“Up with ye now!” A deep yet quiet voice sounded next to Snow’s ear.
Snow blinked himself awake and found himself staring into the embers of a fire, still a bit warm, and wrapped in blankets so soft it felt like he was rolling in clouds. Of course. They were still at the farmhouse. Yawning, he sat up and looked over to see Otis gently shaking La awake as well, who awoke in time with a great deal more mumbling and grumbling and telling Crow to ‘piss off and leave me alone’. A glance towards the window told him that it was not yet light. Good! That meant he could watch a sunrise – the first one he’d ever get to see. A thrill went through him at the thought. As La was still struggling to come to terms with the word ‘awake’, Snow leaped to his feet and folded up his blanket neatly. There was so much room in here to move around! He’d gotten so used to waking up in a small wood cart that the fact he could even stand up straight right now was exciting. True, this was his third day not waking up in that cart but he’d spent one night in the Master’s tent and the next passed out in a barn, exhausted, with the excitement of being free ruined quickly by the arrival of circus guards. But this time… this time he really did feel free.
As Otis moved away from La, Snow crouched down next to her. “Good morning,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.
She squinted at him, frowning. “I guess it is.”
Leah poked her head around the corner, four mugs skillfully balanced in her hands as she held them up for the small group to see. “It’s a chilly morning. Let me make us some hot drinks and then we can talk before the kids get up.”
Some of the older girls hardly looked like kids to Snow, and in fact at least or two of them were probably older than he was, but Snow nodded anyway. He guessed this was about Crow and following him to the Wildlands, since Otis had said the night before that it wasn’t a topic to talk about when little ones were around. That was one very dark thought to dampen his otherwise cheerful morning. Still, he was determined not to let it ruin everything, if only to help lift La’s cranky spirits. He never saw her so early in the morning and had no idea she was like this when she woke up – it was a little funny, if he was being honest with himself, but he never would tell her that.
They settled themselves outside in order to avoid waking anyone up, hot drinks in hand, and Otis lit a few lanterns so they could see one another in the dark. It was a little chilly but the first sip of the drink Leah had given him warmed him from the inside out and his eyes lit up as he stared with awe into the mug of hot liquid.
“What is this?” he asked, not even trying to keep the amazement out of his voice.
She smiled. “Melted and heated chocolate with milk. It’s a treat, something we normally have for a dessert on a cold night, but I had a feeling that neither of you had ever had it before and that seemed a terrible pity. Besides, it’s the perfect thing for a morning like this.”
And so it was. Next to him, La nodded her agreement and it seemed a little less likely that she’d rip of the head of the next person to talk to her. In fact, she was the next to speak.
“As lovely as this is – truly, thank you for the drink and kindness – I’m guessing you didn’t wake us up just to talk about the weather?”
Snow leaned forward in his chair slightly, eyes widening. This was what he really wanted to hear. How to get to Crow, how to tell him that his impossible task was no longer necessary, how to right everything that was wrong. And despite his excitement to be free and to see a sunrise and all sorts of other amazing things, a great deal really did feel wrong right now. He’d never have made it so far without La but still, a piece of them felt missing when Crow wasn’t with them.
“You’d be right, a-yep,” Otis said solemnly with a nod. “I can see ye ain’t going to be likely turned away from going to the Wildlands but it ain’t no safe place to go. If ye ain’t prepared, ye won’t survive, a-yep.”
Snow shrugged, his face falling slightly. What else could they do? Crow had told him that he wouldn’t just run away and give up his chance to save Snow and La, or at least return to them someday, even if it meant his life. Snow would do the same.
Leah snuggled herself a little closer to her husband, hands wrapped around her mug for extra warmth. “I have lived here a long time. This is my family’s farm, you see, and I was the eldest so it went to me – and to Otis, of course, when he wandered in from his travels and decided at last to settle.” She paused in her speech to tilt her head up and smile fondly at him. “My point,” she continued, “is that there are many secrets in this land. Many well-hidden but there are some that are hidden now that weren’t so very long ago, some so recently even that I remember them from when I was a child. Do you believe in magic?”
This was addressed to both of them and they both nodded wordlessly in response. Snow was a little confused as to where this was all going but intrigued nonetheless and while he continued to sip at his mug of heated chocolate, his eyes never left her face.
Leah smiled faintly. “I thought you both might or I’d never bring it up. It sounds fanciful, really, and sometimes I wonder if I didn’t imagine it all…” Her voice trailed off and her eyes took on a far away look until Otis nudged her and she jolted, shooting them an apologetic smile. “Sorry. As I was saying, I was quite young when this happened but there was a time I wandered away from the farm and got myself lost. I walked in circles for a while before I started to get worried but it wasn’t until the sun started to set that I got properly scared. I was tired from walking so much and at last I sat down by this massive old tree near a little stream and cried and cried until I fell asleep, only I mustn’t have slept very long because I woke up to something poking me on the shoulder.”
