Laira Noero

Reefer avoided me the entire following day. I wanted to talk to him, but, apparently, the feeling wasn’t mutual. With the first rays of sunlight, he rushed off to Norvek, a small village a couple of miles from Crower, and stayed there for lunch.

I didn’t intend to chase him. Sooner or later, that conversation was bound to happen. He couldn’t hide forever. There were two weeks left before he’d leave for Calderorck.

In the evening, he returned with a childhood friend. Sean Weed had always been a bad influence, taking Reefer to drinking parties and on dubious adventures. Despite this, Sean was an interesting man, and for the past few years, he had been trying to court me and add my name to the list of women he had conquered

“I hear someone’s looking for a husband for you,” he said while we were having dinner.

Perhaps I should’ve skipped dinner. Eating this late wasn’t healthy anyway. I wasn’t that young anymore, after all.

“He’s certainly trying.” I smiled tightly, cutting my piece of pork and imagining Weinand in its place.

“Well, he should look no further! I am at your service, Shiari Noero.” Sean raised his hand playfully, trying to bow without diving face-first into his plate.

“The viscount is asking for my hand?” I asked ironically.

“It would be a crime not to propose to such a beauty,” he replied with a grin.

The more I thought about great-great-grandmother Mev’s idea, the more I realized how impossible it was. Maybe Ashvar didn’t even bother talking with her and the fictitious marriage was just a prank of his.

Sean... Something told me he’d never agree not to cross the threshold of my bedroom if we were to get married. Besides, I knew he was joking. People like him tended to remain bachelors for the rest of their lives.

Perhaps I should consider an older man as an option. Alas, Weinand was no fool. He’d figure it out soon enough. He would also start digging deeper to find out why I was so opposed to marriage.

I had no way out.

“Has Reefer told you that your partying will soon have to come to an end?”

“Why does it have to end?” Reefer smiled carelessly. “I’ll have two free days per week at Calderock. Sean said that he’ll visit me.”

“I don’t think you’ll have any strength left after a week of drills to tour the capital’s taverns. You’ll be busy doing homework on weekends. Have you heard nothing about the life that awaits you at the academy?”

Reefer remained silent and I felt guilty for spoiling his mood. I shouldn’t be saying things like these since his going to the academy was already a settled matter. On the other hand, I still hoped that a miracle would happen and that he would change his mind.

After dinner, I retired with Sean. The young viscount, confident that tonight would be the night when he would succeed in stealing a kiss from me, followed me like a goat on a leash. Unfortunately, I had to disappoint him.

Both of us failed in our intentions, as my attempts to influence Reefer through Sean were fruitless.

“You love Reef as much as I do. You’ve been friends since childhood, you grew up together. He listens to you and respects your opinion. If you try to convince him not to leave...”

“Laira, Reef is like a brother to me,” Sean interrupted me, staring down the modest neckline of my dress. What he was trying to find there was beyond me. “But I don’t want to interfere with his decisions. And I don’t advise you to do so either. Reef made a choice, and you should respect that.”

The beautifully delivered speech cut me like a knife. Alas, I had overestimated Sean’s eloquence as his next words, uttered with a scornful grin, immediately ruined the impression.

“After all, you’re just a woman. Don’t try to act like you’re a strategist, playing us like pawns. You’re better off joining Tessa for a round of gossip. Practice for when you become a spinster.”

Giving me a look that matched his grin, Sean walked out of my father’s office. He left without saying goodbye, taking my brother with him.

Reefer didn’t return until two days later, looking like a pig. His clothes were all wrinkled and dirty, hair messy and greasy, and he had dark circles under his eyes. He reeked of cigarettes so much that the stench made Aunt Tessa and me nauseous.

“I see you’ve been celebrating your last few days of freedom...”

My aunt touched my elbow, subtly pleading me not to provoke my brother.

“I’m celebrating the beginning of my new life. Away from my nosy sister.”

“Go wash up.”

Annoyed, Reefer snapped back at me.

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“I’ll wash up when I want to wash up! And I’ll come home when I want and do whatever I want! No more talking about Calderock!” Swaying, he walked toward the stairs. Holding onto the railing, he turned around to look at me. “I hope Weinand finds you a husband. One that will tame you and your big mouth!”

“I hope you’re smart enough not to snap at your mentors like this!”

“Leave him be, Laira,” Aunt Tessa whispered. “He doesn’t mean it. He’s probably still drunk.”

“It’s all Weinand’s fault,” I said, feeling a wave of rage rising from the depths of my soul. “Everything is falling apart because of him.”

Reefer and I never made up. We were both too proud to make the first step toward reconciliation. For two weeks, we suffered in silence, and then awkwardly said our goodbyes. It wasn’t until his carriage was out of sight and the dust settled on the road that I give in. I couldn’t hold back anymore.

Sliding onto the porch, I buried my face in my hands and wept.

***

The first days after Reefer’s departure went by painfully slowly. They dragged on and on into oblivion. I was in a horrible mood and Aunt Tessa had to suffer because of it. I understood that bickering with her didn’t do any of us any good, but I couldn’t help myself. Anxiety had me in its grip and it refused to let go.

I was worried. I was afraid.

