Of course, nothing was ever that simple.

“Looks like we’ll be extending our stay for a few more hours,” Jason said as their guide strode away.

“I told you that… fish thing was bad news,” Nora noted, a hint of vindication in her tone.

Jason couldn’t exactly argue.

Apparently that Gator-Shark was not supposed to be where it was. In fact, the boatwoman who was even now walking away from them, had turned an alarming shade of grey when Nora had offhandedly mentioned it just moments before they’d piled into the boat.

Something he wasn’t sure whether to curse out or thank his bodyguard for, given that their guide had adamantly refused to guide them back to the surface until the thing was gone. Fortunately, that would likely only take a few hours, given that beasts were of a nomadic nature.

“I still say we go anyway,” Yaro opined – for the second time. “If the primitive lacks the ovarian fortitude to navigate water occupied by but a single beast, we can do it ourselves.”

Nora aimed a gimlet eye in her companion’s direction. “Yes, and I’m sure that your opinion on the matter is borne entirely of a desire to return to our Empress-given duty, rather than, say, hopes of getting to hunt the animal in question?”

Yaro shrugged, utterly unperturbed by the accusation. “I would not be averse to the opportunity to do both.”

Jason was about to intervene when another voice intruded on their conversation.

“I, uh, wouldn’t be so eager to do that if I were you…” Maybel said, as she stepped over to them. “When you kill off a Hrork, they give off a death stink that attracts others.”

“See?” Nora snorted, turning back to Yaro. “If we go with your plan, we’ll end up tangling with an entire swarm of the suckers when they come to rescue whichever friend of their’s you’re in the process of filleting with those pig-stickers you call claws.”

Rather than be offended by the appellation being leveled at her claws, the Rakiri woman actually stood up a little straighter, as if taking it as a compliment.

“I would not be averse to that series of events,” she said.

“But I would,” Jason grunted. “And I’ve got the final say here. We’ll give it a few hours before attempting to make our way back. With or without a guide.”

Their mission parameters allowed for that much. Technically they were already ahead of schedule, given that they’d been expecting the negotiations to drag on much longer. They had an entire day before they were expected back.

Of course, while that gave them a little leeway, Jason had no intention of abusing it.

Because if we’re not back by the time our deadline comes up, Avilla made no secret of the fact that she’ll be sending a platoon in after us, he thought.

An ultimatum the regiment’s youngest company commander had no doubt made out of fear of being the one responsible for losing the regiment’s champion, as much as a need to look out for her fellow Marine.

Still, a twenty four hour window was more than ample enough for them to kill some time checking out the settlement.

“An excellent idea,” Maybel positively beamed, before she quickly turned toward Nora. “Though as a point of clarity, in the event your furry compatriot did kill a Hrork, the ensuing swarm that arrives wouldn’t so much be present to avenge the dead animal as feed on its corpse - in addition to whatever killed it.”

“Lovely,” Nora snorted. “Cannibal piranha sharks. That’s much better.”

Jason couldn’t help but echo her statement internally, even as Maybel looked cluelessly onward, likely having no idea what Nora was comparing the Hrork to.

Perhaps it was a little silly that their path back to the surface might be impeded more by native wildlife than active enemy action, but that was simply the reality of the situation. As many an Imperial Marine back on Earth had discovered, while their suits could quite happily shrug off entire magazines of light machine gun fire, they were significantly less protected against some nutjob with a knife – or even a bow and arrow.

The hardening mechanisms of the suits were simply unable to detect - and thus protect against - a relatively slow-moving stabbing implement. Of which he was sure a mouthful of razor-sharp teeth surely counted.

So no, Jason wasn’t exactly eager to put himself in a situation where that was a possibility. Not when a little patience might allow him to forgo it entirely. Sure, he’d risk it if he had to, but until then, he was content to wait.

“I suppose we’ve got a few hours to kill then.” he said.

------------

It struck him as a bit of study in contrasts that the food stall they’d come to had a fire attached. Not that he hadn’t expected the settlement to have fires. Of course they had fires. People lived here.

But, y’know, wood, he thought as he glanced around the street they found themselves on.

The stall itself was nothing fancy. To be totally honest, it wouldn’t have looked too out of place back on Earth. A brightly lit and colorful affair, with a painted-on fish and what he could only assume were menu options, and prices scrawled on a chalkboard nearby. The only real salient difference was that where most of the metal therein would be steel or aluminum on Earth, here it was copper.

Which was actually rather funny to him, given that copper cookware could be ludicrously expensive back on Earth.

“It’s a little rustic, isn’t it?” Nora pointed out as they took their seats.

Jason shrugged. “Maybel’s our guide. She picked here, so here’s where we’re eating.”

Which was just fine by him. He’d have had little patience for this excursion if they’d been dragged off to some massive feast, or something equally as ridiculous. By contrast, a little food stall close to the ‘docks’ suited him right down to the ground.

Though he did have to question Maybel’s level of political acumen, given that she hadn’t seen an issue in bringing them here. Short visit or not, they were still guests of some importance. Not the kind of people you took to a dumpy little food shack.

