Gu Li had a piercing headache. One moment, he was doing dishes at home, and now, he was sitting on a brightly colored sky-blue lizard-ostrich mount, staring down into a dark ravine.
Memories of a second life came unbidden. Cultivation, ancient Chinese clothing, an obsession over Face, and the fact he now had long black hair swirled into his mind. It soon became evident to him, he was in a cultivation world.
[Welcome To The Senior Brother System!] Bright flashy words burned themselves in front of Gu Li’s eyeballs.
[Guide Your Juniors To A Brighter Tomorrow!]
Without time to think about his predicament, the system text expanded.
[Name: Gu Li
Realm: 1.5 (200CP To 1.6)
Cultivation Points (CP): 0
Cultivation Manual: Readers Paradise I (18%), Devils Palm I (35%)
Spells: Illusory Palm I (28%), Light Ball I (45%)
Quests: (Daily 0/10) [Impart Knowledge To A Junior 3 Times | Reward: 5CP]
(Daily 0/10) [Receive Praise From A Junior | Reward: 5CP]
(Daily 0/3) [Guide A Junior In Cultivation | Reward: 25CP]
(Daily 0/3) [Guide a Junior In Crafting | Reward: 25CP]
(Daily 0/5) [Save A Juniors Life | Reward: 50CP]
Shop: (Weapons, Apparel, Manuals, Spells, Elixirs, Talismans, Misc)
Organization: Five Joys Sect]
Before the panic of isekai’ing into a Xianxia world could set in, Gu Li’s thoughts were interrupted.
“Senior Brother, kuh couh, ahem, Senior Brother.” A tall, lanky, pale guy in wearing a straw hat, a claw on his left hand, and smoking a pipe broke Gu Li out of his fugue.
“Congratulations, Senior Brother! With Li Ping gone, you can finally hook up with his childhood friend, Miss Tsang!” A tanned, short and chunky, greasy haired guy in a red robe gave a thumbs up with one hand, and twiddled a coin in the other. Tied to his waist was a thick mace, dried blood coated its tip.
The headache began to subside, and the actions he took earlier in the day began to become clear. These two goons were Hei Yu, and Fu Cao. Earlier in the day, he took a new Outer Disciple, Li Ping out on a mission to hunt down a traitor. Gu Li had pretended to help the noob, but in reality, his death would pave the way into some hot woman’s pants!
“What a classically idiotic plot.” Gu Li muttered to himself.
“Senior Brother?” Hei Yu took a long drag on his pipe, and narrowed his eyes.
“I said, idiots! Don’t you read the stories?! Pushing someone off a cliff, and assuming they’re dead? Which chicken brain thought this plan up?!” Gu Li snapped at the pair.
Hei Yu, and Fu Cao shared a look.
Hei Yu roughly nudged Fu Cao in the side.
Fu Cao frowned, then flipped his coin. It landed heads up, eliciting a smile from the chubby young man.
“It was you, Senior Brother!” Fu Cao cheerily replied.
“Of course it was.” Gu Li slapped himself on the forehead.
“Listen up! Going forward, if someone falls down a ravine, into a river, or inexplicably disappears, we will no longer assume they’re dead! Unless I see a body, we’ll be acting on the notion that the enemy is still alive. Got that?” Gu Li crossed his arms, and stared the duo down.
“R-right, I sure did!” Fu Cao was quick to agree.
“Sure, aheh, thing.” Smoke leaked out of Hei Yu’s mouth as he replied between coughs.
“Okay. When we return to the Outer Sect, I want you both to spread rumors that Li Ping fell into a treasure cave.” Gu Li instructed his two subordinates.
“Got it boss.” Hei Yu lazily nodded along.
“Why would you-“ Fu Cao began to question Gu Li’s motives, only to quickly shut up after receiving another elbow from Hei Yu. “I mean, uh, got it boss!”
“No need for that Hei Yu. Moving forward, if you two have any questions, feel free to ask. As a magnanimous Senior Brother, it’s my duty to look out for you.” Gu Li adopted a righteous pose, and did his best to speak with sincerity.
Hei Yu rolled his eyes, and took a puff on his pipe, maintaining his silence.
