The lights painted Kerrie's face in colors of anger and sadness, the two emotions she felt since the cruise began its journey. Neil slouched next to her, his stomach bulging even further than before. They sat with hundreds of others, captivated by the night's show—a series of circus performances.
A man sat in the center of the stage. He was a large man, his muscles carved out from boulders. The stage lights reflected off his smooth skin, casting shadows across his body. From behind the curtain appeared another man. He was of similar size, his leg muscles rippling as he approached. He was almost as wide as he was tall. He placed his hand on the seated man's head, gripping it like a basketball. Using the man's head as the fulcrum, his body lifted in the air like a gymnast. The standing man's body looked to be levitating in the air, his torso parallel to the ground, relying solely on the strength of his arm and core. Then his body pivoted upwards, his back arching until his legs stretched outwards like a star.
The man held his position. The seated man's neck shook, his traps ready to tear from its tendons and burst through the skin like a fire hose. Over two hundred pounds of pressure rested on his neck, veins almost rupturing at his temples.
The crowd applauded. The man lowered himself to the ground and helped the seated man up. They bowed and left the stage.
"Where were you today?" Kerrie whispered.
"I don't remember," Neil responded.
"And for the next performer," the announcer said, "Blades of Fury."
The next performer held four swords, two in each hand. The blades curved, their edges catching the light and reflecting back into the crowd. The man began tossing the swords in the air, the blades and shafts whirling like cyclones before returning to his hands. He moved with inhuman speed and dexterity.
"Don't play stupid with me," Kerrie said. "We are stuck on a boat and you still manage to ghost me? I called you. I texted you. Nothing."
"I don't have service." Neil waved his phone in the air.
"Bullshit." Kerrie's voice broke from a whisper.
"Can you keep it down?" Neil leaned in. "Do I look drunk to you? I promised you I would stop drinking on this trip. I intend to keep my word. Give me your phone."
"Why?" Kerrie said.
"Just give me it."
Kerrie unlocked her phone and handed it to Neil.
"Do you know how phones work? Look." Neil pointed to the service bars. "You have no signal either. Your messages didn't even send."
"Then where were you?" Kerrie leaned back in her seat.
"I told you I don't remember."
"How can you not remember? It was just today."
"Listen, Kerrie, can we just enjoy the show?" Neil's hand fiddled with something in his pocket.
"Fine." Kerrie folded her arms. She wondered what was in his hand but was drawn back to the stage.
The crowd's applause roared and the next performer walked out. She moved slowly, her legs like a curtain in the wind. From the ceiling hung a ribbon, red and glimmering. The performer wrapped herself in it, the fabric twisting around every curve, raising her body higher and higher from the ground. She wove through the fabric like a spider in its web. Her body was suspended two decks high as she held various positions. She climbed higher for the grand finale.
Like a ball of yarn, she released herself. The crowd lifted from their seat. Her body whirled and twisted freely toward the ground, the fabric unraveling from her body at an alarming rate. When it seemed she would hit the stage, she was caught by a piece of fabric during the last second. She stretched her arms outward and posed. The crowd gave a standing ovation and Neil began shifting in his seat.
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"I'm going to the bathroom," Neil said.
Kerrie didn't respond.
Neil shuffled over the people in their row, but instead of turning toward the exit, he headed toward the stage. Neil climbed the steps. When the announcer was about to introduce the next performer, Neil approached him and whispered in his ear. The announcer gave Neil the microphone and the crowd grew still.
"Kerrie." Neil took a deep breath.
Kerrie stood. Her heart sunk.
"We've been together for five years and they've been the best years of my life."
Everyone looked to Kerrie.
The best years for you, Kerrie thought.
"And I wouldn't trade them for anything," Neil said. "During this time, we've grown so close together and have shared so many memories. You're my other half and I can't picture a life without you. Kerrie." Neil's hand rummaged in his pocket until he pulled out a ring, the diamond catching the stage lights. He fell to one knee and Kerrie felt she would fall entirely. "Will you marry me?"
Heads turned back toward Kerrie, like the knobs of a faucet. The crowd waited for her response.
Her face was red. Her body froze. It felt like all the air in the theatre had been sucked out, a great vacuum that would hold this moment in suspension, unable to breathe and unable to move. Would it end?
"Kerrie?" Neil called.
"I can't," Kerrie muttered. Tears ran down her face, stinging against her skin.
Her heart pounded in her head. It felt like an oven. The silence in the theatre was deafening. Kerrie was going to tell Neil she was unhappy. But not like this. Not in front of all these people.
"Sorry, I can't hear you," Neil said. His face was pale.
"I can't!" Kerrie shouted.
The ring hit the stage with a ding. Kerrie fumbled over a row of people before bursting through the double doors.
Kerrie's fingers wrapped around the railing as she watched the clouds. The sky was purple, the sunset leaving the waters shrouded in a state of twilight. The ship looked like it stopped moving, the vessel floating above the deep.
Neil rushed out to find Kerrie. She whirled around and caught his breath before he could utter a word.
"Marriage, Neil?" Kerrie yelled. "Are you kidding me?"
"What are you so upset about, Kerrie? We've been together for five years."
"I can count."
"I thought we were ready. I thought this was the right time."
"We aren't ready for anything, Neil. I can't believe you. And here I thought you couldn't embarrass me further. Did you have to ask me in front of all those people? In what world did you think we were ready for marriage?"
"I don't know. I just thought—"
"You thought wrong. You don't even have a job. How are you going to pay for a wedding? How did you even pay for the ring?"
"I have an interview—"
"It's not even about the job, Neil. There's a bigger problem here. There's something wrong between us."
"What's wrong, Kerrie? I'm trying my best."
"Well, your best isn't good enough. I'm carrying this whole relationship on my back. I am tired. I'm tired of this relationship. I'm tired of your bullshit. I'm tired of you."
The words came at Neil like a sledgehammer to the gut. Kerrie watched him fall apart like shattered glass. No glue would be able to put the pieces together again. But Kerrie couldn't stop. Her body surged with emotions. She would always tuck these thoughts away, like a creature kept to the shadows. It would brood in the deepest corners of her thoughts. She would feed it from time to time. But she let a part of it out and now she couldn't close the door. The creature ravaged her thoughts, smashing and stomping on any sense of control and compassion. Kerrie had put up with Neil for too long and he would hear it. He would listen.
"I love you, Kerrie."
"I don't love you anymore!" Kerrie tried to stop the words from spilling from her mouth. But they felt so right. It felt good to say even though they crushed Neil.
"You don't love me anymore?" Neil looked out across the dark waters. "Just like that? After everything we've had together? After everything we've put into this relationship?"
"Everything we've put into this relationship? You mean everything I've put into this relationship. There is no relationship without me, Neil. I'm what holds this relationship together because you don't put any effort into it."
"How do I not put anything into this relationship? You really believe this relationship is all you?" His face twisted, sadness morphing into anger.
"Neil, I feed you and drive you places. I clean our house and pay for our expenses. Would you like me to wipe your ass too?"
Neil was about to open his mouth, but Kerrie cut him off.
"You've taken advantage of me since day one. You put nothing into this relationship. All you do is take. You take and take until I have nothing left to give. Well, now I'm done, Neil. You've sucked me dry. This trip was a terrible idea and I wish I'd never come."
The conversation paused, a period of silence that only lasted a few seconds but seemed to draw out like the horizon. When Kerrie opened her mouth, she spoke calmly.
"I can't marry you, Neil," Kerrie said. "I'm not happy."
Neil nodded and walked away.
Kerrie watched him go and felt a pang of regret for how it unfolded. But she also thought she would be happy if she never saw him again.