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The Death Of Hope

The Death Of Hope

Scott looked at her with an infuriatingly cold indifference. It hurt more than the angry words he had said to her five years ago right before disappearing. He was thinner. Muscular without being muscled. He had changed his hair style. It was shorter and cleaner, but was also balanced with a short, neatly groomed beard. It suited his face. He wore what looked like cheap aviator sunglasses, so he had changed to contact lenses or gotten lasik. He looked good.

“Annalise… this is a surprise.” he said to her evenly. Emotionlessly.

Not Annie, like he used to call her in better times. In the past. When he still loved her. She wished he would call her Annie like he used to. He removed his sunglasses and hung them from the neck of his t-shirt. She loved that color of his gray-green eyes. She wondered if it was a surprise because he never intended to ever see her again?

When they last parted she had every intention of trying to mend things, to make it right between them. She had stopped talking to Bram, blocked him and swore to never go to the bar he liked to again. She had wanted to tell Scott that she was sorry, to atone for her sins and do whatever it took to make things right. Instead, a few days later he removed the odds and ends he had left at her apartment while she was at work and left the spare key she had made for him on the coffee table. Until this moment she had not seen him again. By the time she had found her way back to Bram’s favorite bar, when she finally accepted that Scott really was gone, he had moved on as well. Permanently, it seemed.

“You look well,” he said with the same enthusiasm as someone commenting on the weather.

Five years… She had dated off and on. And though many of her girlfriends were getting married and trying to match her with friends of friends and coworkers, she resisted getting serious with any of them. More often they were placeholders. She needed a date for a dinner or event. She had a spare ticket to a show. Or, so she wouldn’t be lonely. Short term flings. Boring sex. Lackluster dates. Men that weren't Scott.

In the back of her mind she knew who she wanted. But, he was absent. So she waited. It was pathetic, she knew it. Her friends called her fickle, perhaps she was. What it really meant was she kept most men at arms distance. In the back of her mind she always had a hope that whatever they had both done in the years they were apart she could bridge the gap and bring him back to her.

She had heard from the friend of a coworker that worked at this hotel that he was back in town for a conference. She asked if he was with anyone and he said he checked in with someone named Ronny Villarreal. Hope surged through her. She had debated with herself for a few days on whether she would go see him. After a lot of thought she made her choice before backing out. She bribed that same friend of a coworker who worked here to give her his room number. She was embarrassed to say she waited for him to leave rather than knocking for about an hour.

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“Scott…” she tried on a nervous smile, “how have...”

A voice interrupted her. “Honey? Where are you?”

The voice was followed by a prettily dressed younger woman. She had a Latin American accent and the rich dusky brown skin and black curls to go with it. She was short, only reaching his chin. Her face was heart shaped and though not overly pretty it was comely. She was curved in the hips and breasts in a way that Annalise tall willowy frame never would be. She was also heavily pregnant and it was only then that Annalise noticed the wedding ring on her left hand cradling her stomach. She closed the hotel room door behind her.

“Oh! Hello,” she greeted Annalise warmly with a smile.

“Uh, hi…” Annalise responded suddenly feeling very out of place.

Scott turned his head to look at the woman, “Ronnie, are you ready to go? My parents are already at the restaurant,” he said to her.

“We can stop for a few minutes if you want to talk. To catch up with…” she looked at Annalise skeptically, “an old friend…?” Ronnie asked, letting the end of the sentence hang.

“Nah, that’s okay. We need to go.” Turning to Annalise he said, “Like I said, it was a surprise seeing you again.” He wrapped his left arm around Ronnie’s shoulder. Annalise noticed his gleaming wedding band as he did so. With a faint smiling of the eyes he said “You be well, okay?” It was a clear dismissal.

Scott turned Ronnie towards the elevator and walked her down the hall. While they walked away she heard Ronnie ask Scott, “Who was that? It was rude to not introduce us.”

“It's okay, she was just someone that I used to know.”

As he said this his hand moved down to her lower back and bottom and caressed it. Annalise walked to the other end of the hall to a window overlooking the parking lot. She watched out of the corner of her eyes as they shared some light PDA while waiting for the elevator. Then after the elevator doors closed they were gone.

From the window at the end of the hall Annalise watched the two walk to their rental. Before Scott helped her get in he pulled Ronnie in for a kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He whispered something to her and chuckled when she ducked her head into his chest. Annalise noticed the blush and furtive glance around the lot. She then mouthed ‘not here’ to Scott and glanced around the parking lot once more. Ronnie then caught Annalise spying on them from the upstairs window. She ducked again into his collar and let Scott help her into the car.

Then he was gone again. Like five years ago. And Annalise was alone once more.