Olympian Gods are praised from the highest peak in Greece. There lies my birthplace, the palace of Mount Olympus, which mortals can not reach. A shit ass palace of marble & gold; but unlike the others I could freely travel between worlds. I had a strong feeling everyone was jealous, especially Aphrodite. So, I would bring random things: hearts, sticks, coins, limbs. I am a God who's a bit lazy.

I've spent most of my time being a snitch. I'm like the God who invented Karen's. I am more or less the God of information to keep myself in Zeus's good graces. Using cunning and wit, I hid my true intentions. I'll say a few words here and there, and an orderly chaos erupts that's neverending. If it wasn't for the food and wine, I would never go back.

Gods never take breaks. When I think about it, it always gives me a headache. It was one of our many silly policies enforced heavily. It took Hades storming the palace of Mount Olympus for Zeus to reconsider. Unbeknownst to everyone, Hades just wanted more snu-snu time with my sister. The whole incident landed me in a troublesome predicament. It all started on one uneventful morning.

This day was the day I came from my trip to Greece and the day I wish I remembered the least. It was a special day when all the Gods and Goddesses were supposed to meet. Zeus sat lazily on his marble throne with his favorite oak tree pin fastened at the shoulders, scoffing at the others. A gold thread embroidered silk garment befitting his status draped over his massive physique in a pomegranate color. Everyone was there except for his brother.

I was just relieved this time it wasn't me. I'm always the last to arrive and the first to leave. It's a "fun gathering" for the Gods and Goddesses. But really, it's a gathering for my exes. My father, Zeus, has a twisted sense of humor. He holds a grudge because I won't take up after him and become Mount Olympus's ruler. I had to do something about his mood since his mood affected my freedom and my future.

"O' almighty Zeus, the clouds and the stars make way for your godliness. No God, demigod, or mortal can deny your manliness. O' almighty Zeus, we have come to celebrate your strength and vigor. Your glory..."

Zeus mumbled something under his breath.

"...makes even Kronos from the depths of Tartarus shiver. What makes you so displeased on your marvelous marble throne? Have I or anyone here done something we must atone?" Hermes continued.

"What are you talking about, my boy?!" The sound of Zeus's voice distressed the birds soaring by the palace. His voice reverberated from the throne room open to the outer realm.

Everyone erupted into giggles.

Hermes excessively began to sweat from the roots of his golden hair to his perfectly tanned jawline. "Zeus. Ahem! Father," he said.

"You always had an awful silver tongue. If you're so upset, why don't you alleviate some of my troubles? Hmm?!" Zeus slammed his fists.

"Father, I-"

In no less than two heartbeats, a dark haze covered the ground. Every single God and Goddess had turned around. The dark haze was pouring out of the eyes and mouth of a frowning Hades. I was cheerful because his presence saved me from humiliation. It was too unfortunate how fast my appreciation turned into devastation.

"The great king of the underworld has finally made his grand entry! If you hadn't appeared, I would have been so empty." Hermes joyously cried phony tears.

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"Shall I go? I would ordinarily never be this late. It annoys me that you never ask why my dear wife never comes. Shame on you, my little brother. Is this the example you set for your children?" Hades sneered at Zeus.

"Pfft, I thought a thief had no feelings," Zeus chortled.

"ZEEEEEEUUUUUSSSSSS!" Hades gripped his fingers deep into one of the marble columns of the palace.

Hades hurled a marble column at Zeus in a fit of rage. The column broke apart on Zeus as he stood up to put Hades in his place. Hades didn't hesitate as the brute force of his punch pushed into the ruler of the Gods face. Up above, the thunder and lightning rumbled, earsplittingly loud. Time became slower as Ceranos descended from the clouds.

Ceranos, known as the thunderbolt, is lightning itself made in Zeus's image. The Cyclopes forged the divine weapon as a gift for the privilege of being released from the depths of Tartarus. Ceranos' ability to make infinite body doubles infused with Zeus's divine powers is why the weapon is treacherous.

Within a blink of an eye, Ceranos' two body doubles went behind Hades and kicked him in his back. Hades was brought down to his knees and appeared paralyzed for a moment from the attack. Aphrodite stepped forward to stop the two brothers from fighting any further.

"May I make a suggestion? Wouldn't it be easier for you, Hades, to find an assistant strong enough to handle your duties? Someone already familiar with the underworldly things you do, whatever that may be." Aphrodite's long chestnut hair brushed against her rosy cheeks as she gracefully bowed.

"I need someone capable of guiding the soul of a mortal. Mortals are very hostile once they die. It takes a long time to convince them to go to the next life," Hades complained.

"Doesn't that sound like an amazing job for Hermes? Right, Hermes?" Aphrodite smugly turned to look at Hermes, who was nowhere to be found.

I fled from the Goddess of love and beauty by the wings of Talaria of Mercury. The golden-winged sandals given to me by the God of metal and embers took flight so that I could escape her cruelty. I knew the first few words Aphrodite spoke was my cue to leave. Her beauty knows no bounds to both Gods and mortals, but I swear anytime I see that witch, she makes my crotch itch!

I adjusted my gigantic stature to mortal size so I wouldn't destroy the fragment of Ouranos as I broke through it and continued to fly. I had my suspicions that Ceranos was close by. I knew storm clouds were brewing because the air smelled like a mixture of burning wood and sulfur. I couldn't keep up with Talaria's speed and needed to recover. I barely dodged the surrounding thunder and lightning. I landed near the outskirts of a Greek city, hoping to avoid fighting.

I hurried to find a crowd of mortals to shield myself from Ceranos. Naive as I was, I found a few mortals to follow. Alas, I fell as I got swiftly struck by one of Ceranos' body doubles. The mortals didn't clearly see the perpetrator, nor did they assume there was any wrongdoing or bad behavior. Of course, they were mortified and confused. For all they knew, they had somehow lost their favor with Zeus.

"Ah!" a woman shrieked.

"O' mighty Zeus, what have your people done to deserve this?" a feeble old man begged.

Hermes' half-closed eyes fixated on a timid boy hiding behind the terrified woman.

The feeble old man suddenly shouted "have we not sung your name in high praises?! What more do you ask of us?!" He cowered in fear at the sky.

"Zeus, you still don't know when to cease. Olympus will never know peace. One of your wives will slay you in your sleep," Hermes thought.

"Must you punish this young man with your divine wrath?" The feeble old man wept.

The mortals refused to give me a proper burial because they believed I was a mortal Zeus hated. In the name of Zeus, they left my body untouched and deemed the land sacred. Ceranos reappeared once there was no mortal in sight. I continued pretending I was dead as Ceranos carried my body across the starry night sky.

I was escorted back to the throne room with my dignity defiled. Ceranos held me like a newborn child. Fortunately, my fortune didn't perish. There was no one else besides Zeus and Ceranos present. Pretending to be dead couldn't fool the ruler of Gods and men. My arrival brought forth a silence that felt like an eternity, even for an immortal like me.

"You're Hades' problem now," Zeus sighed.

"Have mercy," Hermes whimpered.

"Don't even think about running away. If you decide to disobey, you will spend your days exiled from Mount Olympus for eternity." Zeus looked away from Hermes with contempt.

"Did you ever love me? Father, please!" Hermes outcries as he's dragged out of the throne room by his feet.