S11, Mourning

It was the day after the incident with the dungeon dogs. All practical lessons had been suspended and none of the trainees were heading into the dungeon. Everyone had decided to take the day off.

After breakfast Uncle Ather had talked about the death of the trainee and had given us a short speech about being careful inside the dungeon.

Now I was wandering the town’s streets alone. I had always gone into the forest when I needed to sort my thoughts, but these alleys were equally deserted.

Yesterday had been my first time witnessing a person die. It was different from seeing the death of an animal, I had gotten accustomed to that long ago. I wondered if I would also get used to watch the life of a human banish.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about what had happened, that boy was a stranger to me. If it had been one of my new companions I would be grieving. I had only known them for less than a month but I thought we had gotten quite close.

To tell the truth I wasn’t certain about that. I had never had close friends like them back in the mountains. The nearest kids my age lived a few hours away from our hut. I could only play with them some times when my parents had to visit the village for some reason.

In hindsight my life in the mountains had been rather lonely. When I was young I would stay with Mother most the time, watching her do housework, repair traps and tend to the few crop we could grow during the warm months. Once I grew up she and Father began teaching me many different things.

Mother had taught me to read, how to make traps and how to skin and dismantle a prey. She would also tell me tales about the lives of people in other places. How they cultivated the soil and grew animals for a living.

Father had taught me to hunt, how to ambush a beast and how to handle weapons. The sword, the spear and the bow, I had learned all of them from him. He had also showed me the basics of a few others. He would tell me stories at night, about adventurers, nobles and magical beasts. His tales were always a lot more flashy than Mother’s.

Then, after being twelve years old, they would sometimes let me handle the haggling with the town’s merchants. We sold pelts and meat and bought grain, salt and other necessities.

While walking aimlessly I arrived before the guild’s main building. I decided to go inside and took a look at the tasks on the bulletin board.

They were the same as always. Hunting rats for a copper, bringing ground reptids, killing the lesser drake. No one had accepted the mission to deliver five varans skins yet.

‘That one should be doable. We should try it once they let us in the deeper parts of the dungeon.’

Varans were reptilian monsters, they were quite big, but not very agile, and they normally acted alone. I had trapped a few of them in the mountains, but had never fought one head on.

I remembered we didn’t get to sell the lizards we had caught yesterday. They had been abandoned in the corridors, the rats had probably eaten them already.

“Welcome trainee, do you need something?” A voice surprised me.

It was Anne, the guild’s receptionist. Her light brown hair was tied in a short braid and wrapped in a light blue cloth. Today she didn’t have that overwhelming air about her. She hadn’t even said her usual phrase.

“Hello, Miss Anne, no. I was just taking a look.” I replied casually.

“Are you already planing your next hunt?” She asked. Her tone was the same as always, but somehow her expression wasn’t as cheerful as usual.

“We haven’t decided on anything yet.” I replied looking back at the bulletin board.

“You should take things slowly, I heard it was your group that saved those adventurers yesterday.” This time her tone carried a tinge of sympathy.

‘We didn’t save them all.’ That though had been hunting me since yesterday. I didn’t feel sadness, only guilt.

“We just happened to find their distress signals.” I said casually, wanting to dismiss the topic as soon as possible.

“Even so, you were really courageous, most novices would have chosen to alert the instructors instead.” Miss Anne tried to cheer me up.

“It wasn’t much, we simply determined that the situation was too urgent and that we could deal with the problem by ourselves.” I talked in a casual tone but it hurt to talk about this topic.

“…” Miss Anne fell silent and showed a troubled expression.

“Simon!” Uncle Ather called from the first floor gallery on top of the stairs. “Come here, we need to talk.” He beckoned me.

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I had never been to the second floor of the guild.

“Let’s go to my office,” Uncle Atherol said as I reached the top of the stairs.

He guided me to a small room in the back of the building. There was a large desk in the middle of the room, a window lit it from the side. Behind the desk there was a sturdy looking chair. Most of the rear wall was covered by a big bookshelf with doors on its bottom half, it shelves held a variety of trophies taken from dungeon monsters. In other circumstances I would have asked to take a look at them.

I sat in one of the two chairs in front of the desk. Meanwhile my uncle tinkered with a lamp on his desk to brighten the room.

“How are you doing?” He asked casually, sitting down as well.

“I’m fine.” I replied curtly. I didn’t want to have this conversation right now.

Uncle Ather scrutinized my face. “You don’t look fine to me. I know yesterday’s incident is still on your mind, it’s understandable.” He said with a serious look.

“No, it’s just… It was my first time seeing a person die.” I tried to explain how I was feeling.

Uncle Ather sighted and closed his eyes before talking. “An adventurer’s life is always ridden with danger, if you continue down this path you will face even more threatening situations in the future. You may even lose some of your own companions, no one can prepare you for that.” His expression shifted for an instant. “If you want a more peaceful lifestyle you can choose to go home, Averill won’t reproach you, nor will I.” He looked into my eyes, paying attention to my reaction.

Father had sent me here, I didn’t know if this was meant to be another one of his lessons or if he wanted me to make my own choices. Whatever the case I didn’t want to go back.

‘Going back now wouldn’t be different from fleeing away.’

“I wont go back, I will complete the training period and earn my iron plate.” I stated with determination.

“Alright, but remember, you can always tell me if you change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

“Good, now tell me what you think about what happened yesterday.” Uncle Ather said with his gaze still fixed on me.

I reminisced about the previous day’s incident. “… We did our best, but it wasn’t enough.” I lowered my face, ridden by guilt and grief.

