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Chapter 57 - Tinker Fast

Chapter 57

Bobby Keithson was on stage and in his element. The band had decided that, due to the nature of the event, they wouldn’t play any of their original songs. They would stick to the 90s covers that were so popular back home at the bar. They also created a setlist of songs and bands with aquatic themes. Bobby was scanning the crowd as they started an acoustic version of Aqua’s “Barbie Girl.” He sang out, adding a touch of melancholy to the bubble gum lyrics, crafting a soothing sound that could sit in the background while people mingled around in the magical underwater party hall. He watched June and Jax, politely maintaining conversation with their mother’s friends and acquaintances, who probably only showed up to see if they could get some screen time in next month’s Top Seed episode. Most of his other teammates were weaving through the crowd with plates of food from the food trucks positioned out in the Aquerium’s courtyard.

It was between “Barbie Girl” and Weezer’s “Surf Wax America,” that Bobby finally spied what he was looking for. After he and Joel had overheard The Show talking to Solomon about how they had apparently rigged The Culling to only allow “distinguished Herald families” into the competition, Bobby hadn’t been able to dismiss the idea that maybe he could be related to one of The Council members. And, tonight, at this very moment, he was watching three of said council members making their way to the Shark Room for drinks at the bar.

“Hey Jerod, I need to take care of something. Mind DJing for a bit?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” the guitarist grinned.

“No Trip Hop. Keep it classy,” Bobby reminded his oldest friend, as he slipped off the stage and made his way over to the Shark Room. He looked back at the band and glanced up at the giant screen mounted above the stage that showed the live tally of Shortfin Mako’s OnyxSocial followers versus Invictus’. Shortfin currently had just over 500 thousand followers on her account, while Invictus was at 1.1 million. Bobby sighed and continued to the bar area. He tried to be more focused on the competition and The Tycoon challenge, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that some larger conspiracy was afoot.

As he made his way through the crowd, Bobby brushed shoulders with Ralph, who was talking to the super secret surprise entertainer he had lined up to close out the night. If he had had time to intervene, Bobby would have nipped that conversation right in the bud, but he only had a small window to execute his plan to find out if he could possibly be related to Flint, Solomon, or Ricky. He had decided to start with the current council members and work his way outward to those Heralds not on The Council, but still in their circle of influence. If he got really lucky, maybe one of these three held the answer to a question he had pondered for his whole life: who had discarded him 21 years ago?

The Shark room was buzzing with energy, the small space crowded with people lined up to order their beverage of choice. Behind the bar, Joel was struggling to keep up with demand. Growing up around a bar, Bobby had seen this many times before: bartenders who were not cut out for the profession, struggling to keep up and mis-pouring incorrect ratios of alcoholic liquids into vessels ill-suited for the drink selected. Bobby turned on the charm, walked up behind his buddy, and turned to the waiting councilmen. “What are you three esteemed gentlemen drinking?”

“Whisky. Neat.” Solomon answered.

“Make that two,” Flint followed up.

“I’d like a cosmopolitan with extra sugar around the rim and a Diet Coke,” Ricky Diamond followed up.

“Got it! Two Ron Burgundys and a Sex and The City!” Bobby said as he started picking out the top shelf bottles and preparing four glasses for the pour. He grabbed three tumblers for the Scotch and Diet Coke and a margarita glass for the Cosmo. The three Heralds headed over to a small hightop table a few paces from the bar.

“Well, this event is a breath of fresh air!” Solomon said. “I may have some bias here, but while the All-Stars event was certainly classy, this one is far more fun.”

Mr. Diamond nodded his head and, with a mouth full of bar nuts, said, “Agreed! That band is great. I wonder if they will play YMCA?”

“I believe Nirvana Neverland is a nineties-themed cover band,” The Show replied. He was clearly exhausted from his night placating his braggadocious colleague.

Once the drinks were ready to go, Bobby whispered to Joel, “Hey man, can you go tell Shortfin that it's time for her speech?”

“Is it?” Joel whispered back.

“I have no idea. Just do it!”

“Okay, okay.” Joel didn’t know what his roommate was up to, but he set off to find the young activist hero anyway.

Bobby waved Connor over to man the bar before stepping away to deliver the tray of drinks to the trio of Heralds. “Here you go, fellas! Two Scotch Whiskeys straight up, and a cosmopolitan with a side of Diet Coke.” He then stepped out of sight where he could linger until the three were distracted. His plan had the added benefit of allowing for a little eavesdropping, but these three would never discuss any secret plans in such a crowded public arena.

“So… which ones are your grandkids?” Ricky Diamond asked Solomon as he sat upright to look around the event space.

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“Discrete as per usual,” Solomon answered. “I think it’s fairly obvious. I believe there are only two competitors with my particular complexion.”

“Well, I didn’t want to assume,” Mr. Diamond responded brashly.

Solomon rolled his eyes as he sipped his whiskey, “How progressive of you.”

“How dare you…”

“Would you two cut it out,” Flint interrupted the bickering. “All evening, you have been going at it! Let’s not give anyone anything to talk about, shall we? Let’s enjoy our beverages and get ready for tonight’s judging.”

“What’s there to judge?” Ricky asked. “One team, probably The All-Stars, will get more followers. Simple.”

