The glow of ecto-green raced toward us from the horizon, and we rushed through the camp, raising the alarm.

“Wake up! Everyone, get up! Mutes incoming!” Sir Eadric’s voice boomed.

I scrambled to Elli’s tent, yanking the flap open.

“Elli, we’ve got trouble. Rad-mutes heading our way.”

“Rad-mutes?” she asked, her eyes still narrow with sleep.

I pushed in and grabbed her arm.

“Monsters. Details later.”

Her eyes widened.

“Got it.” She quickly pulled on her overalls, grabbing her boots and tools, before realizing her mistake. “Right. Crossbow and knife.”

She blushed as she adjusted her gear.

Outside, the knights were springing into action, their armor clanking as they strapped each other up. Sir Alain paced in the center, barking orders.

“They’re coming from one direction, but they might try to surround us. Form a wall! Guillaume, take the left flank. Conrad, right. Eadric, with me in the center.”

Elli and I stepped out, and Sir Alain’s nostrils flared as he huffed.

“You two, stay close and support where you can. But stay out of our way unless we need help. Alaric first—you’ve got the frame of a soldier. Elli, only step in if Alaric is engaged. These are mutes, so they’re poisonous up close. Don’t get hit.”

We nodded and moved to our positions on the hill where we’d been on watch. The knights kneeled, locking shields together and leveling their crossbows. From our vantage, we could better see the approaching rad-mutes. They were monstrous two-headed wolves, glowing green and as large as ponies, with demonic red eyes.

“Those look tough,” I muttered, setting myself next to a tent. Elli took up a position nearby, her crossbow ready. I drew my saber, my heart pounding.

The rad-mutes dodged through a clump of birch trees, revealing their twisted, lean bodies, glowing flesh stretched taut over exposed bones. Their red eyes glinted malevolently in the dark.

“They’re here!” Guillaume shouted, aiming his crossbow.

The wolves charged in an irregular but long line that suggested either extreme stupidity or else over-confidence.

“Or hunger,” CD noted. “As our distance increases, I lose some detail and suffer from a time delay, but I’m 95% sure that these beasts are in the first stages of starvation.”

The knights started the attack with their crossbows, aiming for the approaching rad-mutes. The bolts split into a storm of smaller projectiles, tearing through the air. Several of the mutant wolves dropped instantly, bolts piercing through their skulls, hearts, or necks. Others howled in pain as they fell, only to be trampled by their pack.

“Nice shot,” Alain called. “To swords!”

The knights dropped their crossbows, drawing their swords while keeping their shields raised.

The pack closed in swiftly, slavering jaws shaking in anticipation. The first of the wolves let out a howl, the others following suit. The attack carried them straight into the raised shield line, the wolves pounding so hard that metal echoed like a gong. From behind, the knights stabbed, their blades slashing gouges that dripped thick, tar-like blood.

“I have assessed the mutants based on current scans,” CD noted.

“Let’s hear it,” I whispered.

Rad-Mute Analysis:

* Species: Mutant Canis Lupus (Two-Headed)

* Size: Approximately 5 feet tall at the shoulders, 10 feet in length

* Weight: Estimated up to 800 pounds

* Speed: Up to 35 mph in short bursts

* Strength: Capable of exerting up to 2,000 psi bite force per head

* Defense: Thick, mutated skin with heightened resistance to conventional weaponry; bone structure shows significant reinforcement

* Weaknesses: Eyes and underbelly are less armored; blood appears to be an unknown tar-like substance that facilitates the transfer of oxygen and other necessary factors using electrical current.

* Behavior: Highly aggressive, likely driven by hunger; pack coordination suggests rudimentary intelligence

* Poison: Saliva contains a neurotoxin; causes paralysis and eventual death if untreated

* Current State: Early stages of starvation; heightened aggression but reduced stamina

“That’s a lot of data,” I whispered. “I’m not sure I understand it all.”

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Elli stared at the wolves, her eyes narrowed.

“It means don’t get bitten, push them into the water if we can, and aim for their eyes.”

Alain peeked back over his shoulder.

“Into the river? Why?”

“It’ll work. Just trust us,” I said.

While the knights kept up their solid wall of steel, I dropped my shield and charged. Elli’s mouth made a big O, but before she could stop me, I ran forward, vaulting over Sir Guillaume and onto the back of one of the wolves. I stabbed it several times, seeing sparks of static flash from the tar of its blood.

“Amazing,” CD praised, seeming to temporarily forget himself. It was a moment I would have to cherish as I doubted another like it would come any time soon.

I must have hit the monster because it slumped. Leaping from its falling corpse, I darted for the trees near the river’s edge, making sure I didn’t trip over anything. Enraged, or confused, the remaining rad-wolves pulled back from the knights and howled, before turning to give pursuit. They probably saw me as the easiest target and just followed after me.

Good. That’s exactly what I wanted.

I ran as fast as I could, grateful for the head start their howl had given me, but under no doubts as to who would win an extended foot race. Getting ever nearer to the water’s edge, I spotted a large stone and a willow tree.

I had a half-assed idea before I’d started my run, but that right there completed it. I leaped onto the stone, scrabbling a little at the top to gain my footing just as the first of the wolves reached me. It leaped, attempting to use its own momentum to take me off the rock, and I jumped out of the way, narrowly landing belly-first on a long thick branch.

