When the Jack of Hearts appears, expect the unexpected. He’s the wildcard that can turn the game upside down. - Fortune Teller’s Wisdom
Operation Giga Pudding (D+.5 hour)
After a cold pitcher of water was poured on his forehead, the captain found his arms and legs tied behind his back, with a broomstick between his elbows.
Whisper pushed a dirty rag further into his mouth. She rocked back and forth on the feet of the white chair she sat on. He shook the loose water off his face and stared up at her, his wrists and ankles struggled at the rope.
“Let’s talk about this mini-Fog of War Generator,” Whisper said as she unzipped the canvas bag and showed him the device. “Is it from the same person who gave you the SABOT rounds?”
The captain shook his head no, then mumbled a “mmmmurrfff” and fought against the ropes.
The door to the kitchen creaked open, only to be stopped by the table blocking it. In an instant, Whisper sprang into action. She kicked the door shut with a sharp thud, sending whoever was on the other side stumbling back. Quickly shoving the table aside, she opened the door, Lullaby at the ready.
On the other side stood a short woman, her fist clenched around a steel gauntlet that glowed with a faint green light. She wore a black leather jacket over a white shirt and jeans, her face hidden behind a white gorilla mask with blue stripes along the sides. Behind her, Pink and Marko loomed, wearing black and blue wrestling masks, their fists raised and ready for a fight.
“Take it easy, you ill-tempered twat waffle,” Whisper said in sign language with her free hand as she continued to point Lullaby at her.
“Short version,” Dragana signed and relaxed her grip.
Whisper lowered her weapon. Pink and Marko relaxed and shifted when Dragana shifted her feet. Then they stepped inside the kitchen where the captain was tied up.
“What’s going on, Baroness? We takin’ prisoners now?”
“I want to know where they are getting all this spec ops equipment from,” Whisper replied in sign language and handed her a few of the SABOT rounds.
Dragana held them up to the ambient light and rolled them as Whisper began digging through a kitchen drawer. She took a cooking funnel from inside and stuffed it into the captain’s mouth. Then she sat down on a chair next to him.
“Would you please hand me that bottle of corn oil?” Whisper replied, still in sign language.
She handed her the plastic container from the opened cabinet. Whisper then poured the container into the funnel while holding a fist full of his hair.
The captain gagged and fought against the ropes. Then his stomach began to convulse, she gripped his hair tighter.
When his skin turned splotchy purple, she pushed him forward and he began to vomit through the gag.
Dragana stepped forward, but Whisper held up her hand. Whisper then repeated the process of pouring down the cooking oil and letting him go.
“Seriously, we are better than this, right?” asked Dragana in sign. “This is beyond wrong.”
“Then go stand watch,” replied Whisper.
When Dragana left the room with Marko and Pink, Whisper began to hum a song as she swirled the remaining contents in the oil container. He watched as tears streamed from his eyes.
“I get your commitment to the Queen Pins,” Whisper said. “After all, you don’t want to be a snitch. Who does?”
He stared at her and shook his head. Whisper pulled out the funnel and threw it on the floor.
“Nobody is asking you to betray anyone or troop movements or whatever. Just a simple nod if anyone in these pictures rings a bell. I want to know who’s supplying you with this top-tier gear.”
She pulled a deck of cards from a pouch and riffled through the deck. Stopping at the hearts, she tossed the other cards down next to the funnel.
Whisper held out the ace of hearts which had a picture of Icepick. The captain’s eyes darted to the card and back Whisper who then put the card back in the box.
The next card, the King of Hearts, had a picture of a woman with long black hair and tan skin. In her hand, she held a golden sword. He shook his head no.
“Queen of Hearts, Diana Black?”
He glanced at the card. Whisper moved to the next card, Jack of Hearts.
“Was it Diamond Anny?” asked Whisper, showing him a picture of a woman with long black wavy hair and arm painted up in golden fish scales.
He shook his head no.
Next, she showed him the ‘ten of diamonds’, which featured a picture of a woman with short cut dark brown hair and pouty lips. He stared at the picture and his pupils constricted, then shook his head vigorously. A single bead of sweat ran down his forehead.
“Thank you, you have been most helpful,” she said.
Whisper poured the remaining oil over his head, her breath quickening as the captain inhaled and exhaled rapidly. Holding the blade of Lullaby to his neck with both hands, she leaned close.
"When you’re asked who sent you to purgatory, tell them it was the Blue Baroness," Whisper said, before executing him with a single swift stroke.
His body turned pale and vanished. Whisper exhaled slowly, then stepped into the adjoining room. Dragana was crouched low, the eyes of her gorilla mask level with the windowsill.