I tried to keep myself busy with household chores, and I regularly visited the mines, our family’s main source of income, but everything was in order everywhere, and my presence wasn’t needed. Most importantly, Reefer no longer needed me.

Without my brother around, the world seemed to have lost all of its colors and became dull and gloomy.

The first letter from him came in mid-September. I thought he would write to me, but no — Reefer had addressed the letter to Aunt Tessa. We read it together. She with pride and a smile tugging on her lips, and I with bated breath and fear.

“See? Everything’s fine,” Aunt Tessa said softly, putting down the letter. “I’m sure Reefer will thrive in his new environment.”

“Maybe,” I said doubtfully. Taking the letter from her, I ran my gaze over it again.

According to what was written, Reefer liked it in Calderock. He quickly made friends, and easily established relationships with his professors. He couldn’t stop singing praises about his mentor — Winand. He taught combat, as well as the science of biology to those cadets whom mother nature had endowed with the gift of shapeshifting.

“Everything’s perfectly fine!” Aunt Tessa repeated optimistically. “Looks like all those rumors about Calderock are greatly exaggerated. Mark my words, Reefer will become the best cadet in the history of the academy and further glorify the Noero name! I have no worries about him, but you, Laira... What are we going to do about your future?” She sighed.

I squeezed my aunt’s hand and smiled at her. Aunt Tessa was a wonderful woman, kind and sympathetic. In her last years in this world, my mother was very ill — she could hardly get out of bed. Reefer and I rarely got to see our father as the war and serving the empire were a priority for him.

We were raised by Aunt Tessa, who cared for us as if we were her own children. She was always on my side, supporting me sometimes even despite her beliefs. When the templar who was supposed to seal my magic suddenly died right before my eyes on the day of the fatal rite, my aunt lied to both my mother and father. She convinced them that their only daughter had cast off the burden of magic and was now ready to bring glory to the family by becoming an obedient wife and a loving mother. The temple decided that the rite was a success. They were sure that the magic that could drive Shiari Noero crazy had left her body.

Only Aunt Tessa, Ashvar, and I knew the truth.

Perhaps, over time, my parents would have found out. Soon after the failed ceremony, we received word that Field Marshal Noero wouldn’t be returning home. A few months later, my mother also left us, joining him. If it weren’t for the series of tragedies that rocked our family, I would’ve been married off long ago to some military despot like Weinand or an aristocrat with only a faint spark of his gift.

I hated both options.

“Laira... What are we going to do about the general’s plans?” My aunt’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Giving me a guilty, faint smile, she continued: “You know, it’s not too late to seal your magic...”

“I won’t give up my power,” I said sternly. “I won’t let you turn me into a cripple.”

Aunt Tessa rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue.

“Nonsense! Why would that cripple you? You’ll remain the same Laira, brave, strong-willed, and as stubborn as a mule,” she scolded me affectionately. “Why do you want to keep a gift that you can’t use? Guarding this secret your entire life is an unbearable burden, one too heavy for your fragile shoulders...”

In moments like these, it was clear that she regretted keeping my secret. I had convinced her to deceive my parents: my father through a letter, and my mother in person. I begged her, and my aunt, a kind soul, gave in.

“The stronger the gift, the harder it is to give it up.”

“The stronger the gift, the greater the danger that you won’t be able to control it.” Aunt Tessa shook her head. “We women are too weak for that.”

It was easy for her to say. Her power almost didn’t manifest itself at all, and she gave up something she neither felt nor understood. I, on the contrary, felt magic surging through my body since early childhood. It burned my veins like fire, and when I found out that in addition to the power, I also had a hidden gift... Sealing such abilities felt like denying myself, ripping out a part of me. Making myself small and insignificant just because society thought it was the right thing to do.

“I can manage if I stay away from men.”

“That’s impossible, Laira.” Aunt Tessa caressed my hair. “The general won’t give up so easily.”

Neither would I.

“I’ll think of something,” I said softly, and, coming up with some urgent business in the village, I fled Crower.

This wasn’t the last time that my aunt tried to reason with me, nor the last time I stubbornly tried to convince her that I would come up with something. Another three weeks passed in disputes. During this time, we received two new letters from Reefer. Both were for Aunt Tessa, and the content of each was reassuring. Reefer seemed happy, but I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong.

Maybe I was just worrying myself over nothing, exaggerating, but my instincts had never failed me before. I really hoped that this time they were wrong.

When in early October a messenger arrived at the gates, I ran to greet him, impatient to break the seal and read the news as soon as possible.

“Thank you!” I said to the horseman and immediately opened the letter.

My eyes widened. It was addressed to me but it wasn’t from Reefer. His Grace, General Eskorn reminded me that he was expecting me in Leonssia in two weeks.

“Many suitable suitors are lining up in the capital,” the bastard wrote. “High society is eager to meet the daughter of the late field marshal.”

I frowned, resisting the urge to crumple the letter.

“I hope you will be prudent and bring honor to your father’s name.”

Maybe I should reconsider murder as a possible option? What guy did Ashvar say he knew?

“I took the liberty of finding you accommodation and a companion.”

How caring.

“I look forward to our meeting, Shiari Noero, and I do hope that it will bring only pleasant things to both of us.”

I sighed, looking up at the sky.

They left me with me no other options.

It was time to “get married.”