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C71 - Self Conscious

C71 - Self Conscious

The rest of the ride went smoothly. Nobody wished to approach Dirk, so he and Ava were left alone inside their wagon. Like that, the two rested with each other as they pulled up to the town.

Upon arrival, Dirk and Ava jumped out of the wagon. The sun was already setting and night would be coming soon, so the air was taking on a comfortable chill.

Right after they stretched their stiff limbs, they saw the merchant hobble over to them.

"Sir Dirk, I just want to thank you. I don't think anybody could have guessed that we would be attacked twice on this trip. Still, you saved the lives of me and my people. Take this."

Saying that, the merchant dropped a sack into Dirk's hands. It was filled with coins.

"That holds the money you paid for this trip along with a gift from me, as thanks for everything you've done. Without you, I fear that possibly everyone might have lost their lives or have been taken hostage. Then I would really be ruined! So once again, thank you."

With that, the merchant bid goodbye. Dirk didn't say a word throughout, something that half signified his acceptance. He could only sigh as he and Ava finally walked into the town. As they left, they caught a glimpse of the three guards. Dirk only looked at them once though before continuing on. He didn't need the sight of those people to further ruin his mood.

After taking a look around them, Dirk and Ava were surprised by how wealthy this town seemed to be. The buildings were made of stone and there were a few that rose to almost 100 meters in height. If it covered a larger area, then it would be considered a small city.

Seeing the myriads of people walking through the streets, Dirk and Ava felt their spirits lifted a bit. The ride to this town had been spent with sour moods due to the attacks, so they only wanted to have a little peace. Dirk felt disappointed thinking about this. Both of them had left with springy and happy smiles since they had just advanced. They were planning on coming to this town and rushing to the king's hall, killing the king before returning victorious. Now, it wouldn't be the glorious adventure they thought it would be. Bad luck and anger had ruined it for everyone.

But time healed all wounds. After spending a while taking a stroll together, Dirk and Ava didn't feel so bad. In this place where nobody knew them, they could act and feel however they wanted.

While they walked, Dirk opened up the bag the merchant gave him. After looking inside and counting the coins, he was surprised to see 500 gold inside. This was a bit under double the reward for the mission they were doing. It seemed Dirk had frightened the merchant more than he thought.

This put Dirk in an even happier mood. If he could make that much money every trip, he wouldn't mind doing it a few times.

"He really gave a lot, huh?"

Ava saw the 500 gold and was also surprised. If they wanted, they could return to the academy and it would have made for a worthwhile trip. Only, they didn't come here for money, but practice. They had no intention of returning.

Dirk closed the bag and put it into his pocket ring.

"I guess the lives of two guards are worth 500 gold."

"You mean the lives of the merchant along with his workers and then guards. Considering that you saved and spared the lives of the entire caravan, 500 isn't actually that much."

Thinking this, Ava frowned a little. Dirk had killed around 16 people this trip, a number that would've been 18 should Hannah and Dean have really gotten on his bad side. He also saved the entire caravan. Depending on the value of the merchandise being moved, 500 gold truly wasn't a lot. The merchant could have lost thousands.

Hearing Ava, Dirk smirked a bit. She was still angry about everything that happened and would likely hold a grudge for a long while. Dirk didn't push the topic though. As only he knew, everything likely happened due to his presence. He couldn't in right mind demand excessive compensation for something he indirectly caused. For him, 500 gold was a good number.

"Whatever. Let's head into the dungeon association and get a map. Tomorrow we'll head in."

"Alright. Are you sure you don't want to rest a day? Your body isn't exactly in its best condition..."

Ava looked at Dirk worriedly. His face still had several bruises on it along with a split lip. His body was even worse, and Ava had spotted several black bruises on his torso. The beating he took wasn't light since it came from two low Rank 4 anima trainers. The only reason he was still standing was because of his unrelenting endurance.

Hearing her, Dirk initially wanted to refuse. But when he thought about relaxing and spending some peaceful time with Ava, he changed his mind. It wasn't like they were rushing or anything. They had plenty of time. Why force himself to his limit if there was no need?

