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Shutdown Signal (LITRPG)
12. Is there a line between a monster and a martyr?

12. Is there a line between a monster and a martyr?

Eris floated in a giant glass vat, surrounded by clear fluid. Thousands of needles were poked into her body. Each had a tube attached, with liquid flowing in or flowing out. Red and white fluid slowly trickled into a smaller vat, while acidic green fluid was pumped beneath her skin. The body in the tube looked as though it was dying. There was nothing else in the laboratory except empty fluid containers and open space.

With context, I knew the process was more painful than it looked, but less lethal. This facet of Eris was being drained of blood and liquified bone marrow thoroughly enough that her regeneration was struggling to keep up. There were other facets that were intact, of course, but this one was being bled dry and dissolved at the same time.

It was a slow, agonizing decay. Over the course of a day, this facet would slowly die, and then the machine would flood the chamber with acid to melt its corpse into materials. Within a day, the facet would reform, and another would have taken her place in the chamber.

This was a story, and a story Eris chose to tell - to suffer through - willingly. The ritual didn’t increase her power, or the power in the blood and bone that was extracted, but it wasn’t pointless. It pried her power loose of her nature, and changed its story. Eris was, naturally, a Goddess of Corruption and Cruelty. She might’ve been able to temporarily heal someone, but both of her gifts would twist it into an act of harm. That was her story. Corruption and Cruelty entwined, to become something less than the sum of her parts.

This was an agonizing process to Corrupt Cruelty into something gentler. Mercy, Compassion, Kindness, or something else that could genuinely help. Her blood became a potent curative, rather than a poison or drug. Her marrow became something that could be used to strengthen and sanctify, instead of something to poison and kill.

It was an utterly ruthless cruelty, and it couldn’t be tainted by Eris wanting to suffer. She had to be suffering only for the sake of others, or it would render the entire act meaningless. She had to value herself, her health and wellbeing, and she had to choose this torment even so. Honestly, I might’ve preferred to have tied myself to an evil monster of corruption.

“What’s a nice lass like you doing in a pit like this?” Eris wheezed.

“Watching a miracle.” I said, “One I wish wasn’t needed.”

“I wish I were better, too.” She said, “Want me to tell you a story?”

“If it’ll make you feel better.” I said, “I think I already know it, but I’d like to hear it from you if it’ll help.”

“It will.” Eris said, “Once upon a time, a Goddess who was far too brave stood, alone, against a seven-headed dragon-demon that embodied Cruelty. Cruelty wanted to devour the world, and the Goddess stood against it. The Goddess had a tiny sliver of a Paradise’s might, and Cruelty had all of this Abyss’. It should’ve ended in an instant. The fight wasn’t even close to fair, and there was no way she could win. In a crueler story, that might’ve been how it ended.”

I nodded.

“But she was Kindness and he was Cruelty. Perhaps that was why she managed to stand against him. For no matter the power behind each, Kindness and Cruelty must be peers. So they fought. Who do you think won?” Eris asked.

“Neither of them.” I said, “Kindness lost because she didn’t have enough power to equal Cruelty fairly, and Cruelty didn’t care enough to win.”

“Kindness lost.” Eris said, “She was determined to save everyone from him, including himself. In a merciful world, that would’ve been enough to ensure an unmitigated victory. In a harsher world, Cruelty would’ve triumphed, and she’d’ve barely scratched him. But this wasn’t either world. Kindness and Cruelty fought one another with all of their power. Kindness fought well, wisely, and with everything within her, and managed to amputate four of his heads. Even so, she ran out of power before she could stop him. That’s the end of the story.”

“It isn’t.” I said, “but if you want to stop, you can.”

“You’re right.” Eris said, “I can keep going. Cruelty surged forwards and devoured every piece of her, from heart to soul. It devoured them intact, and they changed it, a little. I like to think it knew what the consequences could be, but it definitely didn’t know what they would be.”

“It wanted to be something different, right?” I asked.

“I don’t remember. I wouldn’t want to be Cruelty, but I don’t know if that’s why.” Eris said, “Regardless, Kindness seeped through every piece of it, and rotted it from within. The dragon that was Cruelty went to sleep. If it woke up again, it was me when it did. I remember a little of being it, but that doesn’t prove anything. I am not Kindness, but I am not Cruelty alone.”