Hell, he wouldn’t do that for a first date, let alone when hosting foreign dignitaries.

They’d all taken their helmets off on the way over, given that it seemed the only polite thing to do. Sure, it was a little bit of a risk, given that they were now vulnerable to an unexpected headshot, but Jason figured that if someone nearby really wanted to kill him and his team, they need not bother with a careful show of marksmanship.

No, they’d need only bumrush us with those knives they’re carrying, he thought as he glanced back at the small crowd that had gathered around them.

He hadn’t noticed on the way in, hemmed in by bodyguards as he had been, but just about the entire Ufrian population was armed. Including those few men he’d seen. It was nothing too ostentatious, just a small knife visibly displayed at the hip, but it was a little worrying to see.

“Yaro, you’re drooling,” he noted dryly.

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

“Apologies.” Yaro said from her position in a seat that wasn’t quite designed with Rakiri dimensions in mind, before she sheepishly ran the back of her hand across her mouth. “The scent of the local fare is somewhat… tantalizing.”

Even as she spoke, her eyes remained locked on the nearby food stall where Maybel and the proprietor were talking.

Not for long though, as Jason watched, the chiefess’s daughter started walking back, arms laden with food and drinks.

“Here it is,” she said triumphantly as she deposited her copper tray on the table. “The best food and drink you’ll find in River Town.”

River Town? Jason thought, realizing that this was actually the first time he’d heard the settlement’s name since he’d arrived. Or at least, the literal translation.

All in all, it didn’t seem terribly creative to him. Then again, it wasn’t like Earth was a great deal better on that front. As he recalled, Oxfordshire literally just meant ‘ford used by oxen here’.

Of course, then he actually looked at what had been placed in front of him.

“Looks… nice?” Nora said cautiosly.

A sentiment that echoed Jason’s thoughts exactly. Though one would be hard pressed to know that from the way Maybel’s face lit up.

“I knew you’d like it,” she beamed, sticking a wooden fork into the… thing’s blackened flesh. “Mum will probably complain I didn’t take you to some fancy-pants banquet now that you’re staying for a bit, but if you want real Ulfrian cuisine, you can’t do better than Mell’s.”

Jason had no idea if Mell was the name of the creature or the establishment they were dining at. He supposed it made little difference in the end. He’d still be eating the thing in front of him.

And what a thing it was. The eyes were the first thing he’d noticed. It was hard not to. There were so many of them. Though that didn’t mean that other features of what he might have tentatively called a fish weren’t worth commenting on. The coloring, for one thing, was rather striking. Whereas before, he might have struggled to define ‘vomit green’ as a color, he now knew for certain what that color was. The spines running along the back were nice too, certainly, but ultimately they were rather overshadowed by the claws.

Or perhaps they’re legs? He thought as he tentatively poked at one with his fork. Perhaps I was wrong to label it a fish?

Were fish allowed to have legs?

He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know.

“It looks delicious Maybel,” he heard Yaro say eagerly, causing the Ufrian woman to puff up all the more.

Jason glanced up at Nora and saw the same resignation in her eyes as she stared back at him, her own ‘not quite a fish’ steaming in front of her. Suddenly though, her eyes lit up and she reached into her belt.

“The F-Tester!” The woman was trying not to sound too excited and failing spectacularly. “We need to test the food for, uh, toxins!”

Hope soared in Jason’s own chest as he watched the Scandinavian woman pull out a small round tube.

Nora, I could kiss you, he thought.

“That’s right,” he said, playing along.

“F-Tester?” Maybel asked slowly, glancing back and forth between him and Nora oddly.

“It’s a device to ensure that food is safe for us to eat.” He nodded, ignoring the way Yaro was pouting at her meal being interrupted – possibly indefinitely - as Nora scooped a chunk of greenish fish flesh into the tube. “It’s a device we use to check for toxins and the like.”

At that, Maybel’s expression turned a little stoney. “You think I would poison you?”

Perhaps not intentionally, he thought, glancing quickly down at his fluorescent green meal.

“Just standard procedure,” he assured her. “Alien worlds and all that.”

All the while he, Nora and Yaro stared at the tip of the small tube in the Scandinavian woman’s hands. Two of them for one reason, and the other for a wildly different one.

Come on, come on, he thought, crossing his fingers beneath the table. Light up-

It lit green.

“Oh, green is good, right?” Meybell said happily. “That’s the case with other offworld stuff. Well, obviously not Roach stuff. Their’s just vibrates differently. Long pulses for good. Short for bad.”

Jason mentally tuned out the woman’s nattering as he felt his spirits fall down into the deepest depths of despair.

“Well, uh, I guess we better tuck in,” Nora said slowly, likely feeling the same way. “You first champ.”

To his side, Yaro stiffened a bit at the delay, but that disappointment quickly turned into mischievous amusement as she turned to him. “Yes Champion, as our superior, I give you the honor of first bite.”

“How kind,” Jason drolled back, inwardly threatening bloody vengeance on the overgrown furball and the traitor.

Lacing the pod’s toilet paper with chili-extract ought to be fair recompense, he thought.

