Chapter 31 - The Voices in His Head, Pt. 1

We all have voices that shape our journey through life. There are the inner voices that can guide us, such as our values, our reason and our emotions, and there are the voices of those around us, offering advice and new perspectives. Most people think there is a clear separation between the two. However, when the boundaries of the mind dissolve, we realise that there is no distinction.

—*——*—

The stormy skies had finally cleared, the rain giving way to icy winds that Luan swore came straight from the Icefall Caves. It was bone-chillingly cold. But he was used to it, having grown up in a town cold enough to have its own Ice-Type Gym. He could handle a little winter.

“Breathe in, breathe out. Clear your mind.”

A sharp gust hit him from behind, making him shiver. He squeezed his eyes shut, determined to press on.

“Let everything go. Quiet all the voices down. Breathe in—”

“Boooo-ring!”

Luan flinched. “Not boring. Useful. Come on, breathe in…” he thought, drowning out the intrusion.

“Let’s do something else, pretty please?” The words echoed in his mind, despite his efforts to keep them at bay. Although these sounds lacked actual physical properties, he could easily describe its attributes. This particular voice was light and playful, like a mischievous child, with a hint of smugness.

“I’m meditating,” Luan spoke out loud, hoping the others would get the hint. To emphasise his point, he even hummed a meditative chant.

“I hate to intrude, but I do not believe you are doing this correctly, Master Luan,” another voice, otherworldly and more monotonous, cut through his thoughts. Unlike the first, this one was devoid of any easily describable characteristics, yet it always sent a chill down his spine.

“I’m sure not,” Luan muttered, opening his eyes. He sat cross-legged on a rock by a small lake near the caverns. Menace, his Hoothoot, was angrily flapping her wings above the water. For once, she was the only one allowing him some peace. “I need silence to meditate. Come on, you guys.”

His words had the opposite effect. He aimed for peace and quiet and what he got was… Menace. The Hoothoot let out an angry chirp, then swooped down and pecked his head hard enough to draw blood.

“Ow! What was that for?” he exclaimed, raising his arms to protect himself. “We were making progress. You understood that pecking me was wrong…” he paused. “You… you did, didn’t you?”

“The beast thinks she is being excluded from our conversation,” the otherworldly voice spoke again. Luan glanced at his Lunatone, floating silently beside him. “Should I intervene, Master?”

Luan shook his head quickly, the motion only making Menace more annoyed. As her pecks quickened, the Lunatone emitted a series of crackling noises that in human terms would fall somewhere between laughter and a threat.

“You’re making things worse, Lulu,” Luan protested with his thoughts.

“It’s not our fault the psychic wannabe can’t join the group chat,” the child-like voice of Rev, his Munna, chimed in. The pink Pokémon floated closer, letting his stubby legs dangle lazily in the air.

“Maybe there shouldn’t be a group chat,” Luan thought, finally managing to grab the Hoothoot. She flapped and wriggled, trying to break free.

“Or maybe this abomination shouldn’t be here,” Rev retorted, blowing his trunk loudly at the bird. Menace squinted and pecked Luan’s hand, freeing herself. He winced. It was just a pinch, but these attacks were getting old. She immediately redirected her ire toward Rev, eyes gleaming like a predator.

“I concur with the dream eater,” the Lunatone added. “The beast thinks itself one of us. It’s absurd.”

“Can you believe she said she could learn to eat dreams!?” Rev fumed, curling into a ball to defend himself from Menace’s attacks. “That is MY thing. If she steals even one dream, that’s it. No more playing nice.”

The Munna inflated like a balloon and infused his body with psychic energy. Before the Hoothoot could attack Rev again, rings of energy pulsed through the air, like ripples in the water. Menace stopped just short of her next attack, restrained by the psychic grip. When Rev uncurled himself, his eyes glowed white-hot.