“You changed, and you don’t know if you were what you remember being before.” I said, “Does it matter?”

“It doesn’t. It doesn’t even matter if the myth actually happened. I’m still Eris, Cruelty corrupted by the last breaths of Kindness.” She shrugged, “That’s all there is to know about me, really. I killed Kindness, and woke up wishing I was her. Would you tell me about yourself, and what you want?”

I did. I told her about what I’d been doing since we last met. I talked about my life before the shutdown began. My life before this didn’t have interesting drama or big flashy moments, and I had to paint in broad strokes, but Eris listened intently.

I woke up before she actually died.

---

[Your bond with Eris had deepened. Blood of the Sacrificed Subskill: Kindness in the Blood has been unlocked.]

[Kindness in the Blood: [Blood of the Sacrificed] will now heal all non-enemy entities within its area of effect. This will only heal injuries of Dream-related origin. This includes, but is not limited to, abilities inflicted within a Dream and abilities inflicted by a Dreamer’s powers. Healing will scale based on your Dream Potency and Dream Manipulation. This skill will not affect its caster directly.]

[You have helped evacuate 135 people! 45 Moonlight Shards have been awarded!]

[You have killed a massive quantity of Shadowbeasts! +96,720 Potential, +9,672 Net Quanta!]

[You have 97,017 Potential and 33,578 Quanta]

---

When I woke up, it was four in the morning, but I didn’t feel even slightly tired. I looked at my new subskill. [Kindness in the Blood] was the second of the three effects that made [Blood of the Sacrificed] valuable in a serious fight. As I was a Dreamer, I wasn’t getting the full value from it, but it was still highly potent battlefield healing. It wouldn’t work to heal injuries unless they were dream-related, but any injury suffered within a dream would be. The only issue was that the skill wouldn’t affect me, leaving it only useful as a support skill, and as the awkward weapon it had historically been.

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I had been focusing on balancing my upgrades, and I intended to continue doing that, but I finally had enough Quanta to have a chance to buy S-ranked gear in the player marketplace. Now would also be the best time to buy it, since the cost of upgrading it was still moderately prohibitive for people who lacked allies with good AOE abilities. Later, there might be more on sale, but there would also be more who desired it, while right now I could hope to get one for as little as thirty-thousand quanta.

Admittedly, I also would need that Quanta for fulfilling my contract, but ultimately it was better to spend my Quanta rather than hoard it. After a few minutes of setting parameters, I had a list of S-rank equipment I could afford that was currently on the player marketplace.

---

25,000: [Weaver of Lustful Souls (S, lv.1) : +50% Offensive Spiritual Stats, Locked Hidden Properties]

27,000: [Reaper of Death (S, lv.1) : +100% Classless Stats, Locked Hidden Properties]

27,500: [Child of Darkest Light (S, lv.1): +50% Defensive Spiritual Stats, Locked Hidden Properties]

33,333: [Kindest Venom (S, lv.1): +50% Spiritual Stats, Unlockable Hidden Property: +10% Amplification to “Compassionate” and “Corruptive” Skills, Locked Hidden Property]

---

All S-ranked gear had hidden properties, but even with the pruning, it was a shock to have found one with a hidden property I could use. Usually it was a nightmare to unlock hidden properties, so finding one where I already met the condition was a massive boon. Usually, in order to unlock hidden properties, you had to interact in a “fitting” manner with the entity or event depicted. In some cases, a property would no longer be obtainable, in which case that property would be referred to as “Sealed”.

Amplification was a powerful upgrade, one of the few cases where gear didn’t merely directly affect stats. This was a direct multiplier to any abilities affiliated with Eris, as well as a few that didn’t, and an obvious pick.

[You have purchased Kindest Venom! You have 245 Quanta Remaining.]

[Due to the spirit of “Eris Omelas” within you, its amplification property will be unlocked for you!]

I took a minute to check which skills it applied to.

{Of the skills you possess, [Beast in the Blood], [Blood of the Sacrificed] and [Mirrored Night] are “Corruptive”. [Blood of the Sacrificed] is “Compassionate”}

Well, that was going to be very useful. I had previously had some other upgrades in mind, but now I was going to raise this as far as I could before taking any further upgrades.

[You have 97,017 Potential]

[You have spent 70,000 Potential to raise “Kindest Venom” from level 1 to level 4!]

