Davis Archer was stirring a noodle mixture on the stove when he was startled by a soft ding set off to his right. His new watch then vibrated and another sound emitted from his laptop on the counter.
It was not that the 26-year-old was worried about missing any notifications. Rather, his new phone was light years ahead of the flip phone he'd recently replaced and he hadn't worn a watch for ages. There was also the fact that he didn't receive many messages. He was unaware of the cavalcade of notifications a simple text message would bring with it.
He also had no idea how his text messages synced to his computer. That was an issue for another time as he was equally unaware how to undo it.
Davis finished stirring with his right hand and set the spoon down on the stove. He then turned his attention to his text message. He first checked his watch and saw that it was from Lucy and then eagerly grabbed for his phone.
"What are you up to? I just got home from work."
He read the message a second time on his phone and a rush of excitement washed over him. Lucy had been one of only a few women to get him to this point of a relationship over the last five years. They'd met online and had been texting for three weeks. He liked to move slow with women, and she was often busy with work, so it wasn't a major issue. They had started talking on the phone about a week and a half ago.
"Making dinner. Ziti."
"That sounds so good. I should make that tonight."
"This recipe is pretty easy. I can send it to you."
After hitting send, Davis rummaged through the bookmarks on his phone for the recipe. He wanted to share it with Lucy and swiped away a couple of responses as he closed in on the link. Once found, he turned his attention back to the conversation.
He saw the unread messages:
"Actually, I'd rather just eat what you made 😉"
"I know you want to go slow, but I really want ziti and am too tired to make it myself."
"Seems like a good enough reason to meet in person 😜"
The wind left Davis' body as he did not expect this. He'd been very deliberate with the relationship process. He was not ready for an in-person meeting.
Every moment he did not respond felt like an eternity. His palms became sweaty, and he was getting a knot in his stomach that was threatening nausea.
"Or not...? 🥺"
He indelicately tossed his phone onto the counter. It clattered on the hard surface and slid a couple of inches before coming to a stop.
Davis looked average in most ways. He carried with a bit more muscle than fat on his 5-foot-9 frame. He was clean-shaven with dark brown hair parted to the right and often wore thicker black glasses. Looking ordinary was not his intention, but he appreciated the ability to blend into a crowd.
His most defining feature was a heavily tattooed left arm and he often wore long sleeves. A short-sleeved black vintage hockey t-shirt did little to cover the artwork on this night.
He was a smoker and rarely drank. He was a runner, but not health conscious. He did plan to quit smoking if it became an issue in a relationship, but now sure as hell was not the time.
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Davis grabbed a pack of Camel Lights out of the left pocket of his coat, which hung on a kitchen chair. He lowered his head by the stove and lit his cigarette off the flame cooking his dinner. Immediately, he took a long drag and leaned back on the counter, holding his smoke. He then exhaled upwards before dropping his chin to his chest.
Now was the time, he thought. Not over text.
He'd love to invite Lucy to his apartment for dinner, but he needed to be honest first. It was only fair to her and would spare himself added heartbreak down the road.
Lucy was a 24-year-old nurse he had connected with on a dating site. Davis thought she was cute and would the word "spunky" if he were to describe her. She was 5-foot-3, with skin that seemed to stay tan all year round. Her dark brown hair had subtle blue streaks and was in variations of messy ponytails in every picture he'd seen. He loved that. She was a comfortable, yet trendy, dresser and that was a match for her outing and relaxed personality.
Lucy's personality made Davis optimistic about a successful relationship. She was often busy with work, so she did not demand much from Davis early on. She also lived far enough away that not having an in-person date wasn't weird—yet.
Davis had smoked three-quarters of his cigarette when he finally looked at his phone. He'd ignored another series of alerts.
"Was it something I said?"
He stamped out his cigarette in the ashtray near his phone and slid it away from the counter's edge. He reached for his phone and went to the phone book to find Lucy's number. There were only four phone numbers stored in the phone, so it was a quick search.
