The concept of time works in the same way for everyone.
Whether you say that something was short-lived, or if something felt like an eternity, its influence on everyone would remain the same regardless. The only thing that could set an individual apart was their own perception of time.
And like me, the natural outcast that I was, I had a completely different perception from the rest of my class.
Proof be that, while everyone began to get off their seats while stretching out their stiffened bodies, words along the lines of “fourth period sure was long” or “I almost died of boredom” began to circulate inside, leaving me in the minority who had a different opinion on the matter. Or rather, I was the only one who had a different opinion.
They say that time flies when you’re having fun, and that time feels significantly longer when doing something you dislike. But as far as I remember, ever since third period began, I merely started spacing out in the middle of class, leaving me with only fragments of the lectures from there on.
If I were to go with that thought process, then I guess you could say I have my fair share of fun with trivial things such as staring in blank space. I’ve probably gone past the boundary of time and space and became part of the data integration thought entity if I found that any entertaining. Screw me and my short attention span.
Still, if they keep on complaining about it like that, I might just end up thinking that they spent half the day in the hyperbolic time chamber without me. At least an invite would have been nice. Not that I would go.
As the mood continued to shift with the start of lunch break, I began to fix my things before heading to the school store. And as soon as I finished, I stood from my seat and joined the wave of people heading out. Only, by the time I got out, a familiar face suddenly caught my sight, making her way out of the room next door.
“Ah, Hiraoka,”
“Sensei..”
Standing at the side with a pile of notes in hand, sporting off her usual sleek, blue tracksuit, was Yasuhara-sensei who had just finished class next door, breaking into a smile as our eyes had casually met.
“What’s this, what’s this? Forgot to bring your lunch? Heading to the store by yourself?”
“...Why do I feel like you’re trying to imply something here. I’m pretty sure that’s obvious since I don’t have any friends. Going by myself that is.”
“Hmm..that so.” She readjusted her hold on the notes as she murmured.
“And, well, it’s kind of like that. I don’t really have time to prepare food in the morning, so I always end up buying my food at the store.” I further went on with the topic at hand, only to regret doing so with the look of sensei’s disinterested expression. No, but, you asked me didn’t you? Seriously, stop looking at me with that annoying face...
“Ah, since it seems like we’re headed in the same direction, why not accompany me for a bit? I kind of had something I wanted to talk to you about.” Sensei continued with an optimistic look, her eyes brimming with light as if she had found a good idea.
Having been thrown a suggestion like that, and with the look that sensei had on her, I could more or less tell where this pattern was headed. I’ve had my fair share of experience in this specific field, so I’m a hundred percent sure I know what sensei was implying. No one would use that ‘I want to talk with you’ excuse on me otherwise.
Well, it wasn’t as if I didn’t mind helping out, I did have some time to spare before lunch break ends. And it wasn’t as if I had anything interesting in stored for me at the moment, so helping out was definitely the least of my concerns. Though, with that said, there was one small detail that seemed out of place.
“Sensei, while you were at it, couldn’t you just have asked someone from class D to help out? I’m from a different class you know..”
“Ah, w-well..that’s because,” Sensei looked away in a fluster, completely giving off the impression that she really hasn’t given this much thought. “You could say that I was planning this from the very beginning. Spending time with one of my favorite students that is. Mhmm.”
She gave a nod in attempt to convince me. Only, her excuse didn’t work as I replied with silence, to which she eventually gave in with a resigned sigh.
“Ah, the class rep isn’t around today and the vice had already left before I could even ask for help. There’s still some students lying around but…I’d feel bad if I interrupted them with their lunch. So I’m really left with no other choice here..”
“Oh, I don’t see how that makes me a valid candidate though…”
“You seem like the type who’d pretend to sleep in class while waiting for the break to end, so I was sure you had a couple of minutes to spare.” Sensei tilted her head in question. “Am I mistaken?”
“No, you’re actually somehow frighteningly correct…” Seriously, how did you know how I used to spend my break back in middle school. A stalker? Ami-chan might break your camera you know.
“Mind lending me a hand then?” Sensei asked once more with a troubled smile, to which I gave in with a resigned sigh.
“..I can’t really decline with that kind of logic. It’s seemingly flawless that it somehow scares me.” I took half the pile off of sensei’s hands, another sigh slipped out unconsciously. “Just who’re you supposed to be, L or something?”
