It wasn’t too hard to sneak back home. The walk was the hardest part; Ileana was clothed only in her pajamas as she trekked through the cold air. If something like this happened again - and based on her bunica’s words, it probably would - she would probably put on a sweater before going out.
Luckily, Ileana’s mother didn’t even stir as she crept inside the apartment and into her room. Letting out a sigh of relief, Ileana flopped onto her bed. Tomorrow was a school day, and she needed to get what rest she could. Closing her eyes, she waited for sleep to take her.
Except it didn’t.
Ileana tried everything. She counted sheep, tried to picture a calming scene, and even identified each and every constellation she’d made using the glow-in-the-dark stars. But nothing seemed to work. She was wide awake, despite staying up so late. For an hour, she laid in bed, not feeling the slightest bit tired.
Giving up, she reached over and turned the lamp on, then tried to read one of her books for the rest of the night - not that she could. She read the same page over and over, her mind still trying to comprehend what had happened mere hours ago.
She’d have to fight again, wouldn’t she? And when she did, she would be all alone, with no one to guide her. How was she supposed to survive?
Then again, her bunica had chosen her for a reason - she’d said so herself. But what was the reason? Her grandmother had said Ileana was strong and kind, but that had been nine years ago. What if she’d lost those traits over time? How could one even tell those sorts of things about a five-year-old?
She just chose me because I’m her granddaughter, Ileana realized. Nepotism. That’s it.
And because of that, her life was now in danger. Still, if she hadn’t been picked, some other kid would’ve. Someone had to be Stardust. And that someone was her now.
I’d better get used to it.
----------------------------------------
Ileana didn’t say much to her mother at breakfast. She ate her food in silence, still pondering over the things she’d thought about last night. As much as she’d like to, there was no way she could tell her mother what had happened last night. Her mother would think she was crazy, and then she’d have to turn into Stardust as proof, and then...well, she didn’t exactly know what would happen then, but it wouldn’t be good.
The home phone rang, and Ileana’s mother went to pick it up. Ileana didn’t pay attention to the conversation. She poked at her cereal, which at this point had turned mushy - not that she had any appetite anyway. Giving up on eating, she stood up and went to go take a shower. By the time she was dressed and back in the living room, her hair still wet, her mother was sitting on the couch, waiting for her.
“That was Lucas on the phone,” her mother explained. “He’s in Seattle, and he wants to drop by this afternoon.”
“Lucas?” Ileana didn’t know how to feel about that. She hadn’t seen him since a year after the funeral, when she and her mother had visited in a vain attempt to cheer him up. He’d looked even worse - too thin, with eyes that looked more dead than alive - and he’d spent most of his time in his room instead of playing with Ileana like he used to. On the first night there, Ileana learned that he screamed in his sleep. Loudly. Being a little kid, she’d been more irritated than worried, but she’d overheard his parents talking in hushed tones about therapists and medications and how nothing was working. The whole visit had been awkward, and soon after that, Lucas and his family moved to San Diego, only communicating through the occasional phone call. Now Lucas was eighteen, and living on his own. Ileana hoped he was doing better; if he wasn’t, his visit would be terribly awkward.
“Yes, isn’t it great? We haven’t seen him in so long,” Ileana’s mother said. “I’ve wanted to go to San Diego over the years, but I was always busy with work. It’ll be good to see him.”
“Yeah. Good,” Ileana said quietly, not meeting her mother’s eyes.
“Honey, is something wrong? You’ve been quiet all morning,” her mother pressed.
Ileana straightened up, pasting a big fake smile on her face. “Nope! I’m fine.”
Her mother still looked dubious, but she didn’t stress the issue further, instead going to get her shoes on. Ileana heaved a sigh of relief. If she was going to be Stardust, she had to act more convincing. She didn’t want everyone to worry about her.
----------------------------------------
School went by quickly. Ileana didn’t pay much attention to her teachers, choosing to stare at the clock instead, or scribble nonsense in her notebook. Soon enough, it was lunchtime, the first period of the day that she shared with Maite.
Ileana sat in her usual spot outside in the corner. Sure, there were tables outside as well as inside, but there were always so many people sitting at the tables, people she didn’t know and couldn’t bring herself to talk to.
A minute later, Maite arrived, sitting down beside her. Maite was followed by her friend Layla, who sat next to her. Ileana had always wanted to befriend Layla as well, but she could never think of what to say.
Luckily, she didn’t need to think of something to say - Maite launched into her usual speech about how the theatre teacher was a pompous idiot who didn’t even know how to teach. This came as a relief to Ileana, who only had to nod along, maybe adding a “yeah,” every once in a while. She wasn’t even taking the theatre class, after all. So while Layla and Maite talked, her mind wandered - until Layla brought up something interesting.
“My dad said he saw something interesting last night, you know.”
