Thana Mourningjay

The world around me was chaos, but I was placid as a lake. That was mostly because I'd been asked to stay out of the way, but hey, everyone had their time, and I was apparently really unhelpful here. Really, really unhelpful, enough so that even Milo had told me to find somewhere to sit quietly.

Which was fine, since I hadn't done my morning meditations or exercises, something I did launch into. My own things were packed already, few as they were, and my routine made me feel sort of normal. I could even do it in the small courtyard they had in the back and be outside at the same time, which was the best thing ever. There was a breeze here, and the gentle sounds of birds, which grated eventually, but were still so different that I loved them.

Even if it was sometimes annoying, or tiring, or just a bit much the world outside of The Tower was so alive. There was color, and flavor, and sounds, so many sounds and sensations that I couldn't take them in fast enough, couldn't feel everything all at once. It was quite overwhelming, but beautiful.

“You ready kid?” Milo eventually said, coming out to where I was stretching. I'd learned in prison that any exercise was good exercise, and it kept you busy.

“Yup!”

“Ah, bit of a question. Where was your hometown?” he asked a bit hesitantly.

“Blackfield, to the northeast of the city about a day's walk, why?” I asked, worried.

“Well, we're headed that way anyway, and I thought you might want to stop by there.”

“I have nothing to say to my parents right now Milo. In a few years, maybe, but not right now.” It wasn't so much that I hated them, just that I wanted nothing to do with them.

“There's also the matter of your cat, the one you told me about. I was serious when I said we couldn't just leave it there, someone could get hurt,” he explained with a sad, but serious look.

I was a bit nervous on that account. I could still sort of feel the connection, the years and distance never breaking it, some sort of strange bit of magic. It didn't do much for me, as I was too far to give commands, but it was there, a sort of reassurance in bad times. I frowned as I thought of it, knowing he would want to destroy Scritches, but nodded. We really couldn't just leave him there.

Milo's family had a small cart with a donkey attached to the front, in which was most of their important possessions. Some things had to be left of course, and those were packed up and locked down as well as could be done, but as we left I could tell that his sister and her family were scared.

It was our warrior who decided the marching order. He and Lloyd, took point, walking on either side of the donkey, the latter having been given the spare chain shirt. I walked just behind the cart with the other women of the group.

“You look tough,” Samira said, making a small punching movement.

I laughed. “Thanks for the shirt by the way, hate to ruin my only dress.”

“Eh, it was old and needed to be turned into rags anyway. Uncle Milo said that having someone with visible armor near us would make people think twice too. Though I'm sorry we couldn't find you a good weapon.”

I smiled at that, because I was the weapon. My hands, my body, my magic, these were my weapons, not a blade or a cudgel. “I'm sure it'll be fine,” I said, letting the improvised spear thunk on the ground.

Lloyd had an old shortsword, a normal item for any man to own, while both Amy and Samira had only daggers, the common self-defense method for anyone, women particularly. They wouldn't do much against an armored soldier unless you got lucky, but were more than enough to dissuade a man from bothering you.

“And thank you for the blade Mrs. Amy,” I said once again, pointing to the old dagger of hers that was now serving as part of my improvised spear.

“Every woman should have something dear,” she answered. “Shame that you lost your weapon.”

“Oozes don't play games,” I said sagely.

“So you actually fought a monster? What are they like?” the other girl asked. I knew she was about my age, but she seemed so much younger.

“They hurt,” I responded, thinking back to the attack I'd taken.

“Enough you two, we're coming up to the gate,” her mother said.

We weren't the only ones trying to get the heck out of the city. There was a small group here, looking to where the gate was and trying to get through. There were several such gates around the city, but we'd chosen this one because it was farther from the fighting than the others. The Corians had taken about half of the city in total, and were working their way around to the main structures. They were content to ignore random people so long as you didn't present as a threat, which running civilians certainly didn't.

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A few harried guardsmen were here, trying to look for people of import and large stashes of valuables. They were content to take their time, even if everyone wanted out. The walls and gates were now firmly under Corian control, with only the inner districts still able to hold against them.

Our turn came and we were quickly stopped. The leader of this little troupe was giving Milo a hard look.

“Not going to defend your city old-timer?” he asked.

“I did my part when I was young, the city is fallen, and I'm getting my people out,” Milo answered calmly.

“You could stay, we need good men, and you've got the look of a man who's seen fights. Pay's good, and your family here would be safe,” the guard offered. It appeared they were still trying to recruit.

“If I say no are we gonna have problems?” Milo asked.

“Well... if you were a younger man maybe, but as a gesture of good faith, suppose I can let a man take care of his kin.” The guard gave a smile and waved us through.

Before we could pass though I felt someone grab my arm. “Hold on there miss,” one of the other guards said, looking me over.

“Something wrong there?” their leader asked, looking over.

“Look at the dress there Sargent, they threw a ratty old shirt and some armor over it, but she's no peasant,” said the man who'd grabbed me.

“Ah, I see. Now lass letting through some common folk just trying to get out the way is one thing, letting a merchant or noble daughter out is quite another,” their leader said, coming over. “Now come with us miss, don't worry, we'll not hurt you, make ransoming you back to your family a bit more trouble if we did that.”

I leaned in, “I'm no noble, and no merchant, and my family doesn't give a shit about me,” I whispered in his ear. “What I am is a mage, who has no love for Liria or Coria. You let me go, and I'll go, quiet as that, but if you don't... Your men may get me, but not before I get the two of you. Because I am NOT going back in a cage.”