Unfortunately, sweet vengeance would have to wait until after he’d triumphed over the obstacle in front of him. Biting down on his trepidation, he stuck his fork into the flesh of the animal before him and brought a chunk up to his mouth.

At the very least, it doesn’t smell all that bad, he thought as he delicately took a whiff of the things wafting aroma.

Eventually, unable to put it off any longer, he plopped the contents of his fork into his mouth.

Silence reigned at the table. For a number of different reasons.

“It’s good,” he said finally, drawing a triumphant look from Yaro and Maybel – and one of disbelief from Nora.

He ignored her, instead bringing his fork back down.

Sure, the fish wasn’t the best thing he’d ever eaten, but it was hardly among the worst. And it certainly beat the MREs he’d been subsisting on for the last month.

Finally allowing himself to relax a bit, he set about enjoying his meal, even as Nora finally took her own tentative first bite of her food and Yaro tucked in with gusto.

-----------

Jason wasn’t quite drunk, But he wasn't entirely sober either. If he were forced to describe his current level of inebriation, he’d say he was pre-tipsy. Which wasn’t awful to his mind, but he knew it was a fair way away from where he was supposed to be, which was stone cold sober.

In his defense though, his current level of inebriation wasn’t entirely his fault.

A few of Maybels young warrior friends had shown up. Mostly to clear out the crowds that had gathered in response to the ‘outworlders’. But after that was complete, they’d also insisted that Jason partake in some kind of Ulfrian tradition of friendship.

Or at least, that was what they had claimed it was. Jason wasn’t entirely sure the rowdy band of women hadn’t been bullshitting him.

Either way, he’d had little choice but to partake.

Or at least, that had been the justification he’d used in his mind while chugging ale from betwixt the cleavage of one of the local girls while her friends looked on and cheered.

Seriously.

The last thing he’d wanted to do was sour relations between the Imperium and the local tribe by refusing to partake in the local culture.

Yaro had been amused.

Nora less so. Quite understandably.

“Dear god, it’s like I’ve stepped onto the set of a post apocalyptic version of the little mermaid,” Jason said as the quartet stumbled into Maybel’s home.

Which had surprised him, by being pretty far from the pseudo-palace where they’d met the woman’s mother. Though that surprise paled in comparison to what he’d discovered inside.

“Well, it seems we’ve discovered where half the goods that have been pilfered from our regiment ended up.”

“Not all of it’s… from you…” Maybel had the decency to flush as her trio of guests surveyed the massive variety of outworld gadgets that were scattered throughout her small apartment style home.

“Apparently not,” Jason murmured as he examined a pen emblazoned with ‘Raknos Mining Corp’ emblazoned across the side.

Though his eyes didn’t linger long on the object, instead they were drawn to a number of items in various states of disassembly strewn across the table. More than that, piles of parchment style sheets were scattered about covered in copious notes. He couldn’t read them, but even with the language barrier in place, it didn't take an engineer to recognize someone attempting to create blueprints.

Crudely, he noted as he looked at a number of sketches that had clearly been drawn with more enthusiasm than genuine skill.

Still, the little display actually went a long way to endearing the young Ufrian in his eyes. Before he’d considered her little more than a precocious native. One more prone to thinking with her pussy and her hands, rather than her brain. While she’d seemed reasonably interested in the regiment and the Imperium those few times he’d interacted with her, he’d assumed at the time that said interest was borne of a desire for profit and… well… sex.

Now it seemed that said interest was genuine, and the young woman was making a legitimate attempt to understand the frankly miraculous devices that the outworlders had brought to her planet.

“We should confiscate this,” Nora said flatly.

Of course, as much as her actions had gone a long way toward raising Maybel’s position in his esteem, it seemed the opposite was true for Nora.

“No!” The blue skinned woman cried, actually diving towards the nearest available item – a hair dryer, amusingly enough – throwing her body over it protectively.

What she expected to achieve by doing so, Jason had little idea, but then again he was only a little inebriated, whereas Maybel was four sheets to the wind. The unfortunate consequence of her attempting to get him drunk without realizing that Humans had a tolerance for alcohol far in excess of an Ufrians.

Or a Rakiri, he thought as he watched a dopily smiling Yaro bodily drop onto a nearby sofa, which groaned under her relatively massive bulk. I should probably get her to take a ‘purge’ pill before we head back.

She wouldn’t thank him for it, but he felt that having her suffer the aftereffects of her body rapidly purging the alcohol in her system was superior to them showing back up to the regiment with it still inside her.

The only reason they’d partaken in the first place was to avoid offending their hosts. Or at least, that was the explanation he’d used to justify drinking while on duty and he was going to stick with it.

He glanced at his watch. They still had something like eighteen hours before they were overdue. Perhaps he’d just let her sleep it off?

“I want to have sex.”

The sudden words froze all action in the room. Nora and Maybel stopped their tug of war match over the hair dryer, to stare in Yaro’s direction. Jason was little better, totally thrown off by the sudden statement by the usually composed woman.

Nor could he help the bead of cold sweat that ran down his neck as the massive apex predator stood up from her sofa to stare in his direction.

“...Now.”