“Wow, really Senior Brother Gu?! Then, why aren’t you pursuing Miss Tsang anymore? Won’t her Yang Sucking Art increase your cultivation?!” Fu Cao’s chubby face shook in excitement.
Gu Li’s face went blank. That’s right, he was part of the Five Joys Sect. An Unorthodox institution that preached the Dao’s of Debauchery, Inebriation, Gambling, Dreams, and Music.
Of course there would be a Female Lead type character waiting back at the sect!
No wait, given how debauchery was a core theme of this sect, that meant…that meant that Li Ping would probably meet an ageless Grandma or injured sexy fox waifu down in that ravine!
Gu Li would be willing to wager his left nut that there was a waifu down there waiting for Li Ping! Then, when he broke free, she would help him form some super harem!
In the face of Gu Li’s solemn silence, Fu Cao amped himself up, and asked another question.
“If, if you don’t want her, can I have her?” Fu Cao licked his lips in desire.
“Idiot, didn’t we just discuss this? Li Ping isn’t dead.”
“Not only that, given your wei-” Eying the short, greasy man up and down, Gu Li pulled his punches “Given your cultivation level, Miss Tsang would hardly be interested in you!”
[Mission Complete: +5 CP] A system notification flashed in the corner of Gu Li’s vision before disappearing.
Fu Cao’s face was crestfallen in defeat.
“Ahem, you’ll get there one day Junior Brother Fu. There are many woman out there. It’s rare, but I’ve seen men with your circumstances romancing 10/10 beautiful woman.”
“You have!?” Fu Cao looked up from his depression.
“Sure I have. In any case, let’s finish the Sect mission!” Gu Li clapped his hands.
“Hei Yu, where are we headed?” Gu Li looked to the lanky young man.
Reaching into a pouch, Hei Yu pulled out a scroll. “We’re at the entrance of Dark Desire Gorge, if we travel south-west along the road for another 20 miles, we’ll reach Dark Desire Village.”
“And let me guess, the road is named Dark Desire Road, and the surrounding path is named Dark Desire Hills?” Gu Li deadpanned.
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Hei Yu took a deep breath. “Yes.”
“Mhm, let’s go over some more things to watch out for while we ride to…Dark Desire Village.” Gu Li coughed into his hand to gather their attention, and began to farm CP.
Setting off on their lizard-ostrich hybrid mounts, the trio galloped toward the village.
----------------------------------------
It was midday by the time they arrived at the village’s outskirts. Gu Li was wrapping up another dose of “wisdom” to be shared with his subordinates.
“And that’s why, even if we defeat an enemy, we must stab them in the heart, and cut off the head.” Gu Li, well aware of the bullshit survival techniques in this world, explained the need to confirm kills to Hei Yu and Fu Cao.
“Senior Brother is wise.” Fu Cao was quick to smile.
“Yes Senior Brother.” Hei Yu tiredly agreed.
[Mission Complete: +5 CP] [Mission Complete: +5 CP] [Mission Complete: +5 CP] Three system notifications blinked in Gu Li’s eye.
Satisfied after finishing his monologue, Gu Li checked the system interface. Gu Li smiled at what he saw. His quest to impart knowledge was capped, and so was the praise received by a junior. He had earned 100CP.
Given that he was in a Xianxia world, Gu Li knew he had to improve his strength ASAP. Of all his skills to improve, and items he could purchase, one stood out to him above all.
Observing the system, Gu Li decided to focus on one of his cultivation manuals, the “Devils Palm.” The technique showed a 35% next to it. Clicking on the tab, Gu Li saw a (+) next to the percentage point.
Tapping on the (+), the number increased to 36%. At the same time, 10CP disappeared. A screen popped that said “okay” and “cancel.”
Tapping on “okay,” Gu Li waited for something to happen. Deciding to throw out a palm strike, Gu Li pushed his hand into the air. Minute amounts of red-black energy coated his palm on the edges near the index finger, and pinky. A small blast of wind was generated by his palm, startling a group of birds into the air.
Gu Li frowned. He didn’t feel any different. Perhaps he would have to go all in. Afterall, who could tell the difference in 1%?
Dumping his remaining CP into Devils Palms, Gu Li upped his skill to 45%.
Repeating the same move, Gu Li thrust his hand forward. This time, the minute amount of red-black energy coated his index finger. The force generated by his palm was now noticeably more powerful.
