KAYDEN LIONHEART

Kayden smiled as he sipped from his wine, hoping her sudden nervousness was because of the fact that she found him attractive. Hopefully attractive enough to have sex with him.

"There isn't much to know about me. I lost my mother when I was four. My father was a sadistic asshole. I fought to prove myself as a prince my whole life, and now I'm king. Before you think I'm a nice guy, I'm not. I'm a monster. I've tortured and killed more men than I can count. I wouldn't hesitate to do it again if I had to. I would never hurt a woman, but that doesn't make me a nice person. Just someone who hasn't lost their soul yet." He shrugged. "My emotions are suppressed with magic.” He pulled a leather band from under his shirt and showed her an enchanted trinket. “I don't feel love, I don't feel pure joy. Just some shallow version of those."

Arelyn stopped eating. "Why would you want to suppress your emotions?"

Kayden ate a few bites, thinking through how he should explain it without mentioning the course of his country. That was a topic that would result in never ending questions from her.

"First, because it’s safer for everyone." He took another bite. "Second, because it's easier. I don't feel love, joy or happiness as a normal person. But I also don't feel pain, remorse, regret, guilt, and shame either. My feelings aren't in the way when I have to make hard decisions. When I have to end a life I don't hesitate, thinking about how many children I'll leave without a father, how many women I'll leave without a man. I don't care when a man screams and begs in a torture chamber."

He continued eating. What he didn't tell was that he felt it all at once when he took off his necklace. Or when the magic ran out of the trinket, it was all there, torturing his soul. Or what was left of it. The numbness the spell offered was better than the pain. And not being able to fall in love was worth every second of torment. After all, why love someone only to lose them? It was better not to have those feelings to begin with.

"What stops you from doing whatever you want, whenever you want to? From taking whatever woman you want and forcing yourself on her?" As soon as the question was out Arelyn covered her mouth with her hand for a second and regret shone in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I know you're an honorable man. You haven't forced yourself on me and you could have. I'm not questioning that. What stops you when you don't have to worry about guilt? Without empathy or emotions why bother caring?"

Kayden laughed, almost spitting his wine. He wiped his mouth. "I'm sorry."

He sipped from his water and cleared his throat. "A few things stop me. Magic has a price, Arelyn. In this case, my sanity. Long story short, if I don't take this off regularly, I'll lose my mind. The trick is, when I do feel, I feel everything that happened. Other than that, I'm not that kind of monster."

He looked into her eyes, wondering how much he should tell her. After a few long moments, he took a deep breath. "I've been raped, which isn't uncommon, and I don't need pity. I saw what my father did with his women. Many of them committed suicide to get free, some went crazy. A few of them killed themselves after my father died, screaming, believing that their lives were over." He shrugged. "That is where I drew a line. Women and children. If I ever crossed that line, I would know I lost my humanity and I've become the monster I feared."

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She nodded. "It was the same for some of the women Relskald had as his… house slaves. I guess I can relate to the kind of man your father was."

Lyn finished her food and sipped her wine. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I don't think I'd want that kind of charm imposed on me. Perhaps if it has helped you survive then it cannot be a wholly bad thing?"

Kayden finished his meal and leaned back. "You're a woman. You wouldn’t need one." He sighed. With the information they’d gathered during the war, there might be a solution to lift the curse and get rid of the trinkets, but the magic was ancient and the spell was complicated. Hopefully Ryan would find the solution, after all, he had personal reasons to do so.

He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "Dessert? Everything with chocolate is good here."

Lyn's eyes closed at the thought of chocolate, her voice was a little breathless when she spoke. "I haven't had chocolate in five years. I would love some dessert."

The waiter took their plates and placed an ashtray in front of Kayden. Only a few places allowed inside smoking, but he didn't care. No one had the courage to say no to him.

Kayden ordered a brownie with ice cream, a slice of chocolate cake, a chocolate souffle, and a blueberry cheesecake for himself.

"More wine?" Without waiting for an answer, he poured her more wine.

Even though they still had their dessert to consume, Kayden didn't want this evening to end, so he figured that making her talk would guarantee that.

“Three husbands. What kind of dynamic did you have?”

She took a moment to consider that. “Well, I was very young when I married my first husband. My second,” she frowned, “I married him for a few reasons but mostly to make my first husband happy. My second husband was gay and in a sexual relationship with my first. My third husband, Reese, was younger than me and I married him to fulfill my needs.”

"So, you married a bisexual man then a gay man to please your first husband. Or was he gay too? What about the third?" He smirked. "Was he able to satisfy you?"

Lyn laughed. "I'll admit, I married Reese purely out of lust. Once I married my second husband, my first wasn't as interested in fulfilling my needs. Reese had no problems in that department and he got something out of it too besides my charming personality." She was toying with him, daring him to deny her words about herself. She looked Kayden in the eye, "I don't think there's a man on any planet with his libido."

Jealousy awakened his pride and he almost puffed out his chest like a freaking peacock but stopped himself. "You haven't met many men in this world."

Okay, her husbands weren’t the best topic. But she’d brought up her children many times without asking. Maybe talking about them would be an easier topic for him.

"Why did you want children?"

"I never really thought about it. I love children, I always pictured myself as a mother. It's just the natural way of things for my people." She smiled, "When I was younger I wanted a dozen but after having four I think I would have settled on six. We were happy and having children was satisfying. Watching them grow and explore and..." She choked up a moment, he watched as she closed her eyes and breathed slowly then gained her composure. Her voice was whisper soft as she said, "I miss them the most, their loss hurts the most. I'd give my life just to see my children just one more time."

Kayden reached for her hand and caressed it. "Kids have a way to find their way to places no one else can." He smiled, hoping it was reassuring and pulled back.

Another failed topic. This one because of Arelyn’s feelings. He had one more before he ran out of them.

"How does your society work?"