Snow let out a little gasp. La shot him an amused look and he shrugged. So what? It was a good story and he motioned eagerly for Leah to continue.
“It may all sound a little fantastic, but it was a fairy. I’m sure of it. She couldn’t have been taller than two feet, perhaps even less, and was holding a little lantern and staring at me with these marvelously beautiful brown eyes. The most incredible, though, were the faint pink wings that shimmered from her back and held her just enough off the ground that she was nearly as tall as me once I stood. I’d been terrified of being out alone all night but when I saw her, I wasn’t scared at all. I told her hello and she asked me what I was doing out so late. I explained everything and she invited me to walk with her, talking all the way with such interesting stories that I didn’t even realize I was home until she said goodbye and vanished all of a sudden.” Leah sighed. “I wish I could remember more details but I was very young at the time.”
La fidgeted in her seat from where she was curled up in a wooden rocking chair across from Snow. “I don’t mean to be rude, really, but I don’t understand how this is supposed to help us find Crow.”
“Because there was one more detail. When I went back and every other time I’ve gone searching, I’ve found the stream but not that ancient old tree and out of all the things she told me, I remember most vividly that she was there to help. A guide, maybe. I can only guess that for her own safety she’d only appear when someone really needed her.” A hoarse and slightly bitter laugh escaped her. “Naturally, my family insisted that it was all a dream and I’d managed to wander back alone, scared enough of the dark that I’d conjured something up in my imagination to make me feel safe. Maybe they were right. But I’ve never been able to shake the belief that it was all true and if it was, maybe there is something there that can help you. I know it isn’t much–”
“Even if it is just a story and we only ever find a stream,” La interrupted, “you’ve done a lot for us. Food and shelter and kindness is a lot more than we’ve had in a long time. We’re grateful.”
Leah smiled faintly, bowing her head in acceptance of La’s thanks. “Sometimes I think there’s more cruelty than kindness in this world these days. Suspicion and tension is growing quickly, even amongst neighbors and normal friends and, well, I figure if there’s anything my family or I can do to help change that, however little, it’s worth a try.” Untangling herself from her husband’s arms, she stood up and stretched. “I’m going to wake Dahlia, Anneli, and Ronja to help with breakfast. If your quest is as urgent as you make it sound, I assume you will want to leave today but you’ll leave with full bellies and some food to take with you and that’s that.”
La flew to her feet in a moment, nearly dropping her mug in her haste. “Let me help you this time! Please. You’ve been so good to us to give us shelter and food, it’s the least I can do.”
She was right. Though Snow had no idea to operate anything in a kitchen, he didn’t want to seem ungrateful or lazy by just sitting here so he, too, reluctantly started to stand until La pushed down on his shoulders and forced him back into the chair. “You can help clean up. Sit here. Watch the sunrise; it’ll be up soon.”
No one argued with her when she spoke in that tone. Otis just said quietly, “I’ll help him clean up, too, and the rest of ye girls relax after breakfast. Stayin’ with the boy, a-yep.”
So it was agreed and La and Leah headed inside, talking in quiet tones. It wasn’t but a few minutes later that the sound of more feet could be heard throughout the house – the rest of the girls waking up, no doubt. It was a busy household! Snow curled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, staring thoughtfully into the still dark horizon though he jolted a little when Otis blew out the lanterns.
“Easier to see the sunrise,” the big man said. Snow nodded his understanding.
He was glad that Otis had stayed, though he didn’t feel much like talking. It was just good somehow not to have to think alone and since Crow couldn’t be here… well, he was grateful for the company that he had and the kindness that they showed. Otis seemed to understand that Snow didn’t want to talk and the two of them settled into a comfortable silence, both staring out into the sky, lost in their own thoughts.
There was a sliver of dim light beginning to show itself now and Snow never took his eyes off of it, imagining with all of his heart that Crow was enjoying the sight beside him, a little smile on his normally grim features, and that all was well and right in the world. He imagined that no one was chasing them and that La sat where Otis did, humming softly to herself, and he imagined that the circus had never existed. That he’d never been a captive and that his friends had never been slaves. He imagined a world where peace and love triumphed over fear and hatred and that everyone could be as kind to their neighbor and friend as they wished themselves to be shown kindness. And as the sun finally broke over the horizon, sending colors and patterns dancing across the sky in such a way that Snow hadn’t been able to imagine in even his wildest dreams, he imagined that he could finally take flight and soar across the sky without ever having to come down. Faintly, he smiled. The moment was beautiful, yet somehow tragic in its loneliness. Bittersweet. He wondered if Crow was watching the same sunrise from wherever he was, or if he stared at the moon at night and thought of his brother. He wondered if Crow was even still–
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“Beanpole!”