"Alright. Let's rest tomorrow. We have all this money. Maybe we can go to a restaurant."

"I like that idea."

Ava smiled at the suggestion. Dirk smiled at her smile, and like that, the two walked to the dungeon association.

There, they bought a map and some information telling them about the dungeon monsters and king. Dirk scanned it all before pocketing it.

"So, what restaurant?"

As they walked out of the association building and onto the darkening streets of the town, Ava nudged Dirk's shoulder while asking. He confidently spoke.

"The biggest one of course. There's no way food would cost more than 500 gold at even the biggest place here. You'll only see stuff like that in the capital..."

Dirk mumbled as he thought about his celebratory date with his mother. The restaurant they went to had been so amazingly expensive that Dirk gawked when his mother whipped out three crystal coins at the end of their meal. That was 3000 gold coins just for their food! While the food was indeed heavenly, Dirk was disgusted at such ridiculous prices. He was even further shocked when his mother told him about food that cost dozens, hundreds, and even thousands of crystal coins. While those foods were created from materials harvested from Tier 6 and 7 monsters, it was still crazy that such food existed. Dirk couldn't fathom such things at his level.

Shrugging, Dirk and Ava walked toward the biggest buildings in the town. One of them was the dungeon association, but the other was actually a restaurant. It was here that Dirk and Ava walked. Of course, Ava couldn't resist linking arms with Dirk as they walked in.

"Just two for tonight?"

Arriving at the door, a nice hostess greeted the two with a smile. Ava nodded happily.

"Yes, just us two. Can we go to the top floor?"

"That depends. Do you have sufficient capital?"

"How does 500 gold sound?"

Dirk spoke as he raised the bag containing exactly 500 gold. The hostess nodded with a smile.

"Very well. Take this card and head to the top. Have a wonderful night."

"Thank you!"

Taking the card, Ava pulled Dirk in with a bright smile. It wasn't very often she got to feel like a VIP customer, so she was relishing in the feeling. Besides, it wasn't like her and Dirk's families weren't already filthy rich. Several thousand gold was nothing much to them, so they didn't mind spending a measly 500 gold that they got from some merchant. That was if they spent it all anyway.

With that, the two ascended straight to the top of the building. There, they were led to a private booth on the wall of the room that overlooked the entire town. For a few miles around, they could see soft lights glowing in the nightly darkness among the hundreds of town buildings. Ava was fascinated by the sight. It wasn't nearly as glorious as the capital city, but this little town held its own charm.

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After a while, the two placed orders with a waiter that elegantly catered to them, spending 170 gold in one go. After that, it wasn't long before plates of food were brought out.

Side by side, the two dug in. They tasted all the different flavors of each dish, even feeding the other bites of their own dish. Occasionally they giggled like children, earning stares and glances from the rest of the people in the room. The two just focused on each other though, not bothering to put up an act for random strangers.

Like this, they spent almost two hours at their table. By the end, after their plates had been totally cleaned, they gazed out at the dark landscape partially lit by the two moons in the sky.

"Mmm... I'm tired."

As Ava leaned on Dirk's body, she softly spoke while resisting the call to sleep.

"Let's go then. I think the other large building is a hotel."

"Okay..."

The two stood, Dirk partially supporting Ava's drowsy self. They walked out of the restaurant and into another tall stone building with a big sign on it. It was here that Dirk paid 80 gold for a single room on the top floor, earning him a wink from the hotel manager. He rolled his eyes as he basically carried Ava up the many stairs.

Upon walking into their room, Ava let herself fall onto the large bed.

"Ahh... this is actually really comfortable. And clean."

"I would hope so."

Dirk spoke as he sat down. The sheets were fresh and mattress thick. The only bed he would be more comfortable in was the bed inside his own home.

"Come here."

Suddenly, Ava grabbed Dirk's arm and pulled him into the bed. She flicked up the sheets, covering both of them. She then curled against his body under the cold covers in an attempt to keep warm.

Dirk didn't resist of course. As Ava got more and more brazen, he went along with it. After she cuddled against him, he enjoyed her fingers that ran through his hair.

