Chapter 74 - Will and a Vessel
"Don't worry, child, for I am here," came a voice that sent shivers down Vern's spine and the whole world stilled.
A disturbing pressure settled down all around him, and the descent of that ungodly needle halted, its tip already having pierced through the man's heart.
Breathing became a chore, and it felt like he was locked in a room made of his own shape. Any and all movement became nothing but a luxury. Heck, his body didn't even fall down under gravity. It was as if everything was frozen in time in its own twisted way.
And he wasn't the only one. From his limited view, everyone was immobilized—even Esther's mother. Yet, strings soon reeled out of her mechanical gauntlets, their ends wrapping around her limbs.
And like a puppet moving alone on a stage full of props, her figure became a blur, falling straight down. When close to the ground, she decelerated with the help of another few strings, her movements mechanical and stiff. Once stable, she beelined towards Vern—or actually Esther.
In the periphery of Vern's Vision, however, burned a white glow so bright it heated his iris just looking at it. This had to be the source of this anomaly.
A figure of a woman, enveloped by a dazzling glow, made its way toward the skewered man on that platform made of air.
Vern didn't understand how the situation could have reversed so thoroughly in just a few seconds.
What is happening? Who is this? Her words painted the picture of a mother talking to her child. Was that how the higher-ups addressed their underlings in this Eternal Directorate? Just a convention of hierarchy?
Or was it…
That can't be.
There was no way a real goddess would show up for such a meager matter. Did she come running every time one of her so-called children was in trouble? It just didn't make sense. There was no way to make it make sense.
No. This is happening. I need to figure it out!
It was possible that Esther was too precious, and their organization wasn't keen on giving her up. But if they already had a goddess at hand, what were they finding vessels for? Maybe this one was a vessel, too.
But wasn't this too strong? He kept reasoning through this logic, but nothing he came up with proved useful. His lack of understanding of how this Elden descent business worked only made it worse.
"Rise, child," came a soothing voice from inside that brilliant glow, and as if listening to that heartfelt plea, the colossal needle turned ethereal and continued its descent, harmlessly passing through the man's heart. It soon impaled itself into the ground and stayed there, motionless.
This…
Vern sensed something wrong with this situation, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Something about that voice felt off. The next scene, however, didn't surprise him.
The goddess' vessel knelt by the priest and lifted his head, making him drink something. And just like those uncanny bastards that Vern fought a while ago, the hole in that priest's chest began closing itself.
...how? It was stupid and broke all the conventions of medicine. Surely, there were some limitations or drawbacks to this method. There's no way something so potent could exist without repercussions. It would be against the natural balance.
But that was the least of his problems. The situation was about to turn dire.
It was one thing after another. They had just cleared an impossible hurdle, barely managing to summon someone who could handle that priest. Now, an even stronger player had entered the stage—one that might very well be a piece of god.
What the hell were they supposed to do? Call a god of their own as backup? Yeah, life didn't work like that.
Not wanting to be at the mercy of this 'goddess,' he made an attempt to Observe the balance of Stability.
But he was no Puppeteer of Crimson court as the man had dubbed Esther’s mother. He couldn’t overcome the insane amount of resistance that his surroundings presented his perception.
Everything was rigid to an unimaginable degree. He had hoped things would be different, but they weren't. Every particle in his vicinity was actively being observed and manipulated by that goddess's vessel. There was no way Vern could become the primary Observer under such circumstances.
This was disheartening. He had made some questionable choices to get where he was, though he still didn't have a consistent logic that would have made him choose otherwise.
Here's hoping Esther's mother can do something about it. Because if not, his only hope was to enter the Third Rune again. That was it. That was all the cards he had left to play.
Even that wasn't a surefire method of survival. Last he left, that land of dark sun was disintegrated into nothingness. What if that eye in the sky was still there? It would end him in no time. He would be leaving this plane only to get killed in another.
And going inside another time so soon might very well be the catalyst that forced Hensen to put an end to what he started.
Contacting Yharl Ballin was not an option either, not that there was any guarantee they would have helped him anyway. His Insight Sphere was empty, and Vern didn't know of other ways to reach them. The gift Vern had received from them was supposed to help him escape Elden descent, not cheat death.
Hmm, maybe there is another possibility. That this 'Mother' was a kind goddess and that she wouldn't bother killing mortals for the sake of it. That she would be content with rescuing her 'child.'
