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Shattered Realms - A Pathfinder/D&D game
Session 10: Down and Dur-ty

Session 10: Down and Dur-ty

“Upstairs?” Zagthaan asked as she brushed biscuit crumbs from her armour.

Abs nodded as he pocketed some extra rations “Yeah.”

Crossing to the smaller stairs, the group ascended, armour echoing in the stairwell. Glancing to and fro, they opened the door labelled 201-210 to their right, also checking for enemies along the corridor.

"Shall we start here and work our way up?” Abs asked, waving at the nearest door, labelled '210'.

“You mean down?” Zagthaan asked.

“Up the hallway, down the numbers," Stigr clarified.

“Up, down, whatever," Abs said with a dismissive wave as he opened the door, letting everyone in after him.

From the corner of the room came the sounds of vines slithering as a croaker sat up clumsily on the couch.

Realising that combat was ensuing, Stigr raised his hand and pointed at the croaker on the lounge, a flare bursting out at the croaker, hitting it in the face as Ragnar leapt towards the lurker in the corner, warhammer smashing into it as it finished detaching itself from the wall.

Stumbling towards Ragnar, the croaker struck him in the side armour, making Ragnar to throw a glare at it. Abs, seeing the opportunity, rolled under the table and behind the croaker, his blade sinking into the partly wooden leg of the croaker.

Vines lashed out from the lurker, catching Ragnar in the arm, and as Zagthaan stepped up next to him, healing him, his retaliating warhammer strike dropped the creature.

Ragnar turned at the sound of a grunt of effort to see Stigr having flipped the coffee table, presumably in an effort to hit the croaker, but getting a different result.

A sliding noise alerted the group to the arrival of two more croaker's from the bedroom area as the wooden sliding doors opened. Spikes lashed out from the croaker already in combat, catching Zagthaan off guard while Abs and Ragnar dodged and deflected the attacks at them.

Rapier flashed, impaling the croaker again. Red-grey aura surged, healing Ragnar. Drum beat surged from Stigr as Ragnar turned his full attention on the croaker, warhammer striking true as the shield, instead of impaling the croaker with it's spike, was impaled on the croaker's spikes, holes appearing in the wood.

As if emboldened by the shield damage, the croaker struck Ragnar heavily with both hands. The other two croaker's stumbled forward from the bedroom door, one stumbling over the back of the couch, the other heading for Stigr, but both missing their attacks.

Watching the others as she began casting, Zagthaan winced as, after stabbing his target again, Abs leapt back, intending to get on the lounge, but falling face down on the floor instead as his footing gave way.

"The void be your bane," Zagthaan proclaimed as she released her next spell. Her aura surged out, leaving a faint halo around the heads of the two croaker's who had entered from the bedroom. She leant back as the table legs passed her, the table ended up on the other side of Stigr from her as a temporary shield.

As if the thought of shield passed her thoughts, Ragnar’s shield was impaled again, the spikes of the croaker damaging it as he damaged it with his warhammer. Their enemies struck back, the one on the couch dropping onto Abs, pummeling him on the floor while the one on the other side of the small table from Stigr, just reached over it and hit the trollkin in the chest.

Abs, dodging further strikes from the croaker, rolled and stood, stabbing the croaker attacking Stigr. Seeing the opening that the croaker attacking Ragnar had left, Zagthaan stepped back into the fray, hitting the croaker that had damaged Ragnar’s shield with her own warhammer.

The small table rose in one clawed hand as Stigr raised it to strike the croaker, only for the table to be caught in the small chandelier. As he swung down, the table slipped out of his hand and his strike missed, making the bard look at his hand, then the chandelier in confusion.

Ragnar struck with his warhammer, snapping the corakers neck. As it dropped to the ground, he pushed it down and aside with his shield, stepping onto it to get closer to another target.

Spikes lashed out from the one Stigr was trying to defend against with the table earlier, narrowly missing Abs and Stigr, while the other one followed Ab’s movement along the couch, striking at him, but missing.