Davis touched her name to start a call and his eyes lingered on her photo. It was the first photo she'd sent him and he assigned it to her phone book entry. The picture was from a wedding the previous summer. She is smiling on a balcony in front of a beach wearing a sundress and holding a drink. He liked her inviting smile and big brown eyes. Sometimes he'd pull up the photo while they were texting as if he was talking to the woman in the image.
"Hi."
Lucy's voice had a hint of excitement as she answered and snapped him out of his daze.
"Sorry about that. I was getting the ziti into the oven," he lied. In actuality, his dinner was overcooking on the stovetop.
"I just wanted to talk rather than text," he added.
"No worries," she offered. She was audibly nervous, but she was trying to stay cool.
"I would love to see you in person and make you dinner, but I need to talk to you about some things first."
He continued quickly to dispel some immediate concerns that he figured may pop into her head.
"I'm not married or anything. I also don't have any kids," he started. "We can meet, eat and do whatever— like normal people. I assure you. I want to tell you some things about me first."
He winced a little bit over his choice of the phrase "like normal people." "Normal people," he thought, don't need to qualify the fact that what they are doing is "normal."
"Umm... okay," she responded, more confused than nervous.
"I want you to know that I never lied to you about anything. I'm very inexperienced with dating, so I've been very deliberate about what I've told you about me. I want you to really get to know me before we meet in person, so there are some things about my past that I need to tell you."
He took a breath to gauge her response.
"So, what is it?"
"Long story with context or short story like a band aid?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked.
He winced. This was not going well.
"I'd love to tell you everything, give you context and details. The short story may be the most effective and you can choose to hear more context if you'd like."
"I was worried at first. Now I'm just confused. Are you really sure you want to make me work this hard this early in a relationship? I was asking about fucking dinner. I didn't ask you to meet my parents. Just relax and say what you have to say. I'm tired from work and the excitement this whole thing started with wore off a while ago."
"I was in prison," he blurted out. "Well, sort of. Juvenile detention until I was 21," he quickly added.
"Ummm... okay."
"It was high profile where I'm from," he said. He was talking fast. "I want you to hear it from me, not from somewhere else. I also think you need to know before this goes too far too."
There was a pause.
"I'm also an awkward fucker," he added, hoped to bring some levity to the conversation. "That certainly doesn't help matters."
"What did you do?" she asked matter-of-factly.
It didn't work.
"I was convicted of involuntary manslaughter when I was 13. I was charged as a juvenile and released when I turned 21."
He finally said something clearly and with certainty. He'd known exactly what he would say when the time came, but this was the first time he'd said those words out loud. Lucy was the third woman he'd told his secret, but the first he told like this.
Davis wanted a woman he was dating to get to know him first, to see who he was now. If they got to know the real him, they might not worry so much about his past. He looked for the right time to be upfront, that way they would not feel misled or betrayed later.
He had limited experience in these conversations, but he was not optimistic by how this one was going.
"What was your name?" she said.
Lucy was Googling him and not finding anything.
"Shit," he thought. This was not good. The details would be much better coming from him.
"T. Davis Collins," he replied with resignation in his voice. "I changed it to 'Archer' and dropped the 'T' when I turned 18."
Lucy let out a sigh. This was not what she expected when she playfully invited herself over for dinner.
The silence lasted a little over two minutes. He could hear the tapping and clicking of her computer, as well as intermittent sighs. Each sigh chipped away at Davis' confidence that this would end well.
"I have a lot to think about," she finally offered. "I'll..." she sighed deeply once more. "I'll call you."
She hung up.
There was a strong emphasis on "you" that was plain as day: "Don't call me." All his energy drained from his body. He walked over to the stove, turned it off, and scraped the ziti mixture straight into the garbage. He hadn't noticed it was ruined beyond saving. He wouldn't have cared anyway. He'd quickly lost his appetite.
It was just 7:30 p.m., but he wanted this day to be over. He grabbed his prescription of Lorazepam and a bottle of over-the-counter sleeping pills. He took one of the former and two of the latter and laid in bed. He kicked off his shoes and decided his shorts were comfortable enough to sleep in. At least his pockets were empty. He fell asleep quickly, just as tears began to form in his eyes.