned by society—and wiped us clean of any personal memories. For the longest time, all I knew was how to act as an NPC… That was until my old memories started resurfacing, and I started losing whatever was left of my new self.”

That reminded him of when Dad had tried to reset him. Was this what could’ve happened to him too?

“Then they deleted me from the system. Ended up scrapping the idea of using real humans as NPCs.”

“But you’re here?”

“Like I said—those who’re lost end up here. Can’t even die, can’t even live. It’s an unending experience.” She smiled, which was unexpected given the situation that she was supposed to have been in. “But the glitching that’s happening in this place—I think it actually fixed me.”

“It fixed you?” But she was still glitching all over. Her hands looked like they were shaking, and she seemed so physically unstable. “But you don’t look fixed.”

“My mind seems clearer. I can remember everything—my family, my past life. I haven’t felt better. I think I got lucky. This glitch—others seem to have been mentally entangled, but it’s done the opposite for me. Maybe because I was already entangled to begin with.”

“You’re the only one then?” He looked around. Out of all those people who were supposedly lost, this lady in black was the only one who managed to stay sane?

“Yes.”

“Aren’t you lonely?”

“I am.”

He wondered for a moment. Was he brought here for this reason? Maybe he could belong here—help this person feel less lonely, be by her side… Maybe this was where he was supposed to belong?

But the woman shook her head as if reading his mind yet again, “You can’t stay here. Not for me.”

“Why?”

“You won’t remain sane.”

“But—”

“You won’t. I’ve had a number of those who wished the same, but to no avail. What’s the point of accepting someone if they never last?” She gazed over with those dead eyes. “I don’t want to be the reason for you to lose yourself. Not again.”

“Maybe I’ll be different—”

“You don’t belong here, child of snow.”

Snow? He was born under snow. Was that what she was referring to? But how did she know that?

“I can read through the memories of those who come here, so I know you don’t belong here. You have an entire journey ahead of you—a journey of self discovery. Don’t spend that precious time here.”

“But what about you?”

“I’ve lived here for a decade. I can live more.”

“Don’t you ever want to leave?”

“I’m afraid if I leave this place, I’ll lose my identity again. I’d much rather stay as myself. It’s lonely but much more comforting when you remember things.” She smiled that sad, familiar smile Dad had always made. The one where he knew was forced. “Waking up and not knowing where you are, not understanding what’s happening around you… It takes its toll eventually.”

He couldn’t leave anyway. Maybe he really should just stay here. It was like he’d found someone who could finally tell him who he was.

“You can leave.”

“What?”

“You always could’ve.” The woman stood up from her chair and reached out, gesturing for him to hold on. When he complied and held her hand, he was gently pulled up from his seat. She continued, “Do you know why you’ve ended up here?”

“No?”

“It’s because you hesitate. You worry that it’ll be the same as before, lost in your own fears.” With her free hand, she waved, and a coal black door appeared in front of them. “Do you see this door?”

“Y-yes?”

“Then you already understand deep down that there is only one path forward. This door will only manifest itself to those who do not belong here.”

“Doesn’t that mean you can leave too?”

“Yes, that’s true. But I don’t want to. I said before that I’d much rather be me than lost. And this place, as unfortunate as it is, is the place I chose to call home.” She pulled him towards the door. “Do not waver. There will always be strife within harmony, chaos before peace.”

“W-wait.” Bread tried to move away. He didn’t want to go. What if this really was the place for him? He had a feeling he’d never be back.

“A child born from simulation and snow…” she continued. “Remember to follow your heart when all seems lost. Someday, I’m certain you’ll find the answers you seek, but I can’t be the one to give you that. Now go. There are those who’re waiting for you on the other side.”

“W-who are you?” He’d never gotten her name. At the very least…

“Somebody I hope you’ll never see again.” She opened the door. Darkness stared him back. “Goodbye, Bread.”

“Wait, maybe I can stay a little long—”

“Thank you…” She smiled. In that instant, the dullness in her eyes vanished, and that dark, brooding aura around her seemed to lift away. “…for trying to be my friend.”

“What?” Bread was mesmerized by the unexpected warmth in her expression. This time, it wasn’t sad like the ones Dad would often make. It almost looked genuinely happy.

Then the woman pushed him in.

He started to fall, deeper and deeper into the blanket of inky nothingness. As the opening of the door grew smaller and farther from his grasps, he could barely make out a figure poking through, waving goodbye.

Bread decided then and there that, at the very least, he was going to remember her until the day he died. Until he ceased to exist. Whether he was real or not, whether he belonged or not, the one thing that remained constant were his memories. Those were real. If nothing else, his memories would always be real.

So he waved back, called out to her, ingraining this moment deep into his memories, and he resolved himself to move forward—into the darkness, the unknown.

He had so many questions still unanswered—was he real? Where did he belong? Why was he born? What was his purpose? Was leaving Simular the right choice? But worrying never got him anywhere.

She was right. He just had to go.