But he knew the chances of that. They were slim.
Nothing boded well.
So, it was time to…let go.
When he had no way of influencing the outcome of an event, he had a simple way to go about it. He let go. It was leagues better than delusionally hoping his thoughts alone would change the world.
It would be great if Esther's mother had a plan and even simpler if the goddess chose to act like one. But if she didn't, and death was inevitable, he would Escape to Third Rune. And if, even there, he was served death, he would accept it.
That was all there was to it.
Such was the simplicity of his life. Would he be discontent and crestfallen? Yes. Would it matter? No.
It was just like he had told Ari on the eve of Duskfall. She asked if this was the end. If this was really it for them and the world. He had the same thoughts on the matter right now as he did back then—
If I die in such circumstances, there's really not much I can do.
.
.
.
With all the contingencies and possibilities predicted ahead of time, he settled down and relaxed his anxious mind. Doing so, he even realized that his brain wasn't asphyxiated, something that was the norm for humans who hadn't breathed for a couple dozen seconds.
Wonder how this works.
But he instead chuckled internally at the absurdity of his thought. Emptying his mind of all unnecessary thoughts, he watched the events play out with the detachment of an observer. There was a twisted sense of amusement in simply watching the chaos ensue.
So when the pink-haired puppeteer came rushing towards him with those stiff movements and extricated her daughter out of his grip, he didn't feel hurt. When she powered that Fen entity and cocooned herself and Esther inside it, he didn't feel betrayed.
It was par for the course. Everyone had limited capabilities, and one really had to ask oneself how much they could accomplish given those limitations. Especially when they were up against a literal god.
Vern couldn't expect her to save everyone, only to end up sacrificing herself and maybe even her own daughter. That would be stupid. And the puppeteer didn't seem the kind. She did exactly what he would've done had he the choice.
Soon, the priest gained back his voice and yelled, "Oh, MOTHER! I beg thee. I beseech thee, Eradicate these heathens and take back what's rightfully yours. This one has failed you and dare not make demands, but even in death, I hope to see your name flourish! To let your fame be the guiding light."
Unable to elicit any reaction from the figure within the light, the sore loser began another tirade, "These infidels have not only slain your children but also obstructed our sacred quest to find another vessel for your divine essence. They defy your will, disrupt your plans. Unleash your fury upon them, great MOTHER! Let your righteous anger purge this place of their sacrilege and restore the sanctity of your abode!" The man continued to pour venom, yet Vern felt nothing.
And as expected of life, there were no happy endings. Even a 'Mother' wasn't impervious to inciteful bullshit, it seemed. The outline of the figure within the white brilliance stood up and declared, "Indeed. Children that don't listen must be…punished."
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And the very fabric of existence shifted.
The world, which had been frozen in a near-perfect state for the last minute, underwent a drastic transformation. All brightness vanished as if snuffed out by an unseen hand.
Darkness engulfed everything, and reality faded from his sight. Even the brilliance that surrounded the goddess was nothing but a lost cause. All that was left in this void were those eyes.
Those apathetic black eyes.
It was his first time seeing black pupils shine, and it was…disturbing. They stared at all of them like one would stare at ants. A comparison that probably wasn't too far from the truth.
Ready to flip the switch in his head at a moment's notice, Vern continued to watch another show of humanity's insignificance against the uncaring cosmos.
Soon, a dot of light emerged before those indifferent eyes, gradually expanding. Growing steadily, it cast a glow that pierced the void-like darkness. Vern watched as this orb of light, a beacon in the blackness, formed around the goddess's finger.
It was coming. He could feel it. Everything he had done was about to be proved futile.
So when she uttered, "Now sl...eep, children," her voice strained and erratic, he took the abnormality in stride and sighed to himself. It's over.
Directing his thoughts to that rune wrapped by silver glyphs in his mind, he felt the brightness that had started to eke out a corner in this world fade again. This time, however, it was his consciousness giving way.
.
.
.
He braced for the inevitable, to be whisked away into oblivion. Yet, in this odd moment, they changed.
Those uncaring eyes lost their rigid shape, and the ball of light expanded, casting a soft glow that faintly illuminated her face. That single sight sent a shudder down his spine, and he screamed without voice.
NOO!