“I should trap this bird in my mists,” Rev’s thoughts zapped through Luan’s mind. “Make her spend the rest of her short, useless life living through her worse nightmare, over and over again, until she whittles away into nothing. She will beg me for the sweet release of death, but—”

Luan’s eyes bulged, and he quickly scooped his Munna from the air, breaking the psychic hold. “Easy there,” he said, exasperated.

Before he could deal with the chaos of his team, he heard a snort and footsteps approaching.

“You really need my help, huh?” The newcomer sauntered up, hands in his pockets, one eyebrow raised. “I’m busy, you know. This better not be a waste of my time.”

“I’m… I’m busy too, Rey,” Luan muttered, letting go of his Munna, who floated up in the breeze. He sensed Rey’s disdain, but sighed in resignation. “So… how do we do this?”

—*——*—

The previous day…

After Celeste’s battle ended, she dashed to the Pokémon Centre with Powder, dragging Luan and Delia along. They had missed Lorelei’s match, but the trainer with the Snorunt who faced her showed up shortly after.

“That Smoochum knows Sing,” the boy muttered, sulking. “Goddamn Sing. So yeah… after Snowy fell asleep, she used Pound until we were down. Should’ve known.” He kicked the air in frustration. Celeste even tried to console him, but all she got was another grumble.

After he left, she slumped into a chair beside Delia, sounding frustrated and scared despite the victory. “None of that matters if Powder’s not okay…”

Delia placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It’s normal to feel this way. Your Pokémon haven’t been hurt like this before, right?” Celeste nodded silently, and Delia continued, her tone gentle. “Remember when Lance Blackthorn became champion last year? The battles were so intense they had to space them a week apart to let his Pokémon heal. It’s normal for this to happen when battling.”

“How’s that supposed to make me feel any better?”

Delia blinked. “You didn’t watch, did you? Those battles were brutal.” She closed her eyes, recalling. “In one match, a Skarmory almost severed Lance’s Dragonite’s wing. Yet a week later, it was fully healed and fighting like nothing happened.” She smiled reassuringly. “If they can fix the big injuries, they can heal the smaller ones, too. Powder will be fine.”

Celeste looked away, a little embarrassed. “Everyone knows who Lance Blackthorn is,” she muttered, while Delia took the chance to nudge Luan to chime in the conversation.

“Noel’s poison isn’t that bad,” Luan began with a shaky smile. “Mia’s really good with poison. That’s why even her Delibird can use it. She didn’t even have to use a TM to teach it to him. But… think about it, how good can a Delibird really be? She barely trains him for battle.”

“So… a Pokémon that barely trains for battle beat Delia and almost took me down?” Celeste muttered. “Great.”

Delia shot Luan a warning look.

“I… uh. I mean, Noel can battle, obviously. It’s just that she mostly uses him for delivery. But he flies solo, so he has to know how to defend himself, you know?” Luan’s voice got squeakier with each word. He cleared his throat and gave the girls another weak smile. “W-What I’m trying to say is that it’s her Arbok that’s the scary one. Trust me. Rev has been on the receiving end of her poison waaay too many times…” He paused, noticing Celeste paling at the mention of Arbok, and Delia shooting him an angrier look. “But nothing serious ever happened to my Munna!” he quickly added. “You know he’s super healthy. Every time he got bitten, I gave him an antidote or took him to the Centre, and he was fine. You don’t have to worry about your Vulpix, Cee. She’ll be fine too.”

Celeste stared at Luan, pale and silent. It wasn’t until Nurse Joy called her that she snapped out of her daze and hurried into the infirmary, leaving him and Delia alone.

Luan’s heart pounded in his chest as an awkward silence filled the space between them.

“So…” Delia started, and Luan felt his face burn. “Does Mia really have an Arbok?”

He gulped and nodded slowly, struggling to regain his composure. Delia seemed to shine in the dim light of the Pokémon Centre’s lobby, making everything else fade away.

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“When I saw she had a Delibird, it made sense, somehow… She could save on mailing and all that,” Delia said, though her voice was distant. “But an Arbok? That sounds like a Pokémon for a serious trainer.”