Snow visibly jumped away from the sound, fear flashing across his face though it was but a fleeting moment and gone the moment he realized it was just Flicka. He offered her a smile.
“Flicka,” Otis said gently. “Inside.”
“But-”
“I don’t mind her,” Snow said quickly. It was a welcome distraction from the dark thoughts that were beginning to take over his mind. He waved towards the sunrise. “Something so beautiful is best enjoyed with company anyway!”
Flicka screwed up her face, crawling up next to Snow with her doll clutched in her arms. “It’s just a sunrise. They happen every day.”
“But I’ve never seen one.”
She stared at him and he could almost see the wheels turning in her mind, deciding whether or not to believe him. “You’re a very funny man,” she decided finally. “Funny, skinny, beanpole man.”
“Funny, skinny, beanpole man,” Snow repeated agreeably. He didn’t mind her calling him that – or anything, really. Her presence and amusing thoughts lightened his mood and when he looked back up to the sky, still dancing with color, he found that he could smile at it properly.
—-------
La had wanted to stay and watch the sunrise with Snow but not only did she feel responsible to help their kind hosts, she worried sometimes that her presence reminded him that Crow wasn’t there. Maybe she was reading into things too much. Maybe she was entirely wrong. But when she paused in her preparations to look out the window and see that the sun was beginning its journey across the sky, she knew it was too late to go back and change it now. All she could do was hope that it was everything he’d wanted.
Leah joined her at the window. “Your friend appreciates beauty like no one I’ve ever known. All these things we take for granted…” She shook her head. “I might start looking at them in a new light now, too. Just because it’s ordinary doesn’t mean it isn’t spectacular.”
“He’s always seen the world a little differently,” La agreed. “Or, at least what world he’s seen and I can’t say that’s very much.”
“Ma, you’re letting the toast burn!” Both women turned around at the sound of Anneli’s loud complaint sounding through the kitchen, breaking the quiet magic between them.
Leah ran to the stove. “Oh, bother. Thank you, Anneli.”
Anneli shrugged and returned to sharpening the kitchen knives. “I just don’t want to eat burnt toast.”
“Besides,” said Dahlia – or was it Ronja? La couldn’t keep them straight, “bread is an infernal pain in the ass to make.”
“Language!” Leah scolded, clicking her tongue at her daughter. “Bread is hardly that bad. Most of it is just waiting for the dough to rise.”
Whichever daughter it was looked very satisfied with herself. “Exactly. I hate waiting.”
Leah removed the toast from the stove and opened a cabinet, grabbing a handful of plates and shoving them into her daughter’s hand. “Then stop waiting around and go set the table.”
Suppressing a smile, La followed. “I’ll help with that.” Too many people getting in the kitchen now anyway and setting a table would be easier than trying to figure out what to cook and how much for so many people and where everything was and so on and so forth. La wanted to help but getting in the way wasn’t exactly helpful.
Breakfast was much as dinner had been the night before; quiet and quick, though Flicka would speak up now and then to ask Snow some random question. Usually about why he was so skinny and stretchy and ‘what happened to your hair, are you balding like Pa?”
La choked on her food at that. Leah snorted into her glass of milk and Otis looked indignant while Snow tried (and failed) to explain the concept of having his hair nearly shorn off. But it was all in good fun and the breakfast was lovely, and even lovelier was the light conversation they had afterwards around the table, chatting amiably like there wasn’t a serious care in the world. There was, of course, and it hovered constantly at the back of La’s mind. But she still allowed herself to enjoy this moment and what’s more, allowed Snow to enjoy it. They’d likely have very few such moments for a long time after.
Though Snow and Otis had offered to do all the clean up, something the rest of the family was happy to accept, La stepped in to help. After all, Snow hadn’t ever cleaned a kitchen in his life and she could see the lost expression on his face as he stood in the middle of the room with a handful of dirty dishes, trying to figure out what to do with them.. She laughed out loud watching him try to figure out how to work the sink and wash them and, after a few gentle attempts at coaching, gave up and did the washing herself while Snow dried it all and Otis put it away. It was quick work with the three of them and the talk was idle and pleasant, and La was able to forget all the chaos for a short time. It reminded her of the rare but wonderful times that she and her friends could sit together without worrying about being interrupted or bothered and just talk and laugh and make general fools out of themselves all they wished. That was the sort of feeling she held on to for as long as she could. Unfortunately, just like those times from before, this one was far more short-lived than she would have liked.