Avoiding the line of sight from the window, Whisper crawled over and joined Dragana. The sky outside remained dark, and the usual orange glow from the streetlamps was absent.
“Mind explaining whatever the hell that was back there?” Dragana signed.
"Later," Whisper signed back. “When it's safe.”
Dragana glanced over to where Marko and Pink were kneeling in a darkened corner of the room.
“Fine, whatever. I think Montie’s intel was right. I saw two Trogs carrying a crate walk into the park and disappear,” Dragana signed.
“A rally point, weapon cache, or broadcast position, we need to be sure,” Whisper signed.
She pulled out her pocket mirror and checked the surrounding area. Other than benches, iron fence, and bushes the area was relatively barren.
“Empty,” Whisper signed.
“What? I know what I saw!”
Dragana pushed Whisper in her arm, trying to get her attention as Whisper scanned the area again.
“I’m not lying I saw two of them, they were wearing canvas coats and…” Dragana signed, but Whisper placed her hands on hers to stop her from continuing.
If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
“I never said I doubt you. There was a portable Fog of War machine in the kitchen, so it stands to reason there’s a bigger one set up in the park somewhere. The problem is, we’re gonna have to get eyes on target to be sure.”
“A what?”
“Short version: it’s a device that emits a pulse, messing with the light waves hitting your eyes. It also scrambles the signals in your brain, so even with ‘Witch Sight’, all you'd see is an empty park, it’s eight-up,” Whisper signed.
Dragana sank, exhaling deeply as her shoulders sagged under as she banged her head on the wall.
"What are we going to do?" she asked in sign.
Whisper, unfazed, detached an M79 grenade launcher, its side decorated with a cartoon rabbit. She flicked a switch, casually opening the back of the weapon.
"How about a little hit-and-run mayhem?" Whisper asked.
Dragana's eyes lit up from behind the mask, the slump in her posture vanishing as she straightened up.
"Oh hell yeah! I'm tired of this slinking around crap!"
***
Dragana skulked along the side of a house painted green. Every shadow and darkened corner reminded her enemies might be lurking within the hidden area.
She paused for a moment by the house to steady her breathing. Her heart was racing with a mixture of fear, excitement, and horror. The wave of emotions fell upon her like a waterfall.
Marko and Pink stood behind her, silent in their blue and white wrestling masks. Dragana adjusted her mask and checked then checked down the street. As far as she could tell, it was clear, which offered little comfort.
“Hopefully, our crews are on patrol nearby if I run into trouble,” she thought.
Giving a thumbs up to her team, she ran down the street towards the park in full sprint.
Marko and Pink fanned out behind her taking flanking positions. She lowered her body and dragged her hand along the cobblestone road with her Earthshaker gauntlet.
The stones levitated in the air and after hovering in place for a heartbeat length of time, fired themselves towards the park.
With a quick side glance, the stones disappeared once they passed the iron gate. She considered making a second pass along the same path, till the gunfire erupted from the surrounding buildings. Chunks of stone flew from where the shots missed.
Dragana turned the corner, but she kept the park on her right side. From the windows, she heard shouting of people to cease fire. Then the guns stopped.
“Not wanting to risk hitting that Fog of War machine thingie or something equally as good in a crossfire, I must be near,” she thought.
Three figures in butternut-colored coats emerged from the gate in front of her. They brought rifles up and into the ready position, but the filters from their gas masks prevented them from obtaining a proper sight picture. Behind them, a pink-colored cloud appeared. The smoke swirled as it began to fill the street.
“Enough of that, Blue,” one of them mumbled through their masks.
“Enough? But I just got started,” she said and stopped.
She placed her hand on the road. A thin pulse of energy ran through the gauntlet and into the road. She pushed her hand into the ground, as the energy network widened.
The ground beneath two of the closest sentries ejected them into the air towards the park. The remaining sentry fired a burst from his rifle, as Dragana pointed her pinky towards him and rolled to the side. Pink Bull rushed forward; the bullets that hit were immediately absorbed by his diamond defense.
The sentry dropped the magazine and grabbed another one. Dragana turned her hand as Pink dipped before the target and grabbed his legs. Dragana sprinted and deposited a demon spice grenade in his coat before Pink threw him into the park.
In the distance, more TWA guards stepped out from the buildings followed by the pink smoke. Instead of firearms, they carried an assortment of knives and swords. A taller-looking man pointed towards Dragana as they ran towards her.
Before reaching the corner the image of the park flickered and shimmered. Behind the fence, more sentries wearing similar coats were running about as they attempted to put out the fire from the grenade.
Dragana gave a quick little wave with her fingers and ran towards a multi-story apartment building to her left while Marko and Pink followed.