“She isn’t…” His voice came out high-pitched, so he paused. His mind raced with a million thoughts, making it difficult to focus. “Mia just wants to make money to send over to her dau—” He abruptly cut himself off, realising he was about to reveal too much. He took a deep breath, trying to appear more composed. “She just wants to make money to help out our family. She found out being able to handle tough battles helps.”

Delia nodded, still lost in thought. “I guess it makes sense… She can get some extra money from battles and she does look like someone who can juggle a lot.” She stopped and locked eyes with Luan. “Is that what you want to do?”

He scratched his head, stepping into the light. “Make money? Who doesn’t?”

“No. I mean, do you want to work at Razzo and battle on the side, like her?”

Luan sighed. “My family can’t support me through a journey, and I don’t have influential contacts for sponsorship. What I have is Mia and her contacts at her job.” He leaned on a nearby column. “Razzo wants talented trainers under their banner. You’ve seen it. They even wanted to sponsor people here. If I work for them, or for them through Mia, while I keep training… I want to make sure it will be easy for them to spot me when my time comes.”

Delia looked at the darkness outside in silence, and Luan could only watch her.

“W-what are you th-thinking about?” he gathered the courage to ask.

“My future,” she said, tilting her head. “My options. I’m kind of jealous that you have it all figured out.”

He let out a dry chuckle. “I-Is that what I sound like? ‘Cause I feel the opposite.”

Delia smiled, but her smile soon turned into a yawn. “I think Cee will take a while longer. Should we call it a night?”

It didn’t take long for Delia to leave, waving goodnight to Luan. Before he could wave back, he found himself alone in the dark, battling the inner voice that told him Delia would reject him. That if he made a move, he would lose his friend too. That it wasn’t even worth trying.

He sighed, shoulders slumped, ready to head back to his boathouse. But, as always, there was another voice to pull him away. A laugh, smooth yet arrogant, echoed through the empty lobby. “That was really pathetic.”

Luan immediately recognised Rey’s voice.

“When Mother asked me to check on Celeste, I did expect something pathetic,” Rey said, making his presence known. “I thought I’d find her panicking over nothing, maybe even crying.” He stopped beside Luan with a twisted grin. “But this? This is sadder than anything she could pull off.”

Luan grumbled and pointed towards the infirmary. “If you’re looking for Cee, she went in with Nurse Joy.”

Rey shrugged. “You’re more interesting. Tell me, how come you always fumble so hard with Delia?”

“I—It’s not—N-none of your business,” Luan stuttered, trying to walk away, but Rey blocked his path.

“Indulge me,” Rey insisted. “It should be easy, right? You look at her, smile, and say, ‘Let’s go out, just the two of us.’ There’s nothing to it.”

“I…” Luan started, but put his feet down. “You’re worse than Celeste. Why do people keep meddling in my life?”

“My guess is Celeste cares about your happiness.”

“And what’s your excuse?”

“It’s sad to see such weakness,” Rey shrugged. “Say… why don’t we make a trade?”

Luan shook his head, trying to get to the door. “I’m not falling for that again. That stupid bet was nerve-wracking enough,” he said, with a half-hearted attempt to push Rey aside.

“Who said anything about a bet?” Rey moved out of his way. “I heard you caught that Lunatone in Hoenn recently. I just want some information about the region. If you give me that, I’ll help you be more confident.”

Luan stopped just as the door swooshed open. For better or worse, Rey was the most confident person he knew. He didn’t want all his… Reyness, but… this couldn’t hurt. He slowly turned around to see Rey smirking at him.

“Okay.”

He really hoped he wouldn’t regret this.

—*——*—

Today…

Luan reached into his pocket and pulled out a small printed map of southern Hoenn. “I contacted one of the Razzo people stationed there. He guaranteed there are wild Ralts around Route 102, but he said you should try going off-route, maybe to the forest in the south for better chances of finding one.”