“Well, I guess you could say that I have a talent for reading criminal minds like you.”
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“No, I’m pretty sure a criminal wouldn’t help out someone in need. I’m totally a hero here. Seriously a hero.”
“Hmm, maybe. But you better fix those rotten eyes of yours first before you start thinking about those things.” Sensei replied with an inward laugh as she began to start ahead. I followed a couple of paces behind.
The path we were taking was my usual route, passing through the bridge that connects the two buildings. With both our destinations situated at the first building, you could say that nothing was different from my usual routine. Nothing deviated from the usual scene.
Students running down the hall as they headed to places out of my concern, causing the teachers to tell them off with the usual ‘don’t run in the halls’ warning; rustling noises coming from the field, caused by the winds brushing through the pink-dyed leaves of the current season; and casual exchanges from head to head, causing the streak of information to spread like wildfire.
Everything was seriously the same as always.
A never-changing everyday scene refusing to stray from its tracks, as if fulfilling its role in an after-school play.
They say that change is a common thing and I wouldn’t beg to deny that fact. But if change were truly such a common occurrence, then I guess times like these were rare in their own way, ironically enough.
Either way, the sight of this was seriously something I didn’t dislike. It was kind of reassuring to see in a way.
By the time we made a turn before descending the stairs, a familiar-sounding voice suddenly spoke up ahead, causing my train of thought to get cut short.
“By the way, how was the request from the other day?”
I raised my gaze to the origin of that voice, only to see sensei who had been silent up to this point. I answered back in the most casual way possible.
“Oh, the requester seemed to be satisfied with the results.”
“That so,” Sensei took her time before spouting that reply, then further went on with a cheerful tone. “To tell you the truth, I was surprised at how fast you two got things done. I actually thought it might take you two another day or so.”
“That so.” I paused. “Well, I’m even more surprised to know that you knew about the request in the first place.”
“Ah, well, Segawa reported it to me the exact same day.”
Hoh, I guess that makes sense. And here I thought I was actually on to something. I’m really not cut out to be a master detective, am I?
“Well we did take quite some time before we came to a conclusion. I even got home late because of that. So I wouldn’t really call that fast.”
“You really love nitpicking the smallest details don’t you..?” Sensei peeked over her shoulder with a strained smile. “You uncute kid.”
“...I-I’m just laying down the facts here though.” I inadvertently looked away with a gulp.
“Well, frankly speaking, I guess I’m just happy to see Segawa getting along with someone.” Sensei continued with a normal smile, whipping her gaze back to the path ahead. “That girl really has a hard time cooperating with others you see. So seeing her working with someone, other than herself, is kind of reassuring in a way.”
“R-right..”
After hearing what sensei just said, it got me thinking on my own for a bit. I wasn’t too sure if there was something between the two, or if sensei was merely concerned for Segawa as a teacher. But the way she looks out for her was seriously something else in my opinion.
Though, I guess there wasn’t anything wrong with a teacher being worried for a student, especially if it was someone like Segawa. She did seem like the type to be interested in aliens, time travelers, and ESPers after all. So keeping an extra line of defense doesn’t seem too bad of an idea. And I might just be reading too much in-between the lines here.
“Though, if you ask me, I wouldn’t really worry too much. I’m pretty sure she just needs to talk with people more often. Gifted people like her, most of the time, have it easy after all.”
“My my, where’s this modesty coming from all of a sudden?” Sensei jested with a teasing tone. Only, rather than feel amused or annoyed, I was completely left clueless to what she was trying to say.
“Ah..I’m not getting you at all, sensei..”
“Well, I just found it weird to hear that from you.” Sensei replied as she glanced over her shoulder. “You’re also gifted like her after all.”
Having been given an explanation like that, rather than understand what she was trying to point out, I was left more clueless than I was before.
What was with this seemingly vague conversation? Was it eventually going to build up to that pattern where the school would get attacked by some sort of threat, to which my powers were to awaken after being told I had a gift? Please stop trying to push those clichés into reality, I might just get carried away and end up dazzling the stage. Kiraboshi!
“What are you talking about sensei? I’m pretty sure I’m an average student. I’m nowhere near Segawa’s level, grade-wise that is.”
“No, I wasn’t actually talking about grades. What I meant was that…how do I say this. The fact that you’re always alone, is also a gift in a way, is what I’m trying to say, frankly speaking.”
