The events afterward blurred together. I remember staring down at my hands still curled around the knife’s hilt, heat and cold still washing over me in feverish waves, while blood pooled around the blade in Iela’s neck. I watched until the life went out of the woman’s eyes. I remember kneeling there until Talan, shivering and blue-lipped, led me out of the alley, frost still tinging the ugly purple bruises on his arms.

We walked from the alley as dawn began to light the day. The intense cold that had seized me faded, but another weakness still lingered. My hands were wet. I knew I shouldn’t look down as the Guilder led me away, but I couldn’t help it, and my gaze inexorably fell to them.

Blood. I’d never had so much blood on me, had barely seen so much blood at once. Only once at the shipyard where my father worked, when a mast collapsed on a man and crushed his chest. But this blood I had spilled. Her blood. I’d killed her. And we’d left her body in the alley for someone else to discover, just as the city guards had discovered Thero.

But no. That wasn’t the same. She had killed Thero for insane, incomprehensible reasons, while I had killed to save myself and Talan. I closed my eyes and wished I could believe it was so simple.

Even though she would have killed me and my family, and likely Talan, Nomusa, and Xaron as well. Even though she had murdered Thero, and had likely murdered many more. It still broke some part of me that I had taken her life away. In my own eyes at least, it didn’t make me any less of a murderer.

Talan bent his head close. “Breathe,” he told me. I tried to obey, gulping in long, deep breaths. But even as the guilt wracked me worse than the pain in my limbs, my hands shaking, my teeth chattering, I knew I would survive this. Perhaps it would take me a while to get over it, to stop seeing the red on my hands, but eventually, the color would wash away. Perhaps that was what scared me most, that forgetting that would inevitably come, and obscure my ugly deeds even from myself.

In the way the Guilder held me, unflinching and steady, I sensed I wasn’t alone in my guilt. That at some point in the past, he, too, had felt as I did now. I wondered again about that shadowed past of his. It wasn’t exactly a comforting realization, but somehow, it made a difference.

After I had calmed, I pushed away from Talan and walked unsteadily on my own. “We must hurry,” I said faintly. “We can’t be seen like this.”

Talan nodded. “I have a place nearby I can change at. But I can return you to your tower.”

I considered him for a moment. How long had the Guilder watched us before he stepped out from the shadows? Somehow, I couldn’t summon up the unease I knew I should feel at that. The unease I did feel was that it felt comforting instead. So he was a Guilder, and a feral warden. None of that matter. When I had been in danger, he had come and saved me.

“Come with me,” I said. Reaching out, I took his bloody hand in mine. And after a moment’s hesitation, he nodded and let me lead him along the street and back to Canopy.

* * *

The reunion in Canopy went as well as could be expected. Xaron and Nomusa were in a panic and rushed to the door as soon as I knocked. I couldn’t help but notice the red mark I left on the wood. As soon as it opened, Xaron jumped to conclusions and nearly started a fight with Talan then and there, and I was only just able to talk him out of it.

Once we’d both cleaned up and wore new clothes — Talan looking comical in one of Xaron’s bright tunics — they sat me down on the divan and managed to pry the tale out of me. Both were wide-eyed by the end of it.

“Airene,” Nomusa said in a hushed voice, her hand squeezing mine.

Xaron looked stricken as he stood before the bay window. “I can’t believe we weren’t there,” he muttered. He cast a sulky look over at the Guilder, who leaned next to the balcony door, his head bowed. Yet I thought I detected the hint of a smile at my friend’s look.

I shook my head. “I’ll be okay,” I said, my voice breaking as I said it. Nomusa folded me into her arms anew.

A little while later, though, I pushed away again. “I really will be,” I told my companions. “I just need some time to think things through.”

The rest of that day, I allowed my friends to comfort me, and give me food and water, with promises of coffee at Zipho’s cafe later. Even as a quiet resolution for a further hunt formed in the back of my mind, I let myself relax. I thought Thero would have liked that. He’d always loved having a good time, always had a smile on his face. I closed my eyes and, for the first time in my living memory, felt hope for someday understanding who had done this to him. And for the first time in a long time since his death, the guilt eased a bit.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

* * *

Before he left Canopy, Talan informed me that before he had come to my aid, he had alerted a fellow Guilder of Iela’s intentions, and that they would have recovered the body. I couldn’t help but wonder what they’d do with it. Burn it? Throw it out to sea? Or leave it in some deep, dark tunnel below the city? I didn’t have the nerve to ask.