Rolling to his feet and moving behind the croaker, Abs struck it. “Come on Stigr, kill it, stop trolling!”

“Ugh. I should let you get hit,” the trollkin bard replied as he tugged at the table and chandelier, neither budging.

Giving a quick nod to Ragnar, Zagthaan infused her warhammer with her energy, flames erupting from it as she struck the croaker, the creature taking her hit, but dodging out of the way of Ragnar’s strikes.

Both croakers, having not received enough distractions, maintained their focus on Abs, the one on the couch misjudging the distance to strike, while the other hit him in the shoulder, throwing off his retaliating strike.

Stepping to Abs’s side, Zagthaan knelt and her magic surged as she touched him, bolstering and healing him as the music from Stigr faded and struck out with his claws.

“Get back here,” Ragnar grumbled, hitting with his warhammer before the shield spike pierced the chest of the croaker, ripping it back out with a spray of sap-blood. The creature retaliated, spikes erupting, missing Ragnar and Abs.

The other croaker turned on Stigr, striking with a spiked hand as Stigr bared his teeth and struck back, biting and clawing the croaker, Abs’s rapier piercing through and barely missing Stigr’s face.

Zagthaan’s warhammer missed her target and, as she stepped back, Ragnar lashed out, his warhammer struck, slamming into the croaker again. Glancing across, Ragnar noted, with a tiny nod, Abs stepping back from the combat, his rapier still pointed towards the enemies.

Spikes swiped at Ragnar and Stigr, raking trollkin flesh and glancing off the dragonkin’s shield.

Abs stepped back, ducking in and striking again, the creature slumping on his blade as it died, giving Zagthaan a moment to focus, her aura surging and healing Ragnar.

Roaring at the remaining croaker, Stigr shoved it hard, throwing it across the room. Seeing the opportunity, Ragnar bent down and shoved, intending to push the couch into the croaker, but only succeeding in launching a cushion at it.

The croaker, now having a direct line to Abs, moved to him and struck, the gnome ducking out of the way as the others closed in, Ragnar leaping over the couch, warhammer striking as Zagthaan and Stigr followed around the couch, not wanting to risk tripping on it. Moments after her flaming warhammer hit, Stigr, towering over croaker, bit its head and ripped, detaching what was left of the skull from the spine, spitting it to the side.

Taking a deep breath, the group looked around, Abs finding a key in the bedroom on one of the small bedside tables. Holding it up, he read out the label. “Floor two, rooms 211 to 220.” He returned to the others as Stigr used the last of the wand’s healing magic on him.

In the distance, the siren stopped.

“Go to the door, close it!” Zagthaan said, worriedly. After a brief pause, she looked to the door. “Actually, we might be able to kill him.”

“Maybe he’s healed up,” Abs said.

“Maybe when he comes in he’ll bump his head on the table hanging off the chandelier,” Stigr offered.

“And maybe there’s more than one,” Ragnar added.

“Please don’t put that thought in my head,” Stigr complained.

“It’s already there now, it’s been implanted.”

“Maybe it’s Lucy now,” Abs offered, drawing a long, awkward silence from everyone.

Stigr cleared his throat. “So, I still have this cheese from the pantry, anyone want some? It’ll be my last supper, just in case anything happens.” As he ate, the others moving closer to the door, all on guard for anything. He continued around his mouthful. “I just had a thought. Does this place go up any higher?”

Zagthaan shrugged. “Not that we know about in this particular area. I mean, there is an upper area, on the higher part of the mountain, where we’re trying to get to.”

“Cause I was thinking, if he was directly above us, he could just cave in the floor and drop in on us. But maybe he’s not that smart. I don’t know.”

“Well, if he’s not in this corridor,” Abs said, “we should move between rooms, just to be safe.”

“But the thing is, any of these other rooms could have something in it.”

“Or nothing in it,” Ragnar offered.

“Yeah, but can’t guarantee that.”

“Or it could have everything in it,” Zagthaan counter offered.