“...No, I’m pretty sure that isn’t what you’d call a gift. It’s more of a curse than a gift.”
“Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it.” Sensei took a short pause before diving into the main topic. “Since you’re always by yourself, there are things that only you can do. Things that can only be done when you aren’t restrained by others’ opinions, when you aren’t pulled down by their expectations. Most people don’t have that kind of freedom. And most likely, they’ll never get the chance to experience that kind of freedom. So, in a way, I think what you have could be considered as a gift.”
“That’s just being overly optimistic if you ask me.”
“Ah, I guess you might be right. But Hiraoka, don’t you think,” Sensei paused as she came to a stop, causing me to follow suit and do the same. “Don’t you think it’s also the same for Segawa?”
I was shot another vague statement right off the bat. Strange enough, it felt as if I had grasped the meaning behind her words, and at the same time, I hadn’t.
Thinking about it on my own wouldn’t make the answer any more apparent. It would only be a waste of time. The only one who had the answer, in the end, was the person standing up ahead.
“And by that you mean.”
“It simply means what it means,” Sensei turned my way with a half-step, a serious look on her face. “Like I said just now, the way you perceive those things are merely subjective. You might have called Segawa’s intelligence as a gift, but it might also be a curse from her point of view. Likewise, you may take your lonesome freedom as some sort of curse, but somewhere, just maybe, someone out there might be yearning for that exact same freedom that you have. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“...I guess.”
I wasn’t able to respond right away. There was a seemingly long pause in between that exchange. Or at least, that’s how it felt to me.
I might have probably been skeptical with what I just heard, that’s why I was searching for some sort of valid retort. But in the end, it was pointless. What sensei had said was certainly correct.
Though, with that said, even though I seemed to have agreed with her point, it wasn’t as if I’d end up living my life with that certain belief. For the most part, it might be true for Segawa, but for someone like me, it was less likely the case. Even though I had freedom that other people might not have, that was merely an excuse that was given to me.
In the end, as long as the notion of loners remained the same, no matter how much freedom I had in my hands, it would only be taken for as nothing but misfortune.
If I were to truly believe what I had was a gift, then that would only equate to me taking one step closer to my downfall. Once you begin to think too high of yourself, once you think of yourself as a cut above the rest, that’s when you lose.
That’s why, no matter how much I’d want to agree with sensei’s belief, sadly, it was an arrogant belief that I can’t fully embrace.
Bothered by the pause that had gotten in between, I decided to fill the gap on my own, driving the conversation in a different direction.
“Where did this come from again, sensei?”
“Ah, I guess I just got bothered when you called Segawa gifted. Because for her, I’m sure it’s a completely different story.” Sensei paused as she cast her gaze to the side, a complex emotion clouded through her eyes. “But, well…that might have been just me with my instincts acting up. I became a teacher to crush other people’s misconceptions after all!”
Sensei continued with a completely different expression, with a bright, grinning smile that somehow seemed to be bashfully bragging, and eyes that lit up with ones determination. I couldn’t help but smile with the sight of that myself.
“What’s with that, that’s one absurd reason you got there sensei.”
“Really? I think it’s pretty reasonable though.”
“No. If you really like verbal arguments that much, then you should have just went with attorney or lawyer instead.”
“Hmm, I guess you have a point. But,” Sensei’s words stopped as she peek through the window, staring into the distance with warm, moist eyes. “It wouldn’t be as fulfilling as being a teacher.”
The way sensei spoke gave hint to her passion. Her point was awfully unreasonable that it gave beauty to her cause.
In truth, the other two jobs might have been a better fit for her. She did seem like the type to never back down on a fight. But regardless, sensei still decided to go with an average-paying job, just because she wanted to make a difference. And as much as I wanted to reply with something witty, I definitely wouldn’t poke fun at something as admirable as that.
As she snapped out of her trance and came back to reality, sensei’s cheeks got flushed as she decided to continue, flustered.
“A-anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that,” Sensei sheepishly coughed to regain her composure, then further went on with a seemingly warm smile. “As people who were given gifts of curses, I want the two of you to look out for each other, I guess.”
An unreasonable request from an unreasonable teacher.
Though, as unreasonable as her request may be, with the current mood, there wasn’t really any space for any form of rejection.
But looking past the surface details, her request from now was no different from before. In the end, they were one of the same, one way or another.
If so, then, I merely had to live life as I would on any other day.