Chapter 21 : will you leave me if I say I don't love you ?

The whole arena was silence, no one knew what to say right now . Everyone looked kai with resentment while looked at lin ying with sympathy.

Even sect master felt speechless while elders were left tonguetied .

" this is too much , how can he be so merciless? " the spectators began to comment on kai's threat .

" this man is too ruthless , he has no heart to feel emotions "

" it's like he is , he is incarnation of devil that knows no bound "

" he must be the son of devil , how can he say such a cruel things to her ?"

" I can't, I can't keep listening to him . His words are too painful "

" how heartless he is , doesn't he have even a bit of emotions in his heart? "

On the stage

Kai watched around and asked " what ? This is the truth . Haven't you seen a man killing another man ? A women killing another women ? A man raping an innocent girl ? A women betraying her lover ?family selling their own family ? A brother witnessing his own sister getting raped ? A son watching his mother selling her body with countless mens ? His own father bringing different women in house for sex ? His own lover selling herself just for money and power ? A man killing another man for the first time ? A man eating flesh of another man just to survive ? A man running away from someone with authority and hiding ? A man learning to do dirty works just so he can live ? A man selling body parts of another man for earning money ? A man that killed his own father and mother with his own hand just to satisfy his desire ?

If not than say no , cause I will happily and proudly tell you that I have seen it .

Have you every seen a man violating a women ? Have you ever seen a man killing a group of happy family that had been living their life so happily ? Have you all seen a man massacring the entire family just because they were a sweet and happy family ? "

Kai watched everyone and smiled while licking his lip , he shouted like a mad man "IF NOT THAN SAY SO CAUSE I HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE. Have you ever felt so lonely that you didn't even notice your own shadow leaving you ? Have you ever forced a group of ordinary family to be your family ? Have you ever forced someone else father to be your father ? Someone else mother to be your mother ? Someone else sister to be your sister ? Someone else brother to be your brother ? Have you ever seen a family who had been forced to live like a happy family while accepting someone , a stranger to be part of your family ?

Have you ever dreamt of having kids and holding them in your arms yet you couldn't just because you FUCKING DON'T HAVE ANYONE THAT COULD GIVE BIRTH TO A CHILD TO YOU ? have you ever asked a women you don't know to give birth to a child for you so that you could enjoy a feeling of being a parent , fucking father that would love his child even if you die ?

Have you ever ….ever " slowly his voice began to become hoarse and tears began to fall from his eyes yet no one could see him crying because of his mask .

" Have you.. have you ever felt like you are missing your father's love and mother's warmth ? Have you every thought about how warm father's scolding would feel like ? Have you ever felt how warm your mother's embrace feels like ? Have you ever felt like how enjoyable it would be to fight with your wife day and night ? Have you ever felt like how proud it would feel when you satisfy your children needs ?

Have you ? Have you ? I FUCKING ASKED ALL OF YOU , HAVE YOU OR NOT ?" kai's scream was like a primordial monster roaring and asking them with full of absolute authority.

No one had answer to his questions.

Kai began to laugh and laugh " have you ever felt so powerless that even a touch of wind could kill you ? Have you ever felt like an empty shell from the inside ? Have you ever dreamt of having a family ?

IF I WANT A FAMILY BY LOVING OR BY FORCING THAN WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MATTERS TO YOU ALL ? JUST SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH AND SIT DOWN WITH YOUR LEG CROSS ."

Kai right eye was black and had crimson pupil. Like ken kaneki in tokyo ghoul, his right eye was not normal .

Watching him getting furious , for some strange reason no one could lift their heads ,maybe in shame and guilty.

Kai watched everyone and smirked. He turned around to face lin ying " so my girl , get ready to be my wife and give me a child . Haha… "

Lin ying face was so red in anger that it seem like volcano was about to explode.

"You—" she couldn't utter a single words . Kai ignored her and watched wang qi and told him " get ready , once the match begins , I will teach you the rules of life . The survival "

Kai turned around and left , there was still 30 minutes left for match to begin .

When kai walked to participant seat , he sat there crosslegged and watched the arena. Suddenly he felt someone sitting beside him on the seat . He turned and saw suxin sitting on the seat that was on his right side .

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She was covered in fair green dress , like bundle of flowers , her skirt was round and spiral . She looked like masterpiece that heaven have crafted . Kai couldn't feel tired even when he had seen her beauty many times.

Kai watched her and asked " what happened ? Why are you here ?"

" why ? Can't I be here ? Or don't you want me to be here ?" She looked angry as she gave a punch on kai's chest .

" no , no , having beauty by my side is more than I can ask " he replied with a gentle smile but sadly suxin couldn't see it.

Suxin asked in a serious way " so what was that all about just now ? "

Kai looked at the sky and pounder for a moment and asked " what if I tell you that was my story ? Will you believe me ?" He looked at suxin and waited for her to reply .

Suxin kept on looking at his right eye until she avoided his gaze and watched the arena . She said without expression " don't know ?"

Kai just smiled to her response . He looked at her beautiful face and asked " what if I tell you that I want you to give birth to my child but I wouldn't love you ? I wouldn't love you but still take care of you . I wouldn't love you yet be there for you in every situation, be it happiness or sadness . I wouldn't love you yet be the first person to even give life for you ? Will you still stay with me even if don't love you ? Will you leave me if I say I don't love you ?"

