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Shadow of Anaurian
Chapter 64 - Homesickness

Chapter 64 - Homesickness

A stunned silence followed Jechrin's words.

Arturyn was still staring at him with a blank look, as though he didn't quite understand what he'd just said. Legan was frowning thoughtfully, like he was trying to solve a difficult math equation. Elerick had looked up from his paperwork and was glancing around, clearly wondering what was going on.

Erin looked down at the table.

For some reason she suddenly thought back to everything she'd seen in Jechrin's memories. The grey stone palace and its stained glass windows full of colorful Relians rearing and prancing. The book-lined study where Jechrin and Lanien had stayed up working late into the night. The green-haired attendants who'd quietly brought in trays at mealtimes or braided gold and silver cords into Jechrin's long black hair for formal occasions.

She'd had in mind that all those things...all those people...were still there waiting for him back in Myrikar. But...were they all gone now? All crumbled to dust by the passing years?

It reminded her of that moment she'd found herself on the Dark Plane, completely alone, with nothing but a dead, barren landscape no matter where she looked or how far she ran.

She shivered.

Then she felt someone place a hand on hers and give it a light squeeze. She looked up to see Jechrin watching her with gentle eyes, as though he knew exactly what she was thinking about.

Don't think about it too much, she heard his voice say in her mind. Don't dwell on the bad things. That's how the darkness gets in and devours you, remember?

He gave her a small smile and squeezed her hand again before turning back to the others.

"If that much time has passed since you were in Myrikar, then hasn't the situation there completely changed?" Legan asked, still frowning. "Arturyn called you the true king, but what kind of claim do you actually have, after so many years? I know Relians generally have a longer lifespan than Silmariths do, but wouldn't the country have gone through at least a dozen other rulers by now? Would they even still remember that you exist?"

"No, most of them won't remember me at all," Jechrin said easily. Then he pointed at the crest still visible on his forehead. "But they remember this. I have the king's sigil. It can't be replicated, no matter how much time passes." He lowered his hand. "Besides...there haven't been a dozen other rulers since then. He might have changed his name and appearance a dozen times or more, but the same person has been ruling Myrikar ever since I left. And I'm quite certain that he still remembers me."

Erin's eyes widened. "Lanien?"

A dark look crossed briefly over Jechrin's face. "Lanien."

"Your cousin?" Legan asked. "The one who trapped you in that dead world? How is he still alive? Your magic hibernation story is a little hard to believe, but I can at least see how it's theoretically possible. But how could he have been alive and actively running the country for such a long time?"

Jechrin pointed at himself again. "If I can make a new body, why can't he? Though the method he's been using is...a little less savory...." He glanced at Erin. "I'd rather not go into the details right now. Suffice it to say that if you want to extend your natural lifespan by such a large amount, you need a source of energy to draw from. In my case, I found a way to tap into the magic of the Dark Plane. It had some...unpleasant side effects...but it was enough to keep me alive. In Lanien's case...well, he's currently the king of Myrikar. So he has a whole country full of potential energy sources, doesn't he?"

"You mean...?" Legan's eyes widened. Then he, too, glanced in Erin's direction. "Right. Let's discuss the details another time...."

"How can you be sure that it's still the same person, if he's been switching to different bodies?" Arturyn seemed to have finally unfrozen enough to start asking questions again.

"He has a Silver mark," Jechrin said simply. "And I have the Silver sigil. The sigil bearer is the head of the clan and is aware of everyone who carries that clan's mark. So the person who currently has the Blue sigil will know that Teral is dead, for example, and will probably send someone to retrieve his horn. That's the main reason I asked for it—to keep it away from them."

"I see." Arturyn frowned. "We're keeping the bodies...or what's left of them, after the areots...under heavy security, so I think they're safe for the moment. But I'll take care of the issue of the horns as soon as possible." He hesitated and then added, "If you're aware of all the Silver marks, does that mean you know...?"