Instead, I turned the conversation to the apothecary. “Will Eazal have gotten away?”

Talan shrugged. “It’s likely, at least for the moment. But the Underguild has an extensive network. We’ll catch him before he can go anywhere.”

I wondered when I’d see Talan next. True, it seemed I had a new working relationship with the Underguild, one which I expected I’d need to find out who this powerful, mysterious man was behind Iela and her operations. But if I was to avoid their business, that didn’t exactly indicate I’d be working often with a Guilder. “I think I owe you a thank you.”

A softness settled over his expression unlike anything I'd seen him wear yet. “You don’t owe me anything,” he said quietly.

My heartbeat sounded louder in my ears. “Thank you all the same.”

I don't know who looked away first, but the moment passed as our gazes broke. Talan looked down the stairs of my tower, then leaned conspiratorially forward. “If you should ever need me again,” he said in a low voice, “go to the tavern the Ignorant Ignoble in Bazaar, and ask the barkeeper for ‘a chalice of unrequited intoxication.’”

I nodded. It was a curious passphrase, but I’d heard stranger. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He leaned back once more, his usual smile returning. “And even if you don’t need me…”

I cocked an eyebrow. “Don’t push your luck.”

Talan bowed sarcastically. “Take care of yourself, my Finch,” he said. Then he slipped down the stairs without a backward glance.

I stood there a moment, thinking again of the passphrase he’d given me. I knew myself well enough that I wouldn’t call after him unless I did need him for information or a job. But I hoped it wouldn’t be long.

* * *

The next day, Maesos sent a bird begging for me to visit, so us three Finches stopped by his glass shop. As soon as I’d entered, he folded me into his arms. “Oh, Airene,” he said, and for a time, he just held me. I didn’t even mind the ash he spread all over my clothes.

When I managed to gently pry him away, he looked at me with watery eyes. “Your friends told me everything. I feel responsible,” he admitted. “I set you onto this hunt. If I hadn’t mentioned anything—”

“Maesos,” I said severely. “None of this is your fault. Xaron, Nomusa, and I knew what we were getting ourselves into.” I took a deep breath. “And if you ever hear anything like this again, I want you to tell us first thing. Okay?”

He shook his head with a look of amazement. “You’re one strong girl.” The glass blower cleared his throat. “I’m proud of you, little Finch.”

“Stop that, Maesos. You’ll embarrass her,” Xaron observed with a smirk.

My old friend’s face grew serious. “I have heard of strains of pyrkin that might help against those like that silver-haired woman,” he said in a low voice. “I promise you, Airene, I will do my best to find them if they exist. And if you ever need them…”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” I said, hoping it was true. “But thank you, Maesos. Truly.”

Soon after, we said our farewells to the glass smith, then set out for another day of leisure around the city that my friends had forced on me. I supposed there were worse fates to bear.

* * *

When we returned that evening, I found two messages waiting for me.

The first was from a hand I didn’t recognize, though I knew the name signed on it from Xaron’s recent house-break. Kako, Feiyan’s righthand honor.

Airene of Port,

My mistress has come to the understanding that you recently paid a visit to her estate, and learned something of her business dealings that puts her in a compromising light. I trust this information will remain undisclosed. For if it is revealed, I can assure you, one of your companions will be unable to infiltrate manors with their remarkable gifts any longer.

My heart was in my throat as I read it a second time. She knew. Somehow, Feiyan knew either Nomusa or Xaron was a feral warden. Perhaps she had that much confidence in her compound security. Or perhaps she’d had reports from other sources. I pushed away doubts of Talan immediately; after what we’d been through, I doubted he would betray us. But the mystery didn’t change one thing: Feiyan was even less a woman that we wanted to cross.

The second finch was from someone I’d been looking forward to hearing from, yet it was no more pleasant. The message inside was simple: The apothecary fled the city. Little I can do now, but I’ll still try. I am sorry. Talan hadn’t signed it, but I knew it was him all the same.

I slumped against the railing and looked out over the drizzling city. Eazal had been my main hope for finding out who Iela’s master was, yet I hadn’t even tried looking for him myself, but instead indulged in two full days of leisure. Now, with Feiyan making threats against my accomplices, I had only the Underguild as a lead. But if Talan had not already told me anything, I had little confidence that would bear fruit.

I should have felt angry at the apothecary, or at least at myself, but I was too empty for rage at the moment. I hoped he had saved his family, if he had ever had family threatened in the first place. But I hoped even more that one day, he would think himself safe to return.

I would be waiting.