Ileana perked up. “Oh?” Had she been seen?
“Yeah,” Layla continued. “He was in his apartment, almost asleep, when he heard someone screaming from the alleyway. Then he saw a flash of light out the window, and after that, there was another scream. He rushed down the stairs, but by the time he got to the alley, no one was there. He called the police anyway, though.”
Ileana bit her lip. Layla’s father had clearly seen the light coming from her transformation, and heard her confrontation with the two boys from Terminus. She’d have to be more quiet from now on, or stick to abandoned places.
“Really? That must’ve been scary for him,” Maite replied.
Scary for him? I’m the one who almost got skewered! Ileana thought bitterly. Damn, this whole keeping-Stardust-a-secret thing was hard. She just wanted to tell someone, anyone, and stop pretending that everything was normal. But that was impossible, wasn’t it?
“So, did the police find anything?”
Please say no, please say no, please say -
“Nah, they didn’t. Still, something like this was unexpected. It’s not like my dad lives in a bad neighborhood or anything. Maybe someone was getting mugged or something, but what was that flash?” Layla wondered.
“Flash photography?” Maite suggested.
Layla rolled her eyes. “Yeah, like somebody’s going to be able to take a picture with the flash on while they’re getting mugged.”
“Yeah, I’m sure it was nothing,” Ileana added quickly - too quickly. She immediately regretted saying anything when Maite gave her a suspicious look.
“Ileana, do you know anything about this?” Maite asked. Ileana cursed inwardly, but shook her head.
“Yeah, why would she know anything?” Layla added, unknowingly coming to Ileana’s rescue. “It was night, she was probably asleep in her own apartment.”
“I’m just saying, she was acting a little sus, talking like that. Stressed people talk faster, I heard that on TV,” Maite responded.
Layla snorted. “Sus? Really? You been playing Among Us lately?”
“You of all people should know that I prefer Push the Button,” Maite said with a huff.
The conversation turned to Jackbox games, to Ileana’s relief. Honestly, though, how was she supposed to hide her secret any longer? On TV, superheroes could easily hide their identities. But here she was, struggling to act normal and gathering suspicion already!
By the time the bell rang at the end of the last period, Ileana was ready to go home and stay in her room until dinner. But no, she had to visit with Lucas instead. It would be awkward, wouldn’t it? She hadn’t seen him in so long, she barely knew him. Hopefully the visit would be short.
As she neared her apartment building, Ileana noticed something else. She’d only slept a little at the beginning of the night, yet she wasn’t tired at all. Was this a side effect of being Stardust? More importantly, would she ever be able to sleep again?
Ileana pondered this as she knocked on the door of her apartment, waiting for her mother to let her in.
After a few seconds, the door opened, and her mother poked her head out. “Ileana, you’re just in time! Lucas got here about ten minutes ago.”
Great.
Ileana stepped through the doorway and cast her eyes to the couch, where Lucas was apparently sitting.
Except it wasn’t Lucas.
It was the blonde boy from last night.
Ileana stiffened, her heart racing. They’d found her already! She wasn’t sure what she’d done to let her identity slip, but that didn’t matter right now. Here she was, defenseless, with Nebula nowhere in sight! Last night, she’d put the box away in her room. She’d have to run right past him to get it - and what about her mother? Was she an unknowing hostage at this very moment?
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“Ileana, are you all right? You look stressed,” her mother commented. There was no fear in her eyes, no sign that she knew the danger she was in.
Ileana couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Mom, that’s not Lucas!”
Her mother looked very confused. “What do you mean? Who else would he be?”
Ileana glanced over to the boy on the couch, bracing herself for the inevitable attack, but the boy simply smiled. “Don’t worry so much, Ileana. It’s me. I’ve grown up quite a bit, haven’t I? And so have you.”
“I know, right?” Ileana’s mother added. “She’s grown into quite the mature, beautiful young lady.”
“B-but - but he - I saw him -” Ileana stammered, only to be cut off by the boy.
“Oh, right. We ran into each other yesterday, didn’t we? I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you. You look so different now,” the boy explained. Ileana tilted her head in confusion. Why wasn’t the boy attacking? He had the perfect opportunity. He could simply kill the two of them and teleport away. So why was he trying so hard to hide his true identity?
Ileana’s mother looked relieved. “Oh, so that’s why she got confused. Come on, Ileana, why don’t you sit down? You’ve been standing in the doorway long enough.”
Stiff as a board, Ileana walked to the couch, closing the door behind her. She made sure to sit down as far away from the boy as possible. Her mother sat down as well, bringing with her an old photo album.
“I know this is sort of embarrassing, but do you remember making these? It was back when you lived in Tacoma.” Ileana’s mother opened the album to a page somewhere in the middle. She pointed at one picture in particular; one that showed a young Ileana and Lucas using cookie cutters to make gingerbread cookies. Ileana remembered that day well. It had been one of the last days before Lucas started acting strange.
