Breakfast is at nine. I stroll down the stairs around half-ten. As expected, the house is quiet. I know I cannot avoid everyone forever, but I am still smarting from yesterday’s humiliation. I just need some time to gather my thoughts, before I can face the others.
I enter the dining room. It is deserted. On the table is a fruit bowl with some oranges and bananas. I grab a banana and turn to leave.
“You can sit and eat.” A voice calls. I look to see Gabe approaching. He is in his uniform – green combat trousers and a black t-shirt. His blond hair is wet and sleeked back revealing his high forehead. His moss-green eyes watch me quietly as if I have just recovered from some shameful disease.
“Thanks, but I am not hungry.” A hot flush rises up my neck. I should have waited more before venturing downstairs.
“You should eat.” His voice is calm. “You need to eat. Driving all the way from LA to Maine is not a child’s play. You must be tired.”
I shake my head. Yes, I am tired, and my body still hurts from the crash. There are purple bruises on my arms and the side of my neck. I haven’t slept until late at night, the haunting sounds from the forest kept me awake.
But what hurts more is the pain of humiliation. The feeling of being thrown under the bus by my own sister.
“Anyway. I think it was incredibly brave. You should not listen to Olivia. Accidents happen. You should not blame yourself for what you cannot control.”
I sit at the table, clutching the fruit to hide my quivering fingers. I feel wretched. He is being nice but I do not deserve his kindness. I am at fault, and I know it.
“Olly was right. I do get nervous. It was my mistake. I should have been careful.”
“Your only mistake is that you drove when you were tired. You should have given the wheel to Olivia, especially with your condition.”
His green eyes are full of concern. I purse my lips. I do not know how much he knows about my ‘condition’. Olly might have said more after I left last night. She is a blabber mouth, especially when she has audience. And talking about my handicap for the sake of general entertainment is a hobby she picked from grandma.
When we were little, my poor health was an excuse for our term-time holidays.
When we grew up, it made Olly too stressed to focus on studies.
Every breath I took was measured and calculated on their health parameter. It was a fond game Olly played with grandma.
Anyway, whatever Olly said or did, it does not change the fact that I am at fault. Heart problem or not, I should have been more responsible as a driver.
“Still, I am sorry. I’ll apologise to Adam. I hope he is okay.” That was all I could hope for, that he was not seriously injured.
Gabe shrugs.
“Don’t worry about it. Just take it slow. It was silly of Jeff to put you on spot like that. Adam had warned us all but Jeff being Jeff had to bring it up.”
“Adam warned you not to talk about the accident?”
“Yes. It was Adam who rescued you from the crash spot. He moved you to a safe place, gave you first aid, then called us. He could not stay as he had to be somewhere else.” He pauses to shift his weight from one foot to another. I get a feeling of a penny being dropped, slowly, silently, as it reaches the bottom.
“He also warned everyone not to blabber about it. People get finicky for no reason here, especially if it’s to do with Adam. Mom too is a worrier. He just wanted to avoid trouble.”
Something floods my being, guilt, gratitude, wonder. There is a surge of admiration. I can’t wait to see Adam. If I knew where he was, I would have flown there right away.
“I hope he is okay. It was a bad crash.”
“Oh, don’t worry about Adam. He can look after himself. Just take care of yourself and your sister.”
Gabe leaves through the front door, leaving me to ponder. A minute later, I follow him out. Outside, it’s sunny with a mild breeze. He walks towards the far end of the compound where some young men train in a large field. I watch as Gabe walks away, then turn it in the opposite direction.
*****
I am back to where I was yesterday, standing at the steps of the great big building, which was the camp office. It’s an old brick building of moderate proportions, and like any other government building, it has an aura of detached authority.
I climb up the steps and walk in. Inside is a sizeable foyer painted white with monochrome tiles. Flanking each side are plain yet sturdy doors of dark ash. A couple of them are meeting rooms, one is marked as storage. The next one is marked for ‘staff’. I cross the room to walk to the last door right at the centre. It’s a four feet wide double door, unmarked, yet ostentatious.
This must be John’s office.
I pause for a breath and gather my courage. An agitated voice filters through the creak.
“But they are just useless creatures. They have no business to be here. They can’t even look after themselves. They cannot be here.”
“They are my responsibility, Tamara. I am honour bound to look after them.”
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
“No, you are not. Adele was not exactly your friend. She has no right to offload her burden to you.”
“They are not a burden, Phyllis. You know they have a right to be here as much as anyone else.”
“Only if they are one of us, which they are not. They belong to the city. They will be safer there.”
“That is yet to be proved.”
“It is already proved, John. The way they blundered through the forest shows they have no instinct for survival. They are weaklings, John. We cannot babysit them all their life.”
“There is no need to overthink this, Phyllis.” John sounds tired of argument. “We have to give them a chance. Time will tell where they belong. And if they are able to take the challenge, then why not?”
I wonder what they are talking. I feel like I know but do not want to acknowledge. Listening to doors never did anyone any good. I should just talk face to face.
I knock once and walk in. As expected, John is sitting at the head of a table. Phyllis sits on a sofa a bit further away. Next to her is Tamara, standing with her hands on her hips. She is agitated. Her flaming red hair looks like it's on fire. Her lips curl in disdain as she spots me.
“Look who is here! Listening to the door, are we? How dare you barge in! Don’t you know you need an appointment see the alp…”
“It’s okay Tamara.” Phyllis takes over smoothly, gliding between me and her elder daughter. “Diane doesn't know our rules. And John has time now to for an impromptu meeting.”
Tamara stands seething, crossing her arms, her eyes boring holes in me. I am already on my tenterhooks. What I heard just now is puzzling as hell. I need to be careful.