“Ohh--shit!” I complained loudly, using my free hand to stabilize my new position. Behind me, the rad-wolf sailed over the rock and into the Miss Sippi River.

It splashed hard, and the water reacted violently. Sparks flew from the creature's body as it convulsed, its electrically charged blood short-circuiting in the conductive river. The wolf thrashed wildly, but within moments, it went still, the crimson glow fading from its eyes.

Now there were four. The remaining wolves snarled and snapped at the base of the willow. They were tall, but not quite tall enough to reach me, and now they were angry. I saw from the hill that the knights were heading my way, as was Elli, and I took a moment to taunt the beasts.

“Come on, you mangy mutts! Is that the best you’ve got?” I yelled, keeping their eyes on me. “Come and get this juicy flesh! Take a bite out of this! Come on!”

The wolves howled in fury, clawing at the willow trunk.

“Hot day, hey? Maybe we should all go for a swim?”

Their growls grew louder, but they had learned their lesson. Not one of them leaped to try and get at me.

“You call yourselves predators? You’re just overgrown puppies!”

The largest wolf bared its fangs, its eyes narrowing.

“Yeah, that’s right! I’m talking to you, Fido! Think you can catch me?”

I could see the knights closing in, their swords and shields at the ready.

“Fetch, you ugly bastards! Fetch!” I grabbed a loose branch and threw it towards the river.

The wolves hesitated, their eyes darting between the branch and me.

“Not so brave now, are you? Come on! Let’s see what you’ve got!”

The wolves snapped at the air, their frustration palpable.

I looked out over them, seeing the knights lock into formation, and begin a marching shield wall forward. Behind them stood Elli, tears streaming down her face and glowing wetly in the ethereal light of the wolves. She had her crossbow out and was holding it awkwardly, almost blindly.

She pulled the trigger and a bolt shot out, whistling right past my ear and knocking into the wood.

“Patton Almighty!” I yelled, tumbling from the branch in sheer shock at her almost deadly fumble and landing near the sharp decline of the river’s edge, saber still in hand despite the rough slap of the sandy ground against my back.

Luckily for me, the knights had reached us. Shoving with their brute, monster core strength, they were herding the rad-wolves into the river. The creatures turned, desperately snapping at the reinforced metal of their protection.

Unluckily for me, I was right there between the wolves and the river.

I did what I knew best. Righting myself, I charged forward and leaped onto one of the beasts, stabbing down viciously over and over. The knights, seeing me stuck in the melee, stopped their advance, holding place and stabbing at the enemy.

The one underneath me shuddered and died, falling sideways as it did so, and I leaped off of it towards the next one, narrowly avoiding the suddenly snapping jaws of its second head.

On the ground and in trouble, I swung my saber back and forth blindly like a madman, howling the entire time.

The knights broke their wall and advanced to engage the beasts in melee. Sir Alain led the charge, his sword a blur of steel as he hacked at the nearest rad-wolf. His blade found its mark over and over again, slashing a series of tarry ribbons through the creature’s thick hide and severing one of its heads.

The wolf howled in agony, sidestepping in its confusion, to be finished with a blade through its other head by Sir Conrad.

Meanwhile, Sir Guillaume’s sword danced through the air, blocking one then another bite attack before kicking it with one ogrish boot. The creature dropped to its side, and he plunged his blade deep into its exposed underbelly. The creature writhed in pain, its tar-like blood oozing onto the ground as its eyes went dim.

Sir Eadric led his attack with his shield, bashing the last rad-wolf alongside one of its heads while impaling the other head from its lower jaw to the cranium. He struggled a moment with dislodging his blade but got it back just in time to parry a bite from the other head’s slavering fangs. He bashed the head again, then drove his sword through its eye socket. The creature let out one final, pitiful whimper before falling lifelessly at his feet.

I stopped my frantic attack and got back off the ground.

“Of all the Geared Hells,” I swore.

The knights stopped, gazing at me, then began to laugh as one.

“That was some fine work, Alaric,” Guillaume said with a nod. “Running them to the river like that; that took gems.”

“I—” I started to respond, but a flurry of movement came out of nowhere, striking and grappling me to the ground. I rolled once, pretty sure it was all over when I saw Elli’s tear-streaked face stare down at me.

“You dumb bastard,” she wept. “You dumb, stupid, piece of irradiated monster meat.” She pushed her face in and kissed me hard, before getting up and offering me her hand. “You don’t ever do that again, Al! Never again.”

As the knights hooted and hollered, I took her hand, letting her pull me to my feet.

“Never again,” I said, giving her what passed for a smile.

“Oh, he’s so full of it,” CD said through our link. “He’s lying through his teeth, so smack him again, pretty please. If not for yourself, do it for me.”

“I know he is,” she whispered into my neck and did as CD asked. She slapped my chest hard, once, twice. “Ass.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry, but you gotta admit that--hey!”

“Stop talking and let me slap you some more!” Elli yelled, trying to hit my arm.

Behind us, the Miss Sippi river burbled on, a wolf corpse still occasionally sparked on its journey to other places.