***
Whisper watched from the reflection in her mirror. Turning it from side to side, she spotted her target – the Jack of Hearts.
Diamond Anny wore black pants with a tight tank top and a bra that was one cup size too small for her breasts, form-fitting black tactical pants, and painted golden fish scales on her right arm.
“Did buy that in the little girl's section, Anny?” Whisper asked as she checked out Anny’s clothes a second time.
Once Dragana, Pink, and Marko were out of sight, Whisper pulled out the jack of hearts card from her deck and tapped on it while saying, “Shave and a haircut, two bits.”
The card disappeared and reappeared as a 40mm grenade round. She loaded it into her launcher and adjusted the rear aperture to 100 meters.
Bashing out the window with the butt of the weapon, she turned it around and fired a round out with a loud ‘thunk’. The round landed in the middle of the park, emitting red smoke and making one bright flash followed by three long flashes then repeating the pattern.
“Hope you aren’t allergic to shells, fish-girl,” Whisper said.
Billowy red smoke rose into the night sky.
“Come’on Thumper,” Whisper thought picking up her grenade launcher. “Things are about to get spicy,”
She darted out of the room, crashed through the window, and raced through the backyard.
***
High above the city, a double-winged Aetherhawk circled the Boardwalk residential district. A cold wind swept through Triumph’s fur, and he barked sharply, catching Indigo’s attention.
“We’ve got a signal flare,” Triumph growled. “Looks like it’s for the jack.”
“What color is it?” Indigo asked, banking the plane in the direction Triumph pointed with his nose.
“You’re kidding, right?” Triumph said and waved a paw in front of his eyes.
“Right, color-blind. My bad,” Indigo shouted back over the roar of the engine.
As they drew closer, Indigo spotted the red smoke and matching flashes.
“Confirmed: Jack of Hearts at 34 CA 08278 0559,” he said, checking his internal BC map. “Send it, buddy!”
Triumph barked in response, his ears flattening from the wind. Ducking below the cockpit, he rummaged until he found a grapevine in a pot, strapped down securely. The dog relayed the coordinates to one of the vine’s flowers, repeating the numbers with precision.
***
The mother grapevine at Fort Carré called out the coordinates, its vines trembling with urgency. The thin branches of a weeping willow curled around the knobs and fine adjustments of the cannons.
"Red flare... red flare!" cried the grapevine.
One of the willow's branches gripped the rope lanyard attached to the cannons and yanked it back, unleashing the first volley of shells. The ground shook violently as the walls trembled from the thunderous launch.
Nearby, the oak trees stretched their sturdy limbs, retrieving another 1,025-pound artillery shell as the weeping willow's tendrils swayed in front of the breech.
"Red flare means fire twice! Move your clumsy branches!" the grapevine bellowed. "If it's red, we kill 'em dead! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ready the next volley!"
The willow snapped its whip-like vines into motion while the oaks loaded the next salvo. Another pull of the lanyard, and the cannons roared to life once more, sending the shells screaming toward their target.
The oak trees, ever diligent, prepared the next rounds for the five waiting cannons as the willow danced in anticipation. While it waited for more orders.
***
A bruised and burnt hand reached out of a smoking crater. Anny’s hair was charred and had shriveled up, her once golden scales were now covered in black soot.
“Ugh, like, I’m not going down that easily,” Anny said, pulling herself back up with a dramatic flip of her seared hair.
Barrels of oil, marked ‘Spray and Slay’, were burning, and the sound stage and speakers were in ruins. None of her TWA guards were around. Then recalled she transferred all the damage to her retinue.
“So, like, I had to let them go,” Anny said with a half-smirk. “I mean, they knew what they were signing up for, right? But I’m still here. Can you hear me? You can’t take me down!”
The sharp whistle of the second volley of shells tore through the air, crashing into the park and carving even deeper craters into the earth.
***
Montaigne waited by the map, his fingers holding the deck of cards in his shaking hands. He held his breath.
Triumph’s voice came through the grapevine, “Jack of Hearts – eliminated, no signs of life.”
With a loud exhale, he rifled through his deck until he found the Jack of Hearts, then turned to face a corkboard. The board was divided into three sections, labeled: Sighted, Targeted, and Eliminated.
He then pinned the Jack of Hearts to the eliminated section of the board.
“Well, it seems Anny was a freshwater siren all along. Honestly, I can’t fault you for choosing the fountain to boost your abilities, but it was, let’s be real, a bit predictable,” he said, with a knowing smirk.
He turned back to the map and continued to study it.
Well, statistically speaking, there’s still a chance we can pull this off,” he said, trying to suppress any trace of doubt from his mind.
***