“There’s no guarantee that we won't walk into another room and there won't be three chefs in there.”

Zagthaan shuddered. “That’s where we back out really quickly and barricade the door.”

“Unless the door gets locked behind us,” Abs said.

“You could throw an elemental at it,” Ragnar said to Zagthaan.

“It takes time to summon an elemental.”

Stolen novel; please report.

“Don’t worry, we’ll kick a sofa into them,” Stigr said with a grin.

“Yeah, ‘cause that worked last time,” Zagthaan replied, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

“You could have killed that croaker earlier if you hadn’t been using that table,” Abs said to Stigr, waving at the table, still in the chandelier.

“But not as funny,” Ragnar said.

“I wanted to use a table,” Stigr said to Abs.

Abs shook his head and sighed. “What's the plan?”

“I don’t think we have one,” Stigr replied.

“The plan is to not have a plan,” Zagthaan said.

“I have a plan.” Stigr said with a grin. “Attack.”

“That sounds like a plan of attack,” Zagthaan said with a tilt of her head at Stigr.

“Let’s just go to the next room,” Abs said with an exasperated sigh.

“Everyone good with that?” Stigr queried.

“I got nothing better to do,” Zagthaan replied with a shrug.

Ragnar nodded. “We really don’t have much of a choice.”

“We’ll just go along this corridor then,” Abs said, heading into the corridor and across to room 209. Abs went in, giving the room a once over while the others watched from the door. “This room’s smaller,” Zagthaan said awkwardly into the silence as Abs exited the room, heading for the next door.

Trying a few doors, Abs found them locked. Sighing with faint annoyance, Zagthaan pushed open the door to room 207, immediately spotting a badger with electric blue stripes sitting on the outside of the windowsill. “Hey guys, can anyone else see the badger?” She asked, staring at it as it looked back at her.

“Nope. Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ragnar said, coming into the room behind her.

Glancing back at the group, Zagthaan pointed at the window. As she turned back, she saw that badger was gone. “What the fffff. Why does it do that?!” Running over to the window, she put her hand on the glass. “I’m going insane.” The sill and glass on the outside is spotless, the fog starting to slowly fill into the area again, as if the badger had pushed it back.

“When did you get a chance to smoke some drugs?” Ragnar asked.

“I didn’t!”

“Yeah, where’s my share?” Stigr asked, following them into the room.

“I need to be level headed to keep up with the healing that you fuckers need.”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve technically done more healing than you with my magic wand,” Stigr added, dismissively.

“Hey, you have done none, the magic wand has done it all.”

“But, who’s wand is it? Was it?”

“No ones now,” Zagthaan replied, frustration in her tone.

“Well, maybe, Zagthaan is not going insane and this is one of the artifacts we’ve been sent after.”

“A badger,” Zagthaan said, staring at him with a deadpan expression, her tone just as flat.

“Hey, we were never told what they look like, what they were, we were just told they had immense power.”

“Technically true,” she replied to Stigr as she tried to relax.

Abs, who had entered and was part way through rummaging through the lounge, paused and looked at Stigr, cushion held up. “There’s no way there’s an artifact that’s a badger.”

“Hufflepuff would have something to say about that.”

“A magical cleaning badger,” Ragnar said, tone skeptical. “Eeeeeh.” he waved his hand dismissively.

“No, a magical honey badger, obviously,” Stigr replied.

“Oh gods, I don’t have any idea any more, about anything,” Zagthaan said, her face falling as she ran her fingers through her hair, the warhammer dangling from her wrist bumping her chestplate.

Stigr cleared his throat, his posture changing to that of a teacher about to address a class. “Badgers are small creatures with low natural armour and constitution. They can burrow through the ground at a slow speed. They have bite and claw attacks, though will just run from trouble unless cornered. They also can enter a blood rage when injured. They live either solitarily or in small clans of up to 6, typically in temperate forests.”

“I’m… I’m going insane,” Zagthaan said, collapsing on the rummaged couch. “I’m fucking insane.”