“Congratulations for achieving this minor breakthrough, Senior Brother!” Fu Cao praised.
“Alright, that’s enough for the day.” Gu Li nodded at the short man.
Gu Li didn’t mind being praised by his friends or peers every once in a while, but the constant boot licking of Fu Cao was starting to drive Gu Li insane. Now that his daily quest was capped out, the less he had to hear of Fu Cao’s empty flattery, the better.
Uncorking a bottle from the saddle of his lizard-ostrich hybrid, Gu Li happily took a long swig. After refreshing his chapped lips, and dry mouth, Gu Li looked into improving his skills.
After an hour of travel, they had finally arrived at Dark Desire Village.
Riding into the village, the scenery was like that of any ancient Chinese farming community. Farmers in straw hats were knee deep in water planting rice. People in straw clothes, and dirty attire went about carrying stacks of produce on the main street. Some were doing laundry, others herding animals.
This world was different from Earth in one major regard. Old men, and old grannies could be seen carrying large sacks double or triple their size. Even though they were only in the First Realm of cultivation, their strength easily rivaled or surpassed that of a pack animal.
As they rode into town, they passed by fields of poppies, and tobacco farms. The Five Joys Sect had control of this area, and crops such as these were what the peasant farmers paid in taxes.
Out of the corner of his eye, Gu Li saw Hei Yu lick his lips when they passed by the tobacco fields.
“You know nothing good comes from stealing from the sect.” Gu Li admonished.
“You’ll find no trouble from me.” Hei Yu met Gu Li’s eye, and nodded.
Nodding in return, Gu Li decided he would keep his eye on his Junior Brother. In Xianxia worlds, words were cheap. Actions defined a man.
It wasn’t to uncommon for something like a man to slaughter his entire family for an advancement in power. Besides, this wasn’t average, ordinary tobacco like on Earth. No, it contained spiritual power, the energy that would help advance Hei Yu’s cultivation. As the leader of this team, Gu Li didn’t want to face punishment because of his subordinates fuck ups.
“Okay, as I said before, we won’t split up. Let’s go to the inn together, and ask around for clues.” Gu Li lead the way toward the center of the small village.
The only three-story building in town was a short minute ride for the trio.
Dismounting from his lizard-ostrich hybrid, a beast he had come learn was called a “Jioroc,” Gu Li entered the inn.
Gu Li unfurled a sketch of their target, and prepared a couple spirit stones in his hand to exchange for information.
Since it was midday, the inn was rather desolate. The only notable occupants were a single noisy table with a crowd of men. The object of their affection was an attractive young woman. Her hair was pink, and her exposed thighs sent the men salivating.
“Miss Ji, Miss Ji look at this!”
“Idiot, Miss Ji ignore him!”
Gu Li couldn’t help but take a glance at the commotion. Sitting there at the table surrounded by the men was their target. Ji Yin, former Five Joy’s Outer Sect Disciple, she was accused of stealing five fellow sect mates members, and draining them to death.
Ordinarily, this wouldn’t be cause for death. If she had paid a fine to the sect, and received a punishment everything would be resolved. The Five Joys Sect was an Unorthodox faction after all, murder amongst fellow disciples wasn’t all to uncommon. However, she had killed the son of an Outer Sect Elder. For that, she had to die.
Rolling up the portrait, and pocketing his spirit stones, Gu Li glanced at Hei Yu and Fu Cao. Hei Yu slowly took in a deep breath, and nodded in readiness. Fu Cao however, tilted his head to the side in confusion.
Gu Li’s cheek twitched in frustration.
Deciding to act on the element of surprise, Gu Li gathered his ki, and threw out his hand [Light Ball].
An intensely bright white light shot out toward the crowd of fawning men.
“Gah!”
“Protect Miss Ji!”
The men fell into a state of shock. Two of them drew rusty swords, and swung blindly at Gu Li.
Rushing forward, Gu Li met the blades with his Devils Palm. Red-black ki shattered the blades, then crunched against the two resisting men’s chins. A loud crunch resounded in the inn’s hall, the two men had their heads twisted 180 degrees.
Hei Yu took this moment to run at the still stunned men. Exhaling his deep breath of smoke, Hei Yu directed the breath into one mans mouth. The groupie fell over, his skin began to turn black and necrotic.
