“Dex save.”

The table erupts into complaints, or rather, the players seated at it do so. Usually, furniture doesn’t talk.

“Come on, dude, do I really need to? It’s not even that dangerous.”

“Are you the DM or am I, Jane?”

She grumbles a bit, but doesn’t contradict Lily. “Fine. Let’s see, my bonus, uh, plus one.”

“Kind of low.” A third voice cuts in, coming from none other than Sasha, who sits across from Jane. Probably why he’s so freely throwing shade at her.

“Well, excuse me, not everyone is a dex build.”

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“Your loss.”

“Listen, do you want healing or not?” She frowns at Sasha, only for him to respond with a stuck out tongue.

“Ahem. You’re not the only healer here, also.” Tyler shrugs, after not contributing much at all.

“I don’t know why you all insist on having healing when you just get one-shot anyway.” Lily observes, leading everyone to recall where their previous characters died in various horrible ways.

“I dunno. Just dodge it, guys.” Sasha grins, then addresses Jane and Tyler specifically. “I don’t need healing, I just need to not get hit.”

Jane gives him an annoyed look. “As long as I get a few levels in, it’ll scale enough that we can shrug off stuff easily.”

“Ah, but that’s dependent on you actually surviving that long.” Sasha winks, leaning back in his chair precariously.

“This is a ridiculously lethal tit arpug, to be fair.” Lily points at Jane. “Still need to roll for that dex save, by the way.”

“Why the fuck do you pronounce it that way again? Just say t-t-r-p-g like the rest of us sane people.” Tyler asks, somewhat concerned by her state of mind.

“It’s faster. Also, I like pissing uptight people off.”

“Okay, I’m going to ignore that whole thing for my mental state’s sake.” Jane then rolls one of her dice, drawing everyone’s attention as it comes to a stop.

Collectively, the table says, “Shit.”