“No, you’ve gone badgers, obviously,” Stigr said.

“Would you like a lobotomy?” Ragnar offered, hand going to his boarding axe.

“I mean….” Zagthaan said, looking like she might be thinking about it. “No.. but, you know.”

“Must be the coffee talking,” Abs said, pocketting a couple of coins. “Maybe the lack of caffeine.”

“I need caffeine,” Zagthaan whined, drawing an evil laugh from Abs. “This headache is driving me fucking insane!”

Ragnar nodded. “Yeah, making you see badgers.”

“No,” she replied, shaking her head. “I was seeing badgers before when I had caffeine. Now I don’t have caffeine and I’m still seeing them.”

“Mhmm. Likely story.”

“Shall we keep exploring?” Abs asked from the doorway.

“Nope, Zagthaan is going to spend time repairing my shield,” Ragnar stated, undoing the straps and passing the damaged shield to her.

Grumbling, Zagthaan took it from him and sat, the shield on the table, her hand drawing patterns in the air and on the shield as she began to cast her magic. About fifteen minutes into the repairs, the siren started up again in the distance.

“Sweet, siren on means the Cleaner is not around,” Abs said from his watch at the door.

“Hopefully,” Zagthaan replied as she continued repairing the shield.

~

Most of an hour later, the group went back into the corridor, intent on exploring more of the rooms. As he began to try and pick the door labelled 205, several doors up and down the corridor, and the one he was working on, slammed open, lurkers, croakers and demonic dogs filling the corridor to either side of them.

As Abs backed away from the door that had opened in front of him, the dogs charged at Ragnar. The freshly repaired shield moved between them, blocking their bites as Ragnar retaliated on one of the creatures, slamming it with both warhammer and shield spike.

A pounding from behind door 206 next to the group increased as Stigr started pounding on his drums. The croakers, seemingly inspired by the beat themselves, charged Zagthaan and Stigr, barely missing with their spiked hands.

“Shield!” Zagthaan intoned, her aura surging around her and solidifying into a hazy shield between her and the croaker as she started casting a spell, longer than her regular battle spells.

Vines struck Zagthan and Abs from the lurkers further up the corridor, hitting them both, but not making Zagthaan lose her concentration on her casting. She saw a flash of steel as Abs’s rapier pierced the side of the croaker.

As the dogs tried to bite Ragnar again, the pounding on the door of room 206 stopped before a solid thunk followed by the door being ripped into the room, revealed Dur, who stepped out into the corridor.

“Dur!” Abs and Zagthaan yelled in happiness.

“What in the flaming hell is going on?!” he yelled.

“A battle, duh,” Stigr replied as Dur reached for a javelin, hurling it into one of the dogs attacking Ragnar before drawing another one to replace it.

“Tea and crumpets,” Ragnar replied blandly as he hit his target with his warhammer. “What do you think?” His shield spike followed the hammer, the dog dropping under the assault.

“You good here Ragnar?” Stigr asked, turning his attention to the croakers attacking Zagthaan and Abs.

“I’m good,” the dragonkin replied with a nod, glaring at the remaining dog as Stigr moved through the combat.

After taking a hit from a croaker, he drew on his magic, quickly beating a sharp staccato with his drumsticks before his green-grey magic burst out, catching all three hallway lurkers, killing one and injuring the other two.

Ragnar swatted away a strike from a croaker with his warhammer while Zagthaan, behind him, took a solid hit from another, causing her spellcasting to falter. Drawing on her strength, willing fate to her side, she finished the spell. “Victor, I choose you!” she yelled, pointing at the ground behind the croaker attacking her.

As her summons formed from a thin cloud of mist, she imbued her warhammer with fire, striking the croaker solidly. The small ice elemental, barely as tall as her waist, raised its club like fists, hitting the croaker as well.

The croaker spasmed, spikes erupting towards Zagthaan, Abs, Stigr and Victor. The spikes glanced off the armour of everyone except the elemental and, as it took the puncture, vines lashed out again, hitting everyone except Ragnar.