"Definitely not one of the best days we've ever had."

"Heh, far from it."

Dirk chuckled at Ava's soft evaluation. First they were attacked by bandits, then Dirk had to take the beatings of two Rank 4's. While they had a nice night out at a fancy restaurant later at night, it wasn't able to totally erase the gloominess of the day's events. While Dirk's soul was already that of an adult, it seemed both of them had aged years over this single ride to town. Especially Ava. Dirk regretted how fast she was being forced to grow up.

Unfortunately, in this world of magical power and monsters, death and destruction were a much more prevalent way of life. There was no escaping it, especially not for people like Ava who were walking the path of a mage and warrior. If anything, they were diving in head first, and Ava was only getting a taste of what life would be like from now on.

Still, with Dirk's adaptation to this new life and Ava's growth amidst this chaotic world, they were both becoming stronger people. With these emotional downs, they were able to enjoy the happy ups even more.

Ava turned her head up and looked at Dirk's face. With her innate mental powers, she could sense tranquility from him with only some small ripples. It seemed he had calmed greatly despite the turbulence during the attacks.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Hehe, for saving me from the scary bad guys."

Ava grinned as she hugged Dirk's body. After slipping her fingers in between his, she looked at his cheek. With a beating heart, she seemed to make a decision before moving closer.

Then, Dirk felt a soft sensation on his cheek. After letting it pass, he turned his head, looking at Ava's rosy face. They laid there with their faces only an inch away from the other. Neither said anything, only feeling the warm shallow breaths of the other.

Then, slowly, Ava inched closer. Dirk felt himself be frozen by an invisible force, all his instincts that kept him calm in sudden and unexpected situations vanishing.

She pushed forward.

Their lips touched, sending shivers down both of their bodies. Ava's initially tight grip on Dirk's hand loosened as she felt herself melt a little. Dirk's body also relaxed. At that moment, he felt incredibly vulnerable. Usually he would push away any form of vulnerability, but right now, he couldn't help but revel in it. The conflict between wanting to be guarded and wanting to be open raged in his mind, but with Ava's touch, the latter side won.

After what felt like an eternity, the two separated just a little.

Dirk stared at her, unsure of what to do. And she looked back, waiting, expecting more.

But he didn't go for more. He knew he couldn't. Instead, he let out a long breath and dipped his head.

He felt bad as Ava's breathing became a bit light, but neither of them spoke. Instead, Dirk just ignored everything else and went to sleep, trying to get his mind off his conflict.

.........

"Mm..."

As the sun blessed the world with its vital light once more, Dirk's body automatically woke him up. He opened his eyes before squinting under the bright sunlight that streamed through the windows in his room.

As he lay there, his brain quickly processed the events of the night before. Remembering everything, he suddenly frowned.

"Oh god..."

He pinched his nose as a long breath escaped his mouth. Looking down at Ava's content face on his chest, he felt shameful and conflicted. She didn't know the first thing about his true self, and he felt like he was lying to this innocent soul. It was why he didn't go further.

He closed his eyes.

"Well, at least my self-restraint is still there..."

"Mmm..."

At that moment, Dirk felt Ava shift as she let out a small moan. His mouth closed as her body moved against his. Through their loose and thin clothes, he could feel every detail, making him feel even more shameful. He adjusted a bit, moving her off his body and to his side.

After Ava stretched out and popped a few joints, she sighed and opened her eyes. The two stared at each other for a while before she eventually spoke.

"So what should we do today?"

"...Honestly, maybe we should head into the dungeon."

Dirk spoke his honest thoughts after thinking for a second. He was afraid that if they got too much alone and quiet time, she might want to try again. The dungeon was the perfect distraction from her developing feelings.

"Really? How are your wounds?"

Ava asked as she looked at his face. When she actually concentrated on it, she was surprised. All the bruises were gone, and even the split lip was now only a thin red cut. After lifting his shirt and looking at his chest and abdomen, she was even more shocked. The day before, he was filled with black and purple bruises, some of which even bled. Now, his skin was almost perfectly clear, his toned body being shown off in full glory.

