I sense footsteps by the waters edge.

Submerged as I was, those steps were heavy.

Ripples starting gentle, growing in strength.

Shaking my form with each step, forcing me to brace against the tide.

Or break against it.

Quite strong.

What should I do?

It's bothersome.

Rude.

Obstinate.

But is it worth fighting over?

Doubtful, that.

But leaving it be...

That was not me.

I walked alone.

No one was beside me.

The streets empty.

A blank world.

I walked and walked.

The waves breaking from my steps.

Gentle, smooth.

Silent.

My path was unnoticed.

And one last step. Harder this time.

Thump. The whole world shook upon my appearance.

The faint waves broken to sea foam.

I placed my hand on their shoulder.

And flinched.

Shook. My skin frozen over with a chill far worse than the day prior.

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It was cold. Too cold. Far too cold.

I shivered in the unbearable cold.

"My, my. So afraid of an old friend?"

She laughed.

Pretender, liar! Monster. Terror.

It which walks and talks, breaths and smiles.

But will never forgo their happiness.

She continued, taking my hand off. As she held it in hers. Letting it drop after a few rubs.

"I see. You've gone so overboard with your desperate heroism, you forgot to take care of yourself. You've lost your mind.

Running, running, running until the screams stop in the back of your head. Wretched fool. How dare you call that peace?

How dare you call me a pretender, while hanging your own neck and pulling it tight!"

She did not slap me.

She did not look at me with malice.

Turning her eyes away.

She took a few steps away. To give me time to process.

I said blankly.

"I have not changed. Not once. I am still all that I am. We lived once. Or rather, you lived and I was alive for you. It was not all pretend. It was real.

But it would never last. I told you. I told you, this would happen.

But you thought I was less broken.

You thought I could make it.

I tried.

I snapped.

That I could not do.

I couldn't do it.

This? This, I can try.

It won't end well. But it'll be enough.

I don't want more, I'm not greedy like you."

She squeezed hard.

"Bastard. Wretch. Like me?

Are you taking me for a dullard like you?

You do want more.

You want to be happy. Living a life like me.

But you won't be satisfied being happy.

As long as one useless stranger cries.

Your disgusting empathy. You always stick your neck out for people who couldn't care less if you were hurt.

Yet I'm the only one who tried to care just as much. Back.

They won't. They'll never. And you're happy with that. Knowing your heart will rot, as you play the chained mutt.

Would a single one of your chains approach you to help, If they never found out that you needed help?

Of course not. And 'I'm' the monster for letting them rot. They could see you being beaten to death and some of them would just run for their lives. Not once noticing how you yourself is making no attempts to run.

Delaying the killer with your own skin, flesh and blood.

To save the few you want to save out of a crowd.

Sure, I would trip someone and make sure we both get out alive.

Maybe even trample someone in the .

But you. You piece of shit.

You would trick me into running, threaten me with your own life. Trick others into saving me. Having them hang around me as a group for protection. While spinning back around and charging at the guy with a chainsaw.

You would lose an arm, a leg, another arm, another leg.

Something important. More and more and more. Until you break completely.

And if you still have your goddamn lips.

Do you know what you would do?

My fucked up friend?"

"Smile."

She scoffed. Hard, loud, angry.

"Yeah. Smile.

After all that you would smile. Because in your eyes, nothing important was lost. And something important was saved.

Fuck you."

I stood alone.

Still alone.

Was it raining.

Was it cloudy.

I was not asking.

They looked at me.

"None of them understand what you are doing. Even if you're blind, you would see it. How heavy the blade hanging above your neck is. And why."

She left. And I had forgotten all about my goals today. Left with that as a reminder.

I did not walk with steps unwavering.

They wavered. Like a poor balancing act, Across a wire made of thin metal entwined threads.

I was not afraid to fall. I already have.

It was... tedium to climb back up and walk again, on steps unsteady, till I could walk no more.

But I did not fear being unable to walk.

I feared not walking.

When walking led a little further, and a little further was all I wanted to go.

I did not want much more.