Getting annoyed at the lurkers, Abs ducked through the combat to the nearest one, hitting it a moment before Dur’s glaive struck over his head, killing the lurker.

“Where the fuck am I?!” Dur yelled angrily.

Ragnar glanced over his shoulder at Dur. “I can be angry, but I can’t be as angry as Dur,” he stated as he struck the demonic dog with both of his weapons.

Leaning over, Stigr cast a healing spell on Abs, having to reach down to touch the gnome’s head, but receiving a nod of appreciation for the healing from Abs.

The croaker, having been assaulted from an ice elemental, turned on Victor, trying to hit the summon, but hitting the wall instead, leaving itself open for a retaliation strike from Victor, which the elemental took, hitting hard.

As its arm swung back towards Zagthaan, she struck at it. Their wrists collided and her hand snapped open, the warhammer falling and rolling around the arm of the croaker, the leather thong tied to her wrist now binding them together.

The remaining lasher struck out again, its vines either missing or striking armour moments before Abs, ducking under the vines, struck it in the chest, pulling his rapier out as the creature expired and collapsed.

Hearing teeth bite flesh, Dur turned his attention back to the remaining dog which had bitten Ragnar. “Leave my friends alone!” he roared at it as he struck, glaive severing its spine and killing the creature.

With a nod of thanks, Ragnar turned his full attention to the croaker in his face, striking with both weapons and batting away its returning strike while Victor, still focussed on its target, tried to hit it, but missed by millimeters.

Stigr, letting his music fade, reached over to Zagthaan, his healing magic mingling with her aura, bolstering her as she tried to headbut the croaker. Missing her target, the croaker hit her with a pair of rapid strikes, making her eyes go wide in panic.

“Kill it! Killit-killit-killit!” she yelled as Abs, moving next to Victor, struck the croaker. Dur’s glaive also struck the croaker a moment before Stigr raked it with his claws.

Victor struck the croaker as Zagthaan struggled, barely able to draw on her aura to heal herself while dodging the strike from the croaker. “Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck,” she said, panicing at her predicament, tears of fear appearing at the corner of her eyes.

“How you guys going?” Ragnar asked, glancing over his shoulder as the group missed several times while Zagthaan struggled to free herself.

Dur’s glaive glanced off the croaker, the blade of the weapon hitting Abs in the side of the head. “Dur, watch it!”

“Ah, I’m sorry!”

“Is he though?” ragnar asked as he fought back and forth with his target.

Stigr grabbed at the leather thong with his claws, and, with his help, Zagthaan managed to finally free herself and back up, putting her back to the wall as she moved away from her assailant, but towards the one attacking Ragnar. Tears of fear started falling from her face.

“I got this,” Ragnar stated to her a breath before being hit by his target. “Ah!”

Abs, seeing the spot where Zagthaan had been, ducked under and past the croaker, getting between it and Zagthaan. His blade missed, but the creature was unable to retaliate as Dur rammed his glaive into and through the creature, killing it and pinning it to the wall for a moment before ripping it out.

Ragnar, looking impressed at Dur’s strike, missed with his warhammer before barely hitting with the shield spike.

With only one target left, the group focussed their efforts on their target. A flare from Stigr, a strike from Abs as he moved past, Ragnar’s hammer and finally, Dur’s glaive.

Collapsing to her knees, Zagthaan hugged Dur tightly, sniffling as Victor faded away into mist.

“What’s wrong lass?” he asked, patting her back.

“I thought you were gone,” she replied, face buried into his shoulder.

“Me too. Where are we?”

“A long story,” she replied, letting go and sitting back on her knees. “Can you help with the strap on my hammer?”

“Uh, yeah, but, like, what happened to your arm?”

“I cut it off,” Ragnar stated, wiping the gunk on his warhammer and shield off.

“Alright, I guess we need to talk when all of this is over, whatever this is,” Dur said.

“Mhmm,” Zagthaan replied with a teary nod as he helped tie the weapon to her wrist securely.

☆~☆