"About the other one you're in contact with? Yes." Jechrin gave Arturyn a solemn look. "You should tell him that there isn't much time left. He needs to choose which side he wants to stand with. You can tell him you've spoken with me if you want, but I'd prefer that you didn't tell him my current identity or location. And don't mention Erin for now. I'll contact him myself if I decide I can trust him."

"I understand." Arturyn nodded. Then he looked at Erin. "Speaking of which...is it really all right for Erin to have that mark? I can understand why you gave it to her when you did, but isn't it dangerous for her to keep it?"

Jechrin shrugged. "It's not as dangerous as you might think. There are hardly any Silver clan members left, so most Relians won't recognize the crest even if they see it. Galeth didn't. Teral knew what it was because he was a marked Blue...but because he knew, just seeing the Silver crest was enough to sway his loyalties and make him switch from attacking to protecting us. She'll be in danger if Lanien or anyone truly loyal to him find out about her. But it shouldn't be that difficult to hide her from them, at least for now."

"I guess I'd better get that illusion charm finished," Legan said with a sigh. "How long will the contract need to settle before canceling it is even an option?"

"At least a few months." Jechrin frowned. "The fact that we already had a magic entanglement complicates things a little. It's going to be difficult to break our connection completely. That's probably the biggest advantage of her keeping the mark for the time being—it allows me to control our connection and keep the influence of the Dark Plane's magic away from her. If I remove the mark, things might go back to how they were before...though I suppose it wouldn't be quite as bad now that she at least knows what's going on."

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"What other effects did you give her mark?" Arturyn asked. "You obviously transferred some of your language abilities to her. And since you were trying to protect her from Teral at the time, I'm guessing it increases her resistance to mental manipulation magic, like my mark does."

Jechrin nodded. "Yes. It should also improve her ability to sense and control magic somewhat, since that's the Silver clan's main trait. I could grant her some of my other abilities as well, but most of them would be too overwhelming for her right now. They'll only be useful once she has enough magic training to be able to control them."

"That's not a bad deal...." Legan gave Erin a slightly envious look. "I mean, you shouldn't ignore the danger aspect, but I can tell you that plenty of mages would happily walk around with a target on their heads if it would improve their magic sensitivity. Not to mention the other benefits.... Erin should be the one to decide whether or not it's worth it to her, of course. But think carefully before you decide to give up that mark, girl. There's a reason why Arturyn still has his, despite the risks."

"Well, I have to admit, it's awfully useful..." Arturyn said with a wry smile. Then he gave Erin a sympathetic look. "I understand it's quite a big decision. But it's not one you have to make right away. It sounds like you're stuck with that mark for a few months, either way. So take your time and think about what you want to do."

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When Kirchel got back a couple of hours later, Erin was curled up in a chair next to the window in Jechrin's bedroom, staring out at the palace gardens. The fight with the areots had fortunately been around on another side of the palace, so the view from this window showed no sign of it other than Imperial Guard members occasionally walking by.

Jechrin was exhausted after their long talk with Arturyn and had fallen asleep again soon after Legan helped him back into the bedroom.

Well...he was lying down on the bed with his eyes closed, at least. Erin still wasn't entirely sure if his puppet body could actually sleep or not.

Kimoja had gone to speak to Legan and Arturyn in the next room, so the two of them were alone. But the door was open, and Erin could hear the soft sounds of people talking and moving around on the other side of it.

She heard Kirchel's voice there, too, quite a while before she actually came into the bedroom. Jechrin had given them permission to tell both Kirchel and Kimoja the truth about him, and Arturyn and Legan had said they would take care of it so that Erin didn't have to keep repeating the story.

Finally, Kirchel appeared in the doorway. She paused for a moment, looking over at Jechrin with a complicated expression. Then she came over to where Erin was sitting and pulled another chair up close to hers.

"Hi," she said, keeping her voice low so as not to disturb the presumably-sleeping Jechrin. "How are you feeling by now?"

"Okay, I guess. Still kind of tired."