“No. Not simple. There’re also the individual points that need to be given out. You do know how it’s going to work, right?” The Show clearly had little trust in, or patience for, The Tycoon.

“You worry too much Showy Show!”

Flint bristled at Ricky’s condescending nickname. Under his breath he muttered, “This night can’t end soon enough,” and downed his drink.

“One down,” Bobby thought, “two to go.”

Then, over the PA system, Jerod’s voice sounded, “Please turn your attention to the stage for some words from the woman, of the hour, the brand new Herald… Shortfin Mako!” This was the distraction that Bobby was waiting for. Solomon and Ricky hadn’t quite finished, but Bobby wasn’t going to get a better opportunity. Slinking over to the table, Bobby affixed the gloves from his costume, and started reaching past each councilman to carefully remove each tumbler from the table. He had decided that the margarita glass might attract too much attention. A floating pinkish-red object floating past their face might give Bobby away. While Shortfin Mako spoke about her involvement with the Oceanic Preservation Foundation and how it led her to becoming a Herald, Bobby deftly maneuvered two of the tumblers onto his tray. He saved The Show’s tumbler for last, thinking that since it was empty anyway, he wouldn’t bat an eye at having his server remove the vessel from the table.

As Bobby reached past Flint to grab his glass, a hand grabbed his arm, “What do you think you’re doing,” The Show accused. Bobby looked like a deer in headlights. He was stuttering, trying to think of an excuse, when Flint said, “You forgot The Tycoon’s embarrassing drink. Please remove that monstrosity from my sight!”

Ricky started laughing a booming laugh from his belly, not caring that he was disturbing the entire bar area from hearing Shortfin speak. “I’m about to leave anyway, go ahead, kid! I’ve got some decisions to make before the final boardroom.”

While Shortfin and the OPF CEO made their speeches, Bobby carefully broke each of the tumblers so that he had a few shards with DNA from each Herald and secured the useful glass pieces in a paper bag in a safe space in the bar’s freezer. By the time he was sure everything was safe, Ralph was finishing up auctioning off the donated sports memorabilia and Napa trip. Bobby needed to hurry to make it to the stage to introduce the special musical guest. He looked up at the monitor to see how far behind they had fallen, but noticed that their numbers were climbing.

He found Joel backstage and asked, “Yo, how are we catching up?”

“Weren’t you listening to Shortfin’s speech?” Joel answered Bobby’s question with another question.

“I was a little distracted. What did she say to cause this uptick in followers?”

“She had everyone in the crowd livestream her speech and then announced that if they wanted to donate to OPF, she would match all donations made through the link embedded on her OnyxSocial account. And then she made the account private, forcing people to follow to display the link.”

Bobby looked surprised… because he was. “Who thought of that little plan?”

“Ralph.” Joel answered quickly.

“Ralph?” Bobby was even more shocked.

“Right!?” Joel laughed. “I guess you know better than anyone that book’s covers and their content don’t always match.”

“So, I’ve heard.” the young goth punk replied. “Although, I may have to take that little platitude a little more seriously.”

Just then a pretty blond in a glittery sequined costume walked over to Bobby. “Hey ya’l! We gonna do this?” she asked with a wide smile. “I’ve been talking to your little friend and we have a little plan to push this little challenge over the edge.”

“Thanks,” Joel said before Bobby could respond, “But I’m not sure a win is possible for us.”

“You clearly don’t know who I am. Watch and learn, kid!” the southern-sounding blond said as she kissed Joel on the cheek, pulled out her Onyx Phone, and stepped onto the stage.

Ralph introduced her, “Thank you all those who made generous bids, we have one more surprise for you all. Closing out tonight’s entertainment, please join me in welcoming to the stage… Tinker Fast!

Tinker grabbed the microphone from Ralph and said, “Hello, Roquefort! If you don’t mind, before I start, I’m gonna send out a little message to my fans at home and online. She raised her phone as if taking a selfie and started broadcasting to the world.

“Hello Tinkies! I’m here with my girl, Shortfin Mako,” she spun her phone to capture Shortfin waving back at her and the fans through the screen, “I’m not sure if y’all know the great things she’s been doing to help save the environment, but she’s taking it to the next level and has become a Herald!” She blew a kiss to Shortfin and turned the phone back to record herself. “And, I’m about to do a few songs for the crowd here, buuuut, I think y’all deserve to share in the fun, too! Right!? Anyways, I’ve decided that you all deserve a little party favor, even though you weren’t able to be here in person. Sooo, if y’all go and follow Shortfin Mako using the link pinned to this broadcast, you will be able to stream or download my new single, ‘Liminality,’ a week early. And not only that, if you do it in the next hour, I will donate one dollar for every stream to the Oceanic Preservation Foundation. How does that sound to everyone?” The crowd erupted in cheers. “Okay, it’s time to debut my new song, ‘Liminality!’” As her band started to play, Tinker Fast handed her phone off to her assistant in the front row of the crowd and began to perform as only an icon can.

Bobby looked up at the screen showing the followers for each team, hoping that an hour would be enough time to close the nearly half-million follower gap between Invictus and Shortfin Mako. But, within minutes, The Challengers team had eclipsed the All-Stars’ total and were well on their way to a blowout victory.