Its dark and I can't move. Yep I died again. So it should be my seventh reincarnation but there is something not right about this one. Even that time when I woke up in a womb I could at least move slightly and it fell wet this time I felt nothing. For now let's test if I remember everything correctly from before this rebirth.

Originally I was middle aged man that liked to play paper rpg and tabletop games. But certain day after playing up to third in the morning and drinking little to much I decided to go home on foot. When I was on the bridge truck going from the other side of the road turned right in my direction so I jumped from the bridge straight into the river in winter. I don't need to ad how it ended.

After that I meet a goddess, not that beautiful, nice goddess but old wrinkled overworked one. After that she got into explanation about mulltiverse. So from what I got to know about gods they are divided by the size of their domain. Supreme gods are responsible for whole multiverse, high gods for universe, gods for galaxies lesser gods for a planets. But because I was still somewhat in shock and suffered from a brain fart, you know my death and all that, I did call her lesser god and told her that she looks like Old Witch. I mean character from a certain tabletop game that is really powerful but, she misunderstood me and got really angry. it looks that even goddess have those day of the month, especially if their 89763th application for levee in row gets rejected.

So story goes like that. I lived many lives before this one, and after each death I reincarnated without memory of my previous lives. In every of those lives I was overall good man, and from time to time women and once even a pigeon. Because of that I was able to gather enough of soul credit to get a special ability of my choosing on my next reincarnation. But because goddess got somewhat offended by my complements my cheat got chosen by her. And it was, being forever reincarnated and having my memories of previous lives intact. Someone would tell that its great and made me practically immortal. And he would right about it but it has its own problems. Like having hard time to get used to new set of rules every time and doing it without any cheat only as average Joe.

My reincarnations gone like this:

1. Human knight - died at the age of 23. I went into forest to hunt some feral goblins. Didn't find Feral goblins but a whole tribe of goblins. Tribal man eating goblins. Got caught and roasted alive.

2. Ork alchemist - died at the age of 25. I lived in rural province of certain kingdom. After few years I got contracted by a earl ruling it. In the end I got burned in my own workshop by my competitor.

3. Half-elf court Mage - died at the age of 29. First world with rpg like window system. Day before my 30th birthday by accident I found Queen having naked party with two Grand knights at the same time. No she didn't ask me to join, but started to scream for guards to apprehend the rapist. She mean me. Grand knight also started to scream how I tried to rape the Queen. I knew that King would rater execute me than tell everyone that his queen is a slut. So knowing that I will die I thrown fire ball and into the bedroom and a made Royal Roast with two sausages and four eggs. After that I tried to run but got hit with an arrow to a knee form one of the guards. Having to choose between getting caught, tortured and brutally executed, or killing myself the choice was clear. I decided to wait until king will get there and start his monolog. Old lecher fu..ing maids whole day, how jealous... I mean, how horrible. And I the middle of his talk I activated certain item I had with myself and gone kaboom. His face was hilarious at that moment.

4. Dwarven Rune scholar - died at the age of 37. After goblins invaded my city I tried to retreat with rest of the population, but got surrounded by certain tribe of goblins. At that moment learning from my previous experiences I decide that going kaboom was better than to suffering. And I did it, going out with more than five hundreds goblins around me that got in the range of explosion.

5. Lizard-men summoner, blood mage - died at the age of 45. World was quite peaceful until fire dragons attacked. Its most likely sound like I heroically fought against fire dragons right. Not at all I was going to but after dragons made forest I was going close by catch fire there was a goblin stampede. This time I didn't had time to go kaboom, so the last thing I seen was goblin taking my shoes and running away with them.

6. Human farmer - died at the age of 63. From time to time everyone needs time to catch breath so because of that I decided to become a farmer. Of course I done it on my own conditions. When I was 63 my "farm" was bigger than some aristocrats territories and I was even producing alchemical ingredients. I also passed my knowledge about magic, fighting, alchemy and enchanting to my family. But then one day third prince of Maya kingdom decided to take my twelve years old granddaughter as his 67th concubine. Of course I told him to scram but he didn't take it well. He ordered his knights to kill my family and burn my farm. So I activated glyph that I hidden before my main door. It made swamp under them to stop them from moving. It was a special kind producing explosive gas. And after that I gave it small spark. And that's how you make an royal roast. After that I made my family and servants pack all we had and run away while I stayed behind to stop pursuit.

After all my lives I learned than thought you will never be ready for everything you should still try and do so. And so after such a long live you can tell that my home become quite a fortress, a magic powered fortress. I send of my family by secret teleportation gate that I had used a lot of magic stones and connections to build. After that I destroyed the gate so no one can trace them and activated home defenses. Battalion of  Earth golems, two Squadrons of wind spirits, another of fire elementals and even some automatons. When they got in position I activated all the traps and started to wait. Kingdom wasn't ready for this.

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First battalion of knights in shining armors fallen in to the trap and got completely whipped out, second attack was made by an army infantry brigade and thought they did take heavy loses we fought to a standstill. They decided to ask for whole division to support them and after it came they started to push back my forces even when they were taking heavy losses. After they pushed me to the wall and started their preaching I done what I do best when my live is nearing its end. I made all the buildings that had whole division of army inside between them go kaboom.

Story of the life finished and it looks that nothing is missing so is there anyone who can tell me what is happening with me now. Devil, god, tooth fairy anyone ? 

Ding,ding You connected to the god line, after signal chose god you want to connect with.

What the hell, this is something new.