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Shifting Seas
A Child's Despair

A Child's Despair

ᔯƻ୫૭ Łᛗ - Łⱥꞩⱦ Ꝑłⱥꞥ

I fell again.

My skin started glowing brighter as I expressed my short burst of frustration, and I had to focus to tamp my emotions down again. I'm honestly starting to get tired of my emotions at this point.

My only way of keeping time in this place is by getting past 50,000 stairs, so that I can count days based on the switching steps. I cant write on the void, so all that I have is my brain to help me keep track.

Well, to be honest, I stopped trying to count the days a long time ago, but at least I reached the point where getting past 50,000 steps is easy.

And getting honestly boring at this point.

I started using my hands to climb the stairs, and I even tried to walk on only my hands up the stairs once.

It was an interesting experience. But eventually, that got boring as well.

Oh, right.

I was falling.

The feeling of freefall in this black void used to scare me, and at one point I even relished the feeling of freefall. But now, its just another way for me to waste time in this place.

Another moment that I'm not climbing those stairs.

"I wonder if time even exists in this place"

Letting out a quick "breath", I focused on being productive. Its the only way I can keep myself sane at this point.

Okay Kis, lets run it all through my mind again.

"I'm currently facing my newest challenge, getting past step 100,000."

"Getting up there was hard enough for the first bit, but memorizing the changing patterns eventually got easy as well."

Every 10,000 steps, the stairs change "days", and at one point, even switched directions. Took me forever to figure that part out. After that, the stairs degraded into different jumps, falls, changing the directions I fall, and eventually I figured all that out.

But something strange happens at the final step.

Yes, I didn't think that incorrectly. The FINAL step.

"Oh, but it would be crazy to assume that there's a staircase that leads to nowhere, isn't it?"

That's the part that im struggling with.

The stairs just end abruptly, with no hint as to what's next.

I've tried everything that I could, jumping every which way, touching the last step, jumping as far as I can, and nothing works.

Feeling frustration building, my skin turned a bright orange and I yelled out to the endless void.

"NOTHING EVER WORKS!"

My hand slowly changes back to a shade of yellow, but it dimmed to a degree that I was familiar with.

A Dull color, one that seemed like it was pulling into itself, and it stopped radiating light.

Sometimes, emotions escape me.

"I've been here for so long, I think I'm forgetting how to feel."

"Well.... damn. That sucks, I guess."

I fell silent and allowed myself to fall, trying to clear my mind of any thoughts, and just rest for a minute.

After a few minutes of silence, a bright grey glow started emanating from my skin.

Okay, I'm bored already.

"Why does it take so long to fall off of this stupid staircase every time????"

Eventually, I hit the "floor" at an awkward angle, with my neck bent behind my back, my arms and legs twisted every way they shouldn't.

I stand up, walking back to where I knew the steps were, said hello to Sally, the first step of the staircase, sighed, and started the pointless climb once again.

ᔯ૭꘦ᔯ Łᛗ - Łⱥꞩⱦ Ꝑłⱥꞥ

I started counting the days again, because why not.

I don't know when I started counting again, so I had to start over.

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Today marks exactly 100 years!

Also, Its my birthday in a week!

I'm sitting next to my favorite stair buddy, stair 40,678, talking like all best buddies do.

"Jesse, Guess what!"

The near invisible stair sits there, but I know how to read them.

Its practically glowing with curiosity!!

"Its my birthday in a week!!"

"Okay, so maybe I did make it up. But I forgot the other one, so this is fair!"

We spend the next day or so chatting, and then Jesse puts on his serious face.

I roll my eyes. This is his way of letting me know that I should get back to climbing.

But the stairs are pointless to climb, and I want to celebrate my birthday.

"Jesssssseeeeeeee, do I really have to go climb the stairs again?"

Letting out a heavy sigh, I stood up.

"Fine. I'll go to the top again"

I close my eyes, just to spice it up. Its a habit I find myself liking recently. Then I have to focus more on my coordination than the stupid stairs.