One man who recovered attempted to shank Hei Yu from behind. Only for Hei Yu to quickly spin around, and slash across his throat with his iron claw.
Fu Cao blinked his eyes in a daze. He hurriedly flipped his coin. When it came up tails, he lost the color in his face, and ran to the door. A moment later, a flying sword cleaved down where he stood, chopping the floorboards in half.
Right when Gu Li’s palm was about to collide with Ji Yin’s chest, a flying sword flew out, and blocked his strike.
“Foul demon! How dare you lay a hand on Fairy Ji!” A man in white robes jumped down from the second floor of the inn.
The flying sword then maneuvered around Gu Li’s palm, and thrust at his neck.
Gu Li’s heart was beating a million miles a minute at this quick movement. He barely interposed his palm between his neck, and the tip of the blade. The sword kept pushing forward against his palm, forcing him back.
“Senior Brother, behind you!” Fu Cao cried out.
The second flying sword that had attacked Fu Cao earlier was now racing toward Gu Li’s back.
Gu Li twisted his body sideways, and blocked the blade with his other hand.
“Don’t just stand there. Do something!” Gu Li grit out.
Hei Yu took this moment when everyone was distracted, and appeared behind Ji Yin in a cloud of smoke. In one swift motion, his claw pierced her heart, then he pulled it out, and raked it across the back of her neck.
“Ji Yin!” The sword cultivator shouted in a panic.
One of the swords launched itself at Hei Yu. He tried to block it, but all he did is divert the attack from landing on his heart, to piercing his shoulder instead.
Seeing this scene, Fu Cao bit his lip. “I’m calling it, 3 Heads!” The chubby man then flipped his coin three times in a row.
“Head.”
“Heads!”
“Come on…HEADS!”
At Fu Cao’s final shout, a dense, otherworldly aura surrounded him. His body expanded three times in size. The fat retracted, and was covered in a dense layer of muscle.
“Die!” Gripping the mace in hand, Fu Cao dashed at the sword cultivator.
His movement was almost instantaneous, in what seemed like a second, Fu Cao had arrived in front of his opponent. Fu Cao’s mace crashed downward towards the white robed sword cultivator.
The sword cultivator dodged just in time. Where Fu Cao had struck, a small crater was formed. Wood chips flew into the air, and the inn began to teeter from the impact.
In the dust caused by the inns crumbling infrastructure, the sword that was occupying Gu Li suddenly retreated, and pierced Fu Cao in the back.
“Die! Die! Die!” Fu Cao ignored the searing pain, and smashed the ground around the sword cultivator repeatedly.
However, it was to no avail. In the span of a couple seconds, Fu Cao’s large, muscular body was full of cuts. He fell to the ground spent out of his energy. Meanwhile, the white robed cultivator was panting from all the energy he had used up dodging, and in his attacks.
Suddenly freed up, Gu Li ran at the team’s enemy. Two swords flew out to meet him.
[Illusory Palm] Six floating palms made out of red-black ki spawned around Gu Li, and launched themselves at the sword cultivator.
“Childs play.” The white robed man smirked as his twin swords easily eviscerated the ki attack.
However, his eyes widened in surprise when a palm imprint struck him in the chest. Blood bubbled out of his mouth, and a pair of his ribs cracked. The majority of ki palms were red-black in color, however, mixed in with the highly visible palms were a couple of lightly shaded ki attacks. The strike was so light, it almost appeared invisible.
Gu Li quickly capitalized on this injury, and blitzed the now weakened opponent.
He attempted to block, but Gu Li effortlessly side stepped the now sluggish swords.
Reaching forward, Gu Li crushed his windpipe, then shattered his heart.
Taking a deep breath, Gu Li quickly assessed the scene. They killed the target, five goons were killed, and his two subordinates were still breathing.
Wiping the sweat from his forehead, and rubbing his damp palms onto his red-black robes, Gu Li sighed in relief. The strong stench of blood, and spilled organs made him gag in disgust.
However, he knew he had to stand strong, this encounter was very tame for cultivation standards. He would face many more trials and tribulations moving forward on the path to immortality.
All in all, not the worst outcome for his first day in a Xianxia world.