“Mom?” Ravina’s voice called out as she looked up to find herself resting on the lap of a figure with porcelain skin tainted with a green hue. It wasn't the first time she had this dream, and by now the figure was so familiar that the young girl blushed at the ease of which she called her. Closing her eyes, she snuggled against the woman, who chuckled playfully.

“Someone is in a good mood today.” she called with a gentle voice.

“I will be leaving for the academy today.” Ravina sat up, full of determination. “I'm not going to be powerless anymore!” she declared proudly.

The woman smiled and clapped her hands at the news,as if to cheer the girl on. “Wonderful!” she encouraged.

Ravina smiled at the acknowledgment, puffing her chest out with pride. “You know,” the woman’s smile faded as she rose to her knees, leaning forward and pushing her finger into the girl's abdomen, “The only one making you powerless is yourself.” her face was more serious than Ravina had ever seen it before, a note of sorrow in her eyes.

Ravina jumped back. “What! Nonsense!” She stammered. She covered her abdomen, a slight tremble to her hands. “I never even got a chance to speak.” She complained. It was an argument that continued in her head over and over again, and again she came to the simple conclusion “It was my fault, but I didn't know… I will know in the future, though.” She nodded at her own words, whispering, “I will know.” repeating the sentence like a mantra.

The woman hugged her gently. “That's not what I mean,” she said softly, “and you know it.”

Ravina flinched, yet the embrace was warm. She trembled. She tried so hard to ignore it, to pretend it didn't happen. That it was someone else and not her. Yet… and yet… “It hurt so much,” she finally admitted, her voice breaking with the frustration of it all. She closed her hands into fists and tried to numb the emotion by squeezing them tight as tears bubbled and fell from her open eyes. “It hurt so much. It still does.”

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“I know it does, dear.” gentle and soothing the words tickled Ravina’s ears with an annoying comfort that she didn't want to be wrapped in right now.

She stomped her foot, “I didn't do anything wrong!” she screamed. Her hands, still closed into tight fists, riched up and gripped her head over the woman's warm hug. “I didn't!” she continued as if desperate to receive confirmation.

Yet, they both sat there for a moment. In the silence of the empty space they were in and eventually Ravina’s hands fell to her sides. Her grip is relaxing. “It was all I had.” she finally admitted, “years of toiling to scrap by and It was all I had.” she couldn't help but laugh at the stupidity of it all. “I tried so hard for so long and yet… for pennies.”

Moving her hands to Ravina’s cheeks the woman held her gently. She used her thumbs to wipe the water from her cheeks and smiled kindly. “I understand, my dear.” her words pricked Ravina. She hated them, why must she be comforted, she didn't do anything wrong. Yet, tears threatened her once more. “It must have been difficult.”

“It was…” Ravina admitted. It wasn't like it was… it…

“But you know what, dear? It's okay to take a step forward,” the woman said, looking directly into her eyes. “It would be a shame to stop moving now, you have a lot of time left to enjoy. So please, take a step forward, no matter how small.” She stepped back slightly, extending her hands to gently invite Ravina to follow. “You don't have to forget or pretend it didn't happen. Just take one step so you can take another, and slowly, you understand that this is nothing but a memory. A terrible one but not something that can keep you shackled forever.”

“I’m not.” Ravina started as she slid her hand over the wound on her belly. There was no scar, but the one in her mind. “It's not… I can't…” she complained. She slowly ran a finger across the spot where the blade had embedded itself, not just into her body but into her soul as well. “It's…” but the girl had nothing more to say. It took awhile but slowly, she lifted her hand, reaching out to the woman, and then she took a step forward.

*****

Ravina moaned softly and sat up from the bed. Removing the sheets from herself, she escaped the comfort of her bed and stretched gently. Eyeing the light rolling in from the window, Ravina felt sated. She felt like she dreamed about something important but like tears in rain she could no longer recall the dream. Well, it's not like dreams were important.

Ravina walked to the mirror and examined herself, her brow furrowing. Her hand fell on an old scar, long healed. Yet… there was no pain. No ache. Taking a deep breath into her lungs, she let it out with ease. It was her first breath filled with ease and not an ounce of pain.