Behind them, Luan’s Munna floated closer to his Lunatone, while his Hoothoot perched on a distant rock, looking angry and lonely.

“Perfect,” Rey said, examining the map. “I can take the ferry to the southern Orange Isles and from there, catch a ship to Slateport. Do you know how long it takes to reach...” He trailed his fingers across the map. “Oldale Town?”

Luan thought about it for a moment. He’d spent most of his time in Hoenn around Rustboro City, with a few trips to the Meteor Falls, where he caught Lulu, and the forests near the city. However, he did have some idea of the general geography of the place. “If you hike, it might take a week or two, but you could check for a bus or a train.”

Rey shrugged, his silver hair falling over his eyes. “That’s not the trainer way, Luan. Which brings us to our lesson on confidence. Mother mentioned there’s a new ranger in the area. We’re finding him, and you’re challenging him to a battle.”

“W-what?” Luan stuttered. He snatched the map from Rey’s hand, panic evident in his voice. “Shouldn’t we talk about Hoenn a little more? It’ll take what? One or two months and a lot of money for this trip. All that just to catch a Ralts? It’s honestly easier to get an Abra if you want a Psychic.”

Rey frowned and took the map back.

“I already have a Psychic in the making,” he said, touching the green Pokéball on his belt. “I need a Fairy. Preferably something more powerful and graceful than any stupid Ninetales.”

Luan stared blankly at him for a moment until it finally hit him. “You want to… out-fairy Celeste with a Gardevoir?” He couldn’t help but laugh a little. “I hate to break it to you, but Alolan Ninetales are still rarer around here. Plus protected and all that.”

“So is Larvesta,” Rey hissed. “But everyone seems to forget that while they drool over her stupid Vulpix.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose, recomposing himself. “Just… If a trainer like Celeste can do that much damage with a Fairy-type move, imagine what I could do with what is clearly a superior Fairy-type. The trip to Hoenn is a fair price to pay on my road to becoming the strongest champion Kanto has ever seen.”

Luan tilted his head. “You could have just said you wanted a Fairy to beat Champion Lance.”

“Please, who cares about some type specialist?” Rey put venom in those last two words. “He’s got too much hype because he has dragons. If Jasper doesn’t come back for his revenge, someone else with a more balanced team will. By the time it’s my turn to challenge the champion, I’m expecting to fight something truly powerful.”

Luan blinked in disbelief. Like everyone else (except Celeste apparently), he had watched Lance’s battles on television in awe. The sheer power of the champion was unlike anything he had ever seen. If anything, Lance had inspired Luan to become a trainer.

What could make someone so confident they’d dismiss a dragon master? The Dragon Master.

“Anyway,” Rey said finally. “Much as I hate to say these words, we are not here to focus on me. I think the caves are the best place for us to find that ranger.”

Rey started marching, and Luan fumbled to follow. “W-wait!”

“I told you not to waste my time,” Rey said, not looking back. “Just get your Pokémon and move.”

—*——*—

The cave was dark, save for the dim light radiating by Rey’s Larvesta’s horns. They could barely see where they were going, and despite Rey’s insistence that he knew the area, with each step, Luan felt increasingly certain this was a horrible idea.

“Is it me, or are these caves colder than they were last week?” Luan asked, moving closer to the Larvesta for warmth. “M-maybe we should go back? We’re not dressed for this much cold.”

Rey shook his head. “You won’t ask Delia out, you won’t challenge a trainer to battle,” he said in that condescending tone he often used with Celeste. “Tell me, Luan, is there anything you’re actually willing to do?”

Luan took a deep breath, his misty exhale visible in the frigid air. “I’m just saying it’s too cold in here.”

“You’ll never get anywhere if you keep waiting for things to happen to you.” Rey shrugged. “When was the last time you challenged anyone to a battle?”

“That’s easy. Never,” his Munna’s telepathic voice broke the silence. Rev and Lulu, despite being out, had been unusually quiet so far. Menace, meanwhile, perched on his shoulders, letting out angry chirps whenever she could.

