Chapter 6: Causes of insomnia, and the shadow of contempt.

— Man likes to deceive himself; to humiliate others to prove to himself that he is strong, however, even if he is really stronger, he will still be pathetic inside.

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“I just can't sleep.”

After my brief dialogue with the goddess, all I want is to rest, but the worry about my unpredictable future does not allow me this basic need, which in my current situation, would be a gift.

Every time I tried to sleep, my mind tied me in chains and made me sink into an ocean of worry.

How will I survive in this world like this? Will I be able to eat tomorrow? What if I find civilization? How will I communicate with them without even knowing what language they speak?

“Fuck you, go fuck yourself.”

No matter how tired I am, I can't sleep; my naturally restless mind is drowning in a sea of fear and anxiety.

Such feelings acted like an ocean and a freshwater river meeting, with the only difference being that they do not stratify, they just mix in a violent whirlpool, pulling me each time to the bottom of the sea while brutally drowning me.

I was letting myself be carried away by the sweet and salty waters that might never have been calm before, but because I had never experienced them so intensely, I forgot that in my mind I can do anything, including swimming in such rough waters. Such waters, mere creations of my mind, because they were mine and mine alone, trapped me and made themselves my tormentor, a terrible persecutor.

“At least my arm is healed.”

However, my consciousness, despite wavering, can still reason clearly.

What do I do? I'm already in a tough spot, and lack of sleep could make my overall health worse, making my situation worse! Wait, I have an idea.

“I will count sheep!”

That's it! I've always heard that counting sheep makes you sleepy. Let's go.

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7…. 25….. 50”

It's not working.

“180… 3075… I give up.”

So, what can I do now to reduce my tiredness? Since I can't sleep today, I'm going to at least try to alleviate the harm caused by lack of sleep; I'm going to meditate.

Some theories fervently claim that meditation is the same thing as sleeping, because in both the body is at rest; the difference is that in meditation, you do not dream.

I don't believe in such superstitions, however, a man in drastic situations needs to make drastic decisions.

I positioned my body in a lotus pose and tried to pay attention to my breathing. My fatigue eased a little, which was a surprise to me, but it wasn't the fatigue that eased that surprised me the most: I could feel an energy in the air. And not just in the air, but also a kind of energy flowing through my veins.

I tried to manipulate it; I forced it to fluoride towards my hand, and I felt it strengthening. I forced it to go to my foot, and it also strengthened.

“Convenient.” I muttered. As much as I felt a little awkward dealing with that strange energy, I liked the feeling of strength it gave me.

“What if I…”

I tried to detect; feel the energy around me, and I did it; I could feel particles of nectar in the air. I really didn't know if it was actually nectar, mana, or qi.

“There is a strange energy… coming from the deepest part of the cave….”

I got up and went to check. Even though the traces and nectar flow were weak, there was still a chance that some powerful monster would appear, however, I can't leave here; outside is more dangerous.

I followed the flow of energy and entered the deepest part of the cave.

“An amulet…?”

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What a waste of time. I spent the time I could have been lying down saving energy in exchange for finding a mere amulet.

The only thing I could do was let out a deep sigh. Just as I prepared to throw the amulet away, it suddenly glowed, and a woman with orange eyes and blue hair appeared in front of me.

“Hello. From now on, I am your master.”

My astonishment was so great that it would not be an understatement to say that I plunged into an ocean of perplexity.

"What?!"

***

Virelai Aria

I looked at… uh… the mutant capybara in front of me. Honestly, I’m surprised that a low-level living being like this can speak, but even if it can speak, it’s still just an animal with a weak bloodline.

His magical power is almost non-existent, and he only has the same average level of nectar as a normal Ruth—which is impressive for a lesser species like her, but not extraordinary. And on top of that, he speaks the same language as me.

“What luck.” I ended up muttering unintentionally, and the mutant capybara was left bewildered.

"Like this?"