“Of course I remember,” the blonde boy said with a smile. “Ileana kept trying to stuff the gingerbread in her mouth, and bunica had to remind her that it had raw egg in it. Not that Ileana listened.”
A chill ran down Ileana’s spine. How did this imposter know about that? Sure, he looked like an older Lucas, so she could understand why her mother had let him in, but it wasn’t like he had Lucas’s memories. Even if he’d done his background research well, how would he be able to know about that specific, irrelevant memory?
There was one possible way that he could know, but...no, that didn’t make any sense!
“...But then the refrigerator kept leaking! So I called the mechanic back, but I got put on hold for a while, until I gave up. I’ll call again today, though,” Ileana’s mother continued. She’d been talking to the imposter about boring adult things while Ileana had been thinking, so Ileana had tuned her out. Just then, a beeping sound came from the kitchen. “Oh, the tea is ready. I’ll go get it.”
As soon as her mother was out of earshot, Ileana turned to the boy, lowering her voice to a whisper. “Look. You may have fooled my mother, but you can’t fool me. I saw you last night. Who are you and what do you want?” Her voice trembled as she spoke, and she inwardly cursed herself for not being more intimidating.
The boy gazed back at her, his expression unchanging. “So what if you saw me last night? That doesn’t mean I’m not Lucas.”
Seriously, why was this boy still pretending to be her cousin? “Lucas would never join Terminus,” Ileana hissed. “He’d never try to hurt his own family!”
“Oh, really? And how do you know what goes on in my head? It’s been so many years since we’ve last seen each other. Things change, Stardust,” the boy who most definitely wasn’t Lucas replied. His gaze held no warmth. At a closer look, his eyes looked dull, lifeless even. Just like Lucas’s eyes had been once he changed.
Yes, Lucas had changed, but he would never have changed like this. Ileana couldn’t - well, wouldn’t - believe it. She looked the boy who was not Lucas dead in the eyes. “You’re not Lucas. I don’t care what you say, you’re not Lucas!”
Not-Lucas glared right back. “You’re smart, Stardust, so I’m sure you can piece things together. Think about this logically: Void first contacted me when I was nine.”
“Nine...that’s when Lucas changed.” Changed. That was the only way she could put it. One visit, he was playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with her and giving her piggyback rides. The next, all he seemed to do was stare into the distance, completely indifferent to his cousin’s existence.
“You all put it in such a negative light,” Not-Lucas said bitterly. “Like I was so much better before. I was so naive. So stupid.”
“Well, if you were Lucas - which you’re not - I’d say you were better before. You know, because of the tiny fact that you, y’know, helped Sorin try to kill me.” Ileana’s voice rose as she grew angrier. How dare this boy come into her own home after what he’d done? “So maybe you should -”
“Shh!” Not-Lucas snapped. He pointed in the direction of the kitchen. “Do you want her to hear us?”
As if she knew she was being talked about, Ileana’s mother came out of the kitchen, carrying two mugs full of tea. “It’s herbal tea, lemon flavored - that’s Ileana’s favorite. I know that herbal tea isn’t really tea because it doesn’t have any tea leaves, but what else are you supposed to call it? Herbal infusion? Somehow, that sounds sketchy.” She set the mugs down on the table in front of Ileana and Not-Lucas. “I’ll go back and get mine. You two keep talking! It’s nice to hear you guys having fun together again.”
“Thanks, mom.” Ileana said, filled with relief - clearly, her mother hadn’t heard what she and Not-Lucas had been talking about. Her relief was short-lived, though. When she heard Not-Lucas speak to thank her mother, she was reminded that her enemy was sitting next to her, in her own home, where he could easily kill her - or her mother.
“Don’t worry about your mother,” Not-Lucas said once Ileana’s mother had disappeared back into the kitchen to get her own mug of tea. “I have no intention of killing her. She and my parents will be safe - well, until Void gains physical form. After that, I can no longer guarantee their protection.”
“I’ll guarantee their protection, then,” Ileana hissed. “That’s what Lucas would do, too.”
“Will you just stop it with all the denial?” Not-Lucas snapped, exasperated. “Lucas isn’t in San Diego, he’s not hiding in the closet, and he’s not tied up somewhere. He’s sitting on this couch with you. Get used to it.”
Ileana wanted to argue. She wanted to deny more, scream that Lucas would never hurt her. But certain doubts had been weeding their way into her resolve this whole time.