Suxin watched him and both watched each others for a while . Suxin didn't replied to him.

Both of them watched the sky and didn't said even a single words . But finally the silence was broken by suxin " you know what, when I was a child , I used to dream of marrying a prince charming. I grew to become a young maiden , I dreamt of a brave and powerful immortal to love me and take me away "

There she stopped and looked at kai and kicked kai's foot and said " but I was violated by a tyrant that didn't even cared about my feeling . I hate him till my heart bleeds . I can't forgave him for my whole life "

Then she didn't said anything. Kai also didn't said anything. The time flew and it passed like wind . Soon the final match was about to begin.

" everyone present here , cultivators and mortals , nobles and commoners, I welcome you to the final round of kun peng sect geniuses tournament. Today the last day match is gonna be held between two monsters. One is known as demonic genius while another is known as celestial.

This two shinning stars shall fight each others in the battle arena , like you all can see there are many types of weapons on the stage , the competitors can use them when they are fighting each others. The time limit shall be 30 minutes, within 30 minutes, they have to end the match. But even if after the 30 minutes they survived than it would be decided by who is the last man standing ?

So let us Welcome the demonic genius, wang qi" the announcer announced to everyone.

Wang qi wearing his his long white overcoat and white pant , his long hairs freely fluttering in the air leaped in the sky and landed on the stage . He picked up a sword and stood like a master .

" now let us Welcome the one of the finalist also known as celestial for his unparalleled beauty and unworldly charm that would even shame the creation, kai " the announcer announced once again for everyone.

Kai was sitting on the seat with suxin while watching the sky .

Kai sighed and stood up , he , one last time looked at suxin and turned around . He didn't watched her second time , suxin kept on watching his back that felt lonely and it was like this back was yearning for something .

Kai was slowly walking toward the stage while looking straight. Suddenly something warm felt on his back , his mind was in chaos . He didn't dare to look behind as if he was afraid that it may not be real or was only his imagination or delusion.

Suxin embraced his back while she softly told kai " your back is lonely , yearning for someone to reach you . Just ask for my hand , I shall reach them for you . Your shadow feels cold , let me warm it . Your eyes seem unyielding , hiding the pain and sorrow. Let my smile fill them , warm and gentle world would exist then . Your heart seem crying, let me wipe the tears . Never ever say you love me , I may believe it , and someday I may get shattered. Say that you care for me , I feel warm , say that you will reach for me even in deepest abyss of hell.

I shall lend you my shoulder just lean your head on to it . I shall lend you my heart just place it in your left chest , in return give me your heart . Are you willing to suffer my beating and curses for your whole life ? If so say it . It's not that I am forcing you to say it "

Kai didn't dared to turn around his back . He has never said to anyone but in reality he was just a weak boy lost in darkness . Just helpless boy that had forgotten his home . He tried fighting against world but in actually he was searching for someone to give him salvation.

He was just a lonely child masking his face with a heartless smile .

He was just lost boy searching for his way back home .

He was an abandon child that no one wanted.

He was always crying despite showing his tyrannical nature of unyielding.

He grabbed the soft hand of suxin that was placed on his chest and closed his eyes as he raised his head up. He told her with a sad smile " I just want a family that could love me ,if you are ready to be my family than even if you kill me , I shall smile before dying "

" what if I seal you and never let you die ?"

" I shall take the curse of responsibility, keeping you safe and taking care of my child "

" what is family to you ?"

" for me ? It is only a dream that I have dreamt of from my childhood. I don't know what a family is like ? Before I die , I had always wished for having my own family. I want to at least feel the feelings of having a family. But world can't understand me . I am just asking for a simple thing , a family. Is it that hard for me to have it ? Don't I deserve it ? I had never have one — family "

" why do you force yourself on women ? Can't you be more gentle toward them ?"

" I heard that women prefers their chastity. If I took their purity even if they want to leave me they can't. I will have countless family like that .am I wrong to do it ? One of those family would one day accept me as one of their family. The thing I have been jealous in my life is family. Those that have their own family. "

After listening to his words, suxin was left silence . She would have never thought that inside a man like him who is so unyielding there actually lives a scared child . A child that is yearning for something and that something is very simple . Not wealth , not power , not status or fame but simple things called family .

The crowds were loud so no one were able to hear their conversation.

Suddenly suxin told something that kai didn't dare to even dream in his life . Something that he was afraid of . Something he always wanted but was out of his reach . Something that he yearn for .

Suxin gripped her palms together tightly as she said to him warmly and lovingly " then I shall be your family . Will you be my ?"

This was the most vital and critical point of kai in his life . Every person has their own soft spot and this was his .

Kai turned around and asked " what …. did you say ? say it again " his voice was trembling and was hesitating. He was feeling scared , not excited.

Suxin watched him and said it again " I shall be your family , will you be my ? We could start a family , you , me and the soon to be born child. "

Kai began to smile and his happiness was reaching the sky . He tightly embraced suxin as if he was scared of loosing her .

This was the most beautiful day of his life .