He forcefully snapped the tether that linked him to that foreign world, and his consciousness anchored back in this illogical reality with a slicing pain.
It doesn't make sense!
It did.
This can't be!
But it was happening.
Why!!?
He inferred
This is a fucking joke!
It had to be.
His rational mind made the links in no time, but it was nothing short of a cruel prank by this disgusting cosmos.
It was her.
His sister.
Ariane.
Ari.
He had been thinking about her since the second he woke up in the library one way or the other and even had a few leads on how to go about finding her. Leads that helped him extrapolate and understand the twisted reality of this sight his eyes showed him.
She was the goddess—no, the vessel of some fucking outsider sent to clean up this mess.
How did this happen in two days?
Did that matter, though?
It didn't. It had happened, and now he was on the other side, watching her struggle, unable to even move.
The pain from that failed contact with the rune was nothing compared to what came from looking at her expression.
Ari had her other hand pushing down on the outstretched one with all her might, a terrified grimace contorting his baby sister's face. Those eyes, which he had assumed to belong to some uncaring entity a moment ago, shimmered, gushing with tears as they stared right at him.
She had surely noticed him.
He had hoped he would meet her in better circumstances than this. At least then he would be able to explain his 'death.' That was the only assumption she could have made.
Mom and Dad's death had crushed her. He didn't want to imagine what his own had done to her.
It wasn't right!
The raw power coursing through her was like a tempest she could barely contain, her outstretched finger trembling intensely. She was clearly fighting an internal battle against that thing from beyond.
This should never have happened. Maybe. Maybe. If he had handled the situation in the library better. He should have burned that fucking Observation Record or something.
They chose her because of that book, right? He had hoped it would help her find a footing in this new world. But reality had a twisted sense of bringing wishes to life.
If he had woken up from his unconsciousness sooner. Just one day. No, even a few hours would've been enough. They could have left this city, for fuck's sake.
How did they even manage to find her? Why did they find her!?
Yet, the time didn't pause for his fruitless justifications. The air around her crackled with energy, a tangible manifestation of the chaos within that distorted ball of light.
She was trying.
At this moment, however, that despicable fucker shouted, "You pathetic mortal dare to obstruct Mother's divine verdict? Who do you think you are to challenge her will? Father Oras has indulged you far too much, you insignificant little bitch!"
"Oh, revered Mother, to you, I offer my profound insights, unwavering faith, and my very essence. Dominate the will of this ignorant imposter, I beseech thee, and assertively demonstrate to her the reality of her insignificance."
The scourge knelt where he stood, and a radiant aura flared out of his body, almost as if he was on fire. The aura soon turned into thin strands that burrowed into Ari's skin, and soon, her hand that was holding back the other one, turned limp.
AAAAAAGHH
The cadence of his Thought Space became a turbulent mess, a seething fury burning inside Vern as he glared at the insufferable vermin. This bastard had done it. Vern's conscience had a scale, and this scum had tipped it.
I
WILL
KILL
YOU!
He had always been one to stay in control, but this… This disgusting fuck was actively wiping away the consciousness of his sister.
HIS SISTER!
ARI
GODDAMN IT!
Her eyes, which had been wide with fear, now flattened, mirroring the sudden stability in the sphere of light that enveloped them.
Her trembling hand stilled, and her breaths evened out. The chaotic energy that had been crackling around her dissipated, replaced by a steady, pulsing glow, and the rate at which the orb grew accelerated.
I WILL END YOU!
I WILL KILL YOU!
I WILL END YOU!
I WILL KILL YOU!
A fiery fury claimed him, and he turned to his perception, seeing red rather than black as he forced shades of white into it.
When it didn't work, he pushed harder.
When the air proved impossible to shade, he moved on to that platform. It didn't work, so he forced his Thoughts upon some of the objects that floated in the air—grasping, hoping he would find something to stop this madness.
Stability, Instability, Complexity, Integrity, Firmness, Resilience, Sturdiness, Reliability, Refinement. He exhausted all possibilities and attempted all combinations. Arcs of lightning struck throughout his Thought Space ceaselessly, yet he barely managed to force a white in his perception before being pushed back mercilessly.
When all else failed, he focused on the Vermin himself.
One failure.
.
Two.
.
Three.
.
.
.
Ten.
He didn't know how many times he failed before he literally saw red, and his eyesight threatened to shut down on him.
It didn't matter.
Nothing he did mattered at all.
His weakness disgusted him.
Yet, regardless of how much he burnt with rage, seethed, or thrashed around—it was all futile.
There was no god for him. He wasn't even supposed to be alive—Hensen should have ended him long ago. He was nothing but a grain of sand that slipped through the cracks.
A speck of dust that could do nothing when it mattered.
Nothing.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yet reality always managed to calm him down. ALWAYS.
He loathed to think of anything that didn't result in burning all to hell, but the world denied bending to his will. He understood the logic, the chances, and the possibilities. He knew it all. Yet there was nothing. Nothing he could do.
His mind felt like it was being sliced apart from all the various pains, but he did it. Guided his thought to that abominable Third Rune and made contact.
He would run away. Again.
Even if he died in that land of dark sun, at least he wouldn't burden Ari's conscience. She would never be able to forgive herself if she became the cause of his death.
If nothing, he could at least do that much for her.
.
.
.
Yet, before he could justify it further as something like living another day to fight, his mind buzzed, and the thoughts directed towards the rune scattered.
He tried again, and the rune buzzed harder.
He went again, and this time, the rune dimmed entirely.
It seemed like his act of forcibly cutting off his previous attempt at making contact had set off a cooldown or something. Those inverted triangles had lost all their glow.
Hahhah Hahh ha…ha, he laughed a mirthful laugh at his own expense
This was pathetic.
He was pathetic.
He couldn't speak. He couldn't move. He couldn't use any Visions. Now, he couldn't even give her some peace of mind. And unfortunately, he only had himself to blame for the fact.
If he hadn't forcefully terminated his earlier attempt at making contact, things wouldn't have come to this. If he had remained calm and predicted the final outcome, she wouldn't have had to carry his murder on her mind.
All this knowledge, the veneer of logic, but not one thing he could do to help his sister. Not one.
Not a single thing.
.
.
.
No.
No, no no. FUCK THIS!
He would, at the very least, convey what he couldn't last time. She might not remember any of it, but their last conversation was an argument.
Ever since they were young, he was the one who had to back down. No matter if it was for something as small as taking apart her toys or as serious as snitching about her sugar addiction to her mom.
Didn't matter if they lived together or hundreds of cities apart, whether they were young or adults, joking or dead serious, he had to be the one stepping back.
She was prideful like that. And he wouldn't change that for the life of him. However much of it he had left.
So when the stilled winds began to twirl and warp towards that ball of light, he strained against the pressure that constricted him in his place, pushing so hard his very thought space began to dim.
He knew it. This vision that froze everyone was more of a perceived preservation than a physical one, or Esther's mother couldn't have moved no matter what.
So he detached his mind from his body and focused on moving his lips. There was no way he could let out a sound, but lips would be enough. Hopefully.
She would notice it. In there, somewhere, she would see it. There was no way some Outsider had managed to vanquish her completely just because this trash of a human decided to sacrifice some of his insights.
If it was that easy, they would have wiped her away long ago.
He didn't believe that this stupid message of his would bring about a change or something in the situation. It was just…
…just
…
…
…
a farewell. And an apology for all the years he wasn’t there.
She had been living by herself ever since she was fifteen. His master didn’t allow any family members, and Nvoria wasn’t suited for her education.
So, just two years after Mom and Dad died, she had been surviving on her own. He would send her letters and whatever money he could scrape, but he knew.
Letters couldn’t fill in for a family. She always complained about minor things but never asked for anything that would compromise his career. When he left her all the way back then, she didn’t even shed a single tear as he got on the train, but her swollen eyes were all he remembered.
He had never been a proper big brother to her. So when he managed to keep her alive back in that library, he thought he had finally done something worthy of that title.
So, just on that one account, he deserved to ask for forgiveness, right? She might not find it in her heart to pardon him. But he would have to ask, right? The cosmos won't take that opportunity away from him as well, would it?
A hint of darkness appeared in the center of that ball of white, and Vern knew it was time. So when his efforts began to bear fruit, he carved her final image in his mind and mouthed it, his final words to her,
'I'
'am'
'sorry'
And all he managed to glimpse was the tear that rolled off her cheek before the brightness overwhelmed him, and the black spark exploded.