[You have spent 12,800 Potential to raise “Usurpation By Fire” from level 8 to level 9!]

[You have spent 12,800 Potential to raise “Lake of the Sacrificed” from level 8 to level 9!]

[You have 1,417 Potential remaining]

[You have unequipped “Fae Glass Dancers” and equipped “Kindest Venom”]

Unequipping ‘Fae Glass Dancers’ left my body feeling worse almost immediately. It wasn’t that it had meaningfully harmed me in any way, but I’d lost the multiplier to Physique the equipment provided, and the abrupt drop was fairly noticeable. I wouldn’t be able to equip it again for a while, but if I saved up my Quanta, I might be able to buy an additional gear slot. Of course, by the time I managed that, I might be able to afford something better to put in the slot, even with the inevitable inflation when S-rank gear became optimal for most adventurers.

In truth, Physique was a bad stat for a Dreamer. My ability to survive was more enhanced by Dream Resilience, and my ability to kill things was more enhanced by Dream Manipulation and Dream Potency. The only thing that Physique would genuinely help with was movement, and most Dreamers figured out how to get abilities that coordinated with their focused stats quickly.

However, it was the only stat that was truly tied to my body. Only Dreamers could invest in Dream stats, but every human ‘player’ alive had a Physique stat. The improvements to Physique made me feel better in a way that none of my Dreamer stats had, and the lessening was the same thing in reverse. I wasn’t going to continue raising it until the price was trivial, but the drop was uncomfortable.

I glanced through my messages. I’d gotten some spam, but nothing from my sister. I left my bedroom and wandered the campus absentmindedly. Any bloodstains there might’ve been had been cleaned by now, but signs of the shutdown still remained. Some of the windows were shattered and boarded over, and claw marks in the stone walls weren’t as rare as they should have been.

I zoned out, looking through forums as I paced, and so I didn’t see K approach.

“Are you too stupid to sleep?” She asked, suddenly.

I startled, “You could say that, but I feel well rested.”

“If you’re going to be up either way, I have a question for you. Are your team being jerks?” K asked, “If need be, we can reassign you.”

“They’re fine.” I lied. I’d rather know where they were than not. Maybe I could even convince Copper not to pick a fight with me. (1)

“If they're adequate allies, then I have another question.” K said.

She tapped at what must’ve been her system’s screen, and a message landed in my inbox. I opened it to see a color-coded version of the map March had shown me. It was split into green, yellow, red and black sections, with pins in some places. I recognized where we’d been sent today as red, and the previous days as yellow. Each was pinned.

“This is an approximation of how many monsters each area has, with reports from those on the borders and some scouting drones we had.” K said, “Red is the worst areas we’ve been sending the volunteers into so far, excluding the team with Mimic and I. Black has at least twice the monster density of red, and it gets worse from there.”

I looked at the map. A large portion of the green had pins, and only a handful of red areas had pins.

“Most of the teams aren’t managing to clear their assigned red area before they have to retreat, either because of time or injury.” K continued, “The fact that the black zones are staying black suggests there are still a significant number of survivors, but only a handful of teams are even handling the red zones. Mimic and I have delegated our responsibilities and are focusing on getting our teams to evacuate the black zones, but this is more than we can handle alone.”

“What’s the question?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t ask you to volunteer your team for this,” K said, “But I trust you to know your limits more than the others. Do you think your team could handle evacuating in this?”

“I couldn’t. At least, I couldn’t escort them out safely.” I said, “Not unless you dramatically reduced the slices of territory. The monsters are getting stronger, and protecting the buses was already difficult yesterday. I could get in, and I could defend a fixed point. I couldn’t evacuate them without fatalities.”

“If you didn't have to protect people, could you survive?” K asked.

“I can.” I said, “I have faith Marie can handle her part as well. Copper might have more trouble.”

“Got it.” K said, “You should get some more sleep. If your team can handle it, you might wind up running short on sleep for a while.”

I sighed, “Will do. Ping me if you have further questions.”

K didn’t respond, already strolling away.

I sighed, and went back to bed.

---

When I woke, there was a message from March for the team.

---

March Sarakin: There’s a job we’d like to see you do, but it’ll be tricky.

March: Meet at the library to discuss it with us, please.

---

(1) I had hope that Copper might not hate me. Marie was set in her ways, but Copper only feared the power I held over him. If he understood I really had no plans with it, that might change things.