Starting to climb again, I tune out the world around me and focus my thoughts.

This stupid staircase wont beat me again.

...

Its been about two days, and I can feel im getting close to the "top" of the stairs again.

What should I do this time?

Maybe the step is just really far away?

Purposefully ignoring the fact that I've already tried that, I start to run faster.

Five steps at a time now, I start relatively flying up the stairs.

Step 98,000

...

This is boring.

...

Stair 99,000

...

Step 99,205 - Frick you Terry.

...

Stair 99,520

...

I open my eyes.

Time to take this seriously.

...

Staircase designation 99,870

...

Finally, step 99,900

At step 99,900, I slow to a stop.

Deep breaths, calm down.

It's not a big deal if I fall again.

It's just another chance to get back up.

I walk down a few steps, until I find the eighth stair pattern.

Sitting down, I spend a few minutes in silence, contemplating what I could do to finally escape this prison.

...

Its been about an hour, and my brain cant come up with anything.

My skin turns a dull blue as I contemplate my options.

I'm too tired for this.

Eventually, my skin flashes bright orange, and I stand up.

Whatever, I'll just try running fast and see if there's a platform up there.

Feeling loads more frustrated than when I sat down, I face the next stair, and start the climb again.

I start to feel a desperation building in me.

Oh. I forgot what this felt like.

Pushing all other thoughts to the back of my mind, I focus on the desperation I feel.

I try to push the desperation I feel into my legs, pushing myself harder than I ever had before.

I need to get out of here

I have to

I'm going insane

Is this my chance?

Will I ever get out?

My "breathing" starts coming faster, pushing the panic I feel into my legs.

6 steps at a time.

Not enough.

Insecurities leak into my head, and I push them all towards running faster.

My breathing speeds up, almost to a feverish speed.

7 steps at a time.

Faster.

Some of my only remaining memories run through my head and I push myself even harder.

My mother - Her precious laugh the only thing I could remember.

My house - With green fields stretching to the horizon, with animals running rampant everywhere.

My stories - The people inside that inspired me to try so hard in my life.

The warmth, the breeze, the chill of winter. Memories long forgotten brush on my consciousness, too far away to remember.

I want to feel those again.

My breath comes harder, trying to calm the thoughts in my head as I push myself to my limits.

My skin starts to blur, a vibrant blue color, with hints of red flashing through my "skin" like veins.

9 steps at a time.

Its getting hard to think.

I'm starting to hyperventilate.

I have to get out.

THIS TIME IS THE LAST.

99,944.

10 steps at a time.

My skin is vibrating with a frequency I've never seen, and I'm running faster than ever before.

My brain is working on overdrive trying to remember what steps were which in time for me to run across them, barely able to process the amount of steps I have to take every second.

99,984.

For the first time in what feels like forever, I can feel my heartbeat again.

I don't have time to think about it, though.

The pounding starts ringing through my being, tearing through my head with a rhythmic BOOM.

My vision is starting to tunnel as my mind starts succumbing to exhaustion.

99,994.

I step as fast as I can, and soar over step 100,000.

I hang in the air for a few seconds, coasting forwards at a speed I was having a hard time comprehending.

Suddenly, the world turns pure white, burning my eyes.

My breath stops suddenly, and the world goes quiet.

My eyes open as wide as they can trying to absorb all of the knowledge I can.

The white light burns my eyes after an eternity of only seeing dull colors, but I cant help but stare around at it in wonder.

A large swath of bright blue manifests in the middle of the white light, In front of me, and I can see-

Is that a person?!

Then the Void, satisfied with the false hope it had given me, starts pulling me back into its embrace.

"NO!"

"NOT HERE"

"PLEASE"

"IM BEGGING YOU"

"LET ME OUT"

My voice breaks as the beautiful white starts to be filled with veins of black.

"PLEASE.... help.... me..."

The world fades fully black, once again.

and I fall.

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