“I need to talk to you two…privately.” I address to John and Phyllis. A weird grinding sound emanates from Tamara, but I have no time to ponder it. “I can wait outside until you finish. Just let me know when you are free.”
“Tamara is just leaving.” John says smiling as he leans back in his chair. “We can talk.”
“But father…”
“Leave Tammy.”
She flinches as if slapped in the face, then leaves without a second glance. I cannot help but feel a little relieved. A bit less hostility will serve me well. And a bit of adult attitude. Jeff and Tamara are the two I need to watch out for.
“Take a seat.” Phyllis motions me to a chair. I don’t remember her moving from the sofa. I shake my head and sit, clutching my hands tight in my lap. I need to keep my wits about. It feels like I have entered a dragon's den.
“I…want to apologise… for the accident.” I start where I had planned to begin. “I wasn’t careful. I am sorry.”
Phyllis’s face takes a hard look. John waves me away.
“It’s okay. Water under the bridge. Adam has seen worse.”
“I did not mean to do it. Ever since we left LA, I was just out of sorts. And when we met the motel man, I just got weird vibes. I hope I haven’t done a serious harm.”
“He is fine,” Phyllis cuts me off. “He survived. Of course he got hurt, but my boy is strong.”
My heart sinks. How much ever I apologise, it’s not going to be enough. It’s not just about the accident. There is more to this. There’s much more behind the hostility I am receiving. Oh, where is Olly? I wish she was here to share the burden. However annoying, she has a knack for putting things in perspective. People are just nicer around her. Half the job is done by her looks. The rest of the half, she does by her attitude.
“I am sorry again. If there is anything I can do to…”
“Just don’t drive again.” Phyllis’s voice is curt. I look in surprise.
“I am sorry?”
“I said, you are not allowed to drive while you are staying with us. It’s dangerous. You are clearly not up to it. I wonder how you passed their driving test. I thought human driving tests are quite…”
“That’s enough Phyllis. I thought you had somewhere else to be.” John’s clear command sounds through the air. There is a sudden shift in Phyllis’s demeanour. She shrinks and nods obediently to bow out. But not before giving me a scathing look.
My face is hot with embarrassment. My head is hung low. I do not know how I can sit here after such humiliation.
“Don’t take it to heart. Phyllis is quite sentimental when it comes to Adam.”
I nod quietly. I would like to know why. I get they are worried because of the accident, but he is not a child. And if he is doing okay as they have assured me so far, surely they should tone down their anger?
I exhale and adjust my thoughts. It’s a tangle of many threads. I need to take each out gently.
“I also have something else to talk about.” I say looking back at him. “And I hope you know what I am going to ask. I would appreciate if I get some answers.”
John nods and gets up to pour a drink of water, then walks around to place in front of me. Now that Phyllis of gone, he looks quite relaxed. It’s as if he has to give her the advantage of being a wife. He owes it to her for being a man.
I wonder how their equation is as a man and wife. Evens, odds, primes, integers, decimals or even fractions. The thought fascinates me.
“You want to know how I know Adele.” John pulls me out of my mental math.
“Yes.”
“There is nothing much. I was a friend of your grandfather. I was a witness when Rey married Adele. We were close for some time but drifted apart after Rey’s death. I never knew she named me your guardian in the will. In fact, I did not even know that Selene is no more.”
I do not know what to say. So they were close, but not close enough for him to be mine and Olly’s guardian. I do not know what grandma was thinking when she sent us here.
No wonder they consider us a burden.
“I am so sorry for the trouble we caused you. I promise we will leave soon. Let me just sort out a few things…”
“It’s not that.” John sighs and gets up to go stand at the side window. I realize it gives him a full view of that side of the camp. I can see the soccer field, the main road coming in from the entrance gate. On the sides are training fields. Vehicles are parked and young men are out and about. No one is idling. Everyone is busy doing their allotted work.
They all look fit, as in the prime of their health. Whatever the age, there is a spunk in every step.
“You see this camp?” John notices me looking and calls me to stand next to him.
“This camp is…very old. Generations of men have given their life to keep it safe. We have our own traditions, customs. Rules and regulations. They are not just what the standard military regulations are, they are our pride and our way of life.”
Hmm. I do not respond. I do not understand. It sounds like a tribe. Is he saying they are a tribe of military people?
“To live here forever, you need to be up to a certain standard. Physically and mentally. We train our young right from the childhood. Any newcomers coming in are judged against the same standards, or we risk falling apart.”
I still have no response. I don’t think he expects any. I just feel like he wants us to sit for an exam. Like the immigrants have to do when they take citizenship. 'Life in The USA', 'Life in The UK', blah, blah, blah.
I can ace it. Passing exams is my favourite pastime. I can't vouch the same for Olly, though.
“There is no place for a weakness that would render us vulnerable to the enemy. We must be prepared at all times.”
Huh? What enemy is he talking about within the country? It’s not like we are on the border? Is this man even sane, or is this some kind of open-air asylum?
“I know I am not making much sense,” he exhales as if he reads my mind. “But I am not at liberty to divulge any more at this moment. All I can say is that you need to earn your stay. There is a certain standard of behaviour and strength that you need to achieve.”
"And then, when you get to know more about us," his eyes look wistful. "You might not want to live with us after all. So the choice is yours."
I come out of John’s office perplexed. First the conversation I heard at the door and now this. Some bells are ringing but they are quite few and faraway. When the puzzle is this complicated, I need a pen and paper but alas, I do not have it handy.
First and foremost, it seems like he expects us to train. To be eligible to live here at this camp, we must be physically and mentally fit. That itself is a hurdle I cannot cross. Olly still might be okay, but I should start packing my bags now itself.
***** *****