Luan murmured in response. “I told Cee we should battle sometime.”

Rey scoffed. “Which means you haven’t even challenged her?”

“Dude, it’s creepy to just bring it up out of the blue, okay?” Luan said, trying to prevent his teeth from chattering. “What am I supposed to do? Stare at someone, and when they notice, tell them we locked eyes, so now we have to battle? It’s like… obsessive.”

“You can talk like a normal person, dude.”

Luan sighed. Having more battles would be good for his Pokémon… and for his confidence. Still…

“Okay, what about this? We go back to town and find someone for me to battle there?” Luan proposed, attempting to divert them from the cave. “This place is way colder than it was last week. It’s spooky.”

“The caves get their cold from the Pokémon that live here,” Rey said absentmindedly, squinting his eyes. If there was more to the explanation, he didn’t bother mentioning it. “I think I hear something.”

Luan strained his eyes to see, but around them, there was only darkness. Turning to his Pokémon, the two who were more adapted to the lack of light, he asked, “Lulu, Menace, can you scout ahead?” The Lunatone crackled in response and didn’t hesitate to go. The Hoothoot… just turned her face away, delivering another angry chirp.

“We keep telling you she is useless,” Rev blurted, filling Luan’s head with thoughts he didn’t want. “Hey, I have an idea. What if you trade her for a real psychic? That way, you won’t feel your efforts have gone to waste.”

Luan ignored his Munna and pleaded with the Hoothoot. “Come on, I know you want to be part of the team. You gotta help us out.”

Menace pecked him again, and Rey snorted. “Can you at least try not to be so pathetic?”

“What if you trade her for your friend’s Slowpoke?” Rev continued. On the side, the Hoothoot kept pecking at him, while Rey let out another judgmental chuckle. “Yes, the Slowpoke would be perfect… He has such delicious dreams. And it won’t even be bad for the bird. She likes the human girl.”

Rev kept talking, Rey kept laughing, and Menace kept pecking. Luan’s Lunatone still hadn’t returned, and the cold was biting.

“I’ll talk to Lulu, then it will be two against one for the trade!” Rev went on. “You’ll be outvoted.”

“I’m not trading her!” Luan finally snapped, shouting out loud to his Munna. When he realized everyone around him could hear, he immediately brought his hands to his mouth.

Someone once said words were like Decidueye’s arrows. Once released, you cannot take them back. Luan shot his arrow, and ironically, it hit another owl’s heart. The world stood still as Rey’s face morphed into a frown, and Menace slowly flapped her wings. There were no pecks, no chirps, only two large red eyes filled with tears.

“Mena—” Luan tried to reach out for her, but his voice came out high-pitched and broken.

Before he could say anything else, the Hoothoot unleashed a loud, piercing cry. It was her Echoing Voice. Only sadder. The sound bounced off the cave walls, and the entire world turned to fluttering wings and piercing squeaks as a colony of Zubat woke up, rattled by the noise. Amidst the ensuing chaos, Menace spread her wings wide open and into the darkness she vanished.

Luan looked around to see Rey’s Larvesta spitting fire at the Zubat, which prompted some Swinub to come out, probably annoyed by the rising temperature. Rey then released his Eevee and Capsakid to help with the battle. Leaves, fire, and ice… It felt like all elements were swirling around them. The quiet cave had become madness, and his Lulu still wasn’t back.

Unsure of what to do, Luan closed his eyes and silenced all voices other than his own. All he could think of was Menace.

With a surge of courage that rivalled Celeste’s recklessness, he puffed his chest and sprang up. For once, he didn’t hesitate, and with a large stride, he leapt away from Rey and towards the dark, cold cavern ahead. Towards his missing Pokémon. For once, his Munna, clinging tightly to his curls, didn’t say a word.

“What the hell are you doing?” Rey’s yells faded in the distance.

“Wait for Lulu,” Luan managed to answer. “I’ll meet you both outside.”