“I’m just the back-up friend.” I whispered, alone in my room. I glance at the clock and watch as it turns to midnight. I think I’ve always sort of known how they thought of me. I’m always the last person. The last person they ask to hang out with, or the last to be invited to things. They always shove me to the back of the group or to the end of the table. I’m only there when no one else from the group is there. As my mind races to recount all the evidence, I feel something warm and wet sliding down my cheeks. I’m just the back-up friend and that’s all they’ll ever see me as. A wave of tiredness swept over me and I fell into slumber.

When I went to school the next morning, I made it a point to avoid my so-called friends. I lasted until lunch. There was nowhere else to sit. I was trapped. When I sat down at the table, I was bombarded with questions. I could hear ‘where were you?’s and ‘where have you been?’s.

“I’m just the back-up friend.” I muttered. No one heard me and they all yelled for me to speak up.

“I’M JUST THE BACK-UP FRIEND!” I yelled, my sadness twisting into anger.

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“You all have never treated me like I was your friend! I’m always the last one invited to things, I’m shoved to the back of the group all the time, and the only time you guys speak to me is when no one else is around!” All of my thoughts spewed out. They all held a look of shock on their faces. They either hadn’t realized what they’d done, or thought I didn’t mind. I watched as they tried to form words, but they ended up staying silent. I walked away from them and just hid in the library for the rest of lunch. I didn’t see them for the rest of the day and all the group chats were silent.

“I woke up the next morning to cops at my door. Apparently, they had been murdered, and the cops suspected I had done it.” Just breathe, you got this.

“So, they took me in for questioning. I went to school and then came home.” Stay calm. The school has me on camera, so I have an alibi for that timeframe. I rode the bus home, alibi. My parents were already home when I got home, so they can vouch for me.

“We ate dinner, and I went to my room to study. I’m not sure what time I fell asleep that night, but I was exhausted.” I sniffed and kept pretending to be sad. I have to lie to cover my tracks. Were my ‘friends’ murdered? Yes. Did I kill them? Also Yes. Does anyone know it was me? Nope!

I had snuck out of the house after it got dark. I made sure I had a way back inside and that I had made it seem that I was in bed. I walked all the way to Katelyn, the leader’s, home. It wasn’t too far away, and I got there in no time. I adjusted my gloves and snuck into the house. All the lights were off and not a sound could be heard. I wasn’t expecting them to be having a sleepover, but it meant I wouldn’t have to walk to everyone’s houses. I moved quickly and made sure I was silent. I cleaned up most of the mess and left as soon as I was done. I hurried home and buried the evidence with our old dog, Floof. I crept back to my room and fell asleep, knowing that I won’t have to deal with them anymore.

No one will be treating me like a back-up friend anymore.