"'Beg your pardon ?"
The question shot past Kirk's lips, straight into the dimly lit conference room. He had misheard surely.
In his defense, rookie detectives could be difficult to understand at times
"Ehm... He... Uh...", crimson lit up the greenhorn's face as he visibly struggled to recover.
"He has been stealing lightbulbs from public lamposts", an older detective interjected in a sigh.
Damn.
Kirk's eyebrows shot up.
He had misheard again. Maybe those unions guys were right after all, superheroes should retire by 40.
"Let me see if I got this straight.", a fluttery wheeze came from Kirk's neighbor, "You assembled an elite task force of the country's greatest superheroes here.".
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
No questions on that one, Kirk silently agreed as his eyes flitted across the crowded table. Nightstalk, Flame, Impress, ... That was more than enough to take on the entire Hall of Heroes.
"You want us to work together in order to bring in Apokalyptos.", the voice continued.
So far so good, as far as Kirk was concerned. The veteran superhero would sooner face the entire Association than take on that freak of nature on his own.
"Because he has been stealing lamposts across the country.", the sentence fizzled out in a nervous laugh.
Oh.
So he had gotten it right the first few times.
Lamposts ? What was wrong with that nutjob ?
Lamposts ? Benches, cables, lamposts, ... Did that guy take himself for an amusement park tycoon ?
They were actually to take on Apokalyptos for lamposts ?
"Just the lightbulbs.", the experienced officer confirmed, "He does not take the lamposts. Something about inefficient storage.".
*Poof*
Well, there went Nightstalk. And Flame. And...
Actually, it was easier to count the people still in the room.
5 people, or the number of people without instant movement abilities. Also known as - in Union terms - not enough people to scrap the paint on the supervillain's armor.
The chair's wheels squeaked on the plastic floor as Kirk jumped to his feet and resolutely walked out of the miniature deathtrap.
It was high time he paid those Union guys a visit.