“From what I heard, it was already too late for that boy when you arrived. Not even I could have done something.” Uncle Ather reassured me.

“We took too much time discussing about what to do.” I grimaced.

“It was the correct choice, you can’t rush into danger without pondering your options.”

“If I were stronger we would have taken that decision faster.” I couldn’t help but raise my voice towards the end.

Uncle Ather sighted again and his expression softened. “It’s too soon for you to be talking about strength. When I began working as an adventurer I was almost twenty years old. I was confident in my abilities. I thought I was more than ready to face anything the dungeon could throw at me. I ended up making a lot of mistakes, and was humbled down.”

I kept quiet for a long while, digesting Uncle Ather’s words and trying to calm myself down. “I see,” I finally replied in a faint tone. After my answer the room fell silent once again. I raised my face and gazed at Uncle Ather, he was looking my way with an absent expression.

‘He may be reminiscing. Things must have been hard back then.’ When Uncle Ather visited us in the mountains he would always tell me stories from his adventuring days, but most of them were tales from his later years. He and Father rarely mentioned they earlier adventures. I knew they had been part of the same group before Father decided to become a hunter.

“I would like to hear that story,” I said to break the silence.

Uncle Ather’s gaze focused and he laughed dryly. “Maybe another day. Anyway, what I want you to understand is that you are human, you aren’t almighty. Sometimes you can only withdraw while taking care of your own life. As long as you do your best you should have no regrets. Don’t push yourself to do the impossible. I sacrificed a lot to learn that lesson.” He spoke the last sentence with a sour expression.

I could feel the sentiment in Uncle’s words. They were the similar to the ones Father used during many of our hunting lessons. “If the situation gets too dire don’t hesitate to back off. You can’t always catch your prey, but you should reflect on those failures and improve yourself,” he would say.

“I will do better next time.” I stated. “Is there someone who can teach me how to take care of specific monsters?” I was determined to improve myself.

Uncle Ather mused for moment before answering. “Hmm, each adventurer, each group, has its own style. What may work for some may be a disaster for others. It’s better to take advice from several people and apply them your own way.”

‘Then I should ask all the instructors for tips.’

“It’s also important to gather information about the local conditions and monsters,” Uncle Ather continued. “For example, the dungeon dogs here in Algus are quite dangerous even for common iron plate adventurers. For some reason the spawners in the corridors only give birth to common dungeon rats. All the dogs in there have been promoted from feral rats. That makes them a lot more cunning than normal ones. Elsewhere they would be mostly newborn monsters that are a lot easier to deal with.”

“I see, I have a lot of things to do.” My knowledge was really lacking. I had thought I would have problems handling monsters since I had hunted similar beasts in the mountains.

“You have time, your training period has just started. By the way, did Averill teach you about mana circulation?”

“He tried to show me how to handle mana, but I was unable to sense it.” Father had been determined to teach it to me. By wielding mana one could strengthen their movements. It was the most basic form of mana handling, but also one that was difficult to master. Top warriors could reinforce their every action with it, giving them superhuman strength and speed. Mages also manipulated mana, but to my understanding they mainly focused on conferring it to catalyst and other objects.

I had begun the training to feel mana in earnest, but as the months passed without any progress both Father and I had grown frustrated. In the end, Mother had talked us out of it.

“It would be a miracle if you were able to learn it in the middle of the mountains.” Uncle Ather said in a vehement tone. “To begin with, you need the right resources. Beginners would normally use palemoss potions to feel it. A trained mage could inject his own power in your body, but that method is risky without the right knowledge. There are also mana ponds, but the council of mages has all of them under strict supervision. Only their best apprentices have the chance to go near one.”

Palemoss, that was also one of the request in the bulletin board. They offered a tiny silver for one. Those potions wouldn’t be cheap, but it was the only method I could use. The only magician I knew was Alchemist Luelle and I couldn’t picture me asking her that favor.

“Palemoss potions can be purchased from the guild. Currently there are none in stock, but I will get some for you,” Uncle Ather assured me.

“Oh, now that I remember, Alchemist Luelle told me to remind you about the assistant she asked for.” The busy alchemist had scolded me last time for forgetting about it.

Uncle Ather winced. “Ugh, I guess I will have to find someone, even if they aren’t an official alchemist. We don’t have the budget to hire another one. Luelle will have to settle for it.”

Uncle Ather took a small sheet of paper from a drawer, written on it was a messy list of things. With a quill Uncle noted ‘Luelle, palemoss and assistant’ at the end. “I hope I helped you to clear your mind a bit,” he continued after putting the note back. “I have someone else to attend to right now, but if you need to talk come see me whenever you want. I know I’m a little busy at times, but I can at least spare a few moments for you.”

“Alright, thank you Uncle Ather, I will come back if I ever need something.” I said in a slightly cheerful tone. After saying goodbye I left the small office and walked towards the reception.

It was about time I wrote another letter to my parents, I thought. I would tell them about my companions and how I was doing. ‘Maybe I should spare them details of this incident.’ I didn’t want to worry them.

“Hello,” a trainee called me when I arrived in the guild hall. He was one of the adventurers we had helped yesterday. Seeing him my mood soured once again.

“Hello…” I hesitated. I didn’t remember his name.

“I’m Pyt, Pyt of Benslinn,” the boy said with a sad smile. “I wanted to thank you for what you did yesterday.”

I forced myself to keep a straight expression. “It was nothing.” I answered. I didn’t know what else to tell him.

“No, it was… We owe you our lives, I don’t know what my comrades will do, but I will always remember what you did.” The young adventurer bowed to me and headed up the stairs before I could reply.