With a small flex of will the man who'd grabbed me yanked back his hand, hissing through his teeth as the bit of magic I'd released flowed up his arm. The other soldiers were closing in, but this was a small gate, and there were only five here. I could see the man counting, trying to figure the odds that they could put me down before I killed him, and quickly coming up short. The fact that the man who'd initiated all of this was shaking and spitting blood, barely keeping on his feet helped.

“Back in a cage?' he said as he motioned his men to back off. “Fuck me, you're an escapee.” He was whispering too, not wanting that to get out.

“Maximum security, and I had to kill a lot of people to get out of there. Consider that my service to your army if you want, but get out of my way. Either that or we fight right now, your choice.”

It took him a few seconds, but then he looked up, yelling at his men. “Let them through,”

“But sir, Jordan!” one of his men said.

“I said let them through soldier,” he repeated.

Quickly we all pushed through the gate, the soldiers still on edge behind us.

“We need to go, now,” I pointed out as we sped down the nearest road at a brisk walk. “Before he finds his balls and reports this to his commanding officers.”

“You had to attack him, why did you have to attack him!?” Milo said as he pushed the pack animal to the highest speed he could.

“I am not going back in a box Milo, never, not ever again,” I hissed.

“Sorry what!?” his sister asked, scared.

“I'll explain in a couple of miles, run first, questions later,” her brother answered.

Milo Greyson

“You're telling me you brought a murderous prisoner that you released into my home,” Amy hissed.

“They were going to kill her, and she didn't deserve to die,” I sighed.

“And how do you know that Milo? Were you there? Who told you to decide!” my sister nearly screamed at me.

“They admitted it Amy. It wasn't that she did anything horribly evil, she just reacts badly to healing. If she didn't she'd have been freed, but they were going to kill her for it. I couldn't...”

“You don't have to save every lost lamb you find Milo, she's not some helpless little bird, and she's not Petra!”

*SLAP*

“Mom!” Samira yelled, rushing over, to her fallen parent.

I looked down at my hand, mind reeling as I realized what I'd done. My sister was sprawled out on the ground. I'd hit her, hard and with steel gauntlets on, not even thinking about it. My sister looked at me with pain in her eyes, and anger.

“Amy, I-I'm sorry.” I began to reach for her, only to find her husband there, interposed between us with his small sword drawn.

“I like you Milo, I trusted you.” Lloyd looked hurt, and a bit afraid, but determined. “Go, just, just go.”

I turned and began walking, pain welling as I realized how much I'd screwed my own life up.

“Come on kid,” I managed, trying to hide the tears beginning to well up.

Thana followed and we walked in silence. She pretended not to notice the fact that I'd pulled up my hood to hide my face, letting me do as I must. Hours passed and we changed roads, even cutting through the brush a few times or doubling back to throw off any pursuers.

After I'd calmed down and stopped to wash my face in a stream she finally spoke.

“What happened back there?” she asked.

“She brought up my wife,” I said, looking into the flowing water.

“You're married?”

“I was, when I was younger; died in childbirth, her and our daughter, and, it broke me kid.” I struggled, not having talked about this many times. “Could have been worse, luckily I was never much for drink, or it really would have been. Still though, I spent years just sort of, lost, not knowing what to do.”

“I'm sorry, I can't even imagine what that's like.” I felt a small hand land on my shoulder.

“Thanks. Now I've fucked up and the last family I had left hates me.”

“That one I do understand. Unlike me though, there may be a chance they'll forgive you, not today, but one day,” she sounded like she hoped it really was true.

I looked at her, and realized that having someone hate you was something she really might get.

“Was it wrong you think, doing what we did?” I asked.

“Milo, I just wanted to live. I'd like to help people, but I'll tell you the truth, I don't really care what they think of me, or about hurting people who want to hurt me, or about corpses or that kind of thing. I know most people think it's wrong, and maybe it is, but I don't care. I'll do what I must with what I can. If I can help people on the way I will, but most people won't want my help, and I know that. So if you want someone to tell you what's wrong or right, it probably isn't me,” she said, looking at the water as well. “But I don't know what else to do but try, try to live and not cause too much damage, and maybe do some good on the way.”

“Guess I'll find someone else to ask then,” I grumbled.

“Probably a good idea, but not a priest of Vitala, most of them are horrid, that much I do know.”

That got me to chuckle a bit. “I still like to think she isn't, but the paladins were certainly a bit lost huh?” I scrubbed my face again and began to look around. “Alright, let's camp just on that hill there. Having water for tomorrow morning will be nice.”

“Alright Milo, you know more about this than I do.”

As we set up camp I considered. She was right that today really wasn't the time to try and mend things. It was all a little raw, and I'd really messed up. When we got to The Free Cities though I'd send a letter to my sister apologizing and begging her forgiveness. I'd give her space though, if she didn't want to see me again, well, so be it, but I would hope, for that was all I could do.

We set out fairly early the next day, after Thana going through her morning routine and complaining loudly about how bad her feet hurt. Suppose not walking anywhere far for years would make those a bit soft. I still felt bad, but, there was just a little light in this darkness.

Before we managed to get to her hometown we found a temple at the side of the road. It was small, and well back from the path. It was also bright and open, and surrounded by graves.

“That doesn't look like a temple to Vitala,” Thana observed.

“Because it's not, it's one to her brother Veteo.”

“I've never been in one. Should we go and pay our respects to the dead? Never did get to give Perry a funeral.”

“Not the worst idea I've heard. His priests are a bit, well, you'll see.”

We turned to the path, and began walking towards the temple. The doors seemed to smile and welcome us as we approached.