“What are you doing?” Snow spoke and she turned her head to follow where he was looking and when she saw Otis packing up two sacks of food, her heart sank a little. Of course, she knew they couldn’t stay. It wasn’t safe for them or for the kind family who had given them shelter but still, there was something here that her heart had always longed for and she hated to leave it. A feeling of home. Kindness. Laughter. Gone all too soon. And, like every other bad thing in their world, it was caused by him. The Master. He was the one that sent Crow away and, while she was glad to finally be free, she felt anger for him sending Crow to what was really just a lengthy execution, as well as for the slavery of that Wyvern whose rage about being held in chains had cost the lives of so many innocents. As awful as it had been, she couldn’t even find it in herself to blame the beast.
With great difficulty, she shoved away the hatred that was bubbling up within her and focused on what was being said. She’d missed entirely whatever Otis had said but it didn’t matter; she’d already known what he was going to say when Snow asked the question in the first place.
“I’ll come back and see you sometime.” Though Snow spoke cheerfully, La could hear a twinge of sadness in his voice. “We’ll go get my brother and bring him back so you can meet him. I think he’d like your food.”
Otis laughed loudly. “I’m sure he would, a-yep. T’aint easy to find much better or fresher food ‘round here, if I do say so meself.” And with that, he handed them both a generous sack of food. La accepted hers with a grateful nod but before she had a chance to say thank you, she heard Leah’s voice behind them and turned.
Leaning against the counter, the woman was giving them both a soft smile. “Please understand, we aren’t trying to force you out quickly. I just know you’re pressed for time and the sooner you find the stream, the better. I wish I could help you find it but I’ve never been able to find the exact place again, no matter how vividly I remember it, and I think it’s because I no longer need it. I wish you the best of luck and I also wish that I could offer you more than a fairytale as guidance.”
Maybe it was a fairytale. La wouldn’t have been surprised, really, but they had no other leads and if nothing else they could drink and rest by the stream. And maybe it was real and they’d find themselves with a little fairy help. It all seemed quite fantastic but then again, she had seen stranger things than that at her time in the circus.
“Thank you,” she said as the rest of the daughters began to appear behind Leah, though none of them spoke. ‘Really. And like Snow said, if there’s ever a time we aren’t being hunted, I hope very much that we can come back again and see you.”
“Don’t go, funny beanpole man!” With a wail, Flicka rushed forward, doll still clutched in small fingers, and flung her arms around Snow’s legs. “Don’t go. You’re strange and I want you to stay and tell me stories.”
Handing his sack of food to La, Snow knelt down and gently detangled Flicka from around his legs, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I have to go or I won’t have any stories to tell you. I have to go find the stories and bring them back to you, you see?.”
She sniffed and, after a moment of clear deliberation, thrust her doll into his arms. “Then take her with you for company.”
La felt like her heart was going to break in two as he took it and examined the well worn doll that he now held. The poor thing looked like it was barely being held together by a seam but clearly the girl loved the doll and Snow must have made a significant impression on her if she was willing to give it up to a funny man she just met. Snow turned the doll over in his hands a few times and then held it back out towards Flicka, handling it so carefully that you might think it was made of gold.
“Thank you for the doll,” he said solemnly. “But I think you might need to take care of her for me while I’m gone and someday I’ll return to get her again. Can you take care of her for me?”
Flicka nodded. “I’ll take the best care of her,” she promised, and then threw her arms around Snow again. “The best. I promise.”
‘I knew I could trust you!” La wasn’t sure how he managed to smile after all that when she wanted to cry herself, but he did and he remained smiling as he let her go and stood up again. Of course. He was a performer. An actor. For all his naivety in the world, La had to remember that this was the sort of thing he knew how to do best. The rest of the family, on the other hand, looked about as heartbroken at the scene as she felt.
No more words were exchanged as she hugged the family, all the way down to Flicka and then back up to Otis. The farmer hadn’t been lying when he said his daughters were as good as fighting sons – as pretty as they were and as gentle as they looked, they squeezed her plenty hard when they hugged and it was a wonder she had any ribs left by the time she got to the end.
Beauty, she thought to herself. Why is it so often linked with weakness? Why can’t someone be beautiful and gentle and strong?
But of course it was possible, she realized immediately. She just hadn’t known very many people to be gentle at all in her life, or at least not anyone that she remembered very clearly anymore.
The family followed them out to the front porch and stood there, all huddled up in a group and watching the two as they left. Together, Snow and La turned back and waved, getting one final look at the place that had so briefly felt like home, and then turned again to leave. A brief stop was made for Snow to say goodbye to Bessie – the chicken who had barely avoided La eating it for dinner – and then they were on their way. Every few minutes one of them would stop and look back at the disappearing farm until at last it was out of sight for good and they had nothing more to do but follow Leah’s directions to the stream and hope for the best.
Still, despite staying positive for Snow and genuinely trying to hope for the best, La feared the worst.
What if there was no magically convenient fairy to help them?
What then?