"Well, that's understandable. You've been going through a lot. Even more than I realized...." Kirchel sighed and looked out at the view of the gardens. "Arturyn and Legan just told me about Jechrin. And about what that scar on your forehead really is....

"You don't need to feel bad about not telling me before, all right? It's some pretty heavy stuff. I'm sure you're still trying to figure out exactly what's going on yourself, so I can see why it was difficult to say anything. And we don't need to talk about it now, if you're not ready to. Just know that I'm here for you, okay? I'll do whatever I can to help you out."

Erin nodded silently, biting her lower lip. Kirchel gave her a sympathetic smile and patted her arm.

The two of them sat quietly for a while, looking out the window together.

"Hey, Kirchel?"

"Hmm?" Kirchel turned to look at Erin.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Kirchel looked surprised. "For what?"

"For not understanding what you were going through when we were in Raylmiyr. How mixed up and lonely you must have been feeling. I was just trying to encourage you, but...now that I think about it...I was probably being kind of insensitive.... You remember when you were telling me about being a part of different worlds but not really fitting into any of them? I didn't really get it then. But...I think I'm starting to now...."

"Erin...honey...." Kirchel's expression became deeply sympathetic, and she leaned forward and pulled Erin into a warm hug.

Erin closed her eyes, which were suddenly stinging with tears, and pressed her face against Kirchel's shoulder. "When can I go back to your house? It's not like it's bad here, but...I just...I just...want to watch TV for a while...and eat a peanut butter sandwich...and...and...." Her voice broke, and she paused for a moment, sniffing. "I just...need some normal...."

"I know..." Kirchel said softly, stroking Erin's hair. "I understand. I'll talk to Kimoja about it, all right? We can go back as soon as she says it's okay. And don't worry about what happened in Raylmiyr. It doesn't matter if you didn't quite understand or if you didn't say exactly the right thing at the right time. You were there with me, and I knew you were on my side. That's the most important thing." She gave Erin's shoulders a little squeeze. "And if we have to be misfits, we can at least be misfits together, right?"

It took Erin a few minutes to calm down again. Kirchel held her the entire time, gently stroking her hair or rubbing her back.

"I think I'm okay now," Erin said finally, straightening up again. "Thanks."

"Anytime," Kirchel said with a gentle smile. "I'm going to go see what Kimoja and Arturyn think about you going back to the human world, okay? I'll be right back."

Erin watched her leave the room and then looked over at Jechrin. He'd mentioned several times that it was better for him if she stayed close by. Would it be a problem if she went back to the human world? She didn't want to abandon him...but....

It's all right. It's a little inconvenient for me if you go back, but it's not a serious problem now that I have things arranged with Legan and Arturyn.

She scowled at him. "Were you reading my thoughts again?"

Not your thoughts. Just your emotions. You were talking with Kirchel about going home, and then you looked at me and felt conflicted. It wasn't hard to guess what you were thinking.

"Have you been able to read me like that this entire time?"

Well...yes. I'm a Relian. Sensing other people's emotions is normal for me.

That was kind of a disturbing thought.... Erin made a face and decided to change the subject. "What about talking without talking? Is this normal for Relians, too?"

Not exactly. But in my case, it's easier to talk to you directly than to go through the puppet.

"Can I learn to talk back to you like that? It's going to be weird if someone walks in on us having a conversation like this...."

Eventually. It will take some training, and neither of us are quite up to having magic lessons at the moment. But I can teach you later on, if you want to learn.

"Okay. You seem to be a pretty good magic teacher. Arturyn was really impressed at how fast you taught me to light candles." Erin was quiet for a minute. "Hey, is it really okay if I go back to the human world?"

It's really okay. I'll be a little slower recovering my strength if you're not close by, but as long as Kimoja and Legan are willing to keep helping me, it's fine. Jechrin paused, and when he spoke again, there was a touch of wistfulness in his voice. And...I understand how you feel. I'd like to go home, too, if I could....