Last night, when it had looked like she was doomed, she’d cried out to her bunica for help. And Not-Lucas had recognized that word, even though he had the accent of someone who’d been living in America, not Romania, for his whole life. He’d recognized the word bunica, and then he’d said her name. Ileana had thought he was saying her grandmother’s name - after all, she was the last Stardust, and therefore a member of Terminus would know her name - but perhaps it had been hers after all. Perhaps that boy had finally recognized her as his cousin when he heard her cry, and so he’d panicked, and in his panic, he’d loosened his grip on her, allowing her to escape. Then there was the fact that he seemed to have all of Lucas’s memories, and seemed to have some remaining loyalty to his family - just not to her. And Void had some connection to nightmares, right? If Void really had contacted Lucas, that would explain the screaming at night. Everything added up.
As much as Ileana wanted to deny it, this boy sitting with her really was Lucas.
God, what had happened? The cousin she used to play board games with was now willing to kill her.
Ileana was about to speak when her mother arrived with her mug of tea. “I’m back! How do you like the tea, Lucas?”
“It’s really good, even if it’s technically not really tea,” Lucas replied with a smile. Ileana resisted the urge to glare at him. How could he act deadly serious one moment and all polite the next?
“So how’s the college search going?” Ileana’s mother asked. “I heard you were thinking of going out of state.”
“Actually, I’ve been considering going to school here, at the University of Washington,” Lucas answered. “I’ve grown to miss this state.”
Ileana’s mother beamed. “Really? That’s wonderful, Lucas! The university is great! It has a great medical program, of course, but I don’t know if you’re interested in that. Your parents told me that you were into history. Is that still true?”
Lucas sipped his tea, then replied. “History...well, it’s not exactly something I’m interested in, it’s more like something I have to know.” His expression darkened. “We have a duty to learn about the atrocities committed by our kind.”
“Our kind?” Ileana’s mother looked confused. “You mean white people?”
Ileana gritted her teeth. Don’t tell me he’s serving Void out of white guilt!
“No, I mean humans in general. Everything we’ve done,” Lucas explained. “The wars, the genocides, the crimes against basic decency...and then there’s our impact on the world, too. Humans think of themselves too much, and they can’t see the bigger picture. Humanity is a walking mass extinction event.”
“You have a point there,” Ileana’s mother responded, though she looked slightly put off. “But the history of humanity isn’t just a cycle of atrocities, you know. There’s -”
“Little specks of hope, yes, I know. But what is hope’s purpose other than to make despair even harder to bear once it inevitably strikes?”
Ileana’s mother laughed nervously. “You sound like you’ve seen it all, yet you’re only eighteen, and you have a wonderful life with a loving family. You don’t have to be co cynical all the time, you know.”
Lucas looked like he was going to argue, but just then, the phone rang.
“I’ll get it,” Ileana’s mother said, clearly relieved to be leaving the awkward conversation. She took the phone and walked into her room; Ileana could faintly hear her discussing the leaking refrigerator.
“So that’s why you’re with Void? Because you’re a cynic?” Ileana asked the moment her mother was out of earshot. “Do you think this is what our bunica would’ve wanted? You embracing your edgelord phase by joining a group of literal monsters?”
Ileana regretted what she had said when she saw the fury that lit up in Lucas’s eyes.
“And what do you know about our grandmother?” Lucas hissed. “You don’t know what she’s done, do you? I can tell by the look on your face that you don’t. Well, here’s some news: I know things about our bunica that would make you cry.”
“What do you mean?” Ileana asked, completely dumbfounded.
“I mean that Void showed me the truth. Tell me, Stardust, where was our oh-so-precious bunica from?”
“R-Romania,” Ileana stammered, not understanding where this was going.
“She was born in 1934, yes?”
“I think so.”
Lucas smiled, but it was not a happy smile. “And she left in 1950. So she was there during the 1940s. Now, Stardust, tell me: what happened during the 1940s?”
“The second world war. But where are you going with -”
Lucas interrupted her mid-sentence. “And what was going on in Romania during the second world war?”
“No idea. They don’t exactly teach us stuff like that in school. So maybe you could just explain this all to me instead of -”
Ileana stopped speaking when she heard the door to her mother’s room open. Her mother came out, holding the phone and smiling victoriously. “Guess what? They’re going to fix the refrigerator again, at no extra cost!”
“That’s great,” Lucas said, already back to his lovable nephew persona.
The conversation turned back to boring matters, and Ileana zoned out, instead thinking about Lucas and his revelation. Exactly what did Lucas mean when he said Void had shown him the truth? What had Void done to him?
Ileana tuned back in to the conversation when she heard her name.
It was Lucas who was speaking. “I was just thinking, Ileana has always looked so fragile. Like I could just touch her and she would shatter into a million pieces.”
Ileana sat straight up. “Oh, I don’t think I break that easily.”
Her mother gave her a confused look, but Ileana did not regret her words.
I won’t let Terminus break me. No matter who they are, I’ll stand firm. And I won’t die.
Watch me, Lucas. Watch me survive.