I replied quickly.

“Nothing. Anyway, where was I again? Oh, yes: I’m offering my tutorship. You should feel honored; in my past life, I was someone very powerful; I was always among the best of the best…”

“But who are you?”

I remained silent for 5 seconds and then began to tell some random facts about my achievements. My goal was obvious: to create tension with the silence and with it to catch the attention of this mutant capybara, and with narrations of my achievements, to keep her attention and convince her to help me get a new body.

“Okay, but like… why are you telling me this?!”

Although I was slightly irritated when a creature of inferior lineage interrupted me, I didn't show it; I need this creature to get out of here.

Because?

To summarize, I am a person from Earth who reincarnated into the world of Niere Throne 500 years ago.

The way I reincarnated here was quite... let's say... calm; I went to sleep, and when I woke up, I had reincarnated as the daughter of someone powerful, whose power was not just due to external forces; my new parents could destroy small stone houses with a single punch.

Needless to say, in the beginning, I lived a peaceful life... not so much, of course, if we exclude the various assassination attempts against my entire family, then my life was peaceful, but even so, I consider it a good life.

Almost everyone in the world enjoys the idea of reincarnating into another world and starting over, but with the memories of their past life. If someone says they don't want to reincarnate, then that person is not financially poor. Furthermore, reincarnating as the daughter of someone powerful and having a structured family on top of that... uh.

Why are webtoons where the female protagonist is reincarnated as a princess or something similar so popular? Simple: they fill people's frustration through fantasies.

Now, why do people need their fantasies fulfilled? The answer is very simple, so simple that it seems stupid: most people are dissatisfied with their lives.

Reality is disappointing, especially for people who don't have any striking characteristics; it's no wonder that most protagonists are similar in personality and appearance — it's to make readers identify with them. This way, it's easier to immerse yourself in the world of a manga or novel and feel like you're in the protagonist's shoes.

In my opinion, in a world like Earth, and with the emergence of social networks, self-esteem has been decreasing more and more, and the ego has been increasing and replacing it.

People always think they deserve more; that the world never provides enough for them; yet most people deserve to be where they are.

Sure, I'm sure I deserve more than the people around me, but unlike them, I really do deserve more than I have and I'm not buying into any illusions.

Unlike them, I was born to be among those who rule the world; not to be ruled. If I am to be ruled, let it be by myself. This is a fact, because in my past life on earth, I suffered a lot and did not earn what I truly deserved, and for that the world should reward me.

Many people were impressed because

I remember exactly the time when I held the glory - and I still have it, but not as much as before -. However, the interior collapsed thanks to a traitor: Joel Yuki, who betrayed my father and joined the enemy prince.

After a war that lasted 200 years, our empire finally lost, and I, in order not to become a slave relay, used the money I had left and hired magicians and sorcerers to make a necklace whose power was to store the soul and maintain consciousness, and I succeeded. After that, they teleported the amulet to another dimension and now here.

Despite being the only option to maintain my dignity, transferring my soul to the amulet cost me a penny; I would no longer be able to absorb or create nectar or magic and on top of that I had to have a host, otherwise I would die. And I am on the verge of dying, if it weren't for my mana reserve that I have accumulated throughout my life, I would be dead, but there is a caveat; this reversal will end in 5 hours.

From a ruler of the world, to a mere amulet. Is there a greater humiliation? Either way, my priority now is to convince this mutant capybara to take me with her.

Since she or he (I don't know exactly what gender this animal is, after all, there are cases where a woman has a masculine voice) can speak, he or she probably has verbal thought and can think about his or her own existence. It is likely that he or she wants to be much more than a mere capybara.

To make an analogy, the capybara is like a hikikomori, and I, the goddess who will gift it with a new life and fulfill its fantasies.

Any proposal that seems even slightly better than it is now, she will accept!

"I see. Could you continue?"

Almost smiling with satisfaction; this inferior being is in my hands.