"You know, I'm feeling pretty good. I think my destruction cycles are paying off."

"...Well if you're really alright."

Ava mumbled unsurely as she lowered his shirt. This rate of healing seemed a bit too fast. Of course, she didn't know about Dirk's nanites. With those on top of his twice enhanced blood and enhanced skin, healing from bruises was something that would indeed happen within the day.

And Dirk really did feel almost perfectly fine. There were only a few internal wounds that he had yet to heal from, but he wouldn't tell Ava that.

"We should go then."

"Mm. Alright. But... we don't have to go right this second..."

"I think we do. Get up."

"Ack!"

Dirk pinched her side as she got a bit too comfy, causing her to jerk away in response. If Dirk had come to know one interesting detail about her, it was that she absolutely hated being tickled.

So after being sobered, both of them prepared to leave. Dirk could've swore that she sighed in disappointment, but he could only ignore it.

.........

'I hate myself and everyone in this town.'

An hour later, Dirk cursed himself as he and Ava walked down a town street. Both of them were geared up for the dungeon, and their faces were in stark contrast to the other.

As they walked, Ava stuck to Dirk like glue, smiling radiantly as who knew what thoughts fluttered through her pink mind. It didn't seem like his subtle rejection had even happened.

On the contrary, Dirk's expression was apathetic, almost cold. Combined with his black armor, he gave off a dark and menacing aura. Though, this seemed to go totally unnoticed by the girl who stuck to him.

The two couldn't look more opposite, one cheery and buttery, the other ruthless and frigid. The people who walked by this duo glanced at them strangely.

"Hehe, I'm in a good mood. Are you in a good mood?"

Suddenly, Ava skipped around and bumped Dirk with her shoulder. He looked at her before looking around.

"I've been better."

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"...People look at us."

Dirk spoke as his eyes flitted toward the various passerby.

Ava tilted her head.

"So?"

"I don't like being looked at."

"Since when? I thought you never cared about what people thought. That's why you went around school with a half bald head for almost a month."

"..."

Dirk was quiet as he remembered. It was indeed true that he didn't care about other people. No matter the names he was called or the weird ways people looked at him, he didn't even bat an eye.

But now, for some reason, he was much more sensitive to the gazes of those around him. Pondering for a second, he suddenly looked at Ava.

"You."

"Huh?"

"It's you. You made me self conscious."

"Oh? Did I? But whatever do you have to be self conscious over?"

Ava smiled mischievously as she stopped and hugged his arm. As she suddenly pushed her body against his, Dirk felt an unfamiliar but amazingly strong sense of embarrassment come over him.

Ava whispered as her face pulled close to his.

"There are people watching. What if we kissed anyway?"

"...Nope."

"Hm?"

As Dirk suddenly grabbed her wrist, Ava was confused. But then, his arms skillfully maneuvered and spun her body around. She was shocked as he lifted her arm behind her own back.

"Ack! Ah! I'm sorry!"

As Dirk lifted her arm into a lock with surprising force, Ava let out a small squeal. Hearing her plead, Dirk shook his head of embarrassment, calming himself.

"Let's go to the dungeon. I think we both need to kill some monsters and focus ourselves."

"Yes, yes, I understand."

"Good."

With a nod, Dirk let Ava's arm go. She took a sharp breath as the lock released and pain subsided, swinging her shoulder.

With a sigh, she turned around, about to scold Dirk a little for the unexpected shoulder lock. But when she did, she didn't see him.

"Dirk?"

Ava spun around, baffled by Dirk's silent disappearance. After a couple of spins though, she suddenly spotted a dark figure walking amidst the crowd of passersby. Concentrating, she saw it was Dirk.

"Hey! Where are you going?!"

With a step, Ava dashed over. Dirk turned his head toward her.

"You spotted me rather quickly."

"Please, I can never mistake your aura. And was that a magic? Like void walking?"

"Aura, huh... And no, that wasn't a magic. You just need better situational awareness."

"I do not!"

Ava shouted as she took back up her position on Dirk's arm. As she further questioned him about that unexpected ability of his, the two continued heading toward the dungeon.