The ground rumbled beneath Krunkidile’s feet as he detonated a string of sticky bombs, destroying a pair of pill-shaped robots as they wandered about the Red team’s base. Pleased with his handywork, he forges deeper into enemy territory, a bird-headed heavy following close behind. Peeking around the doorway into the main foyer, he spotted another group of robots lazily meandering around the central column. Sitting on top of one of the banks of computers was a pyro, who was entertaining itself by making balloon animals and then lighting them on fire. How it managed to blow up the balloons through the gas mask, he would never know.
Turning to the heavy, he kept his voice to a whisper while he laid out a plan. “Okay Sigara, you charge in and distract the pyro while I take out the robots. Then we take the left stairs and blow the bots upstairs, then we jump through the lasers and grab their core. I’ll be counting on you, got it?”
With a wordless nod the heavy strode out onto the bridge, stopping in front of the pyro. He stood there for some time as he waited for the pyro to notice him, Krunk pounding his head into the door frame in the background. When the pyro finally did look up, their eyes locked, and it nearly swooned from the breath-taking beauty of the canary-faced russian.
Sigara reached out and grasped the pyro’s shoulders, pulling it closer, leaning down until their faces nearly touched. Then with a sudden yank, Sigara pulled the pyro toward him, at the same time, pushing his freakish face forward. The pyro pulled back in surprise, trying to push the bird-headed monstrosity away. Sigara merely pulled him back, once again slamming his face into the masked individual. He did this a dozen more times with increasing speed and intensity, their bodies a blur, and when they finally disengaged Sigara’s face was covered in so much gore one would believe that he had dipped his face into a raw steak.
Mouth agape, Krunk merely stared at the faceless pyro and the viscera-covered heavy that was approaching him. Swallowing to keep from losing his breakfast, he turned away from the bloody scene and turned his mind to the task at hand. He was done in no time, and grabbed the cores from the mangled remains for the robots.
Making their way deeper into the enemy base, they came across a medic and soldier, the latter which promptly began firing rockets. Krunkidile and Sigara ducked behind a reinforced glass wall, which somehow withstood the explosions. Watching the soldier approach, Sigara placed a stickybomb on the wall across from him, and ran toward it. Thinking that he was trying to make a break for the stairs, the soldier gave chase, only to be knocked over when the demoman’s sticky exploded, sending its owner sailing toward him. While the soldier reeled from the hit, Krunk swiftly drew his Eyelander and lopped off the soldier’s head.
As Krunkidile was wiping the blood-stained claymore on the headless corpse of its latest victim, he failed to notice the medic sneaking up behind him. Ubersaw drawn, she prepared to deal a killing blow, aiming to pierce the demoman’s heart. Suddenly feeling a shadow looming over her, she rolled to the side just as Sigara swung a mitten-covered fist at where she had been. Dodging a flurry of punches that seemed too quick for a man of his size, Uberchain ducked under the heavy’s barrage and deftly maneuvered behind him, slashing at his leg as he did so. Sigara, now hobbled, turned too slowly toward the medic, only to find the end of her ubersaw embedded in his shoulder. Screeching in pain, he made a grab for her, but she was too fast for him, easily keeping herself behind him and out of his line of sight. She pulled her ubersaw free of the heavy’s shoulder and made two more quick jabs into his back, making bloodless wounds as his fluids were siphoned into the saw’s reservoir.
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
Pulling back for a final blow, Uberchain suddenly saw a figure move in the reflection of the ubersaw’s glass vial, and quickly jumped aside as a long blade whizzed through the air. Due to the momentum of the swing and the length of the blade, Krunkidile could only watch in horror as he accidentally decapitated his brother in arms. He stared at the stump where the heavy’s head had been as the body slowly slumped over, and didn’t notice the medic leaping at him.
Seeing the movement out of the corner of his eye, he raised his arm at the last second, the blade going through the limb and lodging itself between the bones of his forearm. Swinging his sword out of reflex, he made the medic jump back out of reach and leave her weapon in his arm. She took a small crossbow from her belt and leveled it at Krunkidile, who ducked the first shot and sprinted to the stairs.
Body running on pure adrenaline, he quickly made it up the stairs onto the balcony, where a large robot with a crown wandered about. Someone had graffitied the robot in white paint, writing “Chaofanatic” in big letters, the “C” being the original decal of the robot. Unconcerned with the meaning, he hid inside the glass enclosure that the robot was stationed in front of, and took the quick moment of reprieve to extract the ubersaw from his arm.
As Uberchain reached the top of the stairs, she spotted the demoman kneeling near the robot. She fired a bolt at the glass, the sharp needle somehow penetrating the glass, but the body of the bolt getting caught in the wire mesh. Krunkidile jumped back in surprise and threw the ubersaw at her, but she deftly caught it by the handle and gave it a quick inspection.
Taking out the nozzle of her medigun, she removed the vial from the ubersaw and attached it to a hidden port underneath the nozzle. The fluid drained from it quickly, filling the gauge to max. With a quick flick of a switch she activated her ubercharge, and her body glowed with a bright blue sheen as her body became invulnerable. She calmly strode toward the cowering demoman, who swung his sword at her in a panic, only to watch as the blade shattered against her body. He quickly scrambled out of the glass cage, and seeing only one thing he could use as a weapon, hefted the robot over his head.
Uberchain paused at the sight, wondering what he could possibly do with the machine. It wasn’t like it would be able to hurt her anyway. But as she watched, the demo swung the robot down in her head, smashing the glass dome of the bot and causing her to step back in surprise. Taking advantage of her lapse in focus, he switched his grip to the arm attached to the bottom wheel and swung the robot like an overgrown baseball bat, knocking the medic down onto the bridge below. Jumping down after her, he kept up the attack, pushing the shimmering medic out of the base and toward the edge of the asteroid.
The glow emanating from the medic began to falter, and finally gave out, rendering Uberchain vulnerable once more. Raising the mangled wreckage of the robot above his head, Krunkidile prepared to deal a final blow. He swung down hard, but she moved aside the last second, causing him to overreach and teeter at the precipice of the asteroid. With a grin Uberchain pushed on his back and shoved him off the edge, but screamed in surprise as she was pulled over with him, his fist clutching at the hanging hose